Seven Years

How did I love you?

"Seven Years" by Natalie Merchant

October, 1976

Blazes of shimmering red fired out into the night sky. It was near curfew, and a first year stood wide-eyed, mouth gaping open at the sight she saw. She didn't understand why the big boys were fighting. One boy was thin, almost painfully so, but had long black hair that whipped about his face as he whirled and swiveled his body in graceful movements. The other boy had shorter black hair and was tanned. He was built strong and tall and moved with the strength of an athlete. His movements were calculated, just like the other long-haired, pale boy, but without the grace and style that called to the little first-year. She could not stop watching the lithe form of the pallid boy with his lanky black hair. Finally, an older Gryffindor student saw her mesmerized and chided her to get inside. She grabbed the little girl's pale hand and pulled her away from the sight and back into the castle.

"Ella, what was that? Why were those big boys fighting?" the little girl asked later as she slipped her nightgown over her head.

Ella sighed tiredly as she helped her find her sleeves. "They always fight, love. Just stay out of their way. Don't worry. They'll be gone in one more year."

"Who are they?" she asked with wide-eyed interest.

Ella brushed out the little girl's long black hair. "Why do you want to know?" she asked, trying to sway her away from the conversation.

"The one boy, I've seen him around. Everybody is a'scared of him. But I think it's because he makes mean faces."

Ella smiled in spite of herself. "His name is Severus Snape, and he is a Slytherin. So you don't go sticking your pert nose into his business, young miss. He'll feed you to the pet snakes they have in their common room!" Her eyes grew big in a way to scare the young girl.

"Ohhh! But he has hair like mine." She looked down at her own limp black hair. Black. "It's not easy having black hair, you know," she said sadly.

"Do you feel sorry for him?" asked Ella.

"Well, I keep seeing him duel with the same boy a lot, and sometimes another boy joins in! And that's not fair!" she exclaimed.

"Hmmm. I guess you are right," Ella said matter-of-factly. "But there are a lot of things in this life that aren't fair. What if I told you that sometimes Snape starts the fights?"

"Why would he start a fight with two boys at once?" she asked doubtfully.

'Well, you just said, it isn't two-on-one all the time. Most of the time, it is one-on-one."

"Who's the other boy?"

"James Potter."

"A Gryffindor! He's a seeker!"

"That's right."

"I wonder why they fight so much," she said as she yawned.

"Let's get you in bed!" chided Ella as she helped the girl under her covers.

"Is it wrong to feel bad for Snape?" asked the little girl quietly.

"I don't think it's ever wrong to feel compassion for someone. You just have to learn to keep it in perspective."

Ella smiled at the dark-haired girl as she closed her dark brown eyes. First years! So innocent and eager to decide what's right and what's wrong!

***

The little girl went into the Great Hall for breakfast the next day and kept an eye out for Severus Snape. She was curious about him. He had long, straight, black hair like she had, and he knew how to duel like a grown wizard! She liked that. She wanted to learn how to duel like that, as well. If she knew how to duel, maybe then the boys would stop teasing her and calling her names. She strained her neck down the table and looked at James Potter. He had black hair too, but it wasn't straight. It was always mussy, but he knew how to duel... No, he's popular, she thought. He doesn't understand what it's like to not be liked.

She decided she was going to watch them and learn what she could about real wizard dueling. She kept her head down but her eyes and ears open. The following week she got her wish.

She was hiding under a tree, where she couldn't be detected easily, when the sixth years came out from class. Sure enough, James Potter and Severus Snape started to argue. Another dark-haired boy got into the mix, and the three of them started to duel. She got up angrily and stalked over to where they were and stood as close as she dared to the fray.

"Oy!" said the one dark-haired boy. "Okay, we've got a first year here. Knock it off, Snivellus!"

"And why should I? Isn't she one of your precious Gryffindors? I'm sure with time you'll be teaching her how to hex people behind their backs as well!" Snape snarled.

She walked over towards Snape, and he looked down menacingly at the little girl.

"What?" he barked.

"I didn't think it was fair. I mean there are two of them and only one of you," she said meekly.

At this, the one dark-haired boy doubled over with laughter. "So, Snivelly, finally got a girlfriend?" His dark eyes glittering maliciously as he laughed.

"You are disgusting, Black!" he retorted. Then he jerked his head and glowered at the young girl.

"Why do you care, little cub? Go run off with your little Gryffindor friends." He leaned down close to her face. "Don't you know that I eat little Gryffindor girls for my dinner?" he said in a sinister voice.

She squeaked and felt more scared than in her whole life. She glanced at James Potter and his friend. They were looking at the exchange with fascination.

She swallowed and got up her Gryffindor courage and said, "You have long black hair like me. And you're pale like me. It's not easy having black hair and being pale." She felt like an idiot, and he looked at her as if she were one.

She turned around and pointed her wand at her fellow Gryffindors. "I only think it's fair if you're going to duel that you do it fairly," she stated in her bravest voice.

The Gryffindors started to laugh, and Snape growled at her and made his exit quickly. The big boys knelt down and introduced themselves.

"I'm Potter, this here is Black. You are a very brave little witch!" James said condescendingly, but to the young girl it was a compliment, and she felt a surge of pride.

"It's true you know," said Black animatedly. "Snivellus does eat little firsties for his dinner. He's a very, very, bad person. You stay away from him," he warned as he shook a finger at her.

The boys took her by her hands and led her back to the castle.

"Whatever possessed you to do what you did?" asked James.

"I don't think it's right. Snape fights alone and you two have each other. Once, I saw another boy with you. Three against one...that's not fair!"

The boys grinned above her head.

"Okay, sweetie," said James. "From now on, it'll be one-on-one. Promise!"

Black stooped down to her height again. "You don't have a little crush on Snivellus, do you?" he asked teasingly.

"Eew! He's a boy!" exclaimed the little girl as she took off running into the castle.

James and Sirius cracked up laughing.

***

October 1977

The little girl went into her second year even more fascinated by the angry-looking young wizard. She kept on watching the duels between him and James Potter, and true to James' word, there were no more two against one dueling.

The second year knew that the dark young man was not handsome, but when he dueled, he was so elegant and powerful that his physical appearance didn't matter. It made him beautiful to her. He had a presence that pulled her in. James Potter was an excellent duelist himself, but he was so vastly different: virile and masculine in his movements. Snape was fluid in motion, a harnessed power that threatened to release at any moment. They were very well suited dueling partners. It was just a shame they hated each other so much! Together, they could have been a formidable match against anyone...

The little Gryffindor he had strangely acquired was not lost on Snape. He knew she watched him, and he knew she was trying to memorize the patterns and hexes he and Potter used on one another. He saw Potter, Black, Lupin, and Pettigrew talking to her about keeping away, but she was too drawn in. He smirked inwardly at times as he snarled at her outwardly.

One day, he was walking outside when he came upon the young girl. She was alone and by the edge of the Forest. She had her wand, and he could see she was trying to practice dueling movements. He stood still and watched her. She would try to lunge and move in a way that was strangely familiar to him. He frowned. What on earth? he thought. Then he chortled. Well, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery! It felt good that she looked up to him, but it was just a little girl curiosity. He had to admire her guts, though, as a Gryffindor to trail him, a Slytherin, and a vile Slytherin at that! Unfortunately, he was not as cautious as he should have been. Another set of beady eyes were watching as well...

"Little cub," Snape called.

She stopped, flashing her wand. He'd scared her!

He came out, and she started blushing. Of course, he had been watching her pitiful attempts at dueling.

"Here, it's like this," he said softly, taking pity on her.

He stood behind her, took her wand hand in his, and the young girl felt a shiver down her spine as he covered her hand in his to poise it correctly. He then stood behind her as he showed her how to plant her feet firmly on the ground. He showed her some basic steps, lunges, and such. She beamed at him.

"Look, if you are going to do something, you should do it correctly!" he snapped. He was unnerved by how she looked at him. Good Lord, she has a crush on me! he thought exasperatedly.

***

The next day he was walking across the Quad and saw a group of boys surrounding someone and laughing. He usually did not pay attention to what the younger dunderheads did for entertainment, but he caught a glimpse of black hair, and a feeling of dread came over him. The boys were not allowing whoever was in the middle free. They were jeering and laughing. He came closer and loomed over them. There was the little cub, crying. They were making fun of her, calling her names, telling her she was ugly. She was clutching her books tightly, and her head hung while her shoulders shook from her sobs.

"Having a bit of fun, boys?" he said darkly.

They turned, and when they saw him, they turned white with fear.

"It never ceases to amaze me how Gryffindors can be so brave," he sneered. "It does take so much fortitude for four boys to gang up and humiliate a little girl. Is that what they refer to as 'Gryffindor courage?'"

They stood stock still until he bent down and whispered, "This is the part where you run before I hex you all so badly your mothers won't even recognize your pathetic hides!"

They scrambled to get away and now he was faced with her! He rolled his eyes and produced a handkerchief. She took it gratefully and wiped her eyes.

"T-t-thank y-you," she stammered through her sobs.

"Stop sniveling, girl!" he said harshly. Her tears were starting to annoy him. He thought she would stop crying at the command of his voice, but instead she cried harder. He rolled his eyes again, grabbed her by the crook of her arm, and dragged her into an alcove. He bent down to her level and said, "Stop this now! There is no one here that is going to hurt you. The boys are gone. They were only calling you names for Merlin's sake! Now if they had jinxed or hexed you repeatedly, then I could understand the water works!"

She nodded and got control of her crying. She flung herself onto him and hugged him.

He was deeply touched at the sweetness of her nature. She was a very honest and loving soul. He finally extricated himself from her grasp and looked into her eyes, "You pay them no mind. But if they corner you again, just do this." He showed her a simple, but effective, simple Stinging hex. She looked at him with hero worship. She has to stop doing that! he thought as he stood up, scowling at her.

"Get on with you!" he snapped at her. She ran off and he went back to his business. Now if he could only get a certain seventeen-year-old girl to look at him like that, then life may not be so cruel!

***

Finally, one evening, he had had enough. The girl had been trailing his every move since that day in the Quad. It was getting just ridiculous! He turned around and called her out. She thought she had been clever enough to follow him without being discovered.

"Come out and play, little cub," he crooned softly.

It was an eerie and terrifying call. She decided to come out anyway; he already knew she was there. She just couldn't help it. He was like a mighty force. He was not handsome, but he was powerful. She was drawn to him. Then there had been the day he had put his hand on hers and stood behind her to teach her to duel. The feelings were so intense; she knew she would always want to be in his orbit.

He stood towering above her frowning. "Obviously, my earlier threat when we first met did not seem to register. Is there a mental deficiency amongst Gryffindors? Why must you dog my every step, you silly girl? Don't you have enough sense to be terrified of me?"

"I'm not afraid," she said clearly.

"Why not? Clearly, everyone else in this castle despises me, especially females. What are you, some type of anomaly?" His tone was unmistakably sarcastic.

"I know why girls don't like you," she whispered.

His eyes glared at the impertinent girl, and he stepped up close to tower over her slight form in an attempt to intimidate her. "Oh, really, little cub? Why do girls not like me?"

"Because you have black hair. Boys don't like me either. My hair is long and slick like yours. It's straight, dark, and boys only like lighter hair. I've noticed. Red, blonde, brown, but not black. The girls only like black hair if it's not so straight and if you have a tan to offset it. And we're pale!" She glanced around and whispered to him, "The boys tease me. They think I'm part vampire, and it hurts my feelings."

Snape crossed his arms and gave a snort. "You are far too sensitive, little cub. People are cruel and vicious...on purpose!" He lifted her chin up with one long white finger. He examined her face, looking at her features. "You'll be pretty one day. Unfortunately, I shall never be handsome. The boys shall stop their teasing about you being a vamipiress, and then you'll be glad you have snuck around trying to learn my hexes off of Potter's backside."

Her mouth flew open to retort.

"Silence!" he snapped. "Don't think about lying to me. I don't know what game you are playing, little cub, but it shan't work! Now, why are you so hell-bent on trailing my every move, and don't give me any nonsense about complexions! I want the truth, and if you lie to me, I will find out the truth. I have my ways. I don't care if you are a sniveling second year! I don't trust any Gryffindors!"

"I like how you move when you duel. You are a very good duelist. I liked what you showed me in the Forest. I would very much like to learn how you do what you do. And I wasn't lying before! You stopped those boys from calling me names and rescued me. Besides, when you duel, you move so well, and it calls to me," she said earnestly.

There was no need for Legilimency. The little girl was drawn to the dark. A criminal-like smile appeared on his face. A little Gryffindor cub attracted to the dark arts at such a young age. It was very appealing. But, she was just a girl.

He knelt down and looked into her eyes. "If I promise when you are old enough to learn, I will instruct you in how to duel like a proper witch, will you swear to stop following me and also stop watching Potter and I fight?" he asked.

"Why do you fight?" she pressed.

Snape shook his head. "That is neither here nor there. Besides, it's none of your business! Now do you and I have a deal?" he asked.

"We-ll," she drew out carefully. "That depends on what 'old enough' is."

He smiled genuinely this time. "A very Slytherin response. I'm impressed, little cub."

He tapped his lips with a finger. "I shall come to you during your sixth year. If you are still interested, then I shall train you. I highly doubt you shall receive any true formal training in this place," he said derisively.

"This is on your word?" she pressed.

"My word is my bond," he said solemnly. "But shall you require an Unbreakable Vow?" he added sarcastically.

"No," she laughed.

"Well, I guess I will see you in four years then," she said sadly.

"What is your name, little cub?"

"Alissa Devon."

A/N: Thanks to my beta, MadBrilliant. Please review!