The Awakening

Chapter 13: The Awakening

The numbers continue to course through me as time passes unnoticed. I don’t know how long I’ve been here counting. I don’t see any reason to stop.

A man is approaching me, but he is not a number. He doesn’t matter.

As he continues to approach, part of me stirs. Something is wrong here. This is not how it was supposed to be. He is not a number, and yet I sense his appearance is important.

0. 1. 10. 11. 100. 101. 110. 111.

Not a number, not important. That’s all that matters.

“Pel, Marinelle sent me. The wizards are too interested in her abilities as a Wand Shepherd; she couldn’t slip away.”

0. 1. 10. 11. 100. 101. 110. 111.

“Pel?”

He is bending down to look at me closer. He who is not a number, and yet wrong in a different way, too.

0. 1. 10. 11. 100.

0. 1. 10. 11. 110.

0. 1. 10. 10. 11. 110.

“Pel? Are you alright?” Reaching out, he touches me. Not a number, not important.

0. 1. 10. 11. 100. 101. 110. 111.

0. 1. 10. 11. 100. 101. 110. 111.

There’s a strange vibration in my right hand. Not a number, and yet… right. Something comes back to me then. The power of Liara floods my senses, sending the nanos retreating as I fall out of Anti-Magic mode.

I look up at Edon, confused. I don’t know where I am or why. The numbers still pulse at the edge of my consciousness, my mind’s own tendency toward habit distracting me from reality.

I am a Wizard, I remember now. Everything comes back to me in one crisp shock: the Baobab ship, my instructions to Marinelle.

“Pel? Are you alright?” Real worry lines his face. I can’t help but smile at that.

“Yes, I’m alright. What happened with the ship? Has it rooted yet?”

“I think so. In any case, when I left, there were enormous roots seeping into the ground around the ship.”

He looks slightly confused at this, and I’m not surprised. Wizards don’t often visit Military planets, and when we do so, we don’t recharge our ships in plain sight.

“Were they searching for me?”

“They didn’t appear to be, no. They seemed most interested in the wand tree grove…”

I inwardly wince in irritation as I realize that my actions drew the Wizardry here. What did I expect, really? That I’d be able to grow a grove of wand trees and no one from the Wand Faction would notice? I should have expected this.

But, in any event, what’s most important is that they haven’t come for me.

“Alright. Do you think Marinelle and the rest are safe for the moment?”

“Yes… Look, there’s something I need to know before we go back to camp.” He glances at me and hesitates before continuing. “What was going on with you when I found you?”

I arc an eyebrow at him in annoyance. Wizards have just landed and he’s letting his curiosity run wild now?

“That’s not really your concern. What matters now is that we get back to camp before they notice your absence and become curious.”

He looks at me, and I see his face harden.

“No, Capella. I need to know. Now. For weeks, you’ve been keeping me—and Marinelle—in the dark. I know there are things about your past you don’t want us to know.”

“Edon, please—” I try to interrupt him, but he just talks right over me.

“I don’t need to know everything; but if you want me to continue trusting you, I need to know what you’re capable of. How did you even know the ship was coming? You slip off at night, and sometimes I catch a glimpse of you flying, but where to? And now, I catch you seemingly comatose, and yet you awaken as if nothing were wrong?”

My mind is whirring at this. How much has he seen? I try to clear my thoughts, the numbers still receding in the background, but what can I possibly say to these questions? I need him—all of the former “Deranged”—on my side if I am to fool these wizards. I need his loyalty, and I need his trust. And yet, to tell him about my body-mods would reveal a part of my past that no one—other than those directly involved in the surgeries—knows about. But if I try to pass it off as magic, then he’ll ask to learn it… or, even worse, mention it to the wizards in passing.

Noticing my delay, he starts talking again.

“Capella, what do I have to do to get you to trust me? What reason do I have to betray you? What, you think I’m going to jump ship and fly off with these wizards? I am who I am, and who I am first and foremost is Military.”

I sigh loud enough for him to notice. To awaken from Anti-Magic mode to this is straining my patience.

“No, Edon, I don’t think you’ll betray me. I do trust you.” Maybe placating him will work? Somehow, I doubt it, but anything other than the truth or an outright lie is worth it.

“Then what’s the issue, Pel? What are you running from?”

Everything. I’m running from everything, and I’m beginning to get tired of it.

“I betrayed the Wizardry, Edon.”

“So that’s what you were going to be drained for.” He nods to himself, and I feel my chest contract.

Marinelle told him. I remember the day I landed here, my joy at finding an old friend… my lack of judgment in telling her why I was here.

Edon looks up at me as the silence stretches on and opens his mouth to break it.

“She didn’t tell anyone else. Just me. You can trust us, Pel. I didn’t trust you at first, but now… Look, I’m a military wizard. Who else is going to help me, if not you? You think I could just join up with the Wizardry at my age? That the Military would take me back?”

He’s right. I’ve become so used to hiding parts of myself that I never questioned the decision. And now, what choice do I have? If I don’t tell him, he won’t be able to trust me. And if he can’t trust me, then I can’t trust him.

“I told you I betrayed the Wizardry. But it’s more than that. You asked about my flights and the state you found me in today.” I stop here and catch my breath, try to prepare myself for what I’m about to say. “I did more than betray the Wizardry: I was working with the Raiders.”