The View from Above
Chapter 10 of 16
CosetteIn a world with two competing factions (Wizardry and Military), one Wizard breaks the rules. This story contains sci-fi and fantasy elements.
This is a ROUGH DRAFT story. I will post chapters as I've written them. I am sharing it with you all in the hopes of getting feedback on the main story idea.
Also note that this story is only rated M to prevent the public from being able to read it. I don't expect it to ever be past T.
Chapter 10: The View from Above
I begin my ascent the same way I did two weeks before: with the simple command UP! Marinelle and Edon watch me leave; they know what to do if they need me to return quickly. As their faces disappear from view, I cast AIR BAG once again, capturing the oxygen around my face. It’s almost not necessary for such a short excursion: when I’m in Space Mode, my lungs can transform a small amount of carbon dioxide back into oxygen. The carbon leftover then powers the nanos that allow this change.
I still don’t know when, or even if, I will ever tell Marinelle and Edon about this. I trust them to not abandon me, to follow my orders, but I don’t know yet if I can trust them with such a secret. The Military never allowed any sort of body modifications, and that’s what I’ve had done to my body: body-mods that neither the Military nor the Wizardry could even guess at. Body-mods that neither the Military nor the Wizardry would approve of.
As I begin to breach the atmosphere, I allow my body to slip into Space Mode. I feel the nanos hard at work in my eyes, skin, lungs. It’s not painful, but I’m not sure I’ll ever really get used to the way the nanos feel when they’re active. The sensation would make my skin crawl, if it weren’t already crawling underneath.
The view from above is the same as it was when I arrived on the phoenix. The same as it’s been every night. I hover for a few minutes anyways, just to be sure that no ship drops out of its respective dimension to show up here. They must be searching for me now, all of them. I can’t imagine the Wizardry would let the Military get away with allowing me to escape without some form of punishment. Will that punishment be to force the Military to help them search for me? It seems possible. Or will the Wizardry be so terrified of further treachery that they take matters into their own hands? Also possible. And there’s another, too, who I dare to hope is searching for me… but I won’t allow myself to dwell on such hopes.
Even in Space Mode, it’s beautiful up here. If the spells required weren’t so draining, if the nanos weren’t so uncomfortable, this would be eminently enjoyable. For one very short moment, I turn off Space Mode and use my normal eyes to see. The cold threatens to smother me, but the view is worth it. There’s just something about seeing with my own eyes that makes this more enjoyable. I could almost get lost up here, looking up at the stars and down at the planet that’s become my asylum. Resignedly, I switch back into Space Mode before space can take me, feeling the crawling of the nanos under my skin, through my blood, pulsing in my eyes…
Marinelle’s voice from below bellows into my ears: “We need you! They’re coming!” I hold Liara in my right hand—Liara who’s become almost a friend now and quivers in gratitude when I use her—and command REPLY MARINELLE: COMING DOWN NOW. GATHER WANDS BEFORE THEY ARRIVE. REMEMBER “CALM”. With Diago, I slowly pull back on the UP spell, allowing gravity to draw me back to the surface.
Descending, I stay in Space Mode until the atmosphere’s warmth surrounds me again. I regret that I don’t have any body-mods that track human movement… We’ve planned as well as we could, but even Edon has no idea what the Deranged will do when they find us. If I ever get the chance, I’ll get a body-mod for this… but these thoughts are not helpful, not now.
The grove of Wand Trees are in sight now. I strain my eyes searching for Nelle and Edon, but I’m still too far up to see them. I pull back further on the UP spell, allowing my descent to quicken. There they are: Marinelle and Edon, surrounded by perhaps a dozen Deranged. Directing my descent, I fall to the ground next to them, hitting the ground hard enough to knock the wind out of me.
Shouts from the Deranged hit me from all over as Nelle and Edon help me to my feet. I struggle to find my breath again, almost resorting to Space Mode just to get my lungs moving, but then it comes back to me, in deep, frantic gulps that have never tasted so refreshing.
Using my close proximity to Nelle and Edon to advantage, I whisper, “Have you calmed them yet?”
“Some,” Nelle whispers back.
“But—”
“You didn’t have time for all,” I finish the sentence Edon barely started.
I stand up, push Nelle and Edon away as my senses come back to me. Next time, I will land slower. If these Deranged hadn’t been so surprised to see me fall out of the sky, I would have been vulnerable.
They look at me, surprise beginning to recede from all of their faces. One of them, a large woman with frizzy blonde hair, pinched nostrils, and wide lips, advances towards me.
“What have you done to them, Wizard?” She points towards Nelle and Edon.
“She’s done nothing to us!” Nelle retorts. Edon fingers his wand, Bikole, nervously.
“How can you expect us to believe that? You’ve been hiding from us all this time; did she take you? Make you her whimpering Military slave?” The woman continues, showing no signs of stopping even as Marinelle tries to interrupt. “And you, Edon! I always suspected you had a reason for running off on your own so frequently. When did you become a Wizard’s pet spy?”
The group begins to push in on us. They have no real weapons, but many of them hold sticks and rocks in their hands.
No matter, really. I always thought it might come to this.
“Give me your wands,” I shout at Nelle and Edon. Confusion and hesitation slow their movements. “Now!”
They respond to my order as I’ve trained them—quickly—by passing me their wands. Holding Diago and Aichon in one hand, Liara and Bikole in the other, I focus my attention on all four wands. Liara, as usual, tries to draw most of my attention, but I deny her, sharing my attention equally amongst all four wands. I direct their power towards the Deranged and silently command TSAV!
Instantly, the Deranged fall to the ground, their bodies writhing. The spell continues as I look down on the Deranged.
“Let me make myself perfectly clear. Marinelle and Edon have joined me because they are Wizards. You all are Wizards. I’m offering you a choice here. Either you agree to join me, as Marinelle and Edon have, or you agree to leave us alone.”
The big blonde manages a whimpering reply, “Why should we join you?” Her teeth chatter, splicing her words into syllables. “Let us go.”
Nelle and Edon are beginning to look uncomfortable. I’ve taught them many spells, but this is not one of them. Before they can openly voice their discomfort, I direct my attention to the four wands and stop the spell.
The bodies of the Deranged instantly release as the pain leaves them.
“Because,” I reply to the big blonde, “if you join me, I can give you a new life. I can help you get off this planet.” Directing my voice to all of them, I continue. “Unless you really are enjoying yourselves here?”
Another voice pipes up, from somewhere in the back of the group, “And if we neither leave nor join you?”
I allow myself a malicious smile. “I would think that answer would be obvious.”
One by one, the Deranged pledge to join me, to follow my commands, and to be trained as Wizards.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Unnatural Wizardry
6 Reviews | 6.0/10 Average
Anonymous
Good work.
A good, solid chapter with fine imagery and insight. I am somewhat at a loss as to the sex of our protagonist however. Feels female at times.
So, is Magic a free-flowing natural force like water in this universe, or is it a more fickle force that is coaxed into the service of mankind? (Like electricity.)
Again, good work!
Author's Response: She's female. :) About your question about magic, I can't answer it completely (it'll ruin the story for you later on), but I can answer curtly by saying: BOTH! :P Thank you!
Anonymous
Nice!
This is a fine begining to a dynamic, adventure-filled epic.
I like mixed-genre stories, but very few authors can pull it off well. (One of the very best examples is Michael Swanwick's The Iron Dragon's Daughter. It's fantastically detailed, and does Sci-Fi, Steampunk, and Fantasy incredibly well.)
One of the things I'd keep an eye on, is your habit of using numerals in your prose. That's a grammatical 'no-no' unless it's relating to technical read-outs and such.
Watch out for stumbles against the Laws of Physics: AIR BAG may give you air to breathe, but won't help much when your body's fluids are subliming into the hard vacuum of space because there's no atmospheric counter-pressure to prevent it!
Still, its a good start, and I'm interested!
Author's Response: Thanks! The first chapter I know needs a lot of work: this story is based on a dream I had, and the first chapter was me jotting down as much of the dream as I could remember, as quickly as possible.
I hope you keep reading it: I've been taking a break and need to be encouraged!
EdgeOfDark's response: You're welcome! It was fun!
I TOTALLY understand what you mean by a need to be encouraged!
Please, feel free to peek at one of my stories, and encourage me!!
Again, very interesting. Is Capella male or female?
Response from Cosette (Author of Unnatural Wizardry)
She's female. Thanks for the review! The story's starting to take more definite form in my mind, so I hope you'll like what's coming. :)
This is an interesting story. I hope you will continue with it :)
Response from Cosette (Author of Unnatural Wizardry)
I'm working on it! I'm still not completely sure where it's going to go: I think we'll be finding out together. :)Thanks for the review!
Anonymous
Wow. That was unexpected. So she may have an ally... or enemy. This is going to get interesting!
Author's Response: Thanks! Keep on reading. :)