Movement
Chapter 4 of 16
CosetteIn a world with two competing factions (Wizardry and Military), one Wizard breaks the rules. This story contains sci-fi and fantasy elements.
This is a ROUGH DRAFT story. I will post chapters as I've written them. I am sharing it with you all in the hopes of getting feedback on the main story idea.
Also note that this story is only rated M to prevent the public from being able to read it. I don't expect it to ever be past T.
Chapter 4: Movement
Movement wakes me the next morning. Nelle is up already, shaking her head back and forth frantically. I get up, walk over to her, tap her on the shoulder gently. Startled, she looks at me, like she'd forgotten I was there.
"Nelle? What's wrong?"
"No no no. It's not back. It can't be. Must still be sleeping." The rocking spreads from her head to her torso; her head stops shaking side to side, but her body moves front to back.
I don't know what to do.
"No no no no no no no..." Her litany continues.
"Marinelle? Are you okay?" Stupid question. Obviously she's not or she wouldn't be doing this.
I touch her more forcefully, my thumb leaving its imprint on her thin shirt. I could cast Hankisd ënel on her, but that would empty Liara... Perhaps Burago would be enough. That wand, at least, is still just a wand to me. Seeing no other options, I pull Burago out of my sleeve and point it at her.
"NOOOOO! Louder, louder, can't be louder. I left them back there, how could they follow me here?"
I feel Burago vibrate softly in my left hand. Perhaps it knows it is about to be used up. She's not calming down at all; actually, she seems to be getting more frantic now that Burago is pointed at her. I direct my thoughts towards Burago, apologizing for what I see no way out of doing, and command Hankisd ënel.
Burago quivers in my hand one last time as the spell is cast. Nothing more than a stick now, I drop what was once the wand Burago on the ground.
She stops rocking and a peaceful smile brightens her face.
"Better?" I ask.
"Yes. Did you do something to me?"
"I sent a calming spell your way. I'm glad it seems to be working."
"Well, thanks. It's not often I'm grateful to a wizard, but thanks... I really do feel much better now."
"What happened? You were acting like... well, like a Deranged."
At that word, she shakes her head frantically.
"I'm not! It's just...well, it's been so long since the last time...sometimes I hear things. One word, repeated over and over. It hasn't happened since I left the Deranged, though. I thought it was over."
"What word were you hearing this time?"
Before she can answer, a faint tapping just outside the cabin interrupts us. Suddenly alert, she looks at the wall suspiciously.
"Nelle? It's me, Edon! It's urgent!"
She whispers back, "Were you followed?"
"No! Now I'm coming in...this can't wait!"
I watch as a man in tattered Military garb with a forest of unruly dirt-brown hair and lips torn open like a split seam enters the cabin.
"They're coming! They'll be walking by here any minute!"
"What? Now? But my house, they can't know I live here!"
Noticing me for the first time, he sees my robes, and a sneer greases onto his lips.
"And what are you doing here, Wizard? Dropped on the wrong continent, were you?"
With one easy motion, I pull out Liara and point it directly at Edon, who immediately recoils.
"If you have the habit of offending wizards, I would suggest you break it before I do it for you." I'm bluffing, of course; I would not waste Liara on such an ignorant buffoon. But even here, I expect some degree of respect as a wizard.
Edon stares at the wand in terror. Satisfied it's done its job, I put it away. Once the wand is hidden, Nelle says, "Edon, this is Capella, an old friend of mine. She can be trusted. Capella, I'm sorry if Edon's offended you, but..."
Faint footsteps interrupt her. Her eyes dart around the room quickly, as if weighing a decision.
"We're leaving. I can't let them find me here!"
She takes one last look around and then walks out. Baffled, I follow her.
Edon considers me warily before telling Nelle, "I'll go back to them now." At a worried glance from her, he adds, "Don't worry, I'll just tell them I had to take a piss in private for once. Look, if you go to the camp they're leaving, they won't find you and you'll have shelter. I'll find you there later, promise." With that, he rushes off towards the footsteps.
Nelle starts trotting toward the forest we'd been in the day before. I don't want to be left alone when the Deranged show up, so I follow her. Without looking back, she leads me deep into the forest until the sound of footsteps other than our own has faded. She's setting such a fast pace that talking would be difficult; plus, she seems so terrified of the Deranged finding her that I suspect she wants to be as quiet as possible. Even though we are jogging at a sustainable pace, she is going out of her way not to step on any fallen tree limbs or move wayward branches. Instead, we flow around them. It occurs to me that she is not only trying to hide us now, but also trying to prevent any Deranged from following our trail.
When we reach the place where we'd found each other yesterday, she stops for a brief moment to grab a piece of fruit. The brief jog has made me thirsty as well; my muscles haven't been so used since joining the Wizardry three years prior. I eagerly grab my own fruit, enjoying the abundance of water it provides. She doesn't wait for me to finish, but begins her jog as soon as she's done. I lug the unfinished fruit with me, straining to take bites as my legs heave forward. We're heading back east now, toward where the Phoenix dropped me the day before. Sometime soon I'm going to need to eat something other than fruit, but that is a concern for after this frantic run is over.
She turns north, leading me through a section of the forest I'm not familiar with. The trees are exactly the same, but they seem to be thinning the further north we get. She stops suddenly before the forest ends and crouches behind a tree. I squat behind one nearby, watching her curiously. I've heard nothing but animals for a while now, certainly nothing that would make me suspect we were being followed. Nodding to herself first and then to me as an afterthought, she stands and we leave the forest.
We're on a beach now. From my memories of this planet from astronomical scale, I know that the ocean we now see separates this continent from its northern counterpart. This reminds me of something Edon said earlier, which piqued my curiosity at the time.
"Nelle..." She shakes her head and points further north. My question will have to wait until we reach the supposedly-abandoned camp of Deranged.
Continuing our trek north, we approach a cluster of perhaps two dozen temporary shelters: lean-tos prevail, though there are also a few teepees. It looks abandoned. A large number of footprints lead west, toward Nelle's former home. We walk through the entire camp, checking each lean-to and teepee to make sure the Deranged truly have left.
It strikes me as odd that they would just abandon their camp like this. Then again, they are Deranged; who knows why they do anything?
Finally satisfied the camp is abandoned, we stop near the eastern edge. There's a boulder large enough for both of us to sit on, which we do. My weak legs shake under me as I sit. They're going to be sore tomorrow.
Whispering, I ask, "Is it okay to talk now?"
She answers me with another whisper, "Yes... but let's keep it to a whisper for a while. I want to be sure they're all gone."
I'm about to ask the question I thought of earlier when something strange catches my eyes. In the center of the camp is a lone tree rising out of the sand where no tree should be able to grow. Yet there it is. As I gaze at it, I begin to feel pulled toward it, as if the tree has a gravity of its own.
I've been dropped in the middle of a forest and told not to leave. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. The damn Wizardry and their tests! Kicking a loose stone out of frustration, I pace until even my legs get bored. But then a word rises in my head unbidden: Friole. What kind of a word is that? But it won't stop and seems to be guiding me toward something on the ground. I search and am drawn towards an enormous tree whose bark seems to shimmer. On the ground beneath the tree are small branches. The word is louder now. I bend down to examine the branches. When I touch one of them, the word stops and my hand closes around it of its own volition.
Scattering my thoughts, my mind hears the whisper of a word: Diago.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Unnatural Wizardry
6 Reviews | 6.0/10 Average
Anonymous
Good work.
A good, solid chapter with fine imagery and insight. I am somewhat at a loss as to the sex of our protagonist however. Feels female at times.
So, is Magic a free-flowing natural force like water in this universe, or is it a more fickle force that is coaxed into the service of mankind? (Like electricity.)
Again, good work!
Author's Response: She's female. :) About your question about magic, I can't answer it completely (it'll ruin the story for you later on), but I can answer curtly by saying: BOTH! :P Thank you!
Anonymous
Nice!
This is a fine begining to a dynamic, adventure-filled epic.
I like mixed-genre stories, but very few authors can pull it off well. (One of the very best examples is Michael Swanwick's The Iron Dragon's Daughter. It's fantastically detailed, and does Sci-Fi, Steampunk, and Fantasy incredibly well.)
One of the things I'd keep an eye on, is your habit of using numerals in your prose. That's a grammatical 'no-no' unless it's relating to technical read-outs and such.
Watch out for stumbles against the Laws of Physics: AIR BAG may give you air to breathe, but won't help much when your body's fluids are subliming into the hard vacuum of space because there's no atmospheric counter-pressure to prevent it!
Still, its a good start, and I'm interested!
Author's Response: Thanks! The first chapter I know needs a lot of work: this story is based on a dream I had, and the first chapter was me jotting down as much of the dream as I could remember, as quickly as possible.
I hope you keep reading it: I've been taking a break and need to be encouraged!
EdgeOfDark's response: You're welcome! It was fun!
I TOTALLY understand what you mean by a need to be encouraged!
Please, feel free to peek at one of my stories, and encourage me!!
Again, very interesting. Is Capella male or female?
Response from Cosette (Author of Unnatural Wizardry)
She's female. Thanks for the review! The story's starting to take more definite form in my mind, so I hope you'll like what's coming. :)
This is an interesting story. I hope you will continue with it :)
Response from Cosette (Author of Unnatural Wizardry)
I'm working on it! I'm still not completely sure where it's going to go: I think we'll be finding out together. :)Thanks for the review!
Anonymous
Wow. That was unexpected. So she may have an ally... or enemy. This is going to get interesting!
Author's Response: Thanks! Keep on reading. :)