What Was Left Behind
Chapter 8 of 16
CosetteIn a world with two competing factions (Wizardry and Military), one Wizard breaks the rules. This story contains sci-fi and fantasy elements.
This is a ROUGH DRAFT story. I will post chapters as I've written them. I am sharing it with you all in the hopes of getting feedback on the main story idea.
Also note that this story is only rated M to prevent the public from being able to read it. I don't expect it to ever be past T.
Chapter 8: What Was Left Behind
With Nelle’s first flame, our dinner is cooked in moments. We sit down to eat, the three of us, each deep in our own thoughts about the future. And I, watching Nelle occasionally pause in her eating to touch Diago, can’t help but remember how attached I was to my first wand, Friole, even before the ceremony bonding me to it. The feeling of power, of control—those have stayed with me; those have grown as my magical ability has grown. I know what Nelle is feeling; and I know that, if I don’t find another wand for her to use soon, she will become dangerously reluctant to return Diago to me.
“Nelle, I know this might be hard for you to do right now, but I need you to give Diago back to me.”
The flash of anger that flits across her face is quickly suppressed. If I had waited any longer, I doubt she would have been able to suppress that anger. As it is, she sets her lips with determination.
“Why can’t I keep Diago? You have Liara…”
I open my mouth to reply, but Edon cuts in.
“Why do you get all the wands, Capella? Shouldn’t Nelle, as an ‘aspiring wizard’, have her own wand to use?”
I sigh audibly, letting my annoyance show.
“In Basic training, who had the most firepower: the new recruits or the higher ups who were teaching them?”
Edon rolls his eyes, but gets my point. I think. Nelle, however, still looks determined to hold onto Diago.
“But you’re right, Edon. Nelle should have her own wand. But right now, with Liara so low in power—” Though not for much longer, if my suspicions are correct, “—Diago is the only usable wand we have. And, since I’m the only one here who’s a trained Wizard, I get the wand.”
Nelle sighs, but nods reluctantly as she passes Diago back to me.
“Now, I need some information. You two have mentioned other camps that were abandoned because of a word, right?” They both nodded. “How many such abandoned camps are there?”
Nelle and Edon exchanged a glance.
“When I left the group, we had already abandoned half a dozen camps. It seemed like only a few weeks would pass before a word would start drumming in our heads. Edon knows more, though, since he stayed with them…”
“How much are you going to tell her, Nelle? You may trust her, but I don’t want to loose a wizard armed with dozens of wands on all of us!”
Dozens of wands. Dozens!
“The wands won’t all be for me,” Though I’ll certainly keep a few as my own, I add to myself. “The wands will be for all of you.” Edon looks at me with what is becoming his normal skeptical look. “Yes, even you, Edon. And I can prove it to you, if you’re willing.”
“And why would I be willing?” he retorts.
“Oh, I thought you would have jumped at the chance to prove a wizard wrong. But if you want to be the only wandless wizard—and I do believe you are a wizard, Edon, no matter what you may want to believe—on this continent, that’s fine with me.”
Reluctantly, he nods. “You win, Capella. Prove it to me.”
And I do. An hour later—he was stubborn, vainly trying to ignore the wand’s call—Edon produces his first flame, weaker than Nelle’s, but it is there. And the magic worked its own power on Edon: he is almost as reluctant to return Diago to me as Nelle was.
All of these unknown wizards… and only me to teach them. Only me to guide them, to shape them. And they will all be mine.
“Now, Edon, how about you answer my questions.”
“Right. Will do. Capella, sir!” He adds the last with a mock grin and a wink at Nelle.
“How many abandoned camps are there, that you know of?”
“At least 40, maybe more. It wasn’t new when I got here, either. We just up and moved when enough of us were bothered by the word. There might be more abandoned camps that I don’t know about.”
How helpful he is now that he wants his own wand!
“And where’s the next closest one?”
By the end of the next day, both Nelle and Edon have their own wands. As they practice simple spell casting throughout the night, I ponder my next step. I was never a Magic Teacher. I have never been particularly interested in training new wizards. And yet, if I am ever to leave this planet… if I am ever going to prove not my innocence, but my rightness… then I need to become a teacher. And not just any teacher, but a teacher to whom the students will be loyal… And what’s the best way to prove to ex-Military who think they’re Deranged that you’re worth not only learning from, but following?
With power, of course.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Unnatural Wizardry
6 Reviews | 6.0/10 Average
Anonymous
Good work.
A good, solid chapter with fine imagery and insight. I am somewhat at a loss as to the sex of our protagonist however. Feels female at times.
So, is Magic a free-flowing natural force like water in this universe, or is it a more fickle force that is coaxed into the service of mankind? (Like electricity.)
Again, good work!
Author's Response: She's female. :) About your question about magic, I can't answer it completely (it'll ruin the story for you later on), but I can answer curtly by saying: BOTH! :P Thank you!
Anonymous
Nice!
This is a fine begining to a dynamic, adventure-filled epic.
I like mixed-genre stories, but very few authors can pull it off well. (One of the very best examples is Michael Swanwick's The Iron Dragon's Daughter. It's fantastically detailed, and does Sci-Fi, Steampunk, and Fantasy incredibly well.)
One of the things I'd keep an eye on, is your habit of using numerals in your prose. That's a grammatical 'no-no' unless it's relating to technical read-outs and such.
Watch out for stumbles against the Laws of Physics: AIR BAG may give you air to breathe, but won't help much when your body's fluids are subliming into the hard vacuum of space because there's no atmospheric counter-pressure to prevent it!
Still, its a good start, and I'm interested!
Author's Response: Thanks! The first chapter I know needs a lot of work: this story is based on a dream I had, and the first chapter was me jotting down as much of the dream as I could remember, as quickly as possible.
I hope you keep reading it: I've been taking a break and need to be encouraged!
EdgeOfDark's response: You're welcome! It was fun!
I TOTALLY understand what you mean by a need to be encouraged!
Please, feel free to peek at one of my stories, and encourage me!!
Again, very interesting. Is Capella male or female?
Response from Cosette (Author of Unnatural Wizardry)
She's female. Thanks for the review! The story's starting to take more definite form in my mind, so I hope you'll like what's coming. :)
This is an interesting story. I hope you will continue with it :)
Response from Cosette (Author of Unnatural Wizardry)
I'm working on it! I'm still not completely sure where it's going to go: I think we'll be finding out together. :)Thanks for the review!
Anonymous
Wow. That was unexpected. So she may have an ally... or enemy. This is going to get interesting!
Author's Response: Thanks! Keep on reading. :)