Out of the Frying Pan

Disclaimer: This chapter contains dialogue copied word for word from "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" and "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows," both by the brilliant J. K. Rowling. To stay true to canon, I felt it necessary to do so. All direct quotes appear in italics.

This story was written strictly for fun; no profit has been made in the writing or sharing of this story.

As always, I'd like to extend my deepest thanks to my two wonderful betas, JENGOERGE and NervousAboutAngels, for their diligent proofreading and suggestions. They really helped to improve my story.

Chapter 16

"Out of the Frying Pan, Into the Fire,

Death Eaters Loose, Situation Dire"

Towards the end of February, Severus requested a meeting with Dumbledore on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest. As Severus interrogated Dumbledore about his meetings with Harry, he became more and more irritated about being kept in the dark. But he, of all people, understood the need for secrets. The less information Severus had, the less he could reveal to Voldemort if he was ever discovered.

But when they met later in Dumbledore's office, Severus was horror-stricken with the new information he had been entrusted with. As Dumbledore closed his eyes and spoke, Severus couldn't believe his ears. When the time came that Voldemort's snake, Nagini, was kept safely out of the fray under magical protection, Severus was to inform Harry that he had to sacrifice himself. What kind of insanity was this? Severus was incensed! He had risked his life over and over again to keep Lily's son alive, only to find out that he had been raised like a pig for slaughter! He felt used and betrayed, like a knife had just been thrust into his back.

"But this is touching, Severus," said Dumbledore seriously. "Have you grown to care for the boy, after all?"

"For him?" shouted Severus. "Expecto Patronum!"

From the tip of his wand burst the silver doe: she landed on the office floor, bounded once across the office, and soared out of the window. Dumbledore watched her fly away, and as her silvery glow faded he turned back to Snape, and his eyes were full of tears.

"After all this time?"

"Always," said Severus.

"But what about Sienna? She loves you...even now, after all you put her through this year."

"As I have told you before, that is her problem."

"But you love her too, Severus. I KNOW IT!" Dumbledore sounded desperate, as if he were pleading for himself.

"I don't know HOW I feel about her – All I know is that if it weren't for Lily, I wouldn't have given her a second look!"

"That's NOT TRUE!" Dumbledore was genuinely angry now. "How can you say that?"

Severus hesitated. After being kept in the dark by Dumbledore about so many things, he wasn't sure he wanted to share this next bit of information. "Lily haunts my dreams at night..." He stared deep into Dumbledore's eyes "...since just after her death. The dreams are all that have kept me going."

Dumbledore shook his head slowly and wiped his eyes. "I had no idea." There was a pause. "But what does that have to do with Sienna?"

"Lily saw how lonely I was... how bitter I had become. She wanted so much for me to find happiness again."

"A true sign of unconditional love."

"Remember Sienna's vision?"

"Yes," nodded Dumbledore as he dabbed away the last of his tears with the lacy hanky he kept in a side pocket.

"Lily told me she planted that vision in Sienna's mind so she would take an interest in me when she came here. Then she encouraged me to open my heart to Sienna, to let her in."

Severus stopped and stared out the window at the spot where the doe had disappeared. Several moments passed before he continued.

"It doesn't matter how I feel about Sienna now, anyway. She'll hate me after I kill you!" He turned and glared at Dumbledore with intense resentment.

"So you care nothing for her? You were just trying to please your dream version of Lily?" Dumbledore's voice carried its own share of resentment.

"I didn't say that," Severus said softly. "I care for her..." Then he stiffened with determination. "But I have ALWAYS loved Lily, and I ALWAYS WILL!"

"No one is expecting you to stop loving Lily," Dumbledore explained patiently. "But there's no reason you should have to go to your grave a bitter, lonely old man." He put his good hand on Severus' shoulder. "Lily wouldn't want that."

Severus remained silent, but his face was bathed in the pain of old and new memories and thoughts of the nightmarish times yet to come.

"Promise me something, Severus."

"What?" Severus peered at him suspiciously, his eyes narrowed.

"Promise me that you'll find Sienna when things calm down."

Severus looked skeptical. "And do what?" he snorted.

"That's between you and her," he finally smiled, with a twinkle in his eyes. "I'm sure you'll come up with something."

Severus raised an eyebrow. He could feel Dumbledore reaching into his soul, tugging on an affirmative answer. "Oh, alright, but I can't guarantee what will happen once I find her."

*****

Three days after Severus' clandestine meeting with Dumbledore, Ron Weasley was almost poisoned to death inadvertently by Professor Slughorn. It was Ron's birthday and he had offered Ron and Harry a drink from an unopened bottle of oak-matured mead that he was supposed to have given Dumbledore for Christmas, but decided instead to keep for himself. If Harry hadn't rammed a bezor down his throat, Ron would surely have died. How could the inattentive brat have managed to remember that tip from Severus' opening lecture at the start of his very first year? Severus had his suspicions about Harry's sudden brilliance in Potions class. He couldn't help but wonder what had changed to improve Harry's performance so drastically. But after this incident with Ron, he had too many other things to worry about to investigate further.

So now everyone in the castle was on edge again. Security was tighter than ever. People wondered who on earth would have wanted to kill Ron or Slughorn, but Severus and Dumbledore knew who the bottle was really meant for.

As the weeks turned into months and Severus could get no more information out of Draco, he became more and more irritable. He basically ignored Sienna in class. He handed her papers back with the real grade at the top and didn't even look at her most of the time. He was possessed with the upcoming task and how to possibly change the outcome.

But by the end of May, Severus could see a definite change for the worse in Dumbledore's health. Even after tweaking the potion, it seemed to make no difference. The cursed ring was taking its toll.

One night he received a note: a request for his presence in Dumbledore's private quarters. As he hurried through the corridors, he felt his stomach tighten. Was Dumbledore dying? Would he be too late?

"Toffee éclairs," Severus called out as he approached, and the gargoyle leapt aside. He bounded up the spiral staircase, bolted across the office, and opened the private door.

"Headmaster!" he called out hopefully.

"In here," came a weak voice from the bedroom.

Severus ran to Dumbledore's side, his cloak billowing behind him. Dumbledore lay in bed under a thick layer of blankets, but he was still shivering. Severus removed his cloak and placed it over Dumbledore. He looked down at the old man, pale and gaunt, with a gray tinge to his skin. The sparkle had gone out of his eyes. Severus had never seen him so ill.

"You look terrible."

"Thanks for the encouragement."

"You need more than my current potion can offer you."

"No kidding," Dumbledore tried to force a chuckle, but it sounded more like a groan. "Severus, I know I should be asking Horace for this, but I don't want him to know what's going on. I'm sure you understand."

"Certainly, sir. I will be happy to do it for you. I'll come up with something. Where does it hurt?"

"Everywhere."

Severus had a feeling that Dumbledore wasn't kidding. He turned on his heel to head back to his office. He would have to do some research overnight. He had kept his private stores to himself and moved all of the rare ingredients that he had collected over the years into his quarters. Hopefully, he would have everything he needed without having to bother Slughorn for anything extra.

"Severus," Dumbledore added.

Severus stopped in his tracks and turned slowly. There was a desperate tone to Dumbledore's voice. Severus already knew he wasn't going to like what the old man was about to say.

"I am obviously running out of time. I need this as fast as possible. I must run an important and possibly dangerous errand as soon as you can get me back on my feet.

"Sir, you're in no condition..."

"Harry Potter will accompany me."

"What?!" Severus felt betrayed. "Potter is reckless and foolish," he informed his sick friend. "He almost killed Draco last month with a curse that he had never tried and didn't even know what it would do. If I hadn't been close by, Draco would have bled to death!"

"I am aware of the incident, Severus. Harry would never have used it if..."

"Perhaps I should go with you," Severus insisted.

"No," stated Dumbledore emphatically. "He needs to see what he will be up against. He won't have me to guide him much longer. He needs the experience."

"In your present condition, you could both be killed." Severus became both agitated and alarmed. Potter was still just a young and impulsive boy. This had disaster written all over it.

"Well, if I end up dead, you and Draco are both off the hook!"

"Headmaster--"

"Severus, Harry needs to come with me."

"I don't like it, sir."

"Just find me a potion to get me through the next few days, please," Dumbledore implored him.

Severus nodded reluctantly. He knew there was no further use in arguing. "I'll bring it as soon as I have something." Severus began to turn when Dumbledore spoke again.

"Ask Sienna to help you."

Severus whipped back around, this time glaring.

"She was just here before you were. She knows, Severus. I told her everything."

"You what?" he whispered in horror-stricken disbelief.

"I didn't want her to think you had turned on me, and I fear you will have no time to explain yourself when the deed is done. But don't worry," Dumbledore added hastily, "I made her promise not to tell anyone, and not to interfere, before I divulged our secret."

"How did she react?" asked Severus, still in shock from this new development.

"She was upset, of course, but she knows how sick I have actually become. She has been using her hands-on healing technique on me since she got back last fall. She would work on me during our weekly meetings. Here lately I have needed her help every few days. Your potion has kept me alive; her healing powers have kept my misery to a minimum. It has taken both of your efforts to keep me going this year. She never asked me what caused my hand to blacken, or why I was suddenly so sick. She just wanted to help in any way she could. She couldn't dispute my worsening condition, so she could see the logic in our little plan, and she offered to help both of us if there was anything she could do."

"She needs to stay out of it – that's how she can help. I have enough to worry about without her on top of everything."

"Call it the foolish desire of a dying old man. I wanted to gaze into those beautiful serene eyes and receive one more of her warm wonderful hugs..."

Severus thought he saw a hint of the old sparkle in Dumbledore's eyes for just a brief moment. But it was soon gone. Of course Dumbledore loved her. He just hadn't thought of that before now. He was so wrapped up in his own emotions he didn't have the energy to consider anyone else's at the time.

"She can help you find the right potion, Severus. I know it."

They stared at each other for a moment. Why was Dumbledore always right? Severus nodded curtly. "I'll send for her. We'll work through the night."

"Thank you, my old friend. I would be lost without you."

And what will I do without you? wondered Severus to himself as he turned and weaved his way back through Dumbledore's office and down the stairs to the corridor. I will surely be lost.

Severus headed towards Gryffindor Tower. At this hour, however, he found no one who could deliver a message to Sienna. He stood in front of the Fat Lady's snoring portrait, but knew that waking her and trying to persuade her to let him in was a complete waste of time and energy. He didn't have a moment to lose, so he did the only thing he knew for sure would work. He took out his wand and summoned his Patronus. The beautiful silver doe of light emanated from the tip of his wand and began to circle the corridor.

"Go find Sienna. Tell her I need to see her in my office straight away. Tell her to bring her potions book and anything else that might help the situation. Speak only to Sienna. Tell her it's an emergency. Go!" With that last word, the doe did not go through the stone wall into Gryffindor common room. Instead, she headed in the other direction, towards the library. Severus thought this odd, but headed back to his office, trusting that his Patronus would find her. He missed his cloak, but he knew Dumbledore needed it more than he did right now. A penetrating chill went down his spine as he realized that he would soon be losing his best friend forever.

Before he reached his office, he could hear footsteps in the distance. Someone was coming. Just before he rounded the last corner, he glanced behind him and there was Sienna, running to catch up as she juggled an armload of books.

"Where were you?" Severus was understandably curious.

"Professor Dumbledore gave me a blanket pass to anywhere in the school, including the Restricted Section of the library. He divulged the charm that would unlock the door."

"Professor Dumbledore sent you to the Library?"

"He knew you would need help and he asked me to start researching possible ingredients."

Severus pursed his lips. He felt a little annoyed that Dumbledore insisted on her help, since he knew that he could have done it alone. He surmised that this was Dumbledore's way of playing matchmaker one last time.

He opened the office door and they hurried inside. She plopped the large cumbersome books on a desk near the front of the room and began to move towards him. With a wave of his wand, he lit the candles and oil lamps to their full brightness. With all of his gruesome decorations in plain view, he had hoped that the thought of romance would evaporate from her mind. But the bright light also revealed that she had been crying. Her eyes were puffy and red. Dumbledore's revelation had obviously hit her hard. As much as he also felt like crying right now, he knew that they didn't have the time to waste – not even on a short hug. Dumbledore's life was hanging in the balance. As she made her way around the desk, he abruptly help up his hand and splayed his fingers.

"Stop!" he said with determination. "I know this situation is difficult for you... for myself as well," he added softly, "but now is not the time to wallow in our emotions."

Severus noticed a wave of sorrowful disappointment wash over her face, but in a flash it was replaced by a businesslike exterior.

"Yes, sir. Where do we start?"

They worked tirelessly throughout the night, searching through books and making test potions. Sienna was sent to wake up Hagrid for creatures to try them on. He was a bit disappointed that she could not divulge why she needed the test animals, but she still had her blanket permission slip from Dumbledore that included instructions for any teacher to cooperate with her without question. So he rounded up a few ferrets for her to experiment on.

Two more trips to the Restricted Section of the library and three dead ferrets later, they had finally managed to come up with a potion that held promise. It would be daylight soon and people would be waking up, so there was no time to lose.

"I'll take this to the Headmaster. You return the books and get back to Gryffindor Tower."

"Yes, sir." She began to gather the books.

"Remember – no one is to know about what we did here tonight."

"Yes, sir. Good luck." She turned to leave.

"Sienna," Severus finally realized that although he could have managed without her, her help saved him at least three hours of time, which could very well have meant the difference between life and death for Dumbledore. And she did have a few fresh ideas to throw in. "Thank you for your help," he said softly.

Sienna's bottom lip began to quiver. Tears started to well up in her eyes. She simply nodded at him. Could she feel his heartache in this horrible situation? He was sure the answer was yes. But he knew she must have her own heartache to deal with, since he knew that her feelings for Dumbledore ran deep. He watched her disappear out the door in silence. Then Severus snapped back to the task at hand. He ladled the bubbling potion into the large ceramic pitcher, grabbed a mug, and followed Sienna out the door.

After the potion had worked its magic on Dumbledore, he felt good enough to eat lunch in the Great Hall, where he returned Severus' cloak to him. By dinner, he almost seemed like his old self. As he and Severus were leaving the room, Sienna came up beside them, smiling from ear to ear. Severus was glad to see her change of mood.

"You're looking quite handsome this evening, sir," Sienna beamed at Dumbledore.

"Thank you, my dear. And I hear you had quite a bit to do with it!" Dumbledore shot a quick glance towards Severus.

"I only did the footwork, sir. Professor Snape was the genius behind the recipe."

Severus gave her a little nod. "I could not have done it without you."

"Well," Dumbledore exclaimed, his eyes twinkling, "it's wonderful to see the two of you back on good terms. I was tired of being caught in the middle.

"You know, Severus, I feel so good, I believe that later, I may run up to Rosemerta's for a drink!"

"Oh, really?" Severus knew that that was Dumbledore's way of saying that he would take his dangerous little side trip with Potter tonight. Somehow, Sienna figured it out as well, because the beaming switched off like a light. He could almost see her heart breaking along with his own.

Sienna suddenly threw her arms around Professor Dumbledore's neck and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around her as well. Severus was a bit taken aback by this public display of affection. A few of the other students and teachers appeared to have a similar reaction, but no one made any comments as they passed by.

Sienna whispered something in Dumbledore's ear and kissed his cheek. He nodded, and then his lips gently touched hers and lingered there for just a moment. "I love you, too," he replied softly.

Severus could see tears running down her face. She wiped them away quickly, then turned and disappeared into the crowd of people who were exiting the Great Hall. Somehow, Severus knew that would be the last time Sienna would ever see Dumbledore alive.

Dumbledore turned to Severus as they looked into each other's eyes for a moment. The sentiment was there, but Severus just couldn't find the right words to express it. He had never been very good at outwardly showing love. But that was exactly what he felt for Dumbledore. Love, admiration, friendship, gratitude... How could he ever bring himself to kill the man who stood before him?

As usual, Dumbledore's penetrating stare seemed to read Severus' mind, and he spoke: "Don't worry, when the time comes, you'll realize that there is no other way... that you are doing me a favor." He gently placed his left hand on Severus' right shoulder and patted him softly. Severus tried to smile, but a look of pain spread across his face instead.

They finally turned away from each other in silence, each taking the path he knew destiny had carved out for him.

To Severus' surprise, Sienna was sitting in the hallway outside of his office door. He had very mixed feelings when he saw her because they both knew what was coming later. He needed to be alone to gather his thoughts, to steel himself for what he would have to do. He wasn't sure if the distraction of her presence was such a good idea. It must have come across to her because her look turned from hope to worry as he approached.

"I really don't think you should be here right now," Severus informed her matter-of-factly.

"May I please just have few moments of your time, sir?"

"Very well," he said with impatience. "Come in." They both entered. With a wave of his wand the door closed and locked. With a wave of her wand, a Muffliato spell was cast on it.

"Make this quick," he pursed his lips and glared at her.

"I just wanted to see you again before... Well, I imagine you'll be leaving in a hurry. It may be a very long time before we see each other again."

"If ever," he added coldly. "If you are simply here to say 'good bye,' then be done with it and get out. I really need to be alone right now." His heart was hardening. He knew that for the Avada Kedavra curse to work, his heart had to be filled with hate. He was trying to psych himself up, and the last thing he needed was to get all mushy.

"How will I know where to find you?"

Severus stared at Sienna in disbelief. "Find me?" He became irate. "You need to distance yourself from me. You know what I am about to do. You must completely disassociate yourself from me. You should never have had any knowledge of this whole thing in the first place. I can't believe that Professor Dumbledore told you."

"He knows I love you," she said quietly. "He wanted me to know the truth so you wouldn't be left without a friend in the world."

Severus became even more agitated. "I have enough to worry about without you adding to it!" The anger rose in his voice. "Can't you see what I'm going through here? I have to murder my best friend and leave behind forever the only real home I've ever known. I thought you could tell what I was feeling."

"I can tell – in fact," she added with desperation, "your feelings are so strong, I can't distance myself from them. I'm living your horror, your sadness, your resentment... your self-loathing."

Severus turned from her with that last line and walked over to the bookshelf. It was true. He already hated himself for what he was about to do. But he also knew that he needed that hate to make the curse work.

"And," Sienna added, "I have my own feelings piled on top of yours."

Severus turned back to her, glaring with contempt. "Oh please! What could possibly be hurting you?"

"Don't be so selfish or quick to judge, Severus," she glared back. "Do you think it's easy for me to sit back and do nothing?"

Severus dropped his gaze. He was being selfish. He had not considered her feelings at all in this.

"I have to sit idly by and watch while the man I love murders someone who has been more than a father to me and then runs off to live with the Death Eaters. And I've sworn an oath not to interfere. You think that doesn't hurt? You think I feel no pain here?" Her bottom lip began to quiver, and tears began to trickle down her cheek again, but this time out of anger.

Severus softened. He took a deep breath and let out a sigh. There was a long silence. Finally, he looked into her eyes and spoke softly. "I promised Dumbledore that when things calmed down I would find you."

Sienna's anger began to subside. "Find me?" She raised her eyebrows out of hope.

"If I don't end up dead or in Azkaban."

"Oh, Severus." She looked at him from across the desk. He could tell she was aching for his arms to hold her. But he needed to feel angry now, not affectionate. He still felt that the timing of this visit was dreadful.

"But war has a way of changing people," he warned her cautiously, "and not usually for the better." He paused for a moment, letting her absorb his words. "You may not want anything to do with me by the end of all this."

"That's not true," she began to move around the desk.

Severus held up his hand, shaking his head. "Please keep your distance..."

Sienna's face became a sorrowful puzzle.

"I really need to be alone. I would prefer that you just leave."

She stared at him in disbelief. But he stood his ground and did not soften this time. He convinced himself it was easier this way. He would probably never see her again, and even if he did, how could she possibly still love him, with all that he knew he would have to do just to survive this war?

"All right, I'll go. But before I do, I just want to say..." as if Sienna could read his thoughts as well as his emotions, she put his fears to rest, "...that no matter what you choose to do, I will always love you, and I will always be your friend."

Severus could see the sincerity in her eyes. She meant every word of it. "Don't expect anything," he said softly, "but if I ever need to contact you, I'll send my patronus, like I did last night."

"All right." A hint of a smile surfaced on her face. "Be safe," she whispered, and without another word, she disappeared out the door.

Finally, Severus was alone. He had plenty of papers to grade, but he really didn't see the point. He knew that Draco's mood had definitely lifted, which meant that he had accomplished his goal – whatever that was. And all he needed was a castle without Dumbledore to execute his secret plan. So it would almost certainly happen tonight. What could Draco be up to? Well, he couldn't kill Dumbledore if Dumbledore wasn't here, but he could set the wheels in motion. Even if Draco did nothing, Severus had to be ready for anything. He couldn't even guess what shape Dumbledore would be in when he and Potter returned later, if they made it back at all.

He could only wait. It was maddening. And he knew that if circumstances forced the issue, he would have to kill Dumbledore. Once again, his logical mind brought him back to the realization that in order for the Avada Kedavra curse to work, he had to build up an immense amount of hatred and resentment. But did it have to be for Dumbledore, or could it be for himself? He could just channel all of that negative energy into the curse. He could easily muster up enough self loathing to kill someone. Perhaps that was the answer.

He began to take his memory back to Lily – how his foolish desire to score brownie points with the Dark Lord had cost her her life. He had tried to stop it. He had turned spy for Dumbledore as soon as he found out that Lily and James were the targets. But it didn't help in the end. He felt so guilty about her death that he had contemplated taking his own life. But Dumbledore convinced him that the best way to serve penance was to continue to spy for the Order, to not let his life be wasted. So he clandestinely helped bring other Death Eaters to justice, and then faded into the Hogwarts landscape after the war was over.

He had been content to live out his life in lonely misery until the Dark Lord had risen again two years ago. Now the nightmare was replaying itself, but Dumbledore's life – and perhaps even Sienna's life – were both at stake. How could he let this happen? How could he have let down the only two people in the world who believed in him? How could he live with himself?

Severus had worked himself into a terrible state of depression. This wasn't good, either. He had to keep his wits about him. There had to be a balance that he could find and hold onto.

He decided to grade essays. Yes, that would clear his mind. He could find perverse pleasure in putting Ds and Ts on the tops of all but the very best ones. That way he would leave Hogwarts knowing everyone hated him and was glad to see him gone. He figured that most of them would wish him dead – or worse. He could live with that. But could he live with himself after killing Dumbledore? That was the big question. Would the right side win in the end? Or would Dumbledore's sacrifice be in vain? Only time would tell.

As the clock on the wall slowly marched past the minutes, Severus graded essays, probably, he assumed, for the very last time.

Several hours inched by before he was disturbed by a frantic Professor Flitwick who burst into his office, rambling on about Death Eaters up on the Astronomy Tower and needing Severus' help. Severus knew immediately that this was it. He didn't want anyone to get hurt or killed, so he figured the more people out of harm's way the better, and he hit Flitwick with a heavy jinx that knocked him out cold, then ran out the door.

To Severus' surprise, Hermione Granger and Luna Lovegood were standing in the hallway outside his office. So he sent them in to attend to Flitwick – Good, two more out of harm's way. He ran up the stairs in the direction of the Astronomy Tower, wand at the ready, his black robes billowing behind him. He could hear the commotion ahead, and as he approached, the dark scene was illuminated by flashes from wands giving off curses. He thought he saw Neville on the floor, but he was still groaning and moving. Alive, but out of commission. Good. He caught a glimpse of Gibbon, a Death Eater, sprawled out, his eyes wide with fear, but dead as a door nail. Must have gotten hit by a stray Killing Curse. Another flash – that looks like a Weasley down. Too big to be Ron. His hair is long and in a pony tail, but he's still moving Good. Another jinx flashed by, this time from a huge blond Death Eater. Severus avoided it easily, but whirled around to see Ginny Weasley duck just in time.

The big blond seemed to be guarding the staircase. Severus ran past him and bounded up the stairs two at a time. He burst through the door to the tower roof and hastily surveyed the scene. There was Dumbledore, slumped against the wall. Their eyes met for a brief moment. Legilimens, he thought. A snapshot of Potter force-feeding Dumbledore a potion from a basin came into view. Immediately, Severus knew that whatever it was had stolen all but the last few hours of Dumbledore's life. He had to act quickly. There were two brooms in the corner but he had not seen Potter down below. Potter would never shrink from a fight. He was still here, probably under the Invisibility Cloak and disabled somehow. Dumbledore must have stupefied him before the others got there. In order for it to be convincing, Potter had to see the whole thing and hate him for it. Severus glanced quickly at Malfoy and the other Death Eaters. Yes, they all had to believe it. Dumbledore would be dead in a matter of hours anyway...

"We've got a problem, Snape," said Amycus, one of the Death Eaters, "the boy doesn't seem able--"

Then Severus heard another voice, softer, kinder, gentler. "Severus..."

It was time. Severus could avoid his destiny no longer. All the anger and self loathing for what he was about to do, combined with contempt and animosity – for Dumbledore himself, for letting it come to this, sent the adrenalin coursing through his veins. He walked forward with heavy anger etched across his face. He pushed Draco roughly out of the way, since he was, after all, part of the problem. Severus' eyes met Dumbledore's again, but this time Severus saw the inferi floating just below the surface of the water. Then it skipped to Potter dipping the cup into the lake and bringing the inferi to life. Was this a warning from Dumbledore that Voldemort had an army of inferi at the ready? The thought sent a wave of horrible revulsion across his face. Then suddenly, the scene changed again. Dumbledore was struggling, begging...

The real Dumbledore interrupted his own memory, "Severus... please..." Severus knew he must have been in unimaginable pain.

The memory continued to play itself out. "KILL ME!" Severus saw Dumbledore wail to Harry.

Severus did the only thing he could do under the circumstances – the only logical thing – just as Dumbledore had planned it. Inside, Severus' heart was screaming in an agony that grotesquely manifested on his face. He raised his wand and pointed it directly at Dumbledore.

"Avada Kedavra!"

A jet of green light shot from the end of Severus' wand and hit Dumbledore squarely in the chest. Severus felt his heart rip apart as he watched Dumbledore blast up into the air. He held him there for a moment. He couldn't bear the thought of Dumbledore's lifeless body crashing down on the hard stone. But to show too much respect would throw suspicion on him, even though the deed was now done. So with a silent Levicorpus, he lifted up Dumbledore's body, over the ramparts and gently sent it towards the ground below.

As hard as it was to maintain his composure, Severus knew he had to act quickly if he was going to get himself and Draco out alive. He pushed his emotions deep into the recesses of his heart and let his logical mind take over. Dumbledore was dead – he couldn't let such a huge sacrifice be wasted.

"Out of here, quickly," said Severus, grabbing Draco by the scruff of the neck. He pushed him through the door as the others followed behind them.

Severus and Malfoy bounded down the staircase and into the fray. The students and Order Members ceased fire, just as Severus knew they would, giving him and Draco a chance to get away unscathed. They had no idea what he had just done; they thought he was trying to escape the Death Eaters. They picked their way through the rubble that used to be the ceiling and made it to the other end of the corridor, but as soon as they were clear, the fighting resumed. Amycus, his sister, and Greyback joined the huge blond engaging the Order and the handful of brave students who had joined them. Severus was still unsure as to Potter's whereabouts. He didn't want him to get hurt, or anyone else for that matter.

"It's over, time to go!" Severus shouted over the din as he and Draco were about to disappear around the corner. They bolted down a secret passage. Severus remembered to avoid the vanishing step in the concealed staircase, but Draco was unfamiliar with this particular short cut. He stumbled, shouting in pain as the step cut into his leg.

"Come on!" Severus grabbed his arm and pulled him up roughly. "You alright?"

"I'll live," Draco tried not to whine.

"Not if we don't get out of here!" Severus said, with more than just a touch of urgency in his voice. They continued down the staircase and threw aside the tapestry that hid the bottom entrance.

Several sleepy Hufflepuffs had just begun to trickle into the corridor from their dormitory. "Get back to bed – all of you!" Severus shouted, hoping they would return to safety.

This entire event had taken way too much time and woke up most of the school. The sooner he led the Death Eaters out of here, the less likely anyone else would get hurt. And Fenrir Greyback – of all people – here at Hogwarts! How could Draco do such a thing? He put his own friends in danger with this stunt. If any one of the students ended up dead... Severus just couldn't bear to think about it, not right now.

He blasted open the huge oak front doors. Draco slipped and fell on the leg he had cut open earlier, smearing blood on the flagstones. Severus grabbed his arm again and dragged him down the remaining steps. He heard the huge blond Death Eater take a potshot at an objecting student. He missed, but the Gryffindor hourglass in the Entrance Hall shattered, rubies cascading all over the floor.

"Come ON!" Severus shouted at both Draco and the blond. He was still worried about Potter. He still had not seen him. Was he alright? Had he been hurt? It didn't seem so from Dumbledore's memory.

Hagrid suddenly emerged from his cabin and began to pursue the big blond Death Eater. As their flying curses lit up the night, Severus wasn't worried for Hagrid's safety. He knew that the half giant's thick skin and huge size would protect him from almost anything. They would make a good diversion as he and Draco made their way towards the gate and safety.

Then suddenly, a flash of red light soared past Severus' head. "Run Draco!" he shouted and turned to face the unknown assailant. It was Potter! Well, at least he knew where he was and that he had made it through the night's events relatively unscathed. They stared at each other for a moment, hatred intensely etched across Potter's angry, contorted face.

Legilimens, Severus thought to himself. He immediately saw Dumbledore's murder on the Astronomy Tower. Potter had seen everything. No wonder.

This wasn't going to be easy for Severus. It had always been a love/hate relationship for him. He loved Harry because he was Lily's son. But he hated the way the boy reminded him so much of James – his looks, his mannerisms, his arrogance, his foolish disregard for the rules, and tonight especially, his recklessness. He imagined that tonight's events, more than anything Severus had ever done, put an end to any hope of ever forging a friendship with the boy. Well, if he was going to lose him forever, he may as well make the best of it.

They raised their wands simultaneously.

"Cruc..."

Severus saw it coming, of course. He parried it away, hitting Harry in the chest with a light stunner, knocking him off his feet. He knew that in order to escape, he would have to put Potter out of commission, hopefully without really hurting him.

"Incendio!"

Severus looked over his shoulder to see an explosion over Hagrid's cabin. His first instinct was to run help put out the fire – make sure Hagrid was unharmed. But that was impossible now.

"Fang's in there, yer evil--!" Hagrid bellowed.

"Cruc--" yelled Potter for the second time. Severus was beginning to tire of this. He had to get out of there.

"No Unforgivable Curses for you, Potter!" yelled Severus over the din of the fire and the yelping dog, as he blocked the curse. "You haven't got the nerve or the ability..."

"Incarc..." Potter roared, but Severus deflected the spell again. Potter had never mastered the art of nonverbal spells. He was about to get a quick lesson on their importance.

"Fight back!" Potter screamed at him. "Fight back, you cowardly..."

He had sounded and looked so much like James with that last remark that Severus couldn't just let it pass. "Coward, did you call me, Potter?" he shouted. "Your father would never attack me unless it was four on one, what would you call him, I wonder?"

"Stupe..."

When would Potter learn? He would never stand a chance against the Death Eaters, much less the Dark Lord himself, by shouting spells aloud. With a simple flick of his wand, it was deflected.

"Blocked again and again and again, until you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Potter!"

Severus quickly surveyed the scene. He had to get that huge blond off the grounds before he did any more damage. "Now come!" he shouted at the blond. "It is time to be gone, before the Ministry turns up..."

"Impedi..."

Severus had moved to block the spell, but suddenly realized that Potter never completed it. He was writhing on the ground, screaming in pain. Alecto had hit him from behind with the Cruciatus Curse. "No!" roared Severus, almost in a panic. This was getting way out of hand. "Have you forgotten our orders? Potter belongs to the Dark Lord..." He knew that to bring Harry alive and kicking with them would have probably pleased Voldemort, but Severus needed an excuse to leave him behind, and the way Voldemort had given the order, it could have been interpreted two ways. "...we are to leave him! Go! Go!"

Finally, Severus watched with relief as the brother, sister and huge blond Death Eater ran towards the front gate. He heard Potter howl with rage and turned yet again to face him.

"Sectum...!"

Severus flicked his wand and the curse was repelled yet again. The curse that had almost killed Draco... The curse that he, himself had invented so long ago. How dare this boy use his own inventions against him – just like James. He was about to return to Lord Voldemort permanently – to lay his life on the line in the hopes that Potter could somehow find a way to destroy the Dark Lord, a cause that Dumbledore had given his life for just moments ago. His contempt for Potter grew to enormous proportions. He glared as the hatred on Potter's face mirrored his own. He could see the wheels turning in his little mind.

"No, Potter!" screamed Severus. He blasted the boy with another stunner, this time combined with an Expelliarmus charm that sent his wand flying as he hit the ground. Severus thought of James as he approached Harry. How so many times James and his marauding friends had put him in the very position that Harry was now in, flat on his back, wandless and defenseless. All thoughts of Lily had evaporated from his mind. All he could see was James. All he could feel was hatred and resentment. If it wasn't for James, none of this would be happening. If it wasn't for James, Lily would probably still be alive, and Harry might have been his son.

"You dare use my own spells against me, Potter? It was I who invented them – I, the Half-Blood Prince! And you'd turn my inventions on me, like your filthy father, would you? I don't think so..."

Harry had dived for his wand.

"No!" Severus shot a hex at it and it flew out of sight into the darkness. Now at last, he could finally get out of here. He began to turn on his heel.

"Kill me then," panted Harry. Severus turned again to face him, even more malice etched across his face. Kill him? He was about to enter the depths of Hell for him. Potter had no idea – no appreciation for his sacrifice – for all the things he had already done.

"Kill me like you killed him, you coward..."

Something in Severus finally snapped. Hadn't Dumbledore told him that he, Severus, was the only person he could trust to do it? Hadn't he, Severus, subjected himself over and over to the Dark Lord's scrutiny, his mind probes, his wrath? Hadn't he faced death every time he was called back? And all for the Order of the Phoenix, to avenge Lily's death, to keep Harry Potter alive? Yes. And this last insult – after all the pressure of the last few months – as well as what was surely to come – was just more than he could bear.

"DON'T..." he heard himself scream as all the bottled-up emotions from the entire year came gushing to the surface ..."CALL ME COWARD!" His intense pain and anger manifested in a spell that sent a white-hot whip through the air. It hit Potter in the face and slammed him backwards into the ground. But with the release of all that negative energy, Severus regained his wits. He had to get out of there before he completely lost his temper and did any real damage to the boy.

Just then an enormous figure blocked out the stars above Severus as it let out an unearthly screech. It was coming towards him, talons outstretched. Buckbeak! Severus turned and ran for his life. After everything that had happened to Hagrid that night, he didn't have the heart to kill Buckbeak. There had been enough killing.

But Buckbeak was relentless. Severus fired off a stunner over his shoulder. He missed, but it sent the hippogryff off course enough to give him the few extra seconds he needed to make it through the front gate and Disapparate.