Fifth Posting

or

A Series of Extracts Belonging to the Epistolary Courtship of Hermione Granger and Severus Snape, with Suitable Additions of Edifying Thoughts and Actions

by Severus Snape and Hermione Granger

edited by Lm. Samiko ^_~

Fourth Posting

Severus-

    Thank you for the warning. It was not, perhaps, strictly necessary, as I am more than capable of dealing with those two twits with my eyes closed and my wand five feet away. Still, the preparation allowed me to be particularly creative in the manner with which I dealt with your two 'friends.' And I was able to keep my current project in order, which enabled me to keep my temper. I assume that, having made it up with them (though I cannot for the life of me understand why), you wished them to be returned in one piece? However, do attempt to break them of these violent impulses in the future. I should hate to have to be the one to deliver them back to you after a less restrained encounter. And remind them - as often as necessary, since I doubt my own assertions will have much effect, if any - that you are more than capable of repelling any number of potions, hexes, jinxes, and curses that might have been administered in order to result in our engagement. You might conceivably add that, as you are the one who began this entire affair, you are more likely to have potioned, hexed, jinxed, or cursed me to ensure this conclusion. However, I have little faith that logic, no matter how simple, will serve to convince your mentally incapacitated friends of the truth.

    With regards to the more pleasant and more tedious matter of our wedding arrangements, you have requested my opinion on the following matters, which I shall now relate to you...

[Several paragraphs omitted]

    And finally, Hermione, Minerva has proposed several alternate possibilities for us as regards the augmentation of my quarters or new quarters altogether for our use upon our return to Hogwarts. It would appear that she is somewhat at a loss as how to proceed, taking into account not only my angelic nature, but the fact that there has apparently been no married faculty at Hogwarts for the past two centuries. You will find enclosed a list of her suggestions, as well as one or two of my own.

    Thank you also for your input into the wedding plans. I agree that the matter is incredibly tedious, and as matters progress, I am wishing even more profoundly that we had simply run off to Gretna Green in the time-honoured fashion. Since you are inclined to that era of dress anyway, it would have been a simple matter for me to transfigure a period wedding gown and done the thing properly with a minimum of fuss. As it is, be grateful that you aren't the bride and subject to all sorts of female fuss from all sorts of female relatives (and acquaintances). I've been pulled in fifty different directions, subjected to innumerable shopping trips, and chattered at whilst others make my decisions for me. I have only two consolations...well, three, if I count your humble self, though at this point, you apparently count rather as a requisite accessory to the proceedings, ranking slightly higher than good music. In other words, if I really like you, that's marvellous, but we could always find a substitute in a pinch, for The Show Must Go On. Hermione must have Her Big Day. To which end, my aunt has suggested her son's friend, Milton, as best man, on the principle that the best man steps into your shoes should you decide to hie yourself to the furthest corner of Timbuktu on said day. Needless to say, I declined. My own opinions of Milton aside, if you do not show up for the wedding, I shall track you down to the furthest corner of Timbuktu and personally disengage certain portions of your anatomy from your body. I hope that is quite clear.

    Speaking of escape, I haven't had much time to consider matters thoroughly--certainly not to draw up a useful chart to organise my thoughts properly--but it seems to me that whatever quarters we use should continue to open out into the dungeons. I certainly do not want to be any more accessible than I imagine you do to Hogwarts' denizens, not for the time being, at any rate. Whether we augment your quarters or find new ones altogether... I rather think that depends on you. I shall certainly require my own space--the gods know we have our moments--but I know you need yours as well. I have no intention of making our home the 'woman's domain' and forcing you to go elsewhere to be comfortable. I've been to Ginny's and Lavender's and Parvati's homes. And it's obvious that their husbands are never at ease in the frilled, furbelowed, fanatical neatness. They head for the hills (the backyard or the pub or who knows) as soon as they possibly can. Not because they don't love their wives, but because they can't relax anywhere within the confines of the four walls. I am determined that sha'n't be the case with us. Wherever we live, it is our home, not yours, not mine.

    I know I'm pontificating, but the end of it is this: do you want a familiar environment or an entirely new one? I can certainly work with either decision. Also... I wanted to ask you about our sleeping arrangements. In the Muggle world, it is currently the done thing to share bed and room. I know that in the Wizard community, separate bedrooms are preferred. I'm not sure which I'd choose. While more attuned to the idea of a shared room, I can again see the benefits of having our own spaces. Please give me your opinion on the matter; I promise not to read too much into it. You proposed, after all, so I know you like me. I'm just nervous at the thought of trying to mesh our personalities on a permanent basis. You never really know how it's going to turn out in five or ten or twenty years, do you?

    Please don't take me too seriously right now. I'm just having pre-wedding jitters. I love you and I want to marry you and nothing my overtaxed brain comes up with can compete with that. So please don't worry about it. I'll say it any number of times, if you like. I love you. I love you. I love you.

    You begin to make me glad that I have no family to speak of. Certainly, having Molly Weasley in my vicinity is sufficiently horrifying; I can't begin to imagine the effects of more than one 'concerned' female nattering at me. I might be tempted to reinstate my Evil Git status. (As opposed to my mere 'Git' status, which I now hold postbellum.) I am exceedingly grateful I have found a woman who does not natter. Nag, yes. (Try to) bully, occasionally. Those I am capable of dealing with. But you do not natter, for which I give many thanks.

    I am also thankful that your relatives (not to mention the née Patils, Brown, and Weasley) do not have full control over the wedding. The hoops that we shall have to jump through are bad enough. I trust you to keep it simple. And yes, I do remember that I must go and have my robes fitted tomorrow, and I will honour the engagement. I do not 'forget' my engagements, unless it serves my purpose so to do. Having ill-fitting formal robes does not.

    I am... pleased that you consider our home-to-be ours, not yours, not mine, nor belonging to any dictates of fashion. Not that I expected any less, knowing you, but still, I am pleased. To that end, I have indicated to Minerva that we require an entirely different suite of rooms; it would be most unfair, I believe, to make you give up your space whilst I can remain comfortably in mine. Mind, I fully intend to keep my private laboratory; I need familiarity to work well and even the thought of attempting to shift all of my equipment and materials makes me shudder. In any case, I have spent some little time scouting various corners of the castle with Minerva and have created a short list of possibilities. It is, of course, impossible to describe any of them within the confines of a letter, and I have no wish to engage in such foolish spellcasting; perhaps you have some time when you can escape the harpies plaguing you and take a look for yourself? An alternative is, I believe, to visit the Room of Requirement together to request a recommendation. It is rather in the way of drawing lots, my dear, but the information might be useful in making our final decision.

    As to the second issue you mentioned, I admit to being uncertain as to how to reply. I am, certainly, more accustomed to the idea of separate bedrooms, but I admit that, to date, I have not been averse to sharing our spaces when we have had occasion to do so. Still, it is difficult to base a decision on the impression of a night or two at a time. We are both very solitary people when all is said and done. I must say, however, that I refuse to share any sleeping quarters I occupy with your hell-cat. Further than that, I imagine we shall have to discuss in person, most likely in conjunction with our search for proper space within the castle.

    It's almost impossible to put pen to paper right now; it is even harder to try to wring some coherency out of my brain. It is the night before our wedding, dearest Severus, and though I know this is the most right decision of my life, I can't seem to control these nerves and jitters. Crookshanks could tell you that I have been pacing the floor for the past hour, muttering the Compleat Liste of Poation Herbes and Mineralls backwards and forwards. I wish it were tomorrow. I wish it were the day after tomorrow. I'd really prefer it if it were five months from now. I've no idea what I'll be like by the time you actually see me tomorrow. Perhaps in the throes of a nervous breakdown. Or medicated up to my eyeballs. My parents are dentists. I'm sure I could wheedle something out of them. I could.

Severus.

    Severus's handwriting was so shaky as to be virtually illegible.