Fourth Posting
What I Want My Words to Do to You
Chapter 4 of 6
Ladymage SamikoIn which Severus and Hermione experience some bumps in their road.
or
A Series of Extracts Belonging to the Epistolary Courtship of Hermione Granger and Severus Snape, with Suitable Additions of Edifying Thoughts and Actions
by Severus Snape and Hermione Granger
edited by Lm. Samiko ^_~
Fourth Posting
Dear Hermione,
Well, I must say, whatever it is you are doing, you should continue doing it. It would seem you were right; all Severus needed was a little socialization to perk him right up. And it probably helped that he was able to escape the students for some small period of time. Thank you ever so much! After he returned from your Halloween gathering, he seemed rather pleased and while he cannot be called cheerful at the best of times, he was actually pleasant to converse with. And now... Well, all I can say, dear, is that whatever you two were up to last Friday evening (it was a dance, was it not? In any case, I did not see Severus until the next morning, so I assume it ran in to the wee sma's), he has been seen sporting a grin for the first time in over forty years. It is, I must admit, a rather predatory grin, which looks most like a man-eating shark and which scares the First through Fifth Years into hysterics, but it is such a change for him!
Keep up the good work!
Sincerely,
Minerva.
Hermione herself was hysterical for a good twenty minutes after receiving Minerva's letter, particularly when she noticed the last set of italics. Keep it up, indeed!
My Hermione,
It has been quite some time since either of us last wrote a letter to the other; I find that, in spite of certain... benefits in seeing (and, if I am to be perfectly honest, in hearing, touching, and tasting) each other, I miss this particular style of communication--the leisurely, considered process of committing my thoughts to parchment and knowing that you have put just as much time and meaning into what you have written to me. In addition, I should like to have more specimens to put aside and look at when I am one hundred and ninety and in need of reliving my life's Great Folly. (As opposed to dwelling upon my life's Great Mistake.) I rather imagine you'll have left me for a younger wizard by that point, so I shall need everything I can lay my hands on to enable me to be properly maudlin and not simply bitter-which, as you know, I am much more inclined to.
You asked me the other day what I thought of Minerva's powers of observation. Simply put, beloved, she has none. She is Gryffindor, after all, and subtleties tend to elude you all. I believe she still thinks you are trying to 'socialize' me (completely ignoring the fact that you yourself are far from sociable) and that I am alternately finding it to my liking and despising it with a vengeance. The latter was in ascendance the other day after we had fought about the Billywig spots. But as long as it keeps her nose and spectacles out of my business, I have no great difficulty pandering to her delusions.
One might say it keeps me in practice. Speaking of which...
[Several paragraphs of a technical nature omitted.]
I must admit to being at a loss as to our next excursion. We have been to your flat. We have been to the BM and the Bodleian Archives. Cambridge, as we both know, is a next to total loss. As fascinating as it would be, having you here would be uncomfortable and counterproductive. Restaurants are dull, nightclubs abysmal, shops indescribable. The Tower, I suppose, is a possibility, if you don't mind Muggle-dodging. Any thoughts, dear one?
My own thoughts remain with you. I remain,
Yours faithfully,
Severus.
My dearest Severus,
You're being both maudlin and absurd. I insist that you cease at once. It's disturbing. I have no objection to furnishing you with further letters; in fact, I am completely delighted to do so. I myself look forward to the day when I can pull the bundles of letters from their box and read them fondly. However, I have no intention of doing so alone. Or with any other wizard at my side except you. For practical reasons, I shall refer you to some of my earlier letters, copies of which I have included with this one, not knowing whether you burnt these particular ones. Another point that I would like to make is that I chose you to last, Severus Snape. You cannot accuse me of walking into this relationship with my eyes closed to who and what you are. Nor can you accuse me of being a flighty teenage nymphet. I knew what I was doing from the start--though I couldn't be sure of where it was going--and I fully intend to see it through. So if you end up old and alone a century from now, it won't be my fault.
Particularly as you are built like a bloody Minotaur on steroids.
There. Have I pandered to your vanity enough? I suppose not; I haven't commented on your level of intelligence. Well, I will tell you now that I simply refuse to do so when you are acting like such a silly bugger.
Love a thousand times over,
Hermione.
PS - There is one place, though I hesitate to suggest it. I'll save it for when I see you, lest it colour our excursion tomorrow. In the interim, what do you say to Normandy and the Wizards' Whinge?
To my Hermione,
I said it before we went and, at the risk of being redundant, I shall say it again: you must have been insane to suggest such a thing. Correspondingly, I must have taken leave of my senses to agree to this 'excursion.' Both of us should have known better.
I suppose, however, that there is some merit to having gotten it over with. We have been physically involved for nearly a year now and corresponding for a year previous. Meeting your parents was, I suppose, the next logical step. That said, it would not have been a misstep on your part to have prepared both parties somewhat better than you did. To have your father call me... whatever it was he called me--the meaning of which was only too clear--was not something I would have willingly subjected myself to. You should be grateful that I am possessed of such self-control; I would, otherwise, have done something which all of us would have regretted--and which would probably have been permanent. I did not spend those years in the Death Eaters learning how to crochet doilies. Nor was I busy taking advantage of Muggle-born children, no matter what your father might say.
I trust we shall not engage in a similar experiment in future. I can only thank the Great Wizards that my own parents have long since shuffled off this mortal coil and are safely ensconced in Hell where they belong.
Severus.
Severus,
You cannot have the gall to blame this all on me. While I certainly don't exonerate my father--his words were entirely uncalled for--you certainly didn't help matters any with your high-and-mighty attitude. Is that something you learn specifically in Wizarding families? Do you just automatically assume that you're better than every single poor, stupid Muggle and, oh, you should be ever so grateful that I've condescended to bestow my attentions on your little Muggle-born daughter? I've never seen this side of you, Severus, not since you stopped spying; I hadn't thought it was truly a part of your character. Or, at least, I'd hoped it wasn't.
Silly me.
Hermione.
Hermione,
I will not apologise for my pride. I am not about to let some Muggle--or, indeed, some Wizard--walk all over me. Never again. Full stop. If you cannot accept this, then perhaps you should reconsider this entire enterprise.
Severus.
Severus,
It's not about letting someone walk all over you; it's about acknowledging that other people have a right to address you as equals, at least during the first five minutes of your acquaintance. Those Muggles--those people--are my parents. You owed it to all of us, including yourself, to give them a chance to prove themselves before treating them like the dirt under your feet! How does that change anything, except that now you are the one who's walking on people?
Hermione.
Hermione,
As I said before, if my attitude and personality bother you, then you are perfectly free to leave them alone.
Severus.
Severus,
You know my opinion on that matter, though I admit that at the moment I am seriously reconsidering my decision.
Hermione.
Intercastle Memorandum -- From the Desk of the Headmistress
Severus--
As I tried to ask you earlier, I would like to know if you have heard from Miss Granger recently. She has not answered my owls for several days now and I am becoming concerned. Furthermore, if you ever yell at me like that again, young man, I shall ensure that you chaperone Hogsmeade weekends for the next twenty years.
Minerva.
Minerva--
Do not waste my time with such trivialities. I have no idea where the girl has got to.
Severus.
Miss Granger--
Please have the courtesy to reply to Minerva's letters; she is beginning to bother me about it.
S. Snape.
Miss Granger--
You carry this silence too far. What the devil is the matter with you, woman?
S. Snape.
Never do that to me again, woman. Do you realize that you could have died? What were you thinking, not to contact anyone if you were ill? Or were you thinking?
Severus.
Severus--
I am sorry, really, for making you worry. But how was I to know that a little cold was actually Acromantula flu? It's not exactly a common disease, you know. I have yet to figure out where exactly I picked it up; I only hope no one else caught it at the same time.
Still, I can't be entirely remorseful, Severus. After all, my flu forced you to... well, force my door. (Thank you for patching it back up, by the way.) And once I was better, we were able to talk through a number of matters that ought to have been thrashed out quite some time ago. I think that, if we are to continue, we'll have to set some sort of ground rules for when we both lose our tempers. "Never let the sun set on your anger" or something of that sort. Though we may want to "Cool down and talk the next day (or week)" instead; talking too soon got us into this mess after all.
Anyway, I am taking my potions like a good little patient and have kept myself to my flat. Though I did send an owl to retrieve some books from the library. I'm bored! And very much looking forward to your visit this weekend. (Though I thought you might be able to finagle more time off from Minerva. Ah, well.)
Thinking of you (in various positions),
Hermione.
Dear Hermione,
Thank you for keeping me updated about your condition; we need to be wary of a relapse. I do not wish to go through this whole muddle again. And thank you for your apology.
[several paragraphs omitted]
I request that you not make any plans concerning our appointment this weekend. I have several exceedingly serious matters I wish to discuss with you (including the one you mentioned in your last missive) and cannot be certain how much time they will take.
Yours sincerely,
Severus.
Mr. and Mrs. Robert J. Granger
cordially invite you to attend the wedding of their daughter,
Hermione Jane
to
Professor Severus C. Snape
on 15 May, 200x
at 5.30 pm.
a.n. - Formatted at last! One more posting and an epilogue to go...
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Latest 25 Reviews for What I Want My Words to Do to You
84 Reviews | 6.93/10 Average
Don't know why I haven't found this before! Great fun, despite the slight to my home town...
Loved it! Thank you!
Looking for something to read, I stumbled on the Yule 2008 challenge and started down the list. When I read your Yule story and realized it was a sequel, I went looking for this. Loved it. Reminds me of Dorothy Sayers' beginning to "Busman's Honeymoon" which was written in the mid 1930s. If you haven't read it, might I highly suggest you do. Lord Peter and Harriet Vane are very entertaining and Bunter is priceless.
a great collection of letters, indeed!
LOL
Thank you for the laughs I had while reading this chapter of you fic.
delicious and decidedly funny. very much in character for both of them. thanks so much!
I really loved this story!!!
This is absolutely delightful! I adore epistolary fiction, and I crowed with laughter at the Barbara Cartland reference. In fact, I inherited mine from my mother, who in turn inherited them from her father. ;) Crazy, but funny.
aaackk. will poor hermione EVER figure out how to respond to that last line? too funny! i read this on a break at work, and i giggled so gleefully i had to explain to my coworker WHAT was so funny. i read her the paragraph of hermione's reaction, and even out of context, she agreed it was most amusing. am looking forward to when you put some more words into her mouth - er, quill. ; )
More please! I Likie!! Heehee-- and I love the fact that they switched to their names without all the "HOW DID YOU KNOW!!" heehee.
This is wonderful....
another lovely chapter of this delightful story. you do such a wonderful job with establishing their voices in these letters. i LOVE that he sent her a catalog of his library! and that sure sounds like an invitation to me.
Loving this! You always write them so well, and I like the letter format with their reactions included. It's interesting that they haven't even seen eachother for a few years (before they started their correspondence even) the entire time this has (so far ) gone on. Will be looking forward to the next!
I remember this. I would love to read the rest.
Another brilliant chapter! Your mastery of the language sends me into raptures, especially as it is the language of love peculiar to Hermione and Severus.
Anonymous
That was indeed an invitation! I watched with interest the greetings change from Woman! to Dear Miss Granger to Dear Hermione. He is being drawn in slowly but surely....
This is the best way to court, through letters. I imagine all those WWII soldiers writing to girls back home. You can give real thought to your words and express yourself more fully. I think the Hermione in this story has hit on the perfect means to ensnare Prof. S. C. Snape.
Elegant as the first chapter, equally lovely, and stimulating.
Love it! Delightful and inventive. Can't wait for more!
A great update! I do side with Severus that Hermione should have hexed some precious bits of those two dunderheads she called friends as a thank-you for their "gift" (insult would be more correct). There wouldn't have been a woman anywhere who would have blamed her, most likely it would have been "The" thing that would have united all witches, pureblood, halfblood and muggleborns alike:-) The letters between our two heroes are magnificiant, and I am amazed how well you get the story told by their letters to each other. I do hope that at some point we will get to read about Ron and Harry finding out just who Hermione is involved with?:-))I will be looking forward for the next update!
Wonderful. Severus's presents compared to Harry and Ron's! I love the idea of a catalogue to his book-collection forming a pledge of friendship (and quite understand it - I am an antiquarian bookseller's daughter, after all).Btw - one amoeba, two amoebae.
Oh! I forgot to include a comment on her third letter this chapter. I am going to have to write it down because the words are positively moving. Thoroughly profound, and it stirs the heart and quickens the breath just thinking of having someone, anyone say something like that.
What progress... Hermione didn't even comment with Severus first called her by name. But then I suppose she knew he knew who she was, and he knew she knew he knew, so it wasn't necessary to mention it.
Brilliant, keep up the good work ! I can't wait for the pillocks to find out who her "pen-friend" is.
I am enjoying this fic so very much. I admit to delighting in epistolary fiction as well as reading the letters of various historical couples (I'm currently reading some of the correspondence between John and Abigail Adams when I'm not reading fanfic or studying math or regional studies at college). Severus most definitely has excellent taste and I must say, the voice of his letters makes me wish I was his correspondent, not Hermione! The characterisations and emotive expression in your writing are among the best I've ever read (in HP fanfic and pro-fic), I am looking forward to reading the next installment. Bravi, bravi, bravissimi!
That was lovely. I really enjoyed it. And I can't believe that "gift" from Ron and Harry. I would have hexed them into next week.
Anonymous
I very much enjoyed! How witty! How utterly sparkling-ly lovely! I cannot wait for the rest. Pray tell, what would be the ages of the involved parties, and how long has our dear ZS been pining for the many-titled professor? Or do I have to wait for more letters to reveal these bits of information?