A Creature Void of Form...

A/N: This is probably my favorite chapter in this story. Please Review and let me know how you like it! Thanks again to my betas, Augurey27 and ImOnMedication. Thanks also to all the admins here at TPP!

***

I paced the floor that evening, waiting for him to complete his bathroom rituals. He came out and found me standing right in his way. His face contorted into immediate distrust. Never before had I allowed myself to be in any form of close proximity with him. I saw his eyes flicker to my waist.

"Don't worry. I'm wandless." I smiled as I raised my hands.

"How... unusual," he muttered as I let him pass.

I didn't know where to begin. So, I blurted it out. "Look, um, go ahead and sleep in the bed. I think you have earned a degree of trust, and I think it would be good for my own personal progress to demonstrate my... need to trust someone again... a man, that is." My eyes darted around the room, waiting for his reply.

"Very well," he said calmly. "But I refuse to sleep in this bed while you have that."

He was pointing to my wand. I pressed it against me as if it were my first-born. "I need my wand, Severus, I need... to ..." I stopped talking. He was shaking his head. "What?" I yelled.

"Mary," he said in his silkiest voice. "I am not going to have my bollocks hexed off me in my sleep. Yours is a violent temper that only exceeds my own because of your youth. You are hot headed, stubborn, and vindictive. He walked to me and whispered, "You exude wrathfulness, and I am quite aware of your thoughts."

My face turned slightly and peered into his black eyes. My mouth opened slightly. "I knew it!" I whispered. "You read minds!"

He rolled his eyes and walked away to his side of the bed. "I do not! Perhaps one day when you are older and more mature, we can discuss the more advanced areas of magic that I am capable of producing. Now, give me your wand!" he snapped impatiently. He held out his white hand, and I debated whether or not to comply. I heard his impatient sigh and gave it over.

"Wait!" I burst out suddenly. "Where is your wand?"

"My wand is by my side at all times. But, I do not need a wand to enforce my wishes. I will stay here and you will stay there. Do not make me hex you," he warned dangerously.

I was affronted. He had nothing to worry about. I, on the other han, was the one to be afraid. Well, I harrumphed. This is a change... but definitely!

***

I was being shaken violently and severely. Someone was screaming. A hand came down hard over my mouth. I bit down as hard as I could. A yelp came from the owner. I was frantic to escape. Where the bloody hell was I?

"MARY!" Snape's voice boomed out in the darkness. He said, "Lumos."

I was huddled in a corner and was soaking wet. I was screaming!

"Mary!" Snape shrieked over my screams.

I stopped. I was dizzy. He had me by my arms. I finally regained control of my senses. Then I started to cry. I collapsed onto him like a broken doll and cried. He rocked me in his arms and held me tight. Finally, I stopped crying and drew away from him.

"I peed my pants," I choked out, embarrassed as a three-year-old.

"It's okay," he said. "Let's get you cleaned up." He walked me into the bathroom. I was so weary from the release of crying I didn't realize he was taking off my pyjamas and washing me. All the while he spoke to me in soft tones.

"It's my fault. With our new sleeping arrangement, I completely forgot to give you your Sleeping Potion. It took me years before I could sleep without one. I used to wake up in terror, the Dark Lord...his methods of training and bending you to his will is terrifying. One does not forget easily. But, the memories dull with time. Some of his followers take on so well with his taste for torture, others, like myself, have no taste for it. Unfortunately, if you don't want to participate, you still have to be there and watch. I regret you ever had to know this part of the Wizarding World, Mary, more than you'll ever know. There now, all clean. Let's get you dressed."

I allowed him to lead me, naked, back into the bedroom. He dressed me in one of his own nightshirts. He bent down and looked into my eyes. I was in a daze. "Shock," he muttered. He led me back into bed and adjusted the covers. I waited while he brought me a phial to drink. I slept well that night. I think I felt safe and perhaps grateful that I had friend.

***

One evening, there were noises coming from right outside the rooms. I jumped up, the hairs on the back of my neck rose in anticipatory fear. Snape was already up and fuming. After he had left, I heard yells and muffled threats. When Snape finally returned to the bedroom, he was livid.

"How dare that nosy, son-of-a-bitch!" he growled.

I kept silent. I didn't know if he wanted my questions or input. He raved for a while about Filch, Potter, Mad-Eye Moody, and something about "insinuations of hiding something in his rooms."

"Well," I laughed. "Aren't you?"

"That, Madam, is not the point!" he snarled.

With that, he went to his side of the bed.

***

"Mary, we need to discuss your attire," Snape said absentmindedly from his desk.

"Why?" I asked.

We were in the middle of my lessons. Since I was married, there was no way for me to continue as a regular student. Besides, I was in hiding...confined to his personal rooms during the day and after curfew, his offices and classrooms. Snape explained my new "educational situation" to me as the Muggle equivalent of being "home-schooled." He was still my teacher, but not only for Potions. He taught me everything he felt to be relevant to my being a N.E.W.T. student bound for Auror Training. Spring was upon us, and I was getting restless in the dungeons. That was when I started to pretend I was taking my potions to sleep, but instead, I'd slip out and enjoy the night air. That was until I got busted by my husband and had been given notice that he would "think on" what to do to help me deal with my anger.

Snape was still focused on an essay I had written as he spoke. "Tomorrow we are going to Diagon Alley. I don't think it would hurt if you were to done proper attire at times to counterbalance these Muggle clothes you insist on wearing."

"Like what?" I asked suspiciously. "Look, you are not getting me back into robes. Fuck that!"

"Language, Mary." Snape frowned in disgust.

"No more school robes." I was deadpan in my seriousness. I had regained more of my memory of that terrible night, and I could now recall being unable to move from being Stupefied, having those men strip my robes from my body while being blindfolded, rubbing themselves against me. Then someone had pushed their finger inside me. I was helpless to fight them and had to endure listening to their lewd comments about the "schoolgirl virgin."

Snape eyed me and relented. "Very well. But you will wear what I think is appropriate."

"And what about what I think is appropriate?" I snapped at him.

"Alright," he said. I thought I saw a smile creep across his face as he turned to lay down my essay. He faced me again and said, "Tomorrow is your eighteenth birthday, is it not? Well, go on then," he said as he crossed his arms against his chest. "Enlighten me," he said sarcastically.

"Well," I said. "What's wrong with what you wear? Black is the 'timeless classic,' after all."

"Indeed, and you want to wear the pants as well?" he added sarcastically.

"Perhaps," I replied evenly. "I could have both. And I could wear the pants when I feel I need to."

"That would be all the time, Mary," he said dryly as he turned from me to pick up my essay. "Let us not quibble over a pair of trousers. There might indeed be a use for you to have them, if all goes well."

"What?" I asked.

"Later...now this essay. What is it you are trying to convey? It is nonsensical!"

***

We went to Diagon Alley after Snape created a Polyjuice Potion to conceal my true identity. He had stolen a hair from an unsuspecting Muggle woman who had my similar dimensions and height a week prior. Obviously, he had been thinking of this excursion for a while now, since the potion took so long to create. We took a flask full with us, just in case we were detained longer than one hour. I received my first grown-up witches dress, all in black of course. I required my dresses to be form fitted and imposing, just like my husband's attire. Snape approved of my choices with a smirk, and then we went to his clothing store and there shocked the life out the poor wizard who worked there when I asked to be fitted for trousers. After some stammering and stalling from his end, and my threatening to hex him from my end, it left Snape roaring with laughter upon our exit...with my trousers.

"What are you laughing at?" I snapped at him, finding his laughter rather irritating.

"Oh, you my dear. You are a very evil-tempered woman!" he chuckled. "Pity, though," he mused. "If only there were some skill and power behind those barbed threats, you might be invincible."

I rounded on him in the street. "I am perfectly capable of doing extreme harm to anyone who dares to cross me with my wand...or without!" I added for good measure.

That evening after curfew, Snape took me for a walk along the edge of the forest. I remembered that it was the first time I had been there since that terrible day. Feelings of rage and vengeance came over me, and my old prejudices and anger towards Snape came rushing back.

He stopped me and said, "I can feel your rage, your hate for me. What are you going to about it?" He tapped his long, white finger against his lips as he walked a predatory circle around me. I made sure he did not leave my sight. "I recall you telling me the day I proposed marriage to you that you would...what was it? 'Kick my arse into next week?' Have you actually considered doing it, now that you are mended?"

"What are you playing at?" I demanded with my wand drawn at his chest.

"Oh, no, Mary," he said menacingly as he waved his hand and whisked my wand out from my fingers. "Let's do this the Muggle way. Let's fight. I'll let you hit me first, since that seems to be all you can think about right now."

I ripped off my jacket and pushed up my sleeves. "Fine. You're a right foul bastard! I know you have the Dark Mark. You are a Death Eater, probably a rapist in your own right. I wonder, how many women you've mutilated over the years?" I hoped I was goading him into a fury. It was my only chance to get him off his guard so it could be a fair fight.

It worked. His jaw clenched and his eyes went blacker than I had ever seen them. I swung and decked him across the left side of his head. He bowed, but didn't go down. He straightened and laughed sadistically.

"Have you ever heard the term 'cruel to be kind?'" he asked, rubbing his sallow cheek. "My turn."

He swung and I blocked his blow with my left arm. I sank my right fist into his stomach. His long white fingers savagely grabbed my left wrist, and I was swung around. He forced me on my knees, gripping my wrist behind my back with one hand and his other arm wrapped around my neck. I could feel him pressing himself into me and forcing my back into his chest.

He tightened his grip and I winced in pain. His breath was hot on my neck. He whispered in my ear, "You have the rage and the will, but you lack knowledge. If I were a true Death Eater, you'd be dead right now. I don't rape. I kill." With that, he threw me on the ground and rose over me. I slowly got up, never taking my eyes off him.

He extended his hand in friendship. I accepted it heartily. I didn't care where he took me from here. He knew how to kill. I wanted to learn it too.