Imagine a Place Safe and Warm...

A/N: Thanks for sticking with me thus far! Big thanks to my betas, Augurey27 and ImOnMedication. Thanks also to Angel Mischa, and Sempra for their patience!

***

I was lying in a hospital. I slipped in and out of consciousness. There had been a kind nurse, and also an unknown person I couldn't see, but was aware of a presence that remained by my side. My legs were propped up and separated. There was so much pain. The mediwitch tried to explain the damage, the healings, and the curses that could not be healed, something...

The next thing I knew, I was facing Madam Pomfrey. Hers was the sweetest face I could hope to see. I was at Hogwarts. I wasn't dead. Then I remembered what had happened to me. I wanted to die. I tried to cry, but I couldn't. She told me she had to charm my eyes so I couldn't cry and ruin the trial healings that were being done on my face.

"What trial healings?" I mouthed. I could barely speak because of my slashed throat.

"Oh, Professor Snape has been working feverishly to find the right salve for your cuts. Ever since you came here from St. Mungo's! My dear, they were cursed cuts. They may never heal." She started to cry. I turned from her, and I only could think, Snape is here. I'm going to kill him.

***

Unbeknownst to me, while Madam Pomfrey sat by my side, a very tense staff meeting was taking place in Dumbledore's office.

"Albus," began McGonagall, "we need to fully discuss exactly what occurred to Miss Anders. I demand you and Severus tell me everything."

Dumbledore sat in his chair wearily. "Severus, you need to tell this story." His voice was full of sadness.

"Very well, Headmaster," Snape began. "Miss Anders was serving detention with Filch during the night in question when two Death Eaters ambushed her. She was then Stupefied and taken to Malfoy Manor."

McGonagall's face went white with anger. "What in the bloody hell was she...a Muggle-born...out serving a detention for you with Filch? Unprotected!"

"Minerva," Snape said uneasily, "the evening prior, Messrs. Crabbe and Goyle came to visit me. A dark revel was on their mind. I found them nearly accosting Miss Anders, so I threw her out, and thought it would be better for her to do her next detention away from the dungeons. I should have been there. I accept full responsibility. My only explanation is that I believed I needed to be on guard in the dungeons for their possible return. While there, I received an Owl to meet them at Malfoy Manor for a special party to be thrown in my honor." He stopped talking.

"Go on, Severus!" McGonagall bellowed.

Snape shook his head slightly in disbelief. "I almost didn't go, and the thought of that...is difficult." He clasped his hands behind his back and clenched his jaw. "But when I arrived, I found things were already in play. I cannot reveal to you how I managed to get her out alive, but I did." He looked away from them, feeling deeply ashamed and angry.

McGonagall looked at Dumbledore with shock. "Albus, I'm at a loss. What shall we do? We can't Obliviate her memory. She is marked. Her wounds, they are cursed!" She rounded on Snape. "Have you seen what they did to that poor child? Seventeen! She will never have children. She is permanently disfigured inside and out. And what about her mother? Her mother was her only family! Who will tell her the Death Eaters...?" Snape winced inwardly as her words sliced at the guilt he already felt.

"No, Minerva," Severus said as he cut her off. "There was no Dark Mark. It was McNair, I'm positive. He was... on...her when I stopped them." Snape turned nearly purple trying to explain the situation. "He never got to rape her, so he cut her throat with a curse."

"And then went and killed her mother?" Minerva finished, shaking like a leaf, staring at Snape.

"I believe so," Snape agreed.

Minerva turned to Dumbledore. "Well, Albus, what will happen to this child?"

"Minerva, she is no longer a child. You know the law. Sixteen is the legal age to marry. And as you pointed out, she is seventeen. She is an adult," he replied sadly.

McGonagall took a deep breath before speaking. "Albus, this GIRL is a Muggle-born. Yes, she is seventeen, but she has only lived in our world such a short time, please!"

Dumbledore stood his ground. "Minerva, she is seventeen and has been compromised. Raped or not, she has been publicly disgraced. The news has already leaked out from St. Mungo's about the state of her condition and that she was intimate with more than one man. Alone, she will become an outcast, or worse, a potential target. Do you not think these men will try at any cost to find her and finish what they started? Her very life is proof of their treachery! We must do everything in our power to preserve and save this girl from any and all harm, whether it be physical or then...in later life...social!"

McGonagall threw her hands up in mock futility. "What do you suggest we do? Lock her in a tower until He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named is finally revealed and defeated?"

"Not exactly," Snape said calmly as he stared into Dumbledore's eyes.

Dumbledore nodded sadly in silent agreement with the younger man. McGonagall was dumbstruck. "What? I don't understand!"

"The only course, Minerva, is for Severus to marry Miss Anders and keep her with him secretly in the dungeons until we can sort out this situation. Until then, we'll spread the rumor around that Snape has had her put away. The marriage will not need to be revealed until we can bring her out of hiding. Once we are able to bring her out in the open, the marriage contract can be revealed, thus stopping any rumors that Snape was forcing a young girl to live with him for... immoral purposes."

"Insane!" McGonagall shrieked. "This is barbaric and..."

"Minerva," Snape interjected, raising his hand. "Please, this is a marriage in name only, to protect her. I will never touch this girl. I am the one who saw her in her shame. As far as the gossipmongers know, I am the one who brought her to St. Mungo's in her condition; therefore, I must be one of the men involved! But importantly, I am the only one who can understand her feelings of betrayal, violence, and can deal with the backlash of the anger that will be emanating from her. This level of anger and rage will cause her magic to become volatile and unsafe around the students. This girl is going to need a place of greater safety than what her common room can give her. I will take all of it on myself, after all, if I had only been on ... time..." Snape could not finish; he held up his hand in apology and turned away from his colleagues, his eyes stinging with tears and his anger rising dangerously. Damn this insanity! I'll never be free! he thought.

"Albus, where do we go from here?" McGonagall whispered.

"Let us go and check on Miss Anders. Poppy will appraise the situation, and we will tell her only the information she can handle."

***

Madam Pomfrey's lips pursed together in anger before she spoke. "I have never, ever, seen such barbaric treatment on a human being!" Her voice shook with feeling. "Her cervix was destroyed. It had to be removed at St. Mungo's. She will never be able to carry a child. As if... as if that ... oh!" She burst into tears. McGonagall put a supportive arm around her.

"I'm alright." She cleared her throat. "She is laid with a sheet separating her waist-up and waist-down. Her entire perennial area was ripped to bits. It had to be completely reconstructed. The Healers at St. Mungo's were able to do that well. She'll be normal once the swelling reduces. The cuts, however, Professor Snape...I just don't see how it can be working. They are just too powerful." Snape stood mute and pale, unable to speak.

"Can we see her?" asked McGonagall quietly.

"Yes, but as I said, she is on the bed with her legs elevated and separated so she can heal properly. So please, do not look between the second and third sheet. She is not aware... I don't think she processed what I told her. So please be cautious."

***

"Mary, Mary, dear,"

I opened up my eyes towards the soothing voice. "Professor," I murmured. I turned and smiled at the Headmaster and then saw... him!

My eyes bulged and my chest seized as I felt my body convulse. I started to scream, but nothing but a hoarse sound emitted from me. My throat burned and my eyes rolled up in my head. Madam Pomfrey rushed over and pushed the three out. Once she gave me a Calming Drought and was able to rouse me, she asked what the matter had been.

"Snape," I mouthed.

"Professor Snape," she urged.

"He did this...made this happen," I wheezed.

"Oh no!" Poppy said, shaking her head. "Mary, Professor Snape saved you. You would be dead if he had not found you and brought you to St. Mungo's. My dear, he was with you the entire time. He was desperately worried for you."

All I could think was that bastard had been with me, near me, seen me. I then passed out.

As I lay unconscious, a very upset and disturbed Snape was vomiting in a nearby rubbish bin.

***

It was weeks before I was able to have visitors. Once I started getting up and walking, I went to the loo for the first time, I saw my face and throat in the mirror. My hands clawed at my reflection. I was overcome with shock. I wanted to scream, but could not. I gripped the sink in horror. It wasn't me. My eyes were hollow and sunken in, and my face was mutilated! Madam Pomfrey heard my grunts and moans, came to me and held me. I cried silently. By then, the charm against my being able to cry had been lifted. I wanted to die; I just wanted the nightmare to be over. I asked her over and over, in my hoarse voice, "Where's my mum?" It was then Madam Pomfrey felt I should be ready to have some proper visitation. Hermione came to cheer me with all the exciting news of the Triwizard Tournament, how Harry had fared, and her new friend from Durmstrang, Viktor. I could barely register her words. She was talking, but I couldn't hear her.

"Hermione?" I interrupted, still staring off into the distance. "Where's my mum? Is she dead?" I looked at her when no answer came.

Her eyes were full of tears. "Look, I brought you chocolate frogs, your favorite!"

"Thanks."

"Mary, Dumbledore wanted me to tell you something. You need to know about what happened after Professor Snape took you to St. Mungo's."

I started to breathe heavy. "What did that bastard do?" I seethed.

"Professor Snape?" she asked confused. "No Mary, Professor Snape didn't do anything wrong. It's your mum."

I cut her off with my hand. "She's dead, isn't she?"

She nodded, tears falling down her face. "How did you know?"

"She would have been here, near me. Hermione, I was dying. They destroyed everything...I just knew." I started laughing as the tears came running down my face. I just sat there, stupidly, crying all over my lap full of chocolate frogs.

Madam Pomfrey came over. "Okay Poppy," I said with my best fake smile as I wiped my eyes dry. "I need to know everything now, 'cause I got a sinking feeling there's a lot more to divulge. So why don't we all just get the whole bloody show over with?" As she walked out, Hermione excused herself and I sat alone, waiting for something that wasn't going to set well with me. I decided crying was going to get me nowhere. Anger, and lots of it, would serve me better.

***

"I want you to go to hell."

That was my answer to Professor Snape's proposal.

"If I could, I would get up and kick your sorry arse into next week."

His eyes narrowed as he looked into mine and then began to speak roughly to me. "Understand, Miss Anders. This is a precautionary step. No one here wants you dead or further harmed. I can protect you. This is not a real marriage. Just a piece of paper and shelter."

"You can take your offer and shove it up your arse," I said bluntly, fixing my eyes on his like daggers. "Because I know...you may have all these people around here fooled, but not I. I know your game, and I know you were the one who orchestrated this whole thing. Lucius told me. You were to have me first." Tears were coming down my face, heavy and hot. "But, you were too late for YOUR party. You also took the side of those wankers when they called me a Mudblood in your classroom and DISARMED me!"

I started to rise out of bed, and the adults around me instinctively backed up. I saw McGonagall and Snape slowly reach for their wands as I compulsively toyed with my wand in my hand.

"You disarmed me, you...you bastard! You took my power away, and when you did that, you showed them they could do whatever they wanted with no repercussions for their actions. You, in my mind, raped me first! So, go to hell. You've always hated me, you've never been nice to me, so get away from me." By now I was heaving and couldn't breathe. Snape, being the closest, grabbed me by the arms to stop me from collapsing to the floor.

"Don't... touch... me!" I gasped.

Poppy tried to intervene, but Snape cut her off. He ignored me and placed me firmly in the bed, covering me with the blanket. He came within an inch of my face, fastened his eyes on mine, and began to speak to me in an ice-cold tone.

"Right, Mary. This is how it is going to be. You are going to accept that I tried to do my damndest to ensure your survival. I risked a great deal to get you out of that dungeon. If I only wanted you there in the first place, why would I insist on leaving with you and not partake of you as the others had?"

I tried to interrupt, but he cut me off.

"I know, you believe I raped you after you lost consciousness. I did no such thing. I bound your wounds, tried to heal your wounds, and delivered you to St. Mungo's where I spent two weeks watching over you so the Death Eaters would not get you again and kill you. I do not want you to die. But I am guessing you wish I had let you die. Well, go ahead and hate me. Nothing will change. You and I WILL sign that paper, and you WILL live with me in the dungeons where I can watch over you. That is all there is to it. Now, let's get on with it, shall we?"

I looked at Professor McGonagall and the Headmaster. They both nodded in silent approval.

"Fine," I muttered bitterly.

In minutes it was over, and I was married. Snape was told his could "kiss his bride." He took my left hand that now had a gold band on it and kissed it lightly. I didn't look at him.

***

Time passed and a week before the Yule Ball, I was officially well enough to leave the hospital. I went down to Snape's rooms and found only one bedroom with a King-sized bed.

"You're off your nut if you think I'm sleeping with you," I yelled at him. My voice was back, but deeper because of the damage. I liked it. I could yell as well as he could now.

"Mary," he said exasperatedly, "this is a King-sized bed. There is no reason you cannot remain on your side, and I on mine. Besides, I will not risk a night ambush. You will remain within reasonable reach for me to watch over you."

"Fine!" I hollered. I grabbed a pillow and threw it at him. "Take that and transfigure your sofa into a bed. You can sleep in the same room, but I will be damned if I will get in the same bed with you!"

He looked at me, I think, with fear or respect. I couldn't tell. But he did say this,

"Dumbledore is right. You're not a girl anymore."

"Too right you are, Severus," I retorted as I unpacked without looking at him. "Your friends took care of that." I looked up at him standing there, frozen solid in anger. "Didn't they?" I goaded him with a sickly smile and condemning eyes.

***

"What do you think you are doing?" he asked me sharply as I got into my bed.

"Going to bed," I answered with an annoyed tone.

"You are wearing your clothes."

Now I was angry. "Right," I muttered to myself as I got up to face him. "I will wear what I want, when I want, and how I want. Have I made myself clear?"

"I don't think it's healthy," he replied softly, his temper rising.

"Well, shite, Snape, I guess it's a good thing then it's my body and not yours. So PISS OFF!"

His eyes flashed and I saw a vein flicker on his temple. I started at him, daring him to take me on. He backed down and turned away from me.

Actually, I was really shocked how much verbal abuse he took from me. It was really a wonderful treat to have my own personal whipping boy to vent my frustrations on. Although, things did come to a head after a couple of weeks, when Snape announced I take either a shower or a bath.

He confronted me first thing in the morning as I was trying to go pee. He blocked the doorway and told me in no uncertain terms I was not leaving the bedroom today unless I thoroughly washed myself.

"How dare you, you greasy git! I wash every day!"

He stood at his full height, in an attempt to tower over me, which was not a whole lot, since I was very tall for a girl, but in an attempt to exert himself over me, he crossed his arms over his nightshirt. Even in his nightshirt, he was still daunting. "You do not wash thoroughly. Tell me, when was the last time you took off all your clothes and bathed? Or even changed your clothes? You have lived in these disgusting Muggle clothes for two weeks. You smell. Wash. Or I will cancel all my classes and stay with you all day until you comply." His face was emotionless, like stone.

He had me good this time. He was right, but I couldn't. And I was at a loss as to explain. I started pacing up and down like an animal.

"Look, I get it. I understand, you're right. I admit it. I stink. But you don't know what you are asking me to do. I can't." I rubbed obsessively on my wrists, feeling the remnant of scars left from that terrible night.

He took a couple steps toward me with his arms still crossed in front of his chest. Quietly, he spoke. "Mary, I know exactly what I'm asking. I'm asking you to be naked. That has to be frightening. You haven't been naked since that night. You've had bandages to cover you and sponge baths to cleanse you...temporarily...but now the time has come for you to face yourself. You have to look in the mirror and look at your scars. You're going to cry, and it's going to be very emotionally taxing for you. Today, you don't have to do anything else if you don't want to. Just do this one task."

"I can't face it. I can barely look at my face in the mirror." I turned away from him. I heard him moving, shuffling.

"Mary, look at me," he demanded.

I turned and saw he had slipped his nightshirt off down to his waist. His white, thin chest was scarred. I knew what he was thinking, and it wasn't going to work.

I crossed my arms and rubbed my eyes with one hand in frustration. "Look, it is not the same for women. Men have scars and its virile...sexy, even! But for me...no...I'm disgusting and disfigured." I eyed him with venom. "You can't change how I feel about that!" I yelled.

I sat on my bed, turning my face from him as he covered up in silence. He then grabbed the Floo powder and hollered into the fireplace. "Minerva, a word?"

I tuned out; I didn't care what he had to say. Then he turned to me and said, "Miss Granger is coming down and she will help you bathe. You know how meddlesome she can be. Very thorough, no nonsense, that girl! I expect you to be properly groomed by lunchtime."

"I thought everyone was to be told I quit Hogwarts, that I've left the country, in my shame," I spat out bitterly.

"Miss Granger is nothing if not eager to please. She will keep this confidence. Also, it will be good for you not to be completely without other companionship around your own age."

He left me to go wash and dress. He came out dressed in his usual black robes. He waited for Hermione to come down. He whispered his orders to her and left.

***

Hermione poured a warm bath with lavender. She said the lavender would soothe me and make me feel comfortable. She took a bunch of towels and covered the mirrors so I would not have to see myself if I chose not to. "One step at a time," she said. I started to cry as she took off my sweater. My arms went across my chest.

"Oh, Mary!" she cried. "What have you done?"

I had taken bandages my first night in the dungeon, two weeks ago, and bound my breasts to make them flat. "I was scared. I didn't want to be anything that would cause..." I didn't know the words to say how I felt.

"You were afraid Professor Snape would hurt you if he saw you as female?"

I broke down as she undid the bandages. "I don't know how to live like this. I wish I didn't have breasts. I am so scared all the time!"

Hermione just nodded and helped me out of my pants and knickers. "How are you healing down there?" she asked.

"Good, started my cycles again. No more pain after the reconstruction was finished and healed."

She helped me into the bath, and it felt so good, I sighed in delight. She let me soak there and rest.

"Can I give you my appraisal as one female to another?" she asked timidly.

"Okay," I mumbled, a little embarrassed.

"Professor Snape did a good job with the salve. The cuts on your breasts and legs are just of the lightest silver. You still are beautiful, Mary."

"Hermione, my face, my neck ..."

"Mary, your eyes, they are such a beautiful hazel, and your hair...'Copper-top.'" I giggled, recalling my old nickname. She spoke again, slowly. "You still have beauty. You have beautiful shoulders, a curvy waist ..."

"Stop, please, I'm torn between being repulsive and being something. I don't want to be anything that he would find desirable."

"You're really scared Professor Snape would try to hurt you?" she asked incredulously.

"He is technically my husband, and what if as I get older, or as time goes by, he thinks, 'Hey, I deserve something,' and forces me?"

"You need to talk to him, Mary. Believe me, Professor Snape understands more than you think. From what I heard, he was horribly abused by You-Know-Who, years ago."

That bit of information made my chest tighten and my stomach ill. "I'll think on it," I said finally.

Hermione helped me bathe and was very patient each step of the way. I cried a lot, but after it was over, I felt very proud of myself. When I went to my bed, I found a large oversized flannel pyjama shirt and pants on a freshly changed bed.

"Well, I wonder!" I said to Hermione.

"Here is a note," she said, handing it to me.

Mary,

Severus

Hermione smiled and patted my back. "See?" she urged. "He really isn't wicked."

I raised an eyebrow at her and squinted my eyes. "Hermione, what the hell have you done with your teeth?"

She laughed and told me the story of Malfoy's hex and how she managed to get her teeth magically adjusted.

"Hermione," I sighed as I dressed in my new pyjamas. "You failed to tell me how Snape reacted."

"Oh, it's not... really..." She tried to brush it off.

"Ah!" I said. "Tell me."

After she finished her tale, she was quick to tell me all her excuses for him as I shook my head in anger.

"You're just like Harry...you want to see the worst in him!" she blurted out. "You just don't know how bad it is for him. There is this old Death Eater from Durmstrang here and remember our teacher, Mad-Eye Moody? He's been dogging Snape's every step. He even searched his storerooms and office. I thought Snape was going to have a fit when he wanted to check in here, but Dumbledore put his foot down and said he trusted Snape. So, Professor Snape really has to be on his guard. If he weren't being a prat to us Gryffindors, it could really blow what he's trying to do."

"And what is it that he's trying to do, Hermione?" I asked in an accusatory tone.

"Protect you!" she said incredulously. "Mary, this man has a protection barrier around you ten walls thick! He is constantly on his guard. And yes, he is as foul-tempered as ever, but I really am starting to think there is more to him than what meets the eye. Be grateful, Mary."

She looked at her watch. "Gotta go, lunch...Professor Snape will be here soon. Bye."

I raised my hand in goodbye. I sat down completely gobsmacked. Okay, Mary, I thought. Time to take the first step...into trust.