5. Actions

5. Actions

"Could there be a hope in hell?"

Hidden in the dark protection of the Shrieking Shack, Severus Snape abruptly awakened from his troubled slumber, the very first one his overexcited mind had conceded to his exhausted body after so many nights. A featherlike touch, the mocking parody of a gentle stroke, had been slowly caressing his temple, and with a shiver, he had suddenly become aware that his master was calling. Almost immediately, the thin scars on his forehead had begun to burn atrociously, and he bit his lips, trying to fight back the flood of desperation following the pain.

How intolerable, how indescribably humiliating it was to remember he was now a slave! The crushed remnants of his once powerful future were now lying at his feet like the scattered, broken furniture around him. Solitude, regret and hopelessness were going to be his new, severe companions in the days to come... until his evil master finally grew tired of his services and made a definitive decision about his destiny. He had no doubt of the reward that was awaiting him at the end.

What a fool had he been to submit to the Dark Lord's seductive insistence so many years ago! How many mistakes had he made for which it was now impossible to make amends? How deeply miserable had his life been and in which terrible way was it going to end?

He sighed deeply. The sparkle of pale, desperate hope was still faintly trembling in his chest. Perhaps The Plan... Again, a sharp pain in his forehead reminded him of his duty. He had to bow in bitter resignation. His mistakes were ferociously claiming his punishment, and it was useless to wish for a reprieve.

Still uncertain about how the mark worked, Snape closed his eyes and unlocked his mind, waiting for his master's will to reveal itself. Slowly, sounds and images began to form in his brain while his essence was in a trance. Gradually, a more defined vision forcefully invaded his misty thoughts.

And suddenly, he knew.

*****************************

The late afternoon was already colouring the sky in warm orange and red tones, happily announcing sunset, when Harry Potter and Hermione Granger smoothly Apparated before the gates of Hogwarts with a soft pop.

They were on their way back from Bill and Fleur Weasley's merry wedding, where the serene atmosphere of the familial event and the gathering of so many affectionate friends had a deep soothing effect on their souls.

When the party was coming to its end and everybody was too animated to notice, a very serious Harry had whispered to Hermione that he was thinking of leaving and stopping by Hogwarts; wouldn't she like to join him?

Still brightened by the general excitement and by the drinks she had uncharacteristically but eagerly volunteered to taste with Ron, highly encouraged in this by Fred and George, Hermione, tugged by many contrasting emotions, had impulsively accepted.

Now, feeling deeply moved at the sight of the castle gently fading away in the glorious rays of the dying sun, the two teenagers walked slowly across the lawn, each one carefully avoiding the other's gaze... But after a few paces, the silence became unbearable.

"Why did you want to come back this way?" Hermione finally asked while her hand furtively wiped the corner of her eyes, a hint of sadness trembling in her voice.

"I really don't know," replied Harry softly, lowering his head as if he was looking for something on the ground, but essentially trying to save his dignity; he, too, was feeling his emotions growing almost uncontrollably. "Maybe because all the best memories of my life are enclosed in this little area. I can't believe that everything I love could be destroyed in just a handful of seconds..."

Then, unable to talk anymore, he quickly moved away from her, murmuring quietly. "And I can't stand the thought that I could lose more of my friends, anyone else I care for, while we are all trying to stop this absurd, useless war."

Hermione watched him go with sad eyes, concern filling her mind that was growing even more sensitive every day. At least the memories in her life were, for the most part, joyful. Her parents were still there, waiting for her to come home, ready to congratulate her on her outstanding scholastic successes. Even if, she had to admit, they didn't really understand the existence in which she was caught up more and more, so different from their own ordinary lives.

Unbidden, a vivid, recurring thought made her shiver with apprehension. Her parents didn't know that her new world, the place she really belonged to, was in terrible danger. She had always been very careful to conceal every possible negative impression. Neither did they know that their beloved daughter, being a Muggle-born – a completely meaningless word to them – was going to be a highly attractive target in a future approaching fast and threateningly.

Suddenly, she felt guilty and oppressed by her new responsibilities. Now she was fully aware of how Harry had been feeling for all those years: desperately alone, the weight of a terrible task totally resting over his prematurely burdened shoulders.

While she was overwhelmed by those unhappy thoughts, an acute, deep wave of compassion unexpectedly seemed to spring up from her inner self, travelling at a mad speed through her body and entering her mind with irresistible strength.

Fascinated, she shivered again, welcoming the forceful emotion that had the strange, yet delightful power to make her feel weary and strong at the same time, while she definitely realized that, from now on, she would not be allowed to be the same anymore. Like a phoenix, a new Hermione was laboriously emerging from the ashes of her old existence, and similar to the phoenix, her renewed essence was vibrating with the compelling urge to spread harmony and tenderness into the troubled lives of the unfortunate people called to fight in this insane war.

The mysterious feeling settled strongly into her chest, pervading her with a confused yet immense happiness. Slowly, the new and the old Hermione combined as she tried to recover her calm and determination. Closing her eyes with a satisfied sigh, she leaned back against the comforting presence of a magnificent tree, enjoying the contact with the silent, vigorous friend. Then with a smile luminous with tears, she raised her head and looked around, searching for Harry.

And suddenly, she saw.

************************************

Severus Snape was passively following his master's indications, his mind still incapable of finding a reason to hope. The order received through the vision was to reach one of the caves disseminated in the side of the hills just below Hogwarts castle. But strangely enough, the vision hadn't been very helpful in determining where the selected spot was exactly, thus making it impossible for him to Apparate there. Furious, he had consequently realized that, to find the cave, he would have to walk and properly examine the site.

He knew perfectly well – and so did the Dark Lord – that he could have been easily discovered, taking the risk of walking through the Forbidden Forest. Hagrid was still living in his cottage and restlessly roaming his little kingdom with Fang, as the half giant used to do to bring some peace to his great body. So to be obliged to go there without magic was simply more proof of his impotence and of his master's wicked malignancy.

Moreover, the unspoken orders implied another distressing experience for him. Passing near the gates, crossing the same path he had so precipitately left behind him that night, contemplating the ruins of all that could have been and hadn't... Powerless in his rage, Snape understood that the Dark Lord's intentions also included a cruel determination to remind him of his faults and weaknesses, to reinforce even more the bond the young wizard had sealed with his own blood and tears.

For a long while, Snape sat still and meditated in silence, vainly trying to resist the orders, hating his master and all those who willingly or unwillingly had managed to change his life, turning its course into this living hell. But above all, he struggled against himself, against his desperate yet hopeless need to see Dumbledore and talk with him again – Oh! Why couldn't he? Just one more time! – mirroring his soul in those trustful, serene blue eyes.

Dumbledore had been the only one who had looked at him without the unbearable emotions all the others were unable to conceal: pity, contempt, distrust, hate, even revulsion. Dumbledore had been the only one who had constantly and sincerely behaved as his protector, his friend, sometimes even his... father?

And now, the great wizard was no more, his miserable traitor abandoned, his life and powers submitted to the unpredictable will of a murdering monster. Isolated as he was, Snape totally ignored what had happened in the castle after his departure, what had been said about him and his betrayal, what was being decided in the wizarding world.

He, whose role had always been to know everything, was now completely unaware of even the most insignificant movement around him... and this was the worst torture his restless mind could tolerate. He was used to being alone. After all, he had been alone for his whole life. However, that had been a voluntary choice. To be forced to accept someone else's decisions, to depend on them, to lose control of his actions! These were unbearable sufferings, and the Dark Lord knew it very well.

Minutes passed by agonizingly slow. Then, unable to find a reason to delay any longer, Snape took his black cloak, wishing for a moment that he could hide himself under it as Potter usually did, and prepared to leave. With a resigned sigh, he commanded himself to Apparate to a place he knew very well, having used it for the same purpose during the many years of his secret activities: the dark, protective shadows of a little copse of trees near the Hogwarts gates.

***********************************************

Hermione stifled a cry as she saw the shape of a black clad man moving carefully through the shadows of the trees. Incredibly, the man looked like... Severus Snape?!

Petrified, she was already shaking in fear when she suddenly realized with relief that they had not been seen. Harry, sitting in meditation under a large plant, was completely hidden by its foliage. Meanwhile, she was still leaning against the tree, practically pasted to its massive trunk, carefully controlling her breath.

The dark man so frightfully resembling Snape gave a cautious look around; then like a giant, mysterious cat, he silently began to move through the trees and quickly disappeared, enwrapped in the shadows.

As soon as he was no longer in sight, Hermione exhaled, releasing the breath she had held for fear of being discovered, and swiftly ran to her lost in thought companion.

"Harry!" she whispered anxiously. "We need to leave immediately! I think I saw Snape Apparating in the woods... and he may not be alone! Please, let's go and inform the Order!"

"Snape? SNAPE?!" Brusquely awakened from his trance, Harry opened his eyes in wild surprise. A ferocious expression of joy passed over his face, immediately followed by one of hatred. "We can't let him go, Hermione! He could disappear again! We have to follow him and find out what he's doing here..."

"Harry!" Hermione nearly sobbed in frustration and disbelief. "We can't alone! It's too dangerous! What if he is expecting other Death Eaters... Harry!" she pleaded, grabbing his arm and trying to stop him as he tried to move.

The boy spun angrily towards her. "You can leave if you're afraid! But I won't let him get away again!" he exclaimed harshly, pulling his arm away with a jerk.

Then, looking at her hurt, offended expression, he softened a bit and said excitedly, "Please, Hermione, try to understand. This is our only chance. I won't do anything dangerous, I promise, but I have to know what's going on! Don't you see? This could help the Order and maybe save lives! Oh, come on, let's go after him now!"

Torn between fear and reason, Hermione sighed deeply, knowing too well that, at this point, nothing could stop her friend from his quest. Shaking her head in disbelief, she allowed Harry to lead her away. Watching around carefully, trying not to make even the slightest noise, the two youngsters began to follow the track among the trees.

************************************

Severus Snape was feeling highly uncomfortable. When he had Apparated in front of the gates, hidden in the darkness of the foliage, he had thought he'd felt a presence... But after an attentive scan, he had concluded that nobody was there to possibly endanger him. Still, he was troubled by that first disturbing impression. Maybe it was a trap of the Dark Lord himself? It wouldn't surprise him. Extremely careful as he had always been, Snape proceeded deliberately slowly, continuously checking his path and his surroundings, consequently providing Harry and Hermione an easy trail to follow.

After a seemingly long time, prey and predators finally stopped in front of the dark opening of a cave. The youngsters observed Snape while he looked around in concentration, a strangely hesitant expression playing on his face. Finally making a decision, he stepped forward and entered resolutely, soon disappearing into the darkness.

At this point, a sort of madness seemed to possess Harry. Before Hermione could even say a word, he was already running toward the cave, rushing to reach his worst enemy, the living symbol of all he wanted to destroy.

"Harry!" she moaned, vainly hoping to stop him. Desperate, feeling her legs suddenly weak, Hermione hurried after him, wondering what was going to happen and what she could do to help, to "avoid the unavoidable". The obscurity swallowed her, and she had to blink two or three times before getting used to the pitch black and recovering full sight. And then, looking at the scene, she shivered in panic.

The cave was more vast than it had looked from outside, and many mysterious passages departed from its central room. Snape, still unaware of the danger, was standing in the middle, looking uncertain, as if he was waiting for something.

"Snape!" shouted Harry savagely, materializing from the darkness and pointing his wand at him.

Whirling around in surprise, his former professor immediately reacted to the threat in the boy's voice, lifting his hand with a graceful movement. Two flashes of light erupted almost at the same time and travelled through the cave in an explosion of sparkles. A deep, forceful sound reverberated long and harmoniously as the lights hit the rocky walls, scattering dust and debris all around.

The man and the boy stared at each other with mute fury for a moment. They raised their wands again in cold determination.

"Stupefy!" yelled Harry, but Snape deflected the attack easily, his lips curled in a sarcastic smile.

"You need to do better than this if you want to have a chance with me, Potter," he said smoothly, his eyes glittering with grim satisfaction.

"Impedimenta!" The boy tried again, and the older wizard deviated his spell and cast another one that forced Harry to jump back.

"You lack subtlety, Potter," said Snape in his usual mocking tone, stepping forward and opening his arms as if inviting his adversary to attack. "You always make the same mistakes."

"While you never make any, do you?" Harry retorted, his anger increasing with each spell missing its target. He hated to admit it, but Snape didn't seem to be worried at all. The dark wizard wasn't even trying to strike him down, but barely defending himself. Everything in his attitude suggested great confidence and a damn arrogance.

"At least I try to learn from mine!" replied Snape coldly through gritted teeth, deflecting the boy's spell once more. His movements were elegant and fluid, whereas Harry was wasting his energies trying to find a strategy. Nevertheless, there was something peculiar in the older wizard's attacks, as if something was restraining him from going further.

Still recovering from the shock of this unpleasant surprise, Snape was thinking frantically. How could Harry Potter be there? Was this really a trap? Was it only a terrible coincidence? The boy was no target for him, as he had been cruelly warned. And yet, destiny was offering Snape his revenge on a silver platter... certainly a pathetic object for the immenseness of his hate. Nevertheless it was always satisfying to cast his burning anger on a living being. And Potter had already touched a nerve, with his arrogant manners and his foolishly high self-esteem. There ought to be a way to make him suffer without breaking the Dark Lord's orders!

Surprisingly enough, it was Hermione who intervened. While the two men had been focusing on the battle, she had waited hesitantly, safely hidden in the darkness of the cave. She, too, had noticed that Snape wasn't effectively attacking Harry – his moves were more defensive ones, and his counter spells not as aggressive as they could have been – and she was beginning to wonder.

Her eyes narrowed in concern as she tried to decide what she should do. Finally, she made up her mind. "Expelliarmus!" she cried with one incredibly fast movement of her hand

Taken totally by surprise, Snape tried to keep his balance, but the power of the spell blasted him to the ground, and Hermione grabbed his wand with a quick, "Accio."

Baffled by her action, Harry shot an incredulous glance at Hermione, who looked back at him with that strange, determined expression she had when she decided to do something she didn't want to do but had to be done. The girl joined Harry in a few measured paces, and both teenagers stared unpleasantly at each other.

Panting in frustration, Snape clenched his fists and straightened himself to face his adversaries. Unarmed! Helpless! Defeated! His mind was roaring with fury. A trap, this could only be a trap, and he had been so easily caught in it!

For a long moment, silence filled the cave, the fast, shallow breath of the two men the only audible sound. Finally, a harsh voice broke the emptiness.

"Well then, Potter. It seems that you and Miss Granger have me outnumbered, haven't you? I should have expected it, anyway. You truly are like your father..." Snape said disdainfully, folding his arms across his chest and trying to control his breathing. "He was never alone when he wanted to attack me."

"Shut up!" roared Harry angrily. He turned to face Hermione with a furious expression. "Give him back his wand!"

"Harry..." the girl began hesitantly.

"GIVE HIM BACK HIS WAND!!!" Harry shouted again, pointing his wand at her. "I don't want your help; I don't need your help in this matter! This is between him and me, has always been between the two of us from the beginning, and I want to settle it myself!"

The boy stopped to breathe, almost choking in fury, his arm shaking with the effort of controlling his rage.

"No," Hermione said coldly, her eyes burning fiercely. "I'm tired of seeing everything solved by violence and with violence. That's why your parents lost their lives, Harry. That's why so many other innocent people have been killed or will be... And that's why you cannot kill him before letting him explain the real reasons for betraying us... and for killing the only one who sincerely trusted him."

"Explain?!!" Anger was driving Harry to madness. He couldn't believe that Hermione had interposed herself to protect Snape. "There is nothing to explain! He's a bloody murderer, and he deserves to be killed! Don't you remember? I was there! I saw everything with my own eyes! YOU WERE CRYING UNCONTROLLABLY AT DUMBLEDORE'S FUNERAL! How can you possibly ask me to spare Snape's miserable life now?"

"I can," Hermione simply replied, "and you will have to hex me to stop me."

****************

As always, infinite thanks go to my wonderful betas Jynx67, Pennfana and Notsosaintly.