Chapter 3: House of Love
Chapter 4 of 4
shalimar1981After the war Molly Weasley decides that Severe Matchmaking Tactics have to be employed so everyone will be paired up happily. What does that mean for Hermione and the two men interested in her? Of course, this is Molly Weasely's version of 'happy' we're talking about. Warning: wacky pairings, misunderstandings, machinations and general silliness ahead. Not DH compliant of course. A gift to evie_eros in the Summer Round of the SSHG exchange 2007. Nominated for Best Multiple Partner Story at the Quill to Parchment awards! Nominated at the OWL awards 2008!
Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings are mine. I only play with them for a while.
A/N: I'm happy to finally be able to thank my betas lux_astraea and lady_karelia for all their help and being available literally at the last minute. *hugs* Thanks also to firefly124 for helping with the brainstorming at crucial moments and for helping with the chapter titles. And finally I'm indebted to lux_astraea for all our brainstorming sessions when I came to visit after Easter and in several chat sessions after that. Without her this fic would never have seen the light of day and I would be on Shiv's wall of shame. Thanks sooooo much!!! *death-hugs* Also thanks for supplying the Chinese for Voldemort's new title *winks* She had some really good ideas with regards to the different pairings as well, and is totally responsible about how the foursome turned out. :D
Thanks also to the little one, who deigns to put up with Mommy's writing antics.
* * *
Trials of Matchmaking by shalimar1981
Chapter 3: House of Love
The question how Remus Lupin and Severus Snape managed to get along sharing the attic rooms at number twelve, Grimmauld Place was a legitimate one and easy enough to answer.
In the beginning they hadn't got along at all. There was too much joint history and inequality there for it to be otherwise, though both their new situations (Remus had a nice job as a part-time teacher at a Muggle school, while Snape didn't have anything to do, job-wise or not) had added considerably to the strained atmosphere.
Now they got along quite well, however. Thanks in no small measure to Molly Weasley. Although it might not be for the reasons she'd suspect.
There had been fighting, hexing, hitting, yelling, pieces of furniture flying around, blood and broken bones. All that just because Molly couldn't get the two of them to say a word to each other, and her seemingly infinite patience reached its limit.
When Molly had finally managed to get them to sit down for a talk, they'd exchanged two tight-lipped 'Sorry's and then proceeded to compare their Patronuses both for vividness and longevity, studying the type of Patronus critically (Remus: a sparrow, Snape: a squirrel). As is typical, one had more to show while the other possessed more endurance. The time-honoured male bonding ritual complete, they decided to get along. For now.
And curiously enough they did - after a fashion.
Snape complained that Remus always played his Swing records when he worked, which was basically all the time he was home. They were too bloody cheerful and swingy.
Remus made pointed remarks about the chaos Snape lived in. It looked like a pigsty.
Remus told Snape to stuff it and try to dance to the music instead of complain about it for a change, and Snape told Remus that he thought best if everything around him was in a form of chaotic order and if he didn't like it, he didn't have to look at it.
So Snape brought some of his own sixties music records, and Remus went through Snape's rooms twice a week to collect dirty dishes and the laundry, careful not to disturb anything else. It was the perfect compromise.
This was male friendship at its best, culminating in a weekly let's-get-absolutely-shitfaced-and-listen-to-Quidditch-on-the-wireless ritual.
A typical conversation between the two could be anything from full blown discussions on the latest article in Dark Arts Monthly (a periodical they bought between them surprisingly enough) or a series of grunts, 'hmms' and monosyllabic comments. Of course, the latter was usually only on the mornings after the night they had been getting pissed off their arses.
Today's conversation was a little more involved than the general greetings they usually offered one another at this time of day.
"Lupin."
"Severus."
"What are you doing?"
"What does it look like? I'm marking papers as usual."
"Hmm."
"Yeah."
"Need a hand?"
Lupin looked up. "Not especially. I'm not so keen on making my students cry, you see."
Snape smirked. "Now you exaggerate. I never made a student cry by my comments in the margins of a paper alone."
"I beg to differ. I remember a young Gryffindor first year come crying to me when I had the DADA post that year.''
"Ah, it was a pitiful bunch that year. It wouldn't surprise me. Now that years' third years were much more resilient."
Remus laughed, "Yes, they sure were."
"Especially those three particular Gryffindors of course."
"Yes..." Remus looked up. "Those three. Harry, Ron and... Hermione."
"Ah, Miss Granger, yes. I've been meaning to talk to you about her."
"You... have?"
"I think she'll be next on Molly's list."
Both men shuddered at the thought that they, too, were on that list somewhere.
Remus frowned. "But with whom? Hermione hasn't really shown a particular interest in anyone."
"When has that ever stopped Molly Weasley?"
"True, I feel bad for Ginny to tell the truth"
"The second to youngest Weasley is not much better off right now. Molly seems to be particularly frustrated with those three at the moment."
"What do you mean?"
"You heard them at breakfast. They think she likes you, though I can't imagine why and Molly will undoubtedly try to pair you two off."
"Why are we talking about this, Severus?"
Snape mumbled something Remus couldn't quite understand.
"Pardon? I didn't catch that."
"I want to know what your intentions are."
"My intentions... toward Hermione?" Remus asked disbelievingly.
"Yes, Lupin. I've seen the two of you as well. I've seen how you look at her and your hand on her knee. So what are your intentions towards her?"
"What is that to you? I could imagine Molly, Ron or Harry to come hounding after me, but you?"
"Let's say I have a vested interest in the matter," Snape said curtly and turned away.
"You fancy her yourself!" Remus couldn't believe it: there was actually a slight rosy tinge on Snape's usually pale cheeks.
"I do no such thing. I simply don't want her to be too lovesick to properly finish the Potions project we're working on."
"Bullshit! I can see you like her a lot by the looks of it."
A moment passed and Snape finally inclined his head slightly in agreement.
"Well, I like her as well. A lot actually."
Snape nodded thoughtfully. "That is what I wanted to know." He turned away and walked out of the room.
"Wait! What now? What are we going to do?" Remus yelled after him, but Snape was gone by the time he reached the door.
~*~*~*~*~
A bit later in the day, Molly approached Remus and managed to convince him (coerce would be a better word in Remus' opinion) to talk with Ron.
When they sat in the parlour a quarter of an hour later, Remus watched the younger man fidget for a while before deciding to get to the bottom of this. "Ron? Was there something you wanted? Molly sounded... She said you'd need my 'particular advice'."
Ron started, paling a little. "Well, I... Not really. You see... Bloody hell!" Ron muttered, running a hand through his hair.
Remus leaned forward and laid a hand on the younger man's shoulder, ignoring the other flinching away from his touch. Young men who were still insecure with their own sexuality could be difficult that way. "You know that if there is something you need to talk about, you can come to me, right?"
Ron was looking fixedly at Remus' hand on his shoulder till Remus took it away.
"Ron, you seem to be very tense."
"I'm not, all right?" Ron snapped and took a few steps away from him.
"Ron, what's going on?"
"It's complicated."
"It always is."
A pause.
"Ron?"
"Okay. Well, I'm... There is someone already."
"But that's great, Ron!"
"It's not. No one would understand. This person I like... makes me feel like I have with no one else before. This person is my one, my own. I... I don't want to lose that person." Ron came closer and hesitatingly grasped Remus' hand with a meaningful look. Remus began to feel slightly uneasy.
"I love that person more than anything in the world. But no one would understand. Never! That's why this has to stay between you and me for now," Ron said, grasping his hand more tightly with a desperate look into his eyes.
Now Remus was getting worried. This couldn't mean what it sounded like...
"Of course, Ron. It's going to stay between us for now. Don't worry," Remus said, slowly extricating his hand from Ron's grip and patting the younger man awkwardly on the back. Ron smiled at him and left the room.
Remus slumped into an armchair by the fireplace and stared off into space. Shortly after Molly bustled into the room.
"Well, Remus? What is going on with my boy?"
''Well, I'm not sure what to say. He certainly seems to be interested in someone... I think... He's confused, Molly, and what's more, so am I,'' he said, shaking his head to clear it unsuccessfully
Remus wandered off replaying the conversation and hoping that, as it seemed, Ron didn't suddenly have a crush on him.
~*~*~*~*~
Meanwhile in one of the fancier parlours of Grimmauld Place, which didn't say much...
Lucius and Narcissa walked towards Bill and Fleur who were standing over in one corner of the room, engaged in light conversation with Gabrielle, Fleur's younger sister, about something to do with their son... or so it appeared. Lucius ignored that for the moment, he'd find out later. Right now, they had a task to carry out.
"Bill," Narcissa said softly, "I was wondering, would it be possible to have a word?"
Bill looked up from his conversation and nodded. "I suppose." Kissing Fleur on the cheek he continued, "Shall we go to the library?"
Narcissa glanced at Lucius, who blinked slowly once, not looking directly at her. That meant 'yes', in terms of his body language. "Yes, that would be fine," she told Bill.
Lucius watched them leave the room and turned to Fleur. "I was also wondering if we could have a little tête-à-tête," he asked, inclining his head towards the door.
Fleur looked at him for a moment, as if considering, and Lucius wondered if she had a little inkling as to what was going on.
"If you like," she replied, smiling softly and walking towards the door.
Lucius followed, looking at the nape of her neck as she walked ahead of him. Well, he thought, if she does know, she doesn't seem inclined to stop it. He smirked one of his infamous I'm-a-bad-guy-but-you-love-it smirks.
Fleur lead them to a room further down the corridor and entered, leaving the door open for him. He followed her in and shut the door behind them, leaning on the door, a smirk still on his face.
"What is it, Mr Malfoy?" Fleur asked politely, standing near the desk and looking at the various sheets of parchment littering its surface.
~*~*~*~*~
"Yes, Mrs Malfoy, what is it you wanted to talk about?" Bill asked, shutting the door to the library behind them, which he'd held open for her.
"Well, I was hoping that we'd be able to come to an arrangement," she said, rather cryptically, looking out of the only window in the library.
"Arrangement?" One of Bill's eyebrows rose.
"Yes, concerning this 'custody agreement' that I'm under."
Bill walked to the table in the centre of the room and leant against the edge of it, his hands grasping the table's edge either side of his thighs. "Oh? What was it you... had in mind?"
Narcissa smiled and turned away from the window to face him. "I was hoping that you and I could come to an understanding." She took a few small steps towards him, so they were now only about two metres apart.
"Yes, Mrs Malfoy, what I would like to know is what type of understanding you meant," Bill repeated, a smile on his face.
~*~*~*~*~
"Please call me Lucius... if I can call you Fleur that is?" Lucius said.
"Of course... Lucius," Fleur replied. "Now, what was it you needed to talk about?"
Lucius smiled and moved away from the door towards where she stood by the desk. "Well, first of all I would like to, ah, express my gratitude towards you and your husband about taking on me and my wife under the 'custody agreement'."
Fleur turned to face him, "No thanks necessary, Mr...Lucius," she said. "It was something we felt we should do."
"Hmm, however I still feel that I need to express my thanks," he said, approaching her a little more.
"As I said," she replied, "It's not necessary."
Lucius stopped in his approach towards her, and waved a hand towards the small sofa in the room. "Shall we sit?" He suggested.
Fleur nodded and they both took seats at either end of the small sofa. "Well?" she asked again.
Lucius turned to her, "Fleur, I shall be blunt. I wish to come to an arrangement with you, in terms of this custody agreement." He paused, looking her in the eyes. "An agreement that I hope you will find to be mutually beneficial."
~*~*~*~*~
Narcissa took another step towards Bill. "You know, I've been wondering as to why you decided to take me on. I mean, we'd never spoken before you and your wife came to pick me and Lucius up from the Ministry, had we?"
Bill laughed. "No, we hadn't, Mrs Malfoy. Not at all. And to answer your question, I chose you because I thought you were least likely to cause problems. As for Fleur choosing your husband, well, you'd have to ask her that."
Narcissa laughed, a light sound to Bill's ears. "Yes, I shall... sometime."
Bill smiled and looked at her, a little uncertain. "And this agreement?"
Narcissa took another step toward him, they were less than a metre apart now. "I was hoping that we could come to some sort of arrangement. That with a little... incentive, you could be persuaded to give me a little more free reign, so to speak."
"Free reign?" Bill asked.
"To be able to go out when I wish, on my own perhaps... things like that."
"Oh," Bill said. "What do you mean 'incentive'?"
~*~*~*~*~
"Mutually beneficial." Fleur repeated.
"Yes," Lucius confirmed, leaning back in the seat. "I assume you know what I mean."
It was quiet for a few moments and Lucius never wavered in his observation of Fleur's face. If he had known her even a tiny bit better, he would have known that the slight frown wrinkled her brow for a fraction of a minute was not a sign of thought, but that of triumph. But he did not, and so the moment passed by.
"I do, Lucius," Fleur finally replied. "But I have to ask, what of your wife?"
Lucius smiled, and moving closer to her, he leant and whispered into her ear, "And what of your husband?"
Fleur shuddered ever so slightly as he pulled back slightly, something he didn't miss. She didn't answer and Lucius took this as a sign and kissed her neck once, ever so gently, before pulling back to his previous position.
"They needn't know," he whispered into her ear again, hearing her breath quicken slightly.
"But," Fleur said, "I love... Bill."
"And I love my wife," Lucius replied, "But that doesn't mean this cannot happen."
Fleur pulled back a little to look him in the eyes. "I suppose..."
She didn't finish the sentence as he chose that moment to kiss her.
~*~*~*~*~
Narcissa quickly closed the remaining distance between them and allowed her breath to tickle his neck as she whispered, "Well, I did have one thing in mind..."
She placed both hands on his chest, trailing one down to the top of his trousers and slid the tips of her fingers under the waistband before pausing and looking at his face.
Bill had closed his eyes as soon as Narcissa touched him, his breathing quickening. After a minute, he'd still not moved, and Narcissa considered moving away; perhaps it was a bad idea after all... as soon as that thought crossed her mind, he took action.
Narcissa gasped as he pulled her even closer to him, one hand going around her waist. Her hands flying to his shoulders to steady herself. His other hand went to her head, burying itself in her hair and pulling her closer.
Narcissa smiled and moved a hand from his shoulders, putting her arm around his waist and settling her hand on his arse. "Don't forget the Silencing Charm," she whispered, her breath hot on his ear.
He made a noise, deep in his throat that was almost a growl and, after adding the charm, pulled her towards the chaise-longue in the corner.
* * *
A/N: The chapter title is taken from the song 'House of Love' by Amy Grant.
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Latest 25 Reviews for The Trials of Matchmaking
38 Reviews | 6.16/10 Average
Oh dear, poor Hermes.
"Oi! Spank me, Nevie-kins!" I'm dying here... Loving this story so far, and can't wait to see what happens next!
I like your story, scheeming, romance, tempers, odd couples and houmor is a brilliant combination. I think you should let Lucius, Narcissa, Bill and Fleur come to a very agreeable understanding, of course with Bill and Fleur scheeming and enjoying just as much as our recident Malfoys:-)) For Ron, he wouldn't be in love with Harry, would he? If he is gay at all that is, it isn't the first time Molly would have had the completely wrong idea:-)) Hermione should have both Remus and Severus. She is my absolute favourite character together with the two mentioned "gentlemen", and a threesome with the three of them would be so brilliant, I would be your devoted admirer for a long time:-)) Update again soon!
Hmmm interesting developments. I wonder if the Malfoy's are up to something more than cheating on their spouses.
I've never read anything from the point of view of an owl, but I find it kind of funny...Looking forward to reading more!
Wow, that was an odd artist to choose for the title of the chapter, given the theme of the work. I love wicked Malfoys and the added incentive of the fun they offer. I do hope Ron doesn't have a crush on Remus. That's a little disgusting. I also liked the relationship you described between Remus and Snape. It felt real and totally male.
I can just picture Severus doing just as he did. Silencing spells indeed. *giggles
I think this was a fairly humerous chapter. I chuckeled over most of it!
It's so funny. I regret so much having waited so long to read it.
This is very unusual to have a story told from an owl's point of view. I particularly adore "Cranky Scarecrow".
I love that the aurors would have been hard pressed to take more time answering the calls to prevent the DEs from killing each other. Very amusingly put.Oh this is a delightful tale! I'll be waiting for more.
Wonderful! I love seeing this through the Owl's eyes, and his cute names for everyone. Thanks for such a jolly beginning. I'm off to the next chapter, now!
This is really funny. I'm enjoying it quite a bit.
brilliant molly the matchmaker is at it again and Severus wants Hermione and the bit about Voldermort too funny lol hotdog seller
first off owl pov great ideal. and the way the animal thinks to funny but i can see it. and the way the humans react ... lol. i can't wait to see where you take this. well written
Oh, my. That was just lovely and hilarious. Poor Hermes!
Oh, very funny. I love Voldemort's new name and the fact that Snape et al. are left nearly squibs. I can't wait for more.
oh i can't wait to read more!
Oh, poor Hermes! I really shouldn't laugh at him but I've had days like his and truly, I only commiserating. Very funny and clever. I loved the owl's nicknames for the wizards and witches. Are you going ot post more any time soon?
Oh, dear! Poor Hermes had a very rough day. LOL!
A lovely start with a unique point of view. I look forward to more.
I love seeing things from the owl's POV too cute!
Hmm, intriguing. I can't wait to reaad the rest.
I like the perspective on this one!
What a wonderful beginning. I giggled (at poor Hermes' expense - so sorry buddy) all the way through. Love his terms for everybody. Can't wait for more!!