Yes, it is quite extreme.There will be more Tobias in the next chapter, and in at least ONE more chapter (that following chapter is mostly done but for a once-over, chapter 7, however, is killing me.  I think I've got about 7000 words, and I think I hate about 6999 of them.)  >_<I think . . . Tobias tries very hard and he does do the best he can, but I think that he and Severus are just too different, and that Tobias isn't the father Severus *needs*.  I'm seeing him (at least in this story) as being not particularly demonstrative and communicative, and wholly unsuited to being a single parent of a child with special needs.  (That phrase has such a negative connotation but seriously, in Tobias & Severus' case, I think it fits perfectly).  I'm really envisioning Tobias as an undereducated but shrewd, hopelessly blue-collar bloke who really did love his wife and adores his kid, but is completely bamboozled at the situation he finds himself in.  Even if Tobias were the Best Father Ever, by the time Severus is 16, they basically have NOTHING in common.  Well, really, by the time he's 12.  Or, you know, six.  Not to belabour the SS/HG point, but as Hermione's the only child we see who was brought up in an otherwise normal and loving Muggle family, by the time Hermione's 14, she's *choosing* to spend less time with her parents and not go on holidays with them in favour of spending time with Harry & Ron . . . in the wizarding world.  By the time Hermione's like, about thirteen, she has nothing in common with her parents.So I don't see Severus, who really never learned how to relate to "normal" people on a "normal" level, would really approach the almost completely alienated Tobias about things Severus probably isn't completely grokking himself yet, especially ones he's not particularly proud of, when Tobias is going to have to have every nuance explained to him.I mean, Hermione *OBLIVIATED* her parents and sent them away, rather than try to explain to them and reason with them.  She never even gave them a choice.  That's a fairly profound behaviour.I don't think Severus is relating the wizarding war to a Muggle war because I'm not sure how much exposure to and understanding of a Muggle war he would have by age 5 or 11.  My bet is, not much.As for trying to do something about his mother's death . . . yes.  I hope I can get that across.And Tobias' illness, and Severus trying to do something about it, will come up.I don't think I will ever forgive Jo for giving Severus such horrible circumstances canonically ("canon Severus" never had any reference for normal in his life except Lily — for God's sake his *PARENTS* didn't love him or bathe or feed him!), and then say "he's a deeply horrible person", and then *on top of that*, give him such an ignoble death.  It still makes me angry to think about it.Thank you for the review. I  swear I am working on the next chapter.  I just . . . hate it, and think it sucks. :/  (I think I'm going to end up publishing it anyway, because I don't think I can make it any better.  Meh.)

I hear you about reading the WIPs.  It's so easy to get attached to a story and the author give up on it. 

If it helps any, I know where this story is going; I have it all planned out. And I hate it when a story is abandoned—at least, if it's one I really liked. ;)  So I'm making it a point to not do that to my readers.  

And, um . . . the story's going to get really angsty and sad.  :(

But virtual writing cookies are good!  :D  I can use them to bribe my muse when she's being an uncooperative Gorgon.  Heh.

Thank you for the review, I hope you like the rest of the story.  (Not so sure "like" is the right term for the next *chapter* . . . but . . . it can't really be helped  . . . ) 

I'll fix the other errors (thanks!) but I'd already put their birth years at 1959 when I started this.

Quite frankly, too much of Deathly Hallows is too riddled with errors that contradict most of earlier canon and interviews.  It's not even compliant with <i>itself</i> from page to page.  Jo's already admitted she can't do math, and quite frankly, I'm choosing to ignore the birthdates.  It's the least of canon I'm ignoring. ;) 

This is, after all, going to end up being an SS/HG story. :P

And Snape lives, damnit!  

(And lest my "I literally just rolled out of bed" crankiness fool you, I'm not angry . . . well, not with you.  I hate the hell out of DH, and wrote several railing missives against it, one of which was about 3500 words, and is not even yet complete. This is a huge sore-spot with me, because I was horrifically disappointed by DH, and I KNOW she's capable of better writing, because I've seen her do it).

Anyway, thank you VERY much for the corrections (I'll go make those to the LJ, and to the queue in Ashwinder.  heh.) and thank you for the review, and thank you for reading!

I do appreciate it (and I did literally just roll out of bed). 

Gracious, far be it from me to pick on someone else’s crankiness; my personality is rather like Severus'! However, I do try not to be blatantly rude ... aloud.

I 100% totally agree with you about DH. If she had presented the first book in the 'condition' of the last, the series wouldn't have happened. 

The birth years given in the ‘Lexicon’ were surmised from non-canon information; until DH there was no specific birth year date given for any of the Marauder-era people. However, since you started this before DH, the responsibility for information certain authors refused to share does not, therefore fall on your head.

Oh god, I just realised I'd forgotten to make those changes.  *darts off*

 *darts back* 

I'm really glad you didn't take offence!  :)

DH—ugh.   Someone asked me if I could change "one thing" what would I change.  And I was horrified.  ONLY ONE?!?  I finally settled for it's *horrific* lack of consistency.  If you're really up for a rude rant, I can point you to my LJ where I bascially said "Page 1, this book sucks, because $foo.  Page 2, this book sucks, because $bar.  Page 3, this book sucks because $bash.  Page 4, this book sucks because $baz.  JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST WHO WROTE THIS DRECK!" and went downhill from there.  >_<

Actually, the birthdates in the Lexicon do make sense.  In his OWL year, when Harry is in Snape's Pensieve, he sees his father from 20 years earlier.  Harry's OWL year was spring 1996 and Harry later refers to James' behaviour as something that happened "more than twenty years ago" so it could not possibly have been later than 1975, because at the time of Harry's thinking that, he had not yet started his OWLs (so 1976 wouldn't have been *quite* twenty years previously, much less more than, and yes, I am exactly that anal-retentive).  You have to be at least eleven when you start Hogwarts, so James would have been at least fifteen the September he started his OWL year.  James birth month of March means he would have been 16 when he took his OWLs, as were Lily and Snape.  So his birth year had to have been 1959, and that's assuming the event took place in 1975, and not in 1974 or earlier.

OR, there's an error in the books.  Which there obviously is. But I'm ignoring it, in favour of my sanity.  <_<

Thank you so much.  And you're right, it does give him more to lose.  Most people seem to be enjoying the relationship between Tobias and Severus, and I'm really glad for that.

Thank you for your review! 

I'm so glad you like Tobias.  I really wanted to do something with him other than the typical cliche. 

Severus is still a child at this point  He will brew some things for Tobias later but they'll merely be pallative as the disease he has is too far advanced, and too Muggle, to be helped by magical means.

 Um, not sure how much into Potions I'm going to get, actually . . . which, now that you mention it, makes me wonder why? O_o

Thanks for the review! 

Ah, chapter five has just been sent off to the first of many betas, and chapter 6 is complete.  I am working on chapter 7 now (about 1/3 of the way done).

Don't lose faith, fair reader; I wish to see this tale told! 

Hahaha.  Well Tilden was the right age, you know.  ;) 

 Although I must apologise about the near-miss on your sinuses versus hot liquid. ;)

About the commas:  I apparently stick them in all the wrong in-between places.   *facedesk*

Thank you.  I'm hoping to finish Chapter 5 this week, but it's not looking good! Gack!  Deathly Hallows is almost out!!!

Awww, thanks!  I hope the later chapters can keep the quality (or hopefully improve!)

Thanks for reading and reviewing! 

Naw, Eileen didn't leave any notes.  And I don't think he'll be making friends with Andromeda.  For one thing, he's "sort of" friends with Lucius and Narcissa and they don't approve of her behaviour. 

 I'm trying, desperately, to write chapter 5.  And failing miserably.

I will pass on the kudos to them all. :)

As far as the radio goes, I stole that shamelessly from Azazello on Occlumency.  

And you are correct - Tobias has a combination of byssinosis, or "brown lung" (which he contracted from working in a cotton mill when he was younger) and anthrax (from the wool mill in Yorkshire, but which has entirely different connotations to most American readers).

TWO people (including yourself) have (mentioned to me that they) picked up on that and I'm really quite surprised!

I'm glad you're enjoying the story and thank you for the review! 

SWEET!

Chapter 2 should be up as soon as the admins get to it. :D  And Chapter 3 is ready to go into queue - YAY! 

Why thank you very much!  I'm kind of worried about the next one, though (which is not getting any better since I'm NOT DOING ANY WRITING ON IT LIKE I SHOULD BE!)  *ahem*  >.>

Ah, let me know when you post that?

I've seen people try to argue that the Death Eaters wouldn't use sex and rape, and while I'll concede that perhaps characters in a <i>children's series</i> wouldn't, underground gangs of $whatever_supremecists trying to overthrow the government most certainly have.  Do I think Jo should write about such things and aim the content at twelve year olds?  No.  But I certainly think such things would happen!

Thanks for the review! 

Absolutely, I am of the same thought. The name of the story is "Collide". I'll let you know when it's up.

Thanks,

Livvy 

Oooh, thank you so much. I'm so glad that with new canon, people won't be abandoning my story!

I spent entirely too long trying to figure out what made the guy tick to abandon the project!

Thank you very much.  I have one person who basically glanced at the chapter to get the gist of the story (since she's reading the rest of it) but who didn't really care to read the entire thing, and one who said I gave it too strong a warning.  I personally think erring on the side of caution for this chapter (or any chapter) is a better plan. 

I'm really hoping that i can hold this level of intensity for the entire story.  This is my first significantly long story so I'm really worried.

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. 

Heh.  Yeah, it's, uh, kind of a rough situation for both of them.

Poor Severus.  Poor Lily! 

Thank you so much for the review!  I hope I can continue to hold this level of interest!

I'm sick; I don't want to discuss canon.  >.>

 As for the emotional wall-building, I'm hoping to incorporate that more later in the story!

Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! 

Severus didn't think to ask because, well, he was sixteen.  I think all of us in fanon, (most especially me!), have the tendency to make him act in a way that isn't particularly age-appropriate.  I think Jo had her fair share of this as well. 

 Also, the situation was so strange that at first, he thought the whole thing was a dream.  He happened to not see her between the first visit and finding out the whole thing was a farce, so it took away the possibility that he could discuss it with her. 

 Had he seen her, though, she wouldn't have known what he was talking about and he would have stopped fairly early in the conversation, not wanting to appear foolish, further exacerbating his confusion.

Lily was captured from the Prefect's bathroom by Rosier.   Her friends thought she was studying with Severus.  It was immediately before the OWL exams, so everyone was caught up in their own little study drama, and she slipped through the cracks.

Thank you for the review.  :) 

Thanks.

I'd rather err on the side of caution, particularly with such themes as gang rape of a minor, forced drugging and kidnapping. These are issues that are particularly touchy to some people (and with good reason!), so I'd rather them know in advance. :D

Actually, I'm planning on quite a long saga.  Chapter 6 (fifth year) is finished, chapter 7 (6th year) is underway right now.  I need to figure out what I want to do for 7th year and just out of Hogwarts, if anything.  The Death Eater induction chapter is almost done, and there's at least one Death Eater chapter after that.  Then I'll probably have one chapter cover 1982-1990ish.  After taht I'm planning on one chapter at least per each of Harry's years at Hogwarts, up until 6th year, when it will change (temporarily) to SS/HG and I suspect there will be at least 3 chapters of that.  And there's quite a bit after that, too, not all of which is SS/HG but the end of it will be. :)

I don't know about  double *all* of HP, but it will be pretty extensive.

I'm glad you're enjoying it; I hope I continue to hold your interest!  And thanks for reading and reviewing! 

Ah yes, I really wanted to do teenaged!angst Severus!  Because, you know, a rewarding relationship with his father would be an awful lot to ask.  <_<

Tobias' cough.  Yes, well . . . it's the sort of thing that will kill a bloke.

>_>

 Assuming something else doesn't get to him first.

*ahem* 

I am not entirely certain that you're going to like the next chapter.  It's complete, but it's . .  . vile.  (Tobias isn't in it).  I advise you that when we get to that part, to heed the warnings.

Heh, funny you mention that, because until about July the 20th, I proudly considered myself to be a complete canon nazi.

 Now?  Not so much.  >_>  For the most part, this story will not be DH compliant, because . . . I just can't do that.  And it's not just because my storyline is implausible with the rest of canon (although it's not).  Quite frankly, I simply didn't like DH.  For many, many reasons.

Honestly, I'm awfully glad I'm an SS/HG shipper myself, because I know an awful lot of people are cheerfully going to ignore DH canon and just keep writing, which has kept me sane these last few weeks. 

Aww, I'm so glad you like his portrayal.  Snape is my favourite character and I really wanted to do his childhood justice.  And I like Lily; I know some people think she's a Mary Sue but I think we don't know enough about her yet to decide that.  But that's just me.  :)

Yeah, I like "my" Tobias too.  I really wanted to portray him as hopelessly blue-collar and undereducated, but a stand-up guy nonetheless who was a devoted husband and father.

And I *really* wanted to see Severus getting his shrewd Slytherin behaviour from Tobias.  Wouldn't that just be a kick in the head?  A Muggle, but Slytherin to his core?  ;) 

 Thanks again!