The Break

WARNING:

This chapter is about 10,000 words, and rated NC-17 for content and plot. It contains: identity theft, *e-x-t-r-e-m-e-l-y* dubious consent, emotional blackmail, torture, gang rape, mind rape, drugging and all sorts of associated other unpleasantness, and not necessarily in that order. (Can I call a romance chapter, or what?!) It was difficult to write and is quite frankly very difficult to read. My adult beta readers were seriously disturbed reading this. It's a darkfic, angst and tragedy fic galore! But I've been told it's an interesting read . . .

None of it is graphic and all of it is plot-driven. If you find yourself unwilling or unable to read this chapter, rest assured I take no offense to it. If you need a synopsis (because as I said, it is plot driven), please contact me and I will be perfectly happy to provide it to you. One of my dearest friends isn't even reading the story because I warned her about this chapter; trust me, I won't be the least bit offended.

---

In the early Saturday morning darkness, a lithe figure with gentle curves, long, flaming red hair, and green eyes slipped through a door in the depths of the cold and dank dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, unnoticed by any of the four figures sleeping in warm beds. Shutting the door silently behind her, she padded directly across the room and pulled a heavy forest green drape aside, gliding into the body-heat warmed space within.

With a sinister smirk, she dropped to her knees and slipped the down-filled duvet over her head. With a nearly inaudible, "Lumos!" she illuminated the limbs sprawled across the surface of the bed and with two carefully placed and equally inaudible, "Diffindo!" spells, laid bare the young man beneath the blankets. Inching her way nearly imperceptibly up the bed so as not to disturb her target, patiently waiting for him to relax whenever he moved, she finally reached her target and lowered her head, mouth open.

* * *

Severus Snape stared in a panic at the text in front of him. He had to mix the Unforgiveable-blocking potion he was preparing with the utmost precision, or it would backfire on him, causing the cauldron to explode. But unaccountably, the instructions had become utterly illegible, and at this stage in the brewing if he didn't figure out what he was supposed to do by the time he finished stirring this last time, the resulting explosion would condemn him to a lifetime of Cruciatus from which he could never hope to escape. It was one of the reasons why this potion was so rare...the shielding for each Unforgiveable had to be mixed separately, and doing it wrong caused whatever Unforgiveable that was being brewed against at the moment to be cast upon the brewer, in the cases of Imperio and Cruciatus, for eternity. The problem with Imperio was, because the curse wasn't being controlled by anyone specifically, the victim was openly controlled by anyone. The extremely rare recipe couldn't have picked a worse time to become unreadable.

A sudden blast of cold air alerted him to intruders and utterly shattered his concentration. He whipped his head around in alarm and saw his four nemeses approaching him with predatory looks on their faces, urged along for some reason by his angel-faced dorm mate Evan Rosier. Rosier raised his wand and hissed a spell in Parseltongue, and the four were transfigured into slavering dogs which pounced on him. He leaped away, but one of them landed on him. He flailed hysterically, managing to nearly fight his attacker off when he saw to his horror Devil's Snare winding its way tautly around his thighs, wrists, and ankles, just as one of the dogs lunged at his lower body. He stifled a shriek and realised with mounting terror that the cauldron had melted and the mossy green liquid ("NO, IT'S ALL WRONG!") within was cascading inexorably toward him. Frantically, he tried to cast a wandless containment spell, but his magic seemed to have abandoned him in his panic.

He groaned and tried again, too terrified to struggle against the Devil's Snare lest it amputate his extremities, when a small and remote part of his brain chimed in with the out-of-place information that whatever else the dog was doing to him, it was NOT biting him.

"Oh God no," he thought. "Not now. The potion. THE POTION!" he admonished himself, trying valiantly (and failing) to draw his attention back to the dangerous liquid. "ROSIER!" he screamed. "HELP ME! That potion will kill us all!"

But Rosier just laughed, and the dog continued to not-bite him.

* * *

It took a few moments before he realised he really wasn't dreaming, but the weight of another draped across his lower extremities, to say nothing of what that other was doing to him with its mouth, made it considerably more difficult than it should have been. Ultimately, it was the nasal whistling issuing from Avery's bed that alerted him to his conscious state, and once he realised that, he gasped in shock.

"SHIT!" he hissed and yanked his wand out from under his pillow, casting Muffliato before whipping the blankets away from his midsection. The sight of flaming red hair and alabaster skin spilled across his abdomen and thighs was the last thing he expected to see.

"Lily!" he hissed. "What on earth are you doing here?!"

She withdrew and grinned at him. "Isn't that obvious?" she queried before resuming her previous activities, this time with her emerald eyes glued to his.

Severus thought he was going to black out and inhaled sharply, forcing his hand between his waist and her mouth. "Lily! STOP!"

Lily pouted. "C'mon, Snape, don't you like it?"

"Bzuh! Of course I like it! Isn't that obvious?!"

Severus was so rattled that he noticed neither Lily's terribly out of character pouting nor the fact that she was calling him "Snape."

Lily NEVER called him Snape when they were alone.

"So why'd you stop me then?" she sulked.

Severus felt his skin grow hot. "Things're-about-to-get-messy," he muttered.

Lily licked her now swollen lips seductively and sat back on her heels. "Well, maybe we should do something else, then," she said with a suggestive tone that left no doubt as to what she considered "something else" to be.

He groaned. "We can't," he whispered.

"Why?" Lily asked, a look of confusion on her face.

Severus thought it wasn't possible to grow any redder than he'd been but was proven wrong. "I wouldn't . . . I wouldn't-know-what-to-do . . ." he whispered, wincing in humiliation.

Lily flicked her unusually dark and long wand, and her own clothes disappeared. Lowering her chest to his, she leaned over and whispered in his ear, "That's all right; I'll show you. You wouldn't really pass up the opportunity to land a bird like me, would you?"

Later, as he lay sated, Severus rolled over to cradle Lily's head in his arm. "I do love you, you know, Lily," he whispered. For even with the assurance of Muffliato, he was mindful of his four dorm mates sleeping soundly so near to him.

Lily's eyes gleamed strangely at this pronouncement, and Severus interpreted it as reciprocation intermingled with fear. "I just had no idea you felt the same way." He propped himself up on his right elbow and rubbed his left thumb lightly over her forehead. "I know your sister's been intolerable lately," he said softly, "but if you'd like . . . you can spend the summer, or part of it, with me. It's only me and my father, and I can work it out with him," he offered, lying back down and cradling her to him.

"Perhaps," she replied with a triumphant look on her face. With the sound of this promise on her lips, Severus drifted back to sleep.

* * *

When he woke up later, he was alone and about to chalk the entire thing up to a dream. But as he rose sleepily from his bed to attend to his morning routine, muscles he didn't previously know he'd had screeched in displeasure. He hissed in pain and licked his painfully dry lips, and the rather distinct taste of someone else jarred him fully awake just in time to prevent him from treating the dorm to the sight of a starkers Snape.

"Unmfh," he grunted and summoned his shredded nightclothes to him, eyeing them with alarm and disdain. A muttered mending spell made them presentable enough for a trip to the lavs, and he stumbled from his bed. Rosier's cherubic face was eyeing him intently, and Avery and Wilkes, who were huddled on Rosier's bed with him, whipped around and sniggered.

"Long night, Snape?" Rosier snickered at him, his bright blue eyes glinting with some amusement.

Snape scowled and proceeded about his business, nearly yelping when he saw the hands on the wall clock approaching noon. Good God, no wonder Rosier was giving him stick.

Still groggy, but mindful of the strong scent of sex still clinging to him, Snape stepped into the shower, hoping it would help wake him.

With OWLs only a few weeks away, he'd intended to spend the entire day studying, but due to his unexpected lie-in, he'd lost several hours of valuable time. There was nothing for it. Despite his loudly protesting stomach, he was going to have to skip breakfast...er, lunch...and study straight through until dinner.

He wondered momentarily if Lily would object, then reasoned that with her grades, she'd understand completely. Besides, they had the whole summer to spend with each other.

Decision made, he made his way back to his bedroom, threw his nightclothes haphazardly under the bed, changed into clean robes, gathered his books, and slipped off to the library, heedless of the predatory gleam in Rosier's eyes or the silent shaking laughter of Avery and Wilkes.

* * *

That night, Lily visited Severus again. He'd stayed up and was reading in bed when the heavy drape parted.

"Where were you today?" he asked after recognising her and lowering his wand. "I missed you at the library."

"Oh!" she said, looking alarmed. "Um, I was...I decided to stay in the dorm," she hedged, seeming unaccountably flustered.

Severus frowned at her expression. "You don't have to keep coming down here just because you've already done it once, you know."

"I'm here because I want to be," she assured him as she straddled him with a grinding motion.

He closed his eyes at his immediate physical reaction. "Lily," he groaned. "Look. This is all very well and all but don't you think it's a bit one-sided?"

"What do you mean?"

"Er...I can't help but feel like I enjoyed things last night...this morning, whatever...much more than you did."

She grinned at him. "Well, maybe a little," she admitted with a playful wink.

"I don't find that to be acceptable. If you know what you like, then I want you to tell me."

"Okay," she grinned...and did.

Severus found himself much happier with the results, and when she returned again Sunday night, he put his newfound knowledge to good use.

* * *

Moving silently and in shadow was something Severus Snape had started teaching himself to do at the age of nine after reading a Muggle novel of his father's starring a soldier in a guerrilla war, and having learned how, he did it instinctively. Although doing so occasionally alienated him from his peers, it had its usefulness sometimes. But he had yet to see a return on it the way he was about to.

As he turned the corner leading from his bedroom to the Slytherin common room, he heard the unmistakable voices of Rabastan Lestrange and Evan Rosier speaking in conspiratorial tones, and what he heard them discussing horrified him.

"So...Snape went for it then?"

"Yeah, and get this! He said he loved her, and invited her to stay with him over the summer hols! Something about that filthy Muggle sister of hers. AND he wanted to know what to do to get her off."

Oh god, how did they hear that?

"Good," Lestrange crooned, sounding quite pleased. "All is as we expected, then."

"Yeah."

Here, Lestrange's voice turned husky. "So you were able to get more of the potion from Slughorn?"

Rosier scoffed. "Are you kidding? I could take the whole bloody cauldron and that idiot wouldn't notice."

Lestrange snorted. "And the hair?"

"Yep. All over the Prefect's bathroom. Got more last night right before I went to Snape. Her hair's kinda hard to miss, you know."

"Good. Don't neglect the others, but these stupid exams have me all tied in knots. And I look forward to blowing off steam, if you know what I mean," he said suggestively, turning to walk off.

"Me too," Rosier agreed, following him. "You do know we're going to have to make accommodations so I can experience from the other side, though. I'm enjoying this and all, but . . ."

"Don't worry, I have an idea for that, too," Lestrange said, but just what this idea was, Snape did not hear, as they'd moved out of earshot and he dare not follow him.

Oh no! Lily!

Severus suddenly discovered himself dreading Double Potions later that afternoon.

* * *

Having been stuck to the wall with Treacle Taffy courtesy of James Potter and Sirius Black, Severus slunk into Potions class exactly two seconds before the bell rang. He was aghast to realise the only empty seat was next to Lily Evans who was waving happily to him, much to the amusement of the remaining male (and not a few of the female) Slytherins. He slipped into the seat and hissed at her, "Put your hand down!"

As Slughorn prattled on pointlessly about Chinese Chomping Cabbages, the Slytherin laughter continued.

"What are they laughing at?" Lily whispered.

Severus, who was bracing his pale and horrified face in his equally horrified and splayed palm, shook his head nearly imperceptibly, then grabbed a quill and parchment and made as if to take notes. "Later," he scrawled in the margin closest to Lily, and after giving her precisely five seconds to read it, began scrawling a picture of the stupid vegetation over his note.

Lily nodded, as if in response to Slughorn's lecture, but Severus knew it was meant for him.

* * *

Later that evening, a very frustrated Lily Evans paced angrily in the Room of Requirement. Long experience had taught her and her lab partner that the Fearsome Foursome led by that prat James Potter and Sirius Black had no knowledge of the Room of Requirement, and as Severus was perpetually trying to avoid them, it was an excellent meeting place. They'd spent many hours studying and experimenting in the Room, completely unmolested. Lily and Severus came to the room every Monday and Thursday, as those were the days they had Potions class, and had been doing so since second year. But right now, even with the OWLs looming, studying was not foremost in Lily's mind.

All bloody day, the Slytherins had been sniggering at her. And while that wasn't terribly unusual, it had been more vicious...more personal...than usual. Like they knew something she didn't know, or something very personal about her that she wouldn't have normally told them. Frankly, it was beginning to unnerve her, and by God, she was going to find out what was going on...as soon as Severus deigns to show his face, she thought impatiently. It wasn't like him to be late, much less SO late. She crossed her arms and began tapping her foot in fury.

After what seemed an interminable length of time (but was probably closer to twenty minutes), the door opened and a freshly showered Severus Snape emerged.

Lily frowned. "I thought you normally showered in the morning?"

"I do," he sighed, absently setting his books down on a table that materialised next to him. "But I'm not normally splattered with Stinksap when I walk into the Great Hall, either."

"Peeves?"

"No."

When no further explanation was forthcoming, Lily rolled her eyes and shook her head. "What happened?" she demanded.

Severus looked at her strangely and offered hesitantly, " . . . Potter and Black . . . ?"

"No...why are all the Slytherins mocking me?"

Severus sighed and rubbed his face. Swallowing hard, he took a deep breath. "You...ah...might want to be seated for this," he hedged.

Lily flopped down on the couch against the wall and motioned for him to join her. He took the seat at the other end and chewed on his thumbnail for a moment. "I...ah...I'm not quite sure where to begin."

"How about at the beginning," Lily said sarcastically. He turned to look at her with a slightly confused expression...it wasn't like her to be snide.

"ALL. DAY. Severus, all day, people have been sniggering at me and behind my back. More than usual. I want to know what's going on!"

He took another deep breath. "Very well. Apparently, Evan Rosier procured some Polyjuice Potion and added a hair of yours to it that he obtained from the Prefect's bathroom. And then, rather convincingly disguised as you, he made his way around the Slytherin dormitories this weekend."

Had Lily gone any paler, he would have mistaken her for a ghost.

"Why?" she finally gasped.

"I'm . . . not entirely sure. Because he could, maybe?"

"No...no...why would he do that? Is he gay? I mean, not that there's anything wrong with that, but . . ."

Severus frowned as he considered his near six years association with Evan Rosier, then finally spoke slowly. "I don't believe that he's gay...but he's got the curiosity of a kitten and has never known a day of restraint in his life. With sufficient means and opportunity, the motive can present itself."

"And the others...do they know it was him?"

"Lestrange does...I heard the two of them talking."

"Is he gay?"

"I don't know. I don't think so...Rosier looked exactly like you, but Lestrange certainly knew who it was."

Lily pondered this silently, confusion and fear rippling across her ivory skin, before she was interrupted by her friend.

"There's more," he said quietly. "When he...ah...when he came to me," he offered, swallowing hard, "I, um...didn't realise that it was him...and thought it was you. And I invited him...er, you...to my house over the holidays."

"What do you mean, came to you?" Lily whispered, a dawning look of horror on her face.

Severus closed his eyes and rubbed his head. This was a disaster. "She...you...he . . . whatever," he muttered, avoiding her gaze. "He...ah...came-into-my-bed. While I was sleeping. And . . . well . . ." He coughed, judging by the heat he felt in his face that he probably matched her house colours.

"Well WHAT?!" she demanded shrilly. She hadn't yet blinked since he'd mentioned Rosier's name.

"Lily...I'm sorry. I thought it was you. And he woke me up, in . . . ah . . . a very intimate way. And I was caught off guard, and I was sleeping. And I thought it was you, and I went with it. I'm sorry," he repeated, shaking his head and meeting her eyes. "But it...it gets worse." Would someone just kill me now?

"THERE'S MORE!?" she gasped, appalled.

He swallowed. "He, um, I...eh," is there any way out of this? "I...eh...hinted at . . . emotional attachment, and, er, that's when I invited him...or you...over for the holidays. Only it wasn't you, it was him, and he heard it. And he told Lestrange."

"Oh God," Lily said, looking truly horrified.

"I...um...as near as I can tell...he, ah, 'visited' all the blokes in the dorms. Well, at least fifth year and up...I don't know about the others. It's not something I can properly ask, you know."

Lily goggled at him, finally finding her voice. "I...I would NEVER!" she squeaked.

"I know, Lily, I know. I'm sorry."

She stared at him for several minutes, her brain churning and trying to make sense of what she'd just been told. "When you...when he...but I . . . !"

He turned and looked expectantly at her, not at all certain what she meant by that proclamation. "Hm?"

"I've never . . . I mean . . ."

Comprehension dawned as he saw her face had flushed. "Yes, well, neither had I," he shrugged.

"So how was that not...like...a disaster? I mean...nothing against you! But isn't that like, well, the blind leading the blind?"

"Hm. Well, yes, it probably would have been, except, er...as near as I can tell, Rosier retained all his own memories. HE obviously had more experience, and I strongly suspect that at least some of it was with Lestrange, judging by the conversation I overheard. I don't think I was...ah...the 'first stop.' I know I wasn't the last."

"Oh my God . . ." Lily said, huddling into a ball in the corner of the couch. "I need to think . . ." she said.

"Of course," he said, rising from the couch. "I'll give you some privacy," he said, heading for the door.

"NO! No, don't leave, please? I just...I just need some time. Okay?"

He looked around the room and back at her. "Um. Okay," he said, moving across the room to the furthest corner from her and setting up a makeshift potion lab. He tried brewing for a bit but was unable to properly concentrate on preparing his ingredients and gave up after Vanishing the fourth set. He turned his attention on his Potions homework but was likewise unable to concentrate on that and decided to try to study a Dark Arts manual he'd just received via owl post instead. However, when that couldn't hold his concentration any better, he gave up and just stared at the book morosely.

"Severus?" Lily called quietly.

"Hm?" he said, looking up at her.

"I need to ask you something."

"All right."

"Um, you said that because Rosier had been going to Lestrange, that Rosier wasn't as inexperienced as I am even though he was in my body."

"Er, well...right . . . ?"

"So does that mean that every time he takes new Polyjuice he becomes a virgin?"

Severus blinked. "Ah...hm. I do not know the answer to that, Lily. Nor am I quite certain how I could find out. I can't exactly ask, and if he is, he's not likely to make me the first visit of the night any time soon. He still thinks that I still think it's you, so that would rather destroy his disguise."

"Can he get pregnant?"

Severus cringed. "I don't know."

"If he did, what would happen to the baby when he turned back to himself?"

He shook his head. "I have no earthly idea."

"Would it get ME pregnant?"

Severus shook his head to try and clear it...this was all moving way too fast in directions he hadn't considered. "I don't know. I don't think so."

"Well, what if I got pregnant?"

"You have to be having sex to get pregnant, Lily," Severus pointed out in what he hoped was a perfectly reasonable tone, but the chaotic rapid-fire of her questions was making it difficult for him to hold a thought for longer than a few seconds.

"Yes, yes, I know that but forget that for a minute. What if I did?"

He furrowed his brow, trying fervently to concentrate on what she was asking and give her a realistic answer for a bizarrely unlikely possibility. "I, um...I'm not sure, to be honest. I think it would probably depend on when he harvested the hair or whatever other piece of you he's using in the potion. If the hair came before you got pregnant, I don't think it would make any difference. If it came from after when you got pregnant, it might...but then wait. He wouldn't have had the piece of the baby...I don't know, Lily. Why? Are you pregnant? Are you planning to become pregnant on Polyjuice?" he asked in alarm.

"No," she laughed nervously. "No chance."

"Okay," he said awkwardly, wondering where he was supposed to take the conversation from that.

"Well...what if you got HIM pregnant? Would the baby be his or mine?" she said very rapidly.

He gawked at her.

"Well, what if he was Polyjuiced as you, and he had sex with me and I got pregnant? Would the baby be yours or his?!" she said, hysteria creeping into her voice.

Astonished at the turn this already bizarre conversation had taken, he rose and strode to her. "Lily. LILY!" he said, shaking her slightly when she continued babbling on. "CALM DOWN."

She took a few deep breaths and looked at him.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he demanded. "What's wrong with you?"

There was silence for a few moments before Lily broke it. "I'm really afraid, Severus, that they're going to do something to me."

"That's understandable and not unfounded," he conceded.

"And I've given it some thought. You said Rosier knew what to do because he'd been with Lestrange?"

"Er...something like that."

"And he showed you because he knew. Right?"

"Well . . . yes . . . " Severus had no idea where this new conversation was going but was increasingly getting the feeling that he didn't like it one bit.

"So...does he know what to do because he likes it or because that's what I would like?"

"What?! I . . . I don't know, Lily," Severus protested, having to think that over twice to be sure he even understood the question. "Why?"

This caught her short, and she stared at him for a moment. "If you were with him and if he showed you what he liked, then it had to be what I would like because he's not in his body, he's in mine," she said determinedly.

"R-i-g-h-t . . . " he said slowly.

"So if you've been with him and if he showed you what he likes, then it has to actually be what I would like since you were with him and not really me but it was sort of me."

"Okay . . . " he said, brow furrowed.

"So . . ." she said and looked at him resolutely. "You know what I would like even though I don't know what I would like because you've sort of been with me even though it was really him."

Severus merely blinked, thinking this had already been established. "Yes?" he said hesitantly.

"Do you...do you think they'll do something to me? Directly?" she asked with fear evident in her voice.

He blinked. "I'm not sure. I hadn't thought about it, to be honest. I suppose it's not outside the realm of possibility."

She trembled. "If they do...will you help me?"

He looked at her. "If I know it's you, then yes, I'll endeavour to get you out of the predicament as quickly as I can. But if I think doing so would be more dangerous, then no, I won't."

She nodded and chewed her fingernail. "That's fair enough. I...um...do you think Rosier's going to keep it up?"

He nodded slightly. "Probably."

"And Professor Slughorn won't do anything because Rosier's consenting, right?"

He thought about that for a moment. "I wouldn't count on Professor Slughorn to intervene, no. Certainly not without proof, and at this point it'd be my word against theirs." He shook his head at the futility of that idea.

"Okay, well," she sighed resolutely. "If he comes back to you, then you have my express permission to do whatever you like. He wasn't hurting you, was he?" she asked with sudden concern.

"No," he snorted derisively. "No. He was certainly not hurting me."

"Well then. Okay. I'm going to, um, have an elf get Bertha for me, so she can escort me back to the common room since you can't do it."

He nodded. "Good night, Lily, and again, I'm sorry."

"It's all right. It would be unreasonable for me to hold you accountable for that, especially since you didn't do anything that actually HURT me, so . . ."

He shrugged and started packing up to leave. "Lily?" he said, turning to face her. "That offer...to come to my house for the holidays? It's...it's an open offer. No 'strings' attached," he said, the corner of his mouth twitching wryly. "We've only got a two-up/two-down, but I'll sleep on the couch...you can have my room."

She smiled faintly at him. "So noted. But Severus?"

"Hm?"

"How would you know it was me?"

"Mmm. Well, now that I know it was not you, I think I can tell the difference...I hope. He's quite a bit more forward than you are."

"Yeah, but that's assuming I came to you directly, which they might not let me do. What if I'm not that close to you?"

"Lily, I'll have to confess I hadn't considered that."

"We need a catchphrase. Something that only you and I will know. So that if I say it, you'll know it's me."

"That sounds wise. But what?"

"I don't know," she said, chewing on her lip. She glanced around the room for inspiration as he racked his own brain.

"I've got it!" she chirped. "If I say something about not being on The Pill, you'll know it's me."

"The Muggle contraceptive pill?" he asked. She nodded. "Hm. That's a good thought...none of the other Slytherins are likely to be familiar enough with it to even understand what you're saying."

"That's what I thought. I guess sometimes being a Muggle-born does have it's advantages . . ."

He finished gathering his things and trudged toward the door, pausing before he went through it. He turned back to her, and with a look of remorse on his face, bade her good night.

"Good night, Severus. Sweet dreams."

He snorted. Not bloody likely!

* * *

Rosier, disguised as Lily, did indeed visit Snape again, but with Lily's newfound approval, Severus had no compunction about playing the part. A bit of contemplating the situation left him with some rather interesting theories and far be it for him to discourage experimentation.

But Wednesday night as he disengaged himself to lie down, he thought it prudent to cast forth some misinformation.

"You know, EvanS," he said, placing an unnatural stress on the last letter. "This is all very interesting and all, and while you're certainly welcome to stay at my place for the holidays, don't think you can ingratiate yourself to me now and be dismissive of me later. If you come to my house this summer, I expect the same favours you're showing to me now."

Lily's eyes turned to him, narrowed. Even though he knew what was going on, Snape had to admit this was unnerving. "I'd never think such a thing, Snape. But we're going to have to discuss this later because I have to get back."

"Of course," he sneered. "Your hour is almost up."

"What?" Lily-who-wasn't-really-Lily snapped.

"You only ever stay for an hour. What, is there a timer on the dormitory door?" he asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"I just don't want to get caught out after curfew!"

"Mmm. Of course," Severus replied derisively. "Well, g'nite. Don't let the others see you on the way out. I think Rosier's jealous." And with an exaggerated yawn, he turned his back to his visitor and lay down.

* * *

"Xenophid," Severus breathed and watched the heavy wooden trap door to the Slytherin Common room slide into the wall. He'd spent the last half of the afternoon in the library waiting for Lily to show up and the entire evening in the Room of the Requirement, likewise waiting for Lily, but she didn't show up there either. But to be honest, he hadn't thought anything of it. This close to the exams, it was entirely possible she'd decided she needed revision on a different topic, one that she had another study partner for.

"Snape, Lestrange was looking for you," Regulus Black called from the favoured chair at the fireplace.

He nodded and glanced around the common room, noting absently that none of his dorm mates, or the sixth- or seventh-year boys were there, but thinking nothing of it. "Thank you. Do you happen to know where he is?"

"I'm not sure. You might try the dorms," he said dismissively, waving him off.

Severus didn't even take heed of this and headed to his own dorm room...which was empty. He thought that a bit odd but tossed his bag carelessly onto his bed and went in search of Rabastan Lestrange, heading off to the seventh-year dorms, wondering if Lestrange had called another upper-forms "conference."

This appeared to be the case, as all of the sixth- and seventh-year Slytherin boys, and three of his dorm mates, were standing in a circle around something which he couldn't quite see through the tightly gathered robes. Several closest to the door spun around and pointed their wands at him, and he brandished his in reply.

"Snape!" Lestrange said in a syrupy voice, a diabolical look on his face. "SO glad you could join us!"

Severus merely raised his eyebrows in reply. "I've just gotten back from revising. Exams begin in a week. Black mentioned you were looking for me?"

"Yes," he crooned, waving two of the boys, who'd turned their attention to whatever was in middle of the circle, aside so that they'd make room for him, and stepped forward.

To say that he didn't expect to see what greeted him was an understatement. Evan Rosier was vigorously fucking Lily Evans' body, and Severus looked in alarm at the glazed-eyed girl lying passively on the floor. But after a moment's consideration, he realised that Lily wouldn't behave that way...if she were there against her will, she'd be fighting tooth and nail, and if she were for some ridiculous reason there by her own volition, she'd be a far more active partner. He put the thought utterly out of his mind and assumed it was one of the other Slytherins...either one of the girls or a younger boy.

"Em," he said to Lestrange with a sidelong glance of distaste at Rosier and his partner, "I'm really not much in the mood for a gang-bang." He made as if to withdraw and found wands drawn on him again. This time Lestrange affixed him with a glare that brooked no argument.

"Oh. But we insist," he said darkly, holding his wand at such an angle that Snape caught a flash of black against pale skin. His eyes flew wide with recognition at the brand on Lestrange's arm. "The year is almost over, some of us are moving on to bigger and better things, and we shan't get this opportunity to bond like this in school again."

" . . . Right . . . " Severus said, recognising the situation for what it was and resigning himself with a quiet sigh.

At that moment, Rosier finished with a strangled grunt and sat back on his heels, panting. After a few moments of catching his breath, he laughed maniacally. "Dear Lord...that's good shit!" he sniggered with a triumphant look at Lestrange.

"Mmm. Indeed. I certainly enjoyed it," he said, and with a flickered glance at the girl who was starting to move a bit, turned his attention to Snape. "You're next. And you'd better be quick about it," he said, glancing at his watch.

Severus sighed and moved to the girl's feet. "Oi, Rosier. Cast a cleaning charm; that's disgusting!" he said with a grimace.

Rosier stood up and with an annoyed flick of his wand leered at Snape. "You could have cast it yourself, you know," he sneered.

"It wasn't my mess!" Severus countered, manoeuvring himself into position.

He noted Lily's emerald eyes on him (don't think about that right now . . .) and for effect twisted the girl's body into one of the more contortionist positions Rosier had shown him when Rosier was under the impression Snape still thought he was Lily. He closed his eyes to try to build his concentration, which was shattered by the crowd of onlookers, and shifted his weight forward, his lank hair falling around his face like curtains, blocking his view of the others.

"Severus!" the imposter beneath him whispered, nearly inaudibly, but in a voice of panic. He opened his eyes slightly to look at her. Nobody called him Severus except his family . . . and Lily.

"Whatever you do, don't stop! Don't let them know I'm talking to you!"

He frowned.

"Don't stop! But the potion is starting to wear off, and I'm freaking out. Severus, you've got to help me, you've got to get me out of here ... you PROMISED!"

"What?" he mouthed. What potion? What is this idiot talking about?

"They slipped me the Draught of Peace, Severus, PLEASE! You've got to help me; I'm really scared! I'm not on The Pill!"

Severus froze, feeling his blood turn to ice in his veins.

"Nononono!" Lily, who was really Lily, whispered shrilly. "Don't stop! They can't know that you know or I know, or they'll kill us!"

He gave a tortured groan. This cannot be happening. I am not raping my best friend in front of an audience. "Unf. Move your leg," he said, more for an excuse to have stopped than because he really wanted her to move her leg. Think, damnit, think!

But it was happening, and he knew she was right.

"Severus, help me. Please!"

"All right," he whispered, nodding. But he had no idea how since he didn't have a phial of the Draught of Peace on him and didn't like at all the conclusion he came to. The fact was, it would be absolutely perfect in present company.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he whispered, "but it's the best I've got on short notice. Don't fight this. Imperio!"

The glazed look returned to Lily's eyes, and Severus threw all his concentration to how he was going to get them out of there as soon as possible.

"Snape!" Lestrange hissed, "Don't get any bright ideas. We want to make sure you follow this to completion. So do it where we can see."

It didn't escape Severus's notice that all of them now had their wands drawn and on him. He emptied his mind and put everything he had into the task at hand, knowing his very life, and Lily's, depended upon it, having learned long ago in the that he must always do whatever needed to be done.

When all was said and done, Severus stood, his knees threatening not to hold him.

"Take her back to the Gryffindor common room and administer this antidote," Lestrange commanded, tossing him a clear crystal container.

" . . . What?!" Snape demanded, privately glad for a publicly acceptable outlet for his emotional turmoil. "You kidnapped her? Have you lost your mind? Dumbledore will have us all expelled!"

"MIND YOUR TONGUE, Snape, and show some respect!" threatened Lestrange darkly. "It matters little. And what need have I of exams? I've learned here everything I can and am moving on to greener pastures in a simple matter of days!"

"Not all of us are so fortunate, Lestrange. Any one of us expelled before OWLs cannot legally practice magic, and not all of the sixth years are of age."

Lestrange waved off Snape's tantrum. "No one is going to be expelled. That imbecile Dumbledore is hamstrung. My father is on the Board of Governors, as is Rosier's, as is Avery's and Wilkes'. And might I add, Abraxas Malfoy is the Chairman of the Board of Governors, and Nott and Mulciber, also on the Board of Governors, are in his pocket. And what, exactly, did you think was going on here, anyway?"

"Rosier's been to me every night for weeks!" Lestrange shot a shocked and angry glance at Rosier. Severus continued. "I assumed it was someone else he'd Polyjuiced!" Well, that wasn't exactly a lie . . .

"You knew about that?" Rosier asked, obviously flustered.

"I've shared a bloody room with you for nigh on six years! You think I haven't picked up on your speech patterns!?"

"SILENCE!" Lestrange boomed. "Take. This. Filth. Back to her Common Room. Ease your mind about expulsion, and I'll hear no more of it!" he said, shooing Snape off.

Severus glowered at Lestrange murderously for a moment but turned his attention to the girl curled in a heap at his feet. Fuck. She's fighting it. "Get up," he commanded and threw a non-verbal Imperius at her as Rosier tossed her robes back onto her. "Get dressed," he said with a scowl on his face and watched as she roboticly complied. "Come here," he commanded when she'd finished, and when she approached him in a daze, he tapped his wand over her head, Disillusioning her.

So engrossed was he with getting the two of them out of the dungeons, preferably unnoticed, that he missed Lestrange's knowing glance to Rosier and Rosier's obedient nod.

And so caught up was he in his own internal turmoil that he didn't notice Rosier following them all the way back to the Gryffindor common room. He bade her, "Go into the common room," lifted his Imperius Curse and watched her step over the threshold...and was utterly taken aback when he heard Rosier's triumphant, "Obliviate!"

Severus turned in wide-eyed shock to his dorm mate. "That spell's restricted by the Ministry!" he hissed. "Have you gone completely mad!"

"So's Imperius, Snape. She hadn't enough potion to be so docile for SO long. It was wearing off when you showed up. No loose ends, eh?" Rosier said with a wink and sauntered off.

Severus stared at his retreating roommate for long moments at a loss. He knew there was no possible way he could go back to the common room and face those vile betrayers. And it was after curfew, so he couldn't possibly get away with leaving the castle grounds at this hour. Feeling inexorably trapped, he headed for the Astronomy Tower, heedless of the door swinging open behind him.

He was very seriously contemplating flinging himself off the tower when he heard one of the two things he least wanted to hear.

"Severus?"

Oh God. Gods above and below, please just strike me with lightning and kill me now. Please. I beg you.

He swallowed hard. "Lily."

"Severus . . . I feel very strange."

I'd bet you do.

"Lily, it's not safe for you to be out at this hour. Come on, let me walk you back to your common room."

She complied, still clearly out sorts, which worked in Severus' favour as he was in no condition for conversation.

They had almost reached the comparative sanctity of the common room (and what will you do then?) when he heard the other thing he least wanted to hear.

"Good evening, Master Snape, Miss Evans. I'm sure whatever has a young Gryffindor and a young Slytherin out wandering the corridors at such an hour would make for a lovely bedtime story. Care to join me in my office for a cup of tea?"

Severus whimpered.

* * *

"Lemon drop?" offered the headmaster pleasantly. Lily, still in bit of a disoriented daze, took one politely...Severus stared unseeing at a spot on the floor.

"Severus? Lemon drop?" the headmaster asked when the boy didn't acknowledge him.

The occupants of the portraits murmured quietly amongst themselves.

"Severus?"

"Severus Tobias Snape!" snapped the sallow-skinned portrait of Everard Prince, causing Severus to jerk back to the present.

"Huh?" he asked, blinking dazedly at the portrait of his great-great-grandfather.

"The headmaster asked you a question."

Severus turned eyes so devoid of life to the headmaster that for a long moment, Albus Dumbledore genuinely feared the boy had been made into an Inferius. It was his dazed weaving that convinced him otherwise, as the boy was barely breathing.

"Severus. What is wrong? Whatever has happened?"

Severus only shook his head minutely, unable to speak.

"Severus?"

Severus shook his head again slightly, then with a second's pause, again more vigorously, and eventually held his face in his hands and started rocking back and forth.

"Severus?" Lily gasped in alarm, reaching out to her friend. He hissed and yanked his arm away.

"DON'T! Touch me!" he spat viciously at her, and Lily pulled away in confusion.

Dumbledore watched this interplay with increasing alarm and rose abruptly, striding to his fireplace. He reached into a small bucket on the mantle to grab a handful of power, which he threw in the fireplace. "Potions Master's office!" he called and sank to his knees, sticking his head into the green flames. "Ah, Horace. Do you happen to have any Veritaserum?"

"Of course, Albus. I always have all known potions on hand."

"May I have it? And the antidote?"

"Straight away," the old man said, waving his wand and summoning the two bottles to him, Levitating them into Albus' waiting hand. "Anything I can help with? Or should be aware of?"

"No, I think I've got it. If something requires your attention or assistance, I'll come for you."

"Fair enough, old man."

"Thank you, Horace."

Dumbledore withdrew from the fireplace and turned back to the two students in his office.

"I'll take it," Severus said in a voice that again called to mind an Inferius. "I'll take the whole bottle...just don't...don't make her listen," he said, finishing in a whisper.

Dumbledore poured three cups of tea from a service which had appeared on his desk and withdrew a sharp silver dagger from his desk. With Lily watching in shock, the Headmaster very carefully poured a single drop of the powerful truth serum onto the blade of the dagger, causing half of it to fall into the cup he handed to the black-haired boy in front of him and the other half to drip back into the bottle from whence it came.

"Do you know what this is, Severus?" Dumbledore said after placing a heavy stone basin on his desk.

Severus flickered his eyes toward the desk and shook his head slightly.

"It's a Pensieve. If there is something you wish me to see, you have need only to think about it with your wand to your head, and you may withdraw it from your mind. If you drop it into this basin, I can view it as an impartial third party."

Severus raised his deadened eyes to the Headmaster. "I have to think about it?"

"Well, it's that or you must tell me," he said, gesturing at the untouched cup of tea.

Severus paused for moment before he raised his wand to his head. He did so four times, a voice in the back of his mind noting that he felt no untoward compunction to disclose that which he didn't feel absolutely necessary, which would not have been possible under Veritaserum, but ignored the voice and simply waited for Dumbledore to pull out of the Pensieve, during which time Severus repeatedly rebuffed Lily's attempts at conversation and with increasing hostility. The poor girl was on the verge of tears when the Headmaster sat up and affixed Snape with a piercing stare.

"What do you think I should do now?" the Headmaster asked, his skin unusually pale.

"Why . . .would you POSSIBLY care . . . What. I. Think?" Severus asked.

"I find it advisable to garner the impressions of my students from time to time . . . "

"If I asked you to put me out of my misery, would you?"

"Severus!" Lily admonished as Dumbledore sighed and said, "Of course not."

"Then it doesn't matter what I think," he said with finality.

"Think about what?" Lily asked. Severus had no desire to contemplate where Rosier had gotten such experience casting Memory modification charms.

Dumbledore sighed and held his hand up to Lily to indicate that he'd heard her and would address her momentarily. "Unfortunately, Severus, I believe the youngest Lestrange is correct. I cannot legally prevent him from taking his exams without an expulsion, and the Board of Governors requires a two-week advance notice to ratify a recommended expulsion. Nor has it escaped my notice these many years that he is right-handed, so I am fully aware that him raising his wand to you with his left was an untoward threat. At this point I can only offer both of you protection. Miss Evans, I must inform you that your memory has been illicitly modified . . . "

"What!? By who?!" she gasped with a frantic look at her headmaster and her best friend.

"By someone who means you harm. And while I am normally loath to do such a thing, with your OWLs looming I must consider that it may be better to allow you to concentrate on your tests. After the exams are over, we can discuss returning your memories to you."

"No!" Lily insisted. "No. If my memory has been modified, I want the memories back."

"Miss Evans, I don't think you fully understand the gravity of the situation. Memory work is very difficult and very time-consuming. It is also very delicate. A single misstep could have your mind permanently altered...a single twitch at the wrong time could erase all your knowledge you've struggled so hard to obtain these past few years. I won't endanger your mentality and your career by trying to rush it."

Lily opened her mouth as if to protest but scowled at the Headmaster and snapped her mouth shut with a huff.

"The both of you should spend the rest of the weekend in the hospital wing. I'll arrange for your Heads of House to gather your necessities...personally." Dumbledore said with a knowing glance at Severus. "You may use my Floo connection," he said, rising and offering the small bucket to his students.

Severus stepped into the Floo and let a handful of Floo powder fall at his feet, to which he flatly intoned, "Hospital wing." He knew the night could not possibly get any worse and was genuinely looking forward to a bottle of Dreamless Sleep...then his earlier knowledge was proven wrong as he looked up into the smug gaze of Rabastan Lestrange. At that moment, Dumbledore stepped gracefully out of the Floo and saw Lestrange eyeing the younger boy with a self-satisfied smirk. Madam Pomfrey, drawn by the sound of the flames, bustled over to the Headmaster.

"Give this to Mr. Snape," Dumbledore said, thrusting a bottle of Veritaserum antidote at Poppy, noting that the fleeting look of panic on the elder boy's face was replaced with a knowing sneer. "Treat them both for shock and leave them here all weekend."

"Of course, Headmaster," Poppy said, obviously flustered by the old man's abrupt demeanor.

* * *

On Sunday night, the Headmaster found Lily huddled on her cot in tears. "What's wrong, dear?" he asked kindly.

"I-it-it's Severus!" she wailed. "I don't know what's happened, and he won't speak to me! Every time I go to him he acts like he's asleep, but I know he's not because his breathing is irregular!"

He patted the distraught girl's back sympathetically. "Perhaps, dear, here is neither the time nor the place to confront him?" he offered gently.

Lily simply buried her head in her pillow and bawled.

Three beds away, Severus Snape was envisioning a man (who bore a startling resemblance to Tobias Snape) building a brick wall around his heart and mind.

Released from the Hospital Wing Monday morning just in time for breakfast, Snape made it a point to leave the Great Hall when his dorm mates did and walked with them to double Charms and also Potions class, arriving well ahead of Potter and Black and managing to slide into a seat next to Evan Rosier. The two were hunched over in conspiratorial conversation when Lily Evans walked in. Seeing the seat next to her customary spot empty, she looked around and catching Severus' eye, showed a slight expression of disappointment, and in response, Snape leaned over and whispered something to Rosier that had them both sniggering. Shock and disappointment flickered across her face, and she threw her books angrily onto her desk.

In the back of the room, the little man in Snape's head spread another layer of mortar.

Later that afternoon, Severus did something he'd not done before...he left class early to go to the Room of Requirement. He was of a mind to gather his belongings before Lily arrived, and skiving off the last twenty minutes of a class taught by a ghost seemed a prudent gamble. However, the castle apparently had other ideas. All the stairways happened to move the wrong way, and he arrived at his normal time. He was desperate to leave before Lily arrived, but such was not the case, as she walked in as he was gathering his things.

"What are you doing?!" she demanded shrilly.

Without facing her, he replied in a voice totally devoid of emotion, "I would think that would be obvious to someone of your intelligence, Evans."

Taken aback by his uncharacteristic use of her surname, she fumbled. "But end of term isn't for two more weeks!"

"Thank you, I am aware of that," he replied dully.

She started crying. "Why are you doing, this, Severus, WHY? Did you conspire with them? Did you come up with the idea of Polyjuicing Rosier just so you could feel like you were getting in my pants?"

He flinched and rose to his full height, taking a long, deep breath. In a gesture that would become a trademark for him later years, he whipped around and pulled his robes closer to him in a protective gesture. "You think whatever it is you need to think," he hissed at her. "Stay away from me, for your own good...they only went after you because of me. They kidnapped you, drugged you, and gang-raped you because you are my friend. And what you don't remember, because you were Obliviated so you wouldn't report them, is that I participated, Lily!"

Crying harder, she protested, "Why are you saying that? Why are you claiming responsibility for something I know you didn't do? That I know you aren't capable of?"

"I AM capable of it, and I DID do it!" he snapped at her viciously.

"Why!? You said you'd protect me!"

He looked away and shook his head angrily before glaring at her. "Lestrange has taken the Mark, and we were surrounded by every other Slytherin male fifth year and up, Lily, wands out and trained on me. Had I not complied, we both would have died. Somehow, they'd slipped you the Draught of Peace, which was wearing off by the time I showed up, and to get you to comply I cast an Unforgiveable on you."

"You tortured me?" she gasped.

"Cruciatus?" he snorted derisively. "I rather think being passed around was enough torture. No, I cast Imperius on you."

"I'm immune!" she protested.

"Not if you don't fight it," he said frankly and continued gathering his things.

"You don't have to do this!" she insisted, and he whirled around.

"Oh but I do, Lily. If not me, who? If not now, when? This war has been going on for over FIFTEEN YEARS. It was milder in the beginning. The Ministry would have you believe it's only been going on for five, but they are delusional. My mother was murdered by Rosier and Lestrange's fathers when I was SIX. They tortured her with her own wand, and they burnt her alive before killing her. Avery's father was probably there, too. They own the Board of Governors, and most of the Ministry has been bribed. It's not going to change until someone brings them down from the inside."

"You would forsake me for them?" she whispered.

"Do not mistake 'for' for 'because of,'" he said, moving toward the door.

"I HATE YOU!" she screamed at him, and he whirled back around and advanced on her.

"If hating me is what it takes to keep you safe, then I would gladly hand you the ammunition as fast as I could load it. Trust me on this, Lily . . . stay away from me," he said darkly and walked away without a backward glance.

* * *

Author's Notes:

If you'd like to be kept abreast of any "news items" for this story, you may check here: http://cmwinters.livejournal.com/tag/eap . I post entries there publicly.

Special thanks go to Hachi for the idea of the dream sequence, PauAmma for the Devil's Snare idea, and Spyder for the Body Bind idea, even if that's not what they intended to imply. You guys are FANTASTIC.

Apologies for the length of the update; this chapter has been done for some time but I'm not done with the next chapter yet, and I figured a really short update time between 5 and 6 followed by a REALLY long one for 7 would upset more people than make happy.

As always, thanks a million to my beta team, who have frankly analysed this chapter and given me feedback on it for several months.