Chapter 7: The Summer After Seventh Year

A/N: There will be one more chapter after this one; I will post it later today, God willing. Keladry Lupin, MagicAlly, DeeMichelle, and sshg316 all did an amazing job of reading and returning within twelve hours. I adore them all, and mistakes within are mine.

Chapter 7: Summer After Seventh Year

Lily sat in a compartment crowded with admirers, the lot of them giddy with excitement – their seventh year of school was behind them, and they were riding the Hogwarts Express for the last time. Rafe Davies, the Ravenclaw Quidditch captain, had the place of honour beside her on the bench, but even though she smiled and laughed at appropriate moments, her thoughts were elsewhere.

In the next compartment, the four so-called Marauders sat together with a number of girls. They were laughing and joking as loudly as the group in Lily's compartment, but James Potter had a far-away look in his eye. Sirius Black, a faint frown of worry upon his handsome brow, glanced frequently in James' direction.

At the very end of the train, in the car traditionally reserved for the seventh-year Slytherins, a composed, assured Severus Snape sat amongst his gang and their girls, drinking the champagne provided by the founder of the private Leaving Feast they would be celebrating at the end of their journey to King's Cross Station. There was a special meeting scheduled for tonight – one that would set his feet firmly on the path to the success for which he longed – and nothing would prevent him from attending that all-important gathering.

The previous autumn

Returning to school was disquieting for Severus. Lily continued to behave toward him with affronted sadness, as if he had done her some great personal injury by snogging Pepper – never mind how many blokes she had snogged along the way. In addition, she was openly Potter's girlfriend now. The two of them, Head Boy and Head Girl, were so squeaky-clean and perfectly matched it made Severus want to vomit.

In addition, it seemed all his gang of Slytherin mates had spent the summer socialising with Lord Voldemort's followers. Severus was the only one amongst them who had to work for his pocket money, and he had been forced to decline two separate invitations to house parties at Malfoy Manor during the summer months. He had made up for it, however, by seeing Mr Lucius Malfoy a few times over the course of the summer at Ye Olde Apothecary, where he was employed. Malfoy had been gracious and generous, telling Severus that he respected a young wizard who worked for his gold, and that Lord Voldemort would feel the same. Severus had felt relief to know that the others in his gang had not got ahead of him in the race to make a good impression on his lordship simply by having been born into families with more gold than Severus'.

At first, back at school, he was surprised to find that he missed Pepper. In school years past, he had seldom thought of her from one summer to the next. However, as the weeks went by, and he did not see her, the hold she had on his thoughts seemed to lessen, and the attraction he had felt for her began to fade. He was pleased when she intruded upon his thoughts less often; he had never understood that odd phenomenon, anyway.

He and Lily were working on their seventh-year Potions projects now, and for that reason, their paths crossed frequently outside of class. In Pepper's absence, Lily seemed more relaxed in Severus' presence, and her usual friendly attitude resumed. She never came too close, though, and she was careful not to be alone with him.

Severus brooded over Lily's elusiveness. Even though they were not a couple, each year had involved one or two occasions when Lily's true feelings would assert themselves, and she would end up in his arms, where she belonged. They were in their final year now – they had both said they could be together when they left school. Why was she more distant from him now than she had ever been?

Just before the Christmas hols, he decided to orchestrate a meeting and see what would happen. Early one Saturday morning, he went along to the Potions laboratory. It was his custom to spend the afternoons working on his project, whilst Lily had taken to working on hers in the mornings. Just as he had hoped, he found her there, decanting the first batch of her Wolfsbane Potion project.

Lily startled when Severus strolled into the room. 'Severus!' she gasped. 'I wasn't expecting you!'

He paused in the doorway with a show of diffidence. 'Shall I go, then?'

Lily flushed. 'No, of course not – come in.'

Severus smirked and approached her worktable. 'I'm glad you didn't send me away,' he said, slipping his hand into his robes. 'I've brought your Christmas gift.'

He stopped just beside her, standing closer than he had done in months, and smelt the mixture of her herbal shampoo and her perfume. Lily shifted nervously, abandoning her cauldron and stepping away from him.

'Oh, you really ought not to have done that,' she said. 'I don't have a gift for you.'

He pursued her in a lazy fashion, as might a cat who stalks a mouse. 'It's just a trifle,' he said, placing the box of Honeydukes finest chocolates on the table within her reach. 'I remember how you like truffles.'

The green eyes flicked to the sweets. 'Those are my favourites!' she said, and her hand reached forward to take the box.

In a flash he conjured the seasonal parasite over her head and moved forward, his hand closing about her wrist, pulling her deftly into his arms. 'Mistletoe,' he said by way of explanation when she squeaked and pushed against his chest. He held her to him with one arm, and with his free hand, he tilted her face up. 'Happy Christmas, Lily,' he said before bending his head and kissing her.

Lily twisted in his arms, pushing him, trying to turn her face away, but she was helpless against his strength. At last, she relented, becoming passive, ceasing her struggle and permitting him to deepen his kiss. He invaded her mouth with his tongue, experiencing the intoxicating warmth for the first time in over a year. Very soon, her hands were clutching at his jumper, then sliding into his hair.

It came as a complete surprise to him when she pushed away and stood barely a foot from him, panting and staring. Severus felt his heart hammering in his chest and was on the cusp of reaching for her again when she pulled her hand back and slapped him sharply on the cheek.

'Have you lost your mind?' she demanded angrily. 'How dare you treat me like some pub-crawling tart!'

Severus rubbed the sore spot on his jaw, glaring at her. 'Have you lost your mind? For the love of Merlin, Evans, it was only a snog!'

Her hands descended to her hips and Severus was eerily reminded of Pepper, in full strop. 'In case it's escaped you, Severus, I have a boyfriend now – a real boyfriend. I don't mess about with other blokes anymore.'

Severus shook his head, speaking placatingly. 'We'll be out of here in six months – out in the real world – we won't have to be apart any more.' He loathed the desperation he heard in his own voice.

What was worse was the pity flashing across Lily's face. 'I know we used to say that,' she said, 'but we were just kids. I – I love James – and he loves me. We're together now.'

Severus took an aggressive step towards her. 'So, he's in your knickers? Is that what lurve is all about?'

Lily's chin came up and her green eyes flashed dangerously. 'Of course he isn't! Not that it's any of your business.' She turned her back on him to begin to fill the labelled phials. 'Have you finished your first batch of the Wolfsbane?'

Severus watched her trembling hand on the ladle, the memory of her tongue flicking into his mouth fresh in his mind. His eyes narrowed as she tried and failed to pour potion into the small glass container.

'Keep telling yourself that, Evans – that you want Potter. The truth is, of course, that you want me – that you always have – but that you're too ashamed now to admit it. I'm not popular enough, not rich enough, not respectable enough to suit you anymore.' He glided up behind her and placed his lips next to her ear, careful not to touch her body with his own. 'You'll come back to me. You'd best hope that I've not moved on when you get around to it.'

He turned to stalk from the room, only to feel something solid collide with his shoulder blade. He spun to see the fallen box of chocolates on the floor and Lily a few feet from him, her face twisted and unlovely in her fury.

'You have Pepper!' she screeched. 'She's the one you want now! You did move on!'

Severus stooped, retrieving the battered box of sweets, and walked up to her. 'Pepper and I had an arrangement for the summer, to make you and Potter jealous,' he said silkily, feeling hopeful again at this show of passion from her. 'The summer has been over for months.' With a swish and a flick of his wand, he sent the Honeydukes chocolates floating back to Lily's worktable. 'Go on, be the Head Boy's girlfriend – I don't care. But when summer comes again, you'll call for me – and I'll come.'

He didn't stay to observe her entire reaction; the look of confusion on her face as he finished speaking was good enough for him. He walked from the room with a show of confidence he didn't entirely feel.

Lily sat in her dormitory, her brain seething with bewilderment. Why could Severus do that to her? Why could he sweep into her life and complicate everything? She had been feeling very confident about James, very sure of her feelings and her plans, until Severus had swept her up into his arms and kissed her. There was something about him – something about the responses he stirred in her – which was entirely unsettling.

With a heavy sigh, she broke the seal on the box of Honeydukes chocolates and popped one into her mouth, relishing the creamy rush of flavour.

That was something else – a major difference between the sense of a kiss from James and a kiss from Severus. She was becoming more aware now of Darkness in the objects and people around her. There was, and likely always had been, a Dark aura about Severus that she had never known how to detect before now. Kissing James was like drinking clean, fresh mountain water; a kiss from Severus was like ingesting a dangerously addictive intoxicant. James was the purity of life's elemental water; Severus was the Dark enslavement of forbidden absinthe.

It did not help matters that Severus seemed to have matured overnight. He was still whipcord thin, but he carried himself with a new, cat-like grace, and his manner had become less caustic, more enigmatic. He didn't seem to be watching her as he had done in years past – she had grown accustomed to that behaviour from him – but he seemed quite occupied with pursuits of which she knew nothing. What did he get up to these days?

She realised that in spite of his new poise, Severus was broken. It was not his fault; the loss of his family, followed by living as a refugee in his grandfather's home, had forever damaged him. She knew her attraction to Severus was treacherous –but knowing it, why did she still crave him so?

The scarlet steam engine pulled into the station, and the students began to flood the platform, scattering in every direction.

Sirius bestowed a charming smile on the group of girls standing near James and him. 'Don't forget, ladies,' he said, 'my flat, eight o'clock – bring nothing but your lovely selves; I will take care of everything else.'

When the girls had said their good-byes, Sirius turned to James. 'Come along, mate – our bachelor pad awaits us!'

Remus caught Sirius' eye over James' head. James was watching Lily Evans striding from the platform in the company of Rafe Davies, who was not above casting a smirk at James when Lily wasn't looking.

Severus moved onto the platform with his trunk, joining Avery, Rosier, and Lestrange. Waiting for them with a smooth smile was Lucius Malfoy; he would escort them to the private party to which they had been bidden. His lordship had preferred not to disclose the address of the place to Severus and his friends.

Lily thanked Rafe for Apparating with her to Claret Drive and assisting her with her trunk. Agreeing to have dinner with him the next night, she waved good-bye to him before pulling out her house key and entering her home.

Blue appeared in the kitchen at the first sound of the key; he had been alone for nearly a week, looked after by Robby, a neighbourhood boy. Blue came up to her and began to twine about her ankles, purring.

'Hullo, old thing,' she said, bending to scratch behind Blue's ears. Picking him up, she strolled through the house, feeling its emptiness. She tried to remember if she had ever been home for more than a day without Pepper being here; she didn't think she had.

Pepper had left school a week earlier than Lily had done, and Pepper had already got a job working at Grunnings Drill Company, beginning on July first. Mum and Dad had sent an owl, saying they wanted to take Pepper on holiday as a reward for her good grades before she began her new job, and Lily had urged them to go. She would be fine on her own for a few days at home. She might even enjoy the solitude.

In truth, she had thought James would be with her, to keep her from being lonely.

Three weeks previously

The seventh-years were studying themselves into a decline, finding the anxiety of their pending N.E.W.T.s much more nerve-wracking than what they had experienced two years before with their O.W.L.s. One Saturday night, just before the Monday when the exams were set to begin, Sirius had a brainstorm.

Lily and Remus sat together at the best table, nearest the window open to the mild June evening. On the floor at Remus' feet lay Peter, hair clutched in his hands, lips moving as he read over Transfiguration notes. In soft armchairs backed up to the table sat Sirius and James, desultorily dozing, occasionally glancing at the textbooks in their laps.

'I already know all this stuff,' Sirius said at last, closing his textbook and tossing it onto the table between his chair and James'. 'I'm going to start climbing the walls if we don't get out of here and do something!'

James darted a glance at Sirius. 'Like what?' he asked, his eyes lighting up.

Sirius shifted restlessly. 'I wish it was the full moon.'

Remus looked over at him. 'I could not be more grateful that it is not,' he said flatly. 'If you've learnt everything in your textbook, you could make yourself useful and help Peter.'

Lily glanced up, annoyed. 'If you're going to chat, would you mind going somewhere else? I could really use the quiet to concentrate,' she said testily.

Sirius leant closer to James. 'I know how we could help Wormtail,' he said. 'Let's help him sneak down the pub for a drink!'

Remus and Lily spoke as one. 'No!'

James turned his most coaxing smile on Lily. 'Just one Butterbeer, Lily – then we'll come directly back and study like good boys.' He twisted in his armchair and ran his fingertips down her arm. 'Come with me – it'll be our last hurrah.'

Lily shook his hand off. 'Have you forgotten that you're Head Boy?' she hissed at him.

Before James could speak, Sirius said, 'How could he forget, Lily? You remind him daily.'

Lily threw a piece of wadded parchment at Sirius. 'If I didn't, you'd have him in detention as often as you did when you were first-years!'

Peter sat up, his eyes darting back and forth from James to Sirius. 'I'd go,' he said excitedly.

James grinned. 'Wormtail is always up for an adventure,' he said, earning the smaller boy's answering grin.

Lily snorted. 'You see what a bad influence you are?' she demanded. 'Of all of us, Peter needs to study the most! Now all he wants to do is follow you into trouble!'

A loud argument erupted amongst a group of fourth year boys, and Remus rose from the table to separate them. 'Drop it,' he said quietly to Sirius as he went by.

But Sirius didn't know how to drop a devilish idea, once he had spoken it aloud; it felt too much like backing down, a practice to which he was opposed on general principle.

In the end, Sirius got his way with James – for possibly the last time in their long relationship.

Peter, as always, proved to be the weak link. Vicariously proud of James' and Sirius' putative accomplishments, he gossiped. Before noon on the next day, Lily had the entire story.

Lily knew the entire school was watching the disintegration of the romance between the Head Boy and Head Girl, but she could not stop herself from hexing James mercilessly when she next saw him.

James, being the person he was, would not raise his wand to her. He did, however, beg and plead.

'Lily! It's not what you think! I love you! You know I do!'

Hogsmeade had not been daring enough for Sirius, that night. He, James, and Peter had gone through the Floo at the Hog's Head Inn to The Leaky Cauldron. They began their drinking there, then carried on to Knockturn Alley, where no fewer than four pubs enjoyed their custom. According to Peter Pettigrew, each of these establishments boasted the presence of older witches – old enough to have left school, but young enough yet to find the company of the scions of the wealthy Potter and Black families of interest. The boys did not return to Hogwarts until dawn.

Lily was heartsick, hurt, and humiliated. She would never have believed it possible for James to do something so hateful. In spite her emotional turmoil, by the sheer force of her will, she concentrated on studying for and excelling on her N.E.W.T.s. The day she completed her last exam, she retaliated in the only way she knew – she reinstituted her circle of admirers, and flaunted it in the drawn, worried face of James Potter.

One person's reaction had surprised her. Passing Severus in the corridor outside the Potions laboratory, she steeled herself for sarcasm, and was happily surprised to receive calm friendliness.

'Hello, Lily,' Severus said with a faint smile.

Lily stopped and looked defiantly into Severus' face, her books clutched to her chest, her knuckles white from the strength with which she held them. When her belligerent stance was met with acceptance, she was surprised into speech. 'Don't you know about James and me?'

Severus nodded gravely. 'Yes, I heard.'

Lily raised her chin. 'Then where is your sneer?'

Severus looked directly into her eyes. 'You have an odd notion of the type of friend I am,' he said.

Lily flushed and looked away from him.

Severus reached to her and his fingertips unerringly found and touched the hard crescent of the invisible necklace she wore. 'When you need me, you have only to call,' he said, his voice flowing over her like the warmth of hot fudge, simultaneously comforting and dangerous.

Lily had looked up to speak, but Severus had continued on down the corridor, away from her. For a moment, she had been surprised by the way she had yearned to call him back to her.

Severus was unsure of the location of the house to which they had been brought, but the food had been excellent, as had been the wine. Now he sat quietly in the midst of his Slytherin mates and a number of other young people, whose accents placed their origins on the Continent – undoubtedly, the European wizarding academies had ended their academic years, as well. His attention was intent upon Lord Voldemort. His lordship was addressing them all, and he had been talking for well over an hour. All of those listening were riveted by Lord Voldemort's smooth, facile speech and the ideas he put forth. Were not they all deserving of the best life the wizarding world had to offer? Would not all of society be better off if certain types of pure-blood wizards ruled? Each of those present had been specially chosen by Lord Voldemort, himself, to become a part of his organization. Followers of Lord Voldemort would be wizards and witches of influence, wealth, and power in the new society to come. Would not they all like to step into the next room, to formally accept Lord Voldemort's invitation?

In Sirius Black's flat, the drink was plentiful and the music was loud. A number of the recent Hogwarts seventh-years were present to make merry in celebration of completing their wizarding education. Although he was courted and flattered by several of the witches present at the party, James Potter's participation was luke-warm, at best. His heart did not seem to be in the light-hearted carousal.

Lily sat in her parents' back garden watching the fireflies, the summer night air fragrant with her mother's flower garden. She tried to concentrate on her apprenticeship with Master Arsenius Jigger, which would commence in September, but her thoughts kept returning to the young wizards who haunted her mind. Where were they? Were they happy tonight?

Severus was back at Prince Glen by noon the next day. He had to see his mother, explain to her that he would be spending the summer in the company of his new patron before beginning his apprenticeship in the autumn with Master Borage. He would not even need to unpack his trunk; it already contained every possession he wished to take with him from his grandfather's house.

Lily found the day dragging by. After her year as Head Girl, she was entirely unaccustomed to having nothing to do, and away from her noisy dormitory and the often-crowded common room of Gryffindor Tower, she did not know how to adjust to the complete silence of her home. She would have laughed at the notion just the day before, but she missed Pepper – and Severus. Summer always meant Pepper and Severus and a sense of belonging – even if they didn't always get along.

Unfortunately, her dinner date with Rafe Davies did very little to alleviate her loneliness. His flattery seemed insincere, and she quickly tired of constantly having to fight his roaming hands.

'Invite me in,' he said as he returned her home. 'We'll be all alone ....'

Closing the door in his face, Lily breathed a sigh of relief. She made a cup of tea and tried watching the telly with Blue curled up in her lap, but she could not find a program which could hold her attention. Next she browsed her bookshelves and chose an old favourite romantic adventure tale, but she could not concentrate on the story. She was restless, and her mood was growing more unmanageable with each passing moment.

Grabbing a jacket, she let herself out the front door and began to walk purposefully down Claret Lane as the setting sun touched the horizon with deep crimson and purple. She had not been to the Kingdom since her last visit there with Pepper, the summer before; surely being in a familiar, comforting place would calm her increasingly wild spirits.

Severus sat with his mother in her room until she fell asleep. It saddened him to see how much she had aged in the last few years; he knew she was barely forty, but she looked much older. She had never taken down all the photographs of Stephy; the framed pictures still cluttered every available surface, but Severus was no longer distressed by the sight of his baby sister. Seeing her simply firmed his resolve. Lord Voldemort said that his Potions masters would search for cures to the diseases which afflicted the children of pure-blood families, and Severus was eager to begin such rewarding work.

He extinguished the candle in his mother's room, and as he walked along the hallway to his own room, the medallion around his neck heated up.

Lily!

He punched the air with satisfaction. She was calling for him, and he had so much to tell her.

She was sitting on the side of the bridge when he Apparated in, but she ran to the clearing when she saw him.

'You came! Thank you!'

'I told you I would,' he reminded her. 'Are you all right?'

She laughed. 'Yes – I was lonely. My parents took Pepper on holiday.' She shifted, suddenly awkward. They had not been there together since the night she had shuddered in his arms – then refused the gift of his ring. Was he thinking of that?

'New moon,' he said, glancing up at the sky, a swathe of velvet with a handful of diamonds scattered over its surface.

Lily breathed a sigh of relief – he wasn't going to be difficult about it – thank God. 'It is rather dark,' she agreed.

Severus took a step towards her. 'Why don't you tell me why you called,' he suggested quietly.

'I wanted to be with someone I know,' she said, looking up into his shadowed face, thinking he must have grown another two inches since she had last done so. Her heart was fluttering in her chest and her palms were damp. She wanted to throw herself at him – the combination of the anonymous dark and Severus Snape was a potent one.

As if reading her thoughts, he took her hand and pulled it through his crooked arm, walking with her through the stand of rowan trees. 'Let's walk about the lake,' he said, 'and you can tell me what's on your mind.'

And to her complete amazement, Lily poured it all out – her disappointment in James, her hurt feelings, her dashed hopes, her confusion about her future, the uselessness of Rafe Davies in general – by the time they had made the circuit of the lake and arrived back at the clearing, she felt soothed and comforted.

'Better now?' he asked lightly. 'Come, I'll walk you home.'

'No,' she said, pulling on his arm to stop him before El Castillo del Viento. 'I don't want to go yet. Tell me how you are – what you've been doing.'

For the first time, he seemed to become tense. 'If I stay,' he said, 'I'll want to kiss you – and I don't think you want that. So, I should see you home and be off.'

'You ... want to kiss me?' she whispered. She could not get the image of him with Pepper out of her mind. 'Still?'

His hand rose to her face and stroked her cheek. 'Always,' he said, his voice suddenly thick with emotion.

It was only natural for them to come together, then, beneath the cover of El Castillo del Viento, in the Kingdom of their youth, on the spot where they had exchanged their first kiss and brought one another to their first sexual completion. There was no Professor Slughorn to bumble in, no curfew to keep, no scheduled place to be, no family waiting at home for either of them. They began with a first, tentative kiss and permitted nature to take its course.

She tasted of the chocolate biscuits she had eaten with her tea – delectable – but it was the bliss of touching her again which thrilled through his veins like liquid joy. She never stopped him, as she had so often done in the past, nor so much as blocked his attempts to touch her; she was all acquiescence, and she was creating her own brand of havoc with her hands upon his skin.

When her back was arched over his arm and his face was buried between her plump breasts, he wished for light to see what he had dreamt of for so long, but otherwise, he was entirely content with the senses he was afforded: the sound of her gasps and whimpers, the feel of her softness beneath his hands, the taste of her tongue when he sucked it greedily into his mouth, and the smell of her bare skin.

The first time went by predictably quickly. The initial kiss seemed never to end, but only to become more complete with each new barrier crossed. Her facility at unbuttoning his shirt without breaking their kiss made him wonder if she had done it before; by the time she broke away from him to pull her own blouse over her head, he no longer cared. He fondled and suckled her bared nipples until she was writhing against him, and he realised she was going to let him touch between her legs – that she wanted him to do it.

Lily unfastened her jeans and wriggled out of them without rising from her prone position. When she tossed them away, she lay next to him in nothing but her tiny knickers, and the smell of her arousal had him aching so badly he thought he would come from that alone. She pulled him down into another kiss, and he stroked down her ribcage, past her navel, allowing his hand to come to rest upon her mons, his long fingers curved down to the crotch of her undergarment.

Dear Merlin – she was so wet, the knickers were soaked. His groan was lost in her cry as she squirmed against his hand. Unsure of himself, he rubbed her through the knickers, feeling the clear delineation of her nether lips beneath the fabric. It was too much. He unfastened his jeans, pushing them with his pants down to his knees, and he rolled atop of her, his aching erection, weeping lubrication, jabbing inexpertly against the barrier of her knickers.

'Lily!' he pled against her neck.

'Yes,' she said. 'Get up, I'll take them off – you take yours off, too.'

Hating to move, but eager to penetrate her, he stood and shucked out of his remaining clothing; belatedly, he remembered the spell he had learnt and practiced for this moment.

He knelt beside her naked body, a glorious sight even in the dark of the night, and brought the tip of his wand to a spot beneath her navel.

'What are you doing?' she asked nervously. 'I already cast the contraceptive charm.'

'It's a spell to reduce the pain of losing your virginity,' he said. He did not tell her it was a Dark spell in common use amongst the inhabitants of Slytherin House. The incantation spoken, he put his wand down beside them and knelt between her legs.

'Have you done this before?' she asked anxiously.

'No,' he said, wishing for a moment that he had done; he wasn't quite sure how to proceed.

'Kiss me again,' she urged, reaching for him with her hands. 'I'll bet we can work it out.'

It was a sensible suggestion. He kissed her and touched her, holding his weight on his forearms, groaning her name as the tip of his erection slipped between the cleft of her vulva, and he thrust a couple of times, eliciting a gasping garble of words from Lily, who clearly liked the stimulation as he slid against her most sensitive spot.

At last, with a combined effort, he found his way into the slick, warm channel of her body and pierced her maidenhead on the second try. Lily did not evince any particular discomfort, and in spite of his best intentions, a few seconds later he cried out as the last vestiges of his virginity found a home deep within the body of the witch he adored.

He lay panting into her hair until she murmured, 'Can't breathe.' He moved to lie beside her, removing his weight, and she turned to embrace him.

'Did you ...?' he asked.

'No,' she replied huskily. 'But never mind ... you'll catch your breath in a few minutes.'

He chuckled, feeling as if he had just created the earth and set the stars in the sky for her amusement. Words failed him, though, so he simply wrapped her in his arms and felt a peace beyond his imagining invade his being.

'So,' she said, her breath cool upon his sweat slicked skin, 'what prompted you to learn that spell?'

'I knew we would need it, one day,' he said, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

'We?' she said, surprised.

'Of course,' he answered.

Lily did not say anything else, but took up her wand and cast a cleansing spell on them both before stretching out beside him again and kissing his throat.

He was surprised that his second wind came as quickly as it did, but with a naked, eager Lily beside him, he received a great deal of encouragement. Now, his caresses were more languorous, listening for her breathy gasps and whimpers as he pleasured her. It took very little effort for her first time, his tongue tangling with hers, and his fingers buried between her legs, exploring by touch the miracle of her pleasure centre. Two long digits thrust experimentally inside, whilst his thumb travelled in lazy circles above, and then she was crying out. He swallowed her cry and kissed her more deeply still.

To his surprise, she immediately encouraged him to come to her again, and this time, he had the leisure to take note of every sensation as he pumped in and out of her yielding body. Once again, when his breathing had steadied, she pulled his hand to her mons and he fingered her slickness whilst he sucked her nipples, to the accompaniment of her clutching at his hair and calling out his name.

'Dear God, Severus,' she said as she trembled in his arms, 'I love you so much.'

He did not speak, but he held her very tightly indeed, vowing to himself to keep her safe until his dying breath. Soon, they dozed together in the deep dark of El Castillo del Viento.

When he woke, she was fondling his bollocks and nuzzling his chest.

'Are you trying to start something?' he asked, amused.

'Yes,' she said firmly. 'Am I succeeding?'

He chuckled and thrust once into the grip she held on his shaft.

'Good,' she said, and in a moment, she had straddled him, her bum sliding deliciously over his lower abdomen.

As the grey of a pearly dawn began to touch the sky, Severus watched in amazement as stunning, red-haired Lily Evans rode his cock, her hands on her breasts; when she turned her self-satisfied, half-lidded gaze to his face, she smiled at him in such a way that he thought he would gladly die for her. For years, that moment remained his strongest visual memory of her.

When he had grasped her hips and thrust up into her until he shouted her name, she moved to his side. 'Oh, I liked that,' she said smugly. 'That way, I have all kinds of control.'

'Randy wench,' he said, the tenderness with which he spoke belying his teasing words. He rolled onto his right side to face her, reaching with his left hand to stroke her flank, his eyes drinking in her loveliness.

'When do you have to be home?' she asked, brushing a lock of greasy hair from his face.

'I don't have a set time,' he answered. 'When will your family be back?'

'Tomorrow,' she said, giving him a wicked smile.

'You mean, we could shag properly – in a bed?' he asked. 'Let's go there now – I'm starving. You can feed me.'

She let her eyes drift lazily from his groin to his face. 'I do want you to keep up your strength,' she said. Then, a frown crossed her face and she ran her thumb over the skin of his forearm. 'What is that, Severus?'

He pulled his arm away from her and sat up abruptly, reaching for his long-sleeved shirt. 'It's nothing,' he lied, his heart thudding in an uncomfortable, uneven rhythm in his chest. How stupid could he be?

Lily sat up as well and tugged on his arm. 'Is that a snake tattoo? Is it ...?'

With a sudden move, she dropped his arm and lurched to her feet, staring down at him with her mouth open. 'I've seen that mark!'

'I don't know where you'd have seen it,' he snapped. 'It's just a tattoo. My mates and I got them – to celebrate leaving school.'

Lily staggered back a step, her hands pressed to her cheeks, completely unmindful of her nudity. 'It's a Dark Mark!' she cried. 'James' father showed me the design – it's the emblem of a Dark wizard, Severus!'

'Don't be stupid, Evans,' he snarled, desperate to derail her train of thought.

She snatched up her clothes and began to dress. 'It's death – something about death – Sir Death, or ....' She stuffed her knickers into the pocket of her jeans. 'It's Voldemort,' she said with soft finality. 'His name is Lord Voldemort.'

Severus lunged at her so quickly it startled him as much as it did her, but he had to stop her.

'Don't speak his name!' he hissed, his hand clamped over her mouth.

Lily pulled her wand and in a flash, a welt appeared on the back of the hand he held across her mouth. He yelped and jerked away. She turned, the wand levelled at him. 'Don't ever do that again.'

'Fine,' he said. 'Just don't say it again.'

With a suddenness which confused him, her lip trembled, and she began to cry. 'How could you do that? How could you join with a Dark wizard?'

He sneered. 'You've spent too much time talking to Potter. There's nothing sinister about a Dark wizard. This one happens to have provided an apprenticeship for me and promised a job when I have my master's certificate.' Seeing her standing there, with her hands over her face, sobbing, he melted and pulled her into his arms. 'It's a good thing, not a bad one. I'll be able to provide for you, Lily. A nice flat, nice things – and later, when I've had time to save up, our own cottage. We can live wherever you like.' He rocked his torso back and forth. 'Please don't cry.'

She pushed against him. 'I can't be part of that, Severus! Don't make me choose between doing the right thing and loving you!'

He ran his hand up and down her spinal column, trying to quiet her emotions. 'Don't look at it that way,' he said, bending and pressing a kiss to her temple. 'Think of how happy we'll be, in our own place, doing whatever we want. We can work it out, Lily. I can go to my job, and you can go to yours – you don't have to participate in that part of my life.'

She suddenly seized him. 'I can't be with you if you pledge allegiance to a Dark leader, Severus – I can't! Please, leave them – please!'

He held her tighter. 'We can work around it – I promise you we can.' Her felt her shaking her head against his chest, but he kept talking. 'I was never good enough for you when I was so poor – I won't be poor anymore. I'm doing this for us – so we'll have a place to be – so we can be together. My work for the Dark Lord never has to touch you.'

She screamed loudly enough to startle the birds in the trees above them, causing them to take flight in a great flutter of wings, and she pushed against him with all her strength. He let her go, and she staggered back from him, her face streaked with tears.

'YOU TOUCH ME!' she shouted. 'You will fill yourself with Darkness, and then you will touch me, and I will be contaminated by it, just like you are!'

Severus felt as if he had received a Bludger blow to the solar plexus. 'You think that about me?' he asked, his voice pained.

Lily looked down, unable to meet his eyes. 'You can't help it – but it's part of you – I can feel it. I don't care – I love you! – but I don't want it in me.'

Severus swallowed. 'Let me show you that we can be together,' he said. 'We can work it out – I swear we will.'

Lily looked up then, directly into his face, from the distance of four feet. 'If you love me,' she said, 'you won't make me choose.'

For what felt to him like an eternity, he looked at her, admitting to himself fully that he loved her more than life, that she was more precious to him than the breath in his lungs. However, one did not hand in one's resignation to the Dark Lord. He had understood that when he had knelt at the great wizard's feet and accepted the Mark.

He had to be a man – had to do the right thing.

With trembling hands, he reached behind his neck and unfastened the medallion she had given him when they were fourteen years old. In all that time, he had never removed it – no matter how badly she had hurt him, or how many times she had pushed him away or rejected him, he had never stopped wearing it.

He walked over to her and took one of her hands, turning it up and placing the medallion in her palm. 'All right,' he said. 'I won't make you choose.'

He held it as a point of pride that he smiled at her before he bowed formally and walked out of El Castillo del Viento. He did not permit the tears choking him to fall until he had Disapparated from her sight.