Chapter 5
Chapter 5 of 5
ayerfThe beginning of the end.
ReviewedDisclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, would I be writing fanfiction?
Chapter 5
I did not see Minerva again until I stood before the gates of Hogwarts, waiting for her to let me in as an official sign that I was once again welcome here. If I so desired, I am sure that I could have walked onto the grounds, the restrictions of the wards set by Albus met. But I felt like a stranger, although I had only been gone for three months.
The gates opened at Minerva's approach, sweeping the snow on the ground aside as they did.
"Welcome home, Severus. Exactly why you wanted me to meet you out here in the cold is beyond me. Did you forget how cold winter in Scotland is?"
I flushed. It was true that my travels had taken me to warmer climes, but perhaps I could make amends for dragging Minerva out into the cold. "I thought a drink either in The Three Broomsticks or The Hog's Head would suit."
Minerva gave me a sceptical look, but accepted my excuse. One of the privileges granted to the Head of the school was the ability to whistle up a thestral-drawn carriage instantly, allowing us a more comfortable journey to Hogsmeade.
After the promised drink, Minerva couldn't hold in the question she had obviously wanted to ask since I had arrived. "I hope you are more at peace now. Have you at least learned what the concept of it is?"
"In a way. Although I doubt I have to the satisfaction of most people."
"I have known you since you started your education at Hogwarts, Severus. I would not expect anything else of you."
I drained my second glass of Ogden's best. "Promise me something."
"Within reason, I will. I'm not about to enter into a suicide pact with you."
I glowered at her. Minerva had the memory of an elephant; she would never let me forget such unfortunate statements as being unable to be at peace unless I was dead. "Just promise me that you will keep away any misguided fools hoping to 'ease my pain' by replacing Hermione. My actions resulting from such a situation would be unfortunate."
"I will do my best, although you should be warned that Narcissa Malfoy has been asking after you."
"I thought you loathed Narcissa," I stated, puzzled that Minerva should be in possession of such knowledge.
"There is such a thing as gossip. There are also at least two gossip mongers resident at Hogwarts." She gave no names, but I was well aware of who those gossips were. Between Hooch and Filch, it was a wonder that there were any secrets left in the wizarding world.
"At least I know to avoid Narcissa like the dragon pox now."
Minerva wished me luck, while exchanging a knowing look with me. We both knew that Narcissa was all but impossible to avoid. I might manage it for a few more months, but sooner or later she would catch up with me. Now that Lucius was dead, however, she would face an unpleasant surprise. I no longer had a reason to be civilised; it was time to introduce Widow Malfoy to the real Severus Snape, terror of the Hogwarts dungeons. Unfortunately, knowing my luck, dear Narcissa would be unfazed. She doubtless knew that I was 'not myself', lost in grief. Plus she had known Voldemort. Compared to the late Dark Lord, I was not so scary.
For a Gryffindor, Minerva was fairly good at keeping her face clear of emotion. As a Slytherin, I am adept at reading into such attempts. I could tell that she was all but biting her tongue to keep from saying anything that I might take offence to, like resigning myself to bachelorhood. I suspect that if it were anyone but Narcissa showing interest, she might have risked our tentative friendship.
Our conversation shuddered to a halt. Minerva was not the only one keeping herself from saying anything. I could feel the weight of Hermione's engagement ring dangling from the chain around my neck, a burden that I might be able to share. But I was afraid that if I showed the glow to anyone else, it would fade, taking my hopes with it.
"I must be getting back. I may only be Headmistress until midnight, but there is a fair bit of bureaucracy to wallow through before I can have my old position back."
"Allow me to escort you." I offered Minerva my arm as we made our way out into the bitter weather.
That night I sat before the fire in my quarters, idly ruffling through Hermione's letters, her diary placed precariously on top of the pile. I yawned widely, slumping back in the chair. Lulled by the firelight, my eyelids slid closed. I jerked awake as a sudden crackle roused me, a strangled cry escaping my throat as I spotted the cause of the noise. The contents of my lap had slipped forwards as I dozed off, tipping the letters and the diary into the flames. I had enough presence of mind to extinguish the fire with a panicked, jerky jab of my wand before reaching into the ashes for what remained.
The letters had largely collapsed into ash, but the diary was undamaged. I threw it to the side, frantically trying to salvage the scraps of singed parchment still remaining. Trust Hermione to enchant her diary; why couldn't she have also applied the same fire resistant charm to the letters? Why hadn't I? A movement in the corner of my eye drew my attention back to the diary, where it had fallen open to the last page. Previously blank, words were gradually forming.
14.3.97
Dear Severus,
If you are reading this, I am dead. The recurring nightmares that I have been getting ever since mid February concern the 'final battle'. I fear that they are visions of the future, that my death is inevitable. Presumably I am unable to return; even a Necromancer has limits, after all. Hopefully that is not the case, but in the event that I am gone, I won't request that you don't grieve or demand that you move on. Doing so would be to ask that you discard yourself. Instead, all I ask is that you live.
I have no idea what is beyond the cold darkness of oblivion, but where there is hope there is life. Or in this case, an afterlife. May we meet again.
I love you,
Hermione
Eyes burning with the effort of suppressing tears, I brought my hand up to grip the bridge of my nose, teeth clenched and breathing harsh. 'She couldn't have known what was to happen! She would have told me.' My throat ached with suppressed sobs. 'If she truly loved me, she would have warned me.' Face twisting into a mask of misery, I collapsed to my knees on the hearthrug. 'She had known. I suspected as much.' My other hand joined the first, shielding my eyes as my fingers slid into my hair. 'Yet even if she had told me exactly what those nightmares were about, would it have helped?' The first of my tears escaped me as I gave up the fight against my sorrow. There was no point of manfully suppressing my feelings when alone, no façade of pride to display, no one to deride me with the insult of Snivellus. Sometimes tears were cathartic. Hopefully this was one of those times.
"Hermione, why?" I cried into the silence broken by my sobs, swiping futilely at my eyes. My gaze dropped to the last words written by her hand to me, tears blurring my sight. Clutching at her ring, I lay sprawled in front of the hearth until the welcome oblivion of sleep claimed me.
An hour or so later, a bizarre looking creature wrapped in piecemeal, threadbare clothing appeared in the Potion master's quarters. A tower of shapeless woollen hats wobbling as he shook his head, nonplussed by the obstacle in the way of his work.
"Why is Professor Snape not in bed? Dobby wonders why he is on the hearthrug, looking like Missus Norris." Dobby leaned closer, large bulbous eyes blinking as he attempted to put together the pieces of the mystery.
"Professor Snape is very sad, he is missing Harry Potter's friend very much. He is also sad because his letters is all burnt. Perhaps Dobby can help?" Snapping his fingers, Dobby glowered at the scraps of parchment as he called on his magic to reverse the damage. He smiled as he put the once again pristine letters in a pile beside the armchair, using the discarded diary as a paperweight.
"Dobby will tuck Professor Snape into bed now. Winter is no time to spend a night on cold floors." Magic crackling from his fingertips, the house-elf floated the gently snoring man into his bed chambers, almost dropping him as he tripped over the end of one of his dangling scarves. Once his charge was safely ensconced in bed, Dobby bowed.
"Goodnight, Professor Snape."
I slipped through the threadbare cloth, at once feeling no resistance at all yet also as if I were sliding through quagmire. I fell to my hands and knees once I was through the veil, my sight swimming. I blinked slowly a few times to clear my vision, catching sight of runes trickling across the stone floor like blood each time my eyes opened. It was from an obscure runic alphabet, the letters familiar: 'A', 'R' and 'O'. I forced my eyes to open, managing to catch the full word denoted by the start and end runes. 'ATROPOS'. This ancient chamber was greeting me...
My head snapped up as the door at the far end of the room opened. I bit back a groan at the swelling ache accompanying the abrupt movement. The man entering the room looked straight through me. I do not have an invisibility cloak as such, but my robes were specifically designed to hide me. Unless the observer knows what to look for, I cannot be seen. Needless to say, it's highly unlikely that anyone in this world does.
"Active again? I wish we could know what they say. That would settle the debate about this room for sure," the Unspeakable grumbled as he conjured a scroll of parchment and a dictation quill. "Right, runic flare in the Death Chamber at 0200 hours, 21.12.1998."
That answered my question about the flow of time beyond the veil. Bit of an anticlimax, really.
With the door still open, this was the perfect time for me to escape undetected by the wards surrounding the room. I struggled to my feet, only to collapse back down, thankfully all but silently. My journey had greatly weakened me. I swallowed my pride and crawled across the room. Even that left me collapsed on the floor outside, gasping for breath. How long would it take me to recover my strength? If only I could Apparate out of here... I wistfully ran a finger along the intricately carved wood of my wand. I could feel from the lack of vibration that my magic had been affected as expected. The same was true for my other powers.
Yet the curse affecting me was not the benediction of my enemies. The gradual return of my powers as the curse wore off would allow me to slip under their notice. For now I would bide my time, although first I would have to find my way out of this rabbit warren before anyone tripped over me. Special robes or not, they wouldn't stop people from walking into me.
Of course, my time in this world would be very limited if another Necromancer already inhabited it, as they would feel my presence before my powers had fully returned; I would be a sitting duck. As such, my first point of call should be the Aurory, where the Dark Detectors are likely to be. If they could detect me, I deserved to be found.
The bored junior Auror manning her post was too busy poring over Playwitch to notice as I slipped inside the room, the security wards absent. This Ministry must be of the opinion that a room full of Dark Detectors does not need wards. Leaning over the Auror, I slipped a dose of a potent Sleeping Potion into her coffee. The next slurp she took had her snoring, leaving the room unwatched.
Approaching the Foe-Glass, I fiddled with the partly disguised knobs on the front to reset it to show my enemies. The fact that I was able to do so without magic said something about the shocking complacency of this Ministry. I peered in, seeing nothing but indistinct shadows. If there was a Necromancer resident in this world, I should have been able to see whoever it was clearly. A slow smirk spread across my face as I realised that I could use this pathetic Aurory to my own ends by resetting all of the Dark Detectors to my needs. Of course, it was possible that they would realise that all of their precious instruments were meddled with, but that was unlikely judging by the incompetence I had observed so far. Just in case, a small act of sabotage to each device would ensure that I would be undetectable even if they did reset everything in this room.
As it was, I was almost found before I could leave the Aurory. The lift doors opened just as I got to them. Even as I dived against the wall in an effort to get out of the way, one of the disembarking occupants of the lift tripped over me, kicking my shin in the process. I shoved the knuckles of my fist into my mouth to muffle my cry of pain.
"Tonks! That's a fine start to your shift," a tall, stately, dark-skinned man boomed in his deep voice as he extended a hand to help up the woman who had all but crippled me.
"Shut up, Kingsley. I know a trip jinx when I feel one. Just because our illustrious Head placed you on the graveyard shift doesn't mean you can take it out on me. We're in the same boat, y'know." Hair abruptly flashing crimson, Tonks revealed herself as a Metamorphmagus to me. Interesting, but irrelevant. She would be no danger to me when my powers returned.
Rolling his eyes as he pulled Tonks to her feet, the two Aurors walked off, bickering. In the time it took me to get to my feet, the lift had gone. Typical! After summoning the lift, I stepped back to stretch my battered muscles, only to be unceremoniously dumped to the floor. Swearing viciously, I sat up, glaring around me to identify what I had slipped on. One of the Aurors, presumably Tonks, had dropped a vial. Picking it up, I read the label, a slow smile spreading across my face. While the strengthening elixir I had just found wouldn't return my powers, it would accelerate the process.
The occupants of the next lift were mystified as the doors opened, seemingly to let no one on. Shrugging, they continued their conversation as I stepped inside before the doors closed, the precious vial in my pocket.
"So the memorial will be unveiled next year?" A toad with a passing resemblance to a middle-aged woman asked of her companion, a tall, stringy young man with a shock of red hair.
"On the second anniversary of You-Know-Who's defeat, yes. The statue will be revealed at Hogwarts, where it is to stand in the Great Hall."
So the Dark Lord had been defeated in this world as well. That was...unfortunate. Something for me to rectify when I had the ability to do so.
"Oh, Mr. Weasley, tell me what the design is," the Toad simpered in her grating girlish voice.
"Madam Umbridge, you know that is a trade secret. Only the Minister and the Artisans have any idea of what it will look like. You have a better chance than me of finding out."
I idly wondered if all Weasleys were as pathetic as where I came from. Looking at this specimen, I presumed so.
"Who will be honoured with a mention?" Licking at her lips, a greedy light in her eyes, I could only assume that Umbridge wanted her name to be so honoured.
"Our dead, of course. The Minister did mention that only those who truly deserved the honour of their name immortalised would be on it." Weasley leaned closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "He let slip that some of the names have already been engraved, and none of them have been rejected by the enchantment."
"Which names? Surely at least one of the so-called heroes is undeserving."
"I know for a fact that the, er, most controversial name has been accepted."
"The N-n-necromancer?" Umbridge stuttered over the word. My ears pricked up, my eyes widening in disbelief as Weasley nodded. A Necromancer, honoured by the Light?
"She did rid the world of You-Know-Who. Of course, if she had survived circumstances would be different. The only Necromancer the Ministry can tolerate is a dead one." Weasley paused, fidgeting with his horn-rimmed glasses. "I suppose we shouldn't be surprised. After all, Hermione Granger was posthumously awarded an Order of Merlin, First Class."
Granger? I clapped a hand across my mouth to stifle my gasp. That name I knew all too well. I fought down the surge of panic rising in me. She's dead. She's been dead for over a year here, she can't come back.
I breathed easier once Weasley and Umbridge had departed the lift. By the time I had reached my destination, I was calm. With Granger gone, my self-appointed task would be considerably easier.
Looking around the hollow spectacle of the Atrium, I bared my teeth with a mirthless smile, unseen by the few workers arriving by Floo, a shadow within shadows. The days of this bungling Ministry were numbered as soon as I staggered through the veil.
The End... for now
AN: Continued in Resurgam.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Tabula Rasa
30 Reviews | 9.67/10 Average
I only found this just the other day, I didn't realise there was an inbetween piece to Redivivus & Resurgam. I quite like it, it's heartbreaking, yet sweet, I can just imagine Albus blowing up the potions classroom with his beard lol.Sorry I didn't review the other chapters, I'm a bit lazy hehehe. Hope you keep writing cos Redivivus & Resurgam are in my top 10 fav fics ever, I'd like to add some more of your stories to it :P
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I'm glad Resurgam made sense without reading this first! Glad you like it!So far the plot bunnies keep biting, so I'll definitely keep on writing. I'm very glad to hear that you like Redivivus and Resurgam so much!
WOW!
Another brilliantly written story.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Thank you! I'm glad to hear it.
Uhh, slightly mean. In the beginning I was hoping that it was Hermione that came crawling back trough the veil. Yet is is somebody else. Seems to be a necromancer. The only one I could remember was Grindelwald. On the other hand how could he know who Hermione Granger was, but what do I know about afterlife. So my guess. Grindelwald.
Response from nighthawk (Reviewer)
Okay, if had read the other reviews, I would have known that I couldn't be Grindelwald. Mhh, let me think about it some more....
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I seem to have downsized from evil to slightly mean. If it was Hermione, then she'd have gone baaaaaaad.Thing about Grindelwald is that Dumbledore killed him. I suppose it's possible that the dead know of the living (or relatively newly dead in this case).The veil gives a lot of opportunities, as so little is known about it.
Response from nighthawk (Reviewer)
I know you won't tell, but let me guess. Your comments were:Seeing as Lucius was not a Necromancer, nope, it's not him. Well, how would we know before he rises?A new Necromancer. Grindelwald is deader than dead, and Voldy wasn't one. A new one, but it can't be someone, who just died shortly. Because, they would know Hermione and her powers and Mr. X seems to be surprised. Granger? That name I knew all too well. I fought down the surge of panic rising in me. She’s dead. She’s been dead for over a year here, she can’t come back. BUt was does "She’s been dead for over a year here" mean. Where else could she be dead? A parallel universe? And who has bad memories of her? Sirius Black went behind the veil without being actually dead, maybe he could come back. But why should he be bad? Oh darn, give me a hint. I'm going in circles.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Hint: as revealed in Resurgam's prologue, Atropos, the new necromancer, is female. So no, not Sirius.One of your guesses came close to the truth, but obviously I can't say more without spoiling the plot anymore than I already may have done.
OH my is that Lucious back?
Living the faithful readers on cliffside is not very nice dear author. Fortunately you've left it so intriguing what can we do but continue. I saw you've started another section of this story. Will have to wait until kids are in bed... Maybe if I'm lucky they will go to sleep early.
Will tell hubby you've completed this portion.
thanks a bunch.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Thanks!Seeing as Lucius was not a Necromancer, nope, it's not him.But cliffhangers are addictive! Maybe not for the poor readers, but they lend themselves to the story so well.
So...Hermione is still alive somewhere, right? Otherwise the ring wouldn't be glowing. For awhile I also thought that the Necromancer was Hermione, but now I see that it's not. Whoever it is, they know of her. Perhaps they met on the Astral plane?I eagerly wait the next installment.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Yet if Hermione was alive, the ring would be glowing brightly. It's not. But, yes, if she were irretrievably dead the ring wouldn't glow at all.You do make it hard for me to write a spoiler free reply! Atropos, the new Necromancer, knows of them. Which is not necessarily the same as them knowing of her.The prologue to the real sequel should be up soon. Look out for 'Resurgam'.
Response from Kore (Reviewer)
Judging by the title, "she shall rise again," eh?
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Could be. The summary being 'Darkness never dies' doesn't really reveal that, even if the title does.
who was talking in that last bit?was it Grindelwald or Voldemort?or someone else?it was a bit confusing
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
A new Necromancer. Grindelwald is deader than dead, and Voldy wasn't one. And he was atomised, so even if he was, he could no more bring himself back than Hermione can.Sorry for the confusion, but this Atropos character is meant to be mysterious. I expect questions about identity! None of which I'll answer in replies to reviews, mind.
Enjoyable short sequel. The mere idea of Filch and Hooch gossiping is hilarious. Quite an interesting series you got here.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Thanks! The idea is even more funny when the picture of Filch's trot across the great hall is film!GoF is added. Imagine that turn of, er, speed when he's got some gossip to share.I just hope that the real sequel will be as interesting.
Oh this was fantastic... I am so happy that you added the little end note... for nowThank you so very much for continuing this story as it is one of my favourites.Love Sonia :)
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Thank you! Considering that the prologue to the real sequel is in the queue, 'for now' seemed appropriate to add.
Wow, what a cliffhanger!! Who is that? I had my hopes up so much to think that Hermione might be back and then you completely throw a wrench into that theory. Youve literally put me on the edge of my seat.
Snapes grief is heart breaking. Its touching how Snape refuses all the people that are reaching out to help him, yet Dobby silently gives Snape comfort.
Redivivus was a brilliant story and I hope you will continue with these characters!
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Who 'that' is would be telling far too much! Help that he doesn't know about at the time of giving is the only sort that Snape can accept. Fortunately for him, house elves excel at that.I fully intend to finish my tale. Leaving it here would be far too cruel to poor Snape... and to my readers.
Answers. Are. Needed. Who is that Necromancer?
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
That would be telling! I'll submit the prologue to the queue as soon as I've thought up a summary. Problem is that I'm hopeless at coming up with them!
Response from septentrion (Reviewer)
Is the story finished? It isn't marked as such on the main page.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
It should be marked as such now. The problem here is that marking it complete while ch 5 was in the queue would give the impression that there were only 4 chapters.
damn damn damn--I can't guess who the "I" is in the last part! I know you're pretty busy, but I will be awaiting the sequel to this in hope.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
That was the idea! If you had been able to guess I'd have pretty much had to rewrite what I have written of the sequel. I'll be posting the prologue soon, followed by chapter 1. When I get the latter back from my beta, that is.
OK, that's one spine-chilling cliffhanger of an ending! You had me going for awhile there, thinking it was Hermione, and that maybe she'd come back "wrong" or something. Now I'm just dying (snicker) to know what's going on. So, you'll be posting that sequel soon, yes?
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Thank you! For fairly obvious reasons, Hermione can't bring herself back. I'll be posting the prologue soon, although anything beyond chapter 1 will be delayed by such horrors as preparation for exams.You couldn't resist that pun, could you?
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
Well, you've left a glimmer of hope with that ring, so even if Hermione can't bring *herself* back, perhaps something else can. Or not. Don't worry, I'm not fishing, just speculating. Exams are the one true evil. Good luck battling them! And no, I couldn't resist. ;-)
He's coming around, isn't he? Thanks for this very moving story.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
However much he didn't want it, all he needed was time. Thanks for reviewing!
Have to agree w/Minerva. Severus can't do the job as long as his 'head's not in the game.'
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Nope! Not while he's in no state to terrorise the students with anything other than incompetence.
Interesting insight into what happened at the Department of Mysteries and Severus' reaction. I look forward to the last chapter.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I couldn't imagine him being happy with Hermione with her escapade there! The last chapter is no.4 in the validation queue, so might be posted by tomorrow.
scratch that. you are Eviler.
if i beg, will you post the sequel soon?
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I take it that you mean the real sequel? I can't start posting that until I have finished Tabula Rasa. I also have to finish the rest of this before I can post it and there's also the necessary delay of each chapter being betaed and then edited in most cases.However, as Tabula Rasa is only going to be a few chapters long, I hope to be moving on to the real sequel by April. I can make no promises though! Begging unfortunately won't make my real life commitments magically disappear.
Response from sandstar08 (Reviewer)
as sad as the news is, i understand. it's the same reason i'm hesitant to post my story until i've finished writing and my beta's done editing. take your time. we'll be here waiting when you are ready. :)
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
That's good to know, thanks. But as soon as each chapter is ready for posting, I'll update, so I will be posting before the story is completely finished. I hope chapter 2 will be up by the start of March- it's been seen by my beta but needs some editing.
Response from sandstar08 (Reviewer)
yay! *dances*
like your reference to locke's theroy of raising children... not that these are children anymore, eh?but i think you should know as brillant of an author as you are (amazingly good isn't enough really) you are definitely Evil. with the capital E. that was a very cruel and unusual form of punishment. now excuse me while i go hurry to read the sequel. *sticks out tongue and runs away* :-P~
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
With spells like Obliviate, that theory can apply to more than just children!Me, Evil? Now, what can possibly have given you that idea?This is the second time a reviewer has called me both brilliant and evil. Maybe I should start believing it...
Aww... you're a big meanie! Fancy leaving a cliffy like that! I was planning on an early night, but now I'm going to have to go and read the next one. ;) Good story, though you should let up on torturing poor old Sev a bit, I think my heart might just break if he has to suffer much more. :'(
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
Good to know that the evil cliffie had the desired effect... I apologise in advance that the next is a wip.
Poor Sev indeed. I can only promise that he'll have a happier ending than in Redivivus at the very end.
So that's why Hermione knew to suggest Murtlap essence to Harry. Very clever of you! It's so heartbreaking to watch Severus going through this.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
It makes a change to Hermione just knowing it from books! I hope the heartbreak is realistic. Only a chapter or so of this to go now, then I'll be concentrating on the real sequel.
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
I do think it's realistic, and I look forward to the rest of it and then the sequel.
It's heart-wrenching, to see him going through his grief.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
The original aim for this was to explore the correspondence between Severus and Hermione. Now that seems more of a sub plot, with precedence given to the study of Severus's grief. The heartache is necessary for realism, sadly, although in the real sequel I'm not planning on having much heartache of the same sort.
The explosion was priceless. So was the Portkey. It's sad to think some of the letters were lost permanently, but maybe that's part of what he needs, to move on.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I'm glad that I can successfully include some humour in this. Severus does need to move on through his grief, but I doubt that he'll ever be truly over the loss.
Response from firefly124 (Reviewer)
True. I don't think any of us are ever truly over a loss like that. But Hermione wouldn't want him spending the rest of his life, his short life if he keeps up as he was in that class, doing nothing but mourning and brooding.
*clinks glass in salute to Hermione & Sev* That Tricksy Albus! LOLOL* Yep, I think the forced sabbatical will do Severus' head good.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
*Cheers!* If the forced sabbatical doesn't work, at least he won't be in danger of having his head blown off by a potion gone wrong whilst busy brooding.
This chapter was more poignant than the previous one. To let somebody leave you is dying a little oneself, isn't it?
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I suppose it is, to both of your points. Severus is either in a mess or is one at the moment.
It's nice to see this story continuing. I do like the flashback method that gives us some wonderful insight into Severus. I especially like that it is her diary he is reading and I really like the idea of pulling McGonagall into this. I think she will be the right person for him to grieve with. I don't know why, but I just think that they would make wonderful friends. I look forward to reading more.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
It won't be just her diary either, as her entries into that were few and far between.I get the feeling McGonagall has personal experience of grief, so can help others through it too. Sharing his memories (and his grief too) may keep Severus sane(r).With any luck, more will be up by the end of the month.
the predecessor to this story, "R" for short, was such a gut-wrenchingly angsty story. I was crushed by Hermione's apparent death. I'm glad that you're writing this and planning a real sequel. the stories that have Severus and Hermione happy (for a while) and leave him as a grieving widower are always the hardest for me to bear reading, even more than the Hermione-the-widow stories, since Severus has endured and lost sooo much that to have him lose Hermione is literally the straw that broke the camel's back. the heartbreak is especially difficult for Severus and a reader like myself since he doesn't even have a child, an heir for comfort and consolation (in your story) to remember her by. It's stabbing him (and the heartbroken readers like me) in the gut. Severus is left too much like Rochester after Jane flees Thornfield.
Response from ayerf (Author of Tabula Rasa)
I can hardly leave Severus in the lurch! Be prepared for more stabs in the gut as grieving!Severus is probably going to be in each chapter. Poor thing didn't even get the chance to be a husband.'R' is soo much easier than typing out the full title. I'm always afraid that I'll mispell it.That smiley pretty much sums poor Severus's situation in this up: stuck in the past.Ooh, the temptation to spill some spoilers. Time to sit on my hands, before they give the game away.