Whoa! Sensuas maximus. I certainly hope you update soon!

Oh... my.... God!  Hermione!!!!!!!  Is she daft or something?  She is really asking for it.  Saying that to Snape is like putting a match to a puddle of gas.  Very explosive and unpredictable... Miss Granger better be prepared to pay dearly for her indiscretion.Great story... will we be seeing more soon?  Pretty please? 

Either Hermione likes the taste of leather or she's trying to reach Australia by digging. For someone as intelligent as she's meant to be, she certainly doesn't know when to keep her mouth shut. But I guess that even if she hadn't told the truth, Cruel!Ron would have.Hmm, I doubt Snape'll be handing her over to Filch for those detentions.X4. Oooh, the other Gryffindors aren't going to be happy with her...Please post more soon!

I think she did more then inserted her foot into her mouth, i think she swallowed the bloody thing!

I mean honestly could she not have come up with a better way to say what she ment!

perhaps saying i don't know, thank god Ron dared me to ask you to dance or i would never of had this wondrous opportunity, to dance with someone as talented as your self.

silly women!

although detention isn't that bad... not if its with Severus, yum... 

-KarlaMarie 

What to do for detention? Mmhh, dancing? Since he wants to win her over anyway and wants to dance. Making her do something nasty would be counterproductive in each case. So dancing it is. She could lay the blame for detention and point loss on Ron and his bet, making him remorseful each time she has to leave for detention all the while she secretly enjoys every encounter. And this way they could meet without raising suspicions.

Wow, Hermione almost gobsmacked and silent, and Snape (at least seems to be to me) shaking with anger (or is it hurt?).

Love his anticipation and her nervousness.  Probably a good thing she came clean with him before Ron had any say in the matter, vindictive as he is being! 

Loved it  

Detention!  That's a long way from the sexy samba or romantic rhumba I was imagining.  It just proves the cliche that honesty is not always the best policy.  I suppose we'll have to wonder forever what he might have said to her if she had just accepted his thanks.  I haven't a clue what he'll make her do.  The timing of this really isn't good, you know, unless NEWTs have already been finished, she should be revising like crazy.  Two weeks detention is alot of time to fill.  Perhaps a trip to the Forbidden Forest looking for potions ingredients? At any rate I hope she passively tortures him just a little by wearing her Muggle jeans each night.  He so deserves something totally distracting to watch but not touch.  Don't wait too long to update.  ~

GAAAAAHHHH!!!  Update, dammit!!!!!!!  I want more!  This is sooo good!  I hope Hermione and Severus get their heads on straight soon! 

Cheers,

Well that makes for an interesting twist.  How will Hermione react?  I can't to see how the resolve this!

well I hope the next chapter is in the wings, I can't wait for more. hurry please.

can't help but see AR in the "Texas" music video "In Demand" mentally while reading this. WHOA!! I'm really itching to see the movie Hermione & Snape ballroom dance together now.

Oy, not the most subtle way to tell him huh?

I can't wait to see how she makes this better.

In all fairness though, he turned her down when she asked him to dance.  Just as embarassing.

I am completely dissapointed by your story. While you set up a dicent if not somewhat fluffy premise your writing leaves much to be desired. I have chosen the following sentences from your story as examples of poor writing. I have also included corrections and reconfigurations which would make the sentences more coherrant. Please do not give up writing, we are all amatures here and this is an opportunity to learn, instead enlist the help of a good beta to check over all your chapters before you post them. SincerelyElenYour sentence,leaving a room full of stunned roomful of wizards and witches staring after him.Revision,leaving the room full of stuned wizards and witches. Helpful hint. Practice word economy, try and say what needs to be said with as few words as possible.Your sentenceOne witch in particular stood in the center of the dance floor, stunned expression on her face as she stared at the palm of her hand where Severus Snape had pressed a kiss into her palm.RevisionOne witch in particular stood in stunned silence in the middle of the dance floor staring at the palm which Severus Snape had left burning with a kiss.Helpful Hint: Include descriptive words, metaphors, and similies in your writing. These writing tools will help enhance your story and make it fuller and more worth reading. Also be aware of each word that you chose to use and how in enhances or detriments the words around it.Your SentenceA gasp escaped her as he spun her around the floor in a move that was a classic Tango step. Giving herself over to his lead, she let him guide her in the most intimate dance that could have been shared between a man and woman. Their bodies touched in suggestive ways, leaving little to each other’s imaginations as to the contours of their bodies.RevisionA startled gasp esaped Hermione as she was spun across the floor in a classic tango turn. Soon she was recaptured in an intamate embrace. Giving herself over to Snape's lead she allowed him to guide her. The sensuality of the Tango's nature left little to the imagination and Hermione had very quickly learned some of the most intamate details of Snape's body.Note that this revision includes one point of view, a return to Hermione and a verity of words, things which your sentence lacks.Helpful Hint: Keep the story coming from one perspective. This is Hermione's story, the writer should focus on her knowledge and allow for the eploration of other characters through Hermione. Also don't forget to remind your readers who the characters are from time to time sprinkle their names throughout the story frequently but not obsessively.Author's Response:

I can appreciate your desire to allow me the benefit of your wonderful wisdom as to how well I did, or didn't do on the writing of my fanfiction. I am far from a perfect writer. However, I do enjoy trying. So far, you are the first to criticize this story. I did take notice of the errors you pointed out and they have been fixed. I thank you for pointing them out. I do have a Beta, thank you and she does what I consider as a wonderful job. I noticed that you have no stories at all under your name? Do you write under a different name than what you review on? Perhaps you could be brave enough to put your own works up before saying something so harsh as you were so disappointed in mine?Oh, and while we are pointing out imperfections... Dissapointed is in incorrect spelling. (see above)Dicent is spelled decent.Intimate is not spelled IntamateEploration is actually ExplorationI actually would like to thank you for taking the time to point out the errors you found. I am, happy to say, only human. I do hope you took no offense to my pointing out the few mis-spellings you graced your review with. It served well to remind me that YOU are also, only human. I look forward to seeing any story you put up onto the site. I will read it happily and leave you a review to point out any errors your own beta may have missed. Perhaps, if you do not enjoy what you term as a fluffy stories, you could simply refrain from reading them.Thank you and have a Blessed day! ShilohDarke

Head Admin's Response:

While we do encourage constructive crititcism on the site, constructive criticism is not effectively delivered by being condescending or belittling the author. When one has constructive criticism to give, it is usually balanced by mentioning something that the author is doing correctly (in your opinion). If this is not done, the criticism is no longer seen as constructive, but destructive.

Might I also mention that for a criticism to be taken seriously by the author, the criticizer should not only spell properly but also punctuate correctly. You (the criticizer) might bring to my attention that no human being is perfect and that even imperfect beings have something valid to say. This is true. But then, I could say to you that no writer is perfect and no story is perfect, so why aren't you being equally critical of all the other stories you have reviewed on this site?

We have all come across a story that is not our 'cup of tea' or see a story written by an author that we may not particularly care for, but in those cases, the proper thing would be to walk away without leaving a review. In this case, I see this review (while it does have some valid points) as more of a personal attack on the author than constructive criticism.

ShilohDarke was given the opportunity to delete this review, but in the end, she decided to let it stand. Her response was clear-headed and classy, and I am extremely proud to host such a dignified author.

~notsosaintly 

I like it so far! I hope you'll post the next chapter soon. And you captured Ron's true nature as a git very well. Thumbs up!

WOW, *happy dance* Severus must pursue Hermione! anyway i can see how Ron is a git, but what are you going to do about Draco, I can see a few possible results that his behaviour can lead to.

Enjoyed the story and can not wait to see the next chapter. 

-karlamarie 

Wonderful story so far.  I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Wonderful story so far.  I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

I like this story.  I realy liked your New Beginnings story.  I like to read it when I feel sad, always cheers me up.  I think this stiry could do that as well.

I like this story.? Will Snape get to rescue Hermione from a hot-and-heavy Draco?? Please keep on!

I just read your first chapter on another archive and was thrilled to see Chapter Two here.  Lovely story.  Please keep writing!

As for naked Draco, do you have pictures?  I'm sure we'd all like to see them! 

I've just read the first four chapters, what a fab story, I love your Snape, and the story is moving quickly enough to keep us readers happy!Is Draco in the room when Hermione's clothes vanish, I do hope so!!

thats pretty cool, to bad the dress didnt disappear as soon as she left the room, cause that would have been funny!!

-KarlaMarie 

Poor Hermione. LOL!  She still has to face him in class too. *grins*

a nice story.  I also liked Melisandes's one shot and wished she had continued it.  I do think though that you need a Brit picker - words like 'gotten' for example would never come out of Albus' mouth - it simply wouldn't be in his vocabulary.  Other than that, I think your characterisations are pretty accurate.  Looking forward to more.

So does anyone have a pool going on how many detentions she'll survive .. uh .. intact? Can't be more than three can it? ;) Looking forward to your next installment. I like your Ginny and you've made Lavender much more palatable than in the books. And a very realistic Ron, too. Such a prat, huh?

BTW, I hope this doesn't show up twice; my computer argued about sending this the first time.