Chapter 17

Disclaimer: Not my characters; just having some fun!

Thanks go to Charmed_Nay for the beta read!

Harry didn't bother to dust the soot from his robes after he stepped out of the grate. He'd talked to both McGonagall and the headmaster for a long while and had found out many things about Snape and his mother that he'd never known. He was quite uncomfortable with all that he'd learned, but in an odd way, it all fit together and made sense. One thing was for certain: Snape was definitely on the Order's side, not Voldemort's.

Deciding to grab a sandwich, he made his way out into the hall and paused at the stairway. "Ron? You back yet?"

When there was no reply, he carried on to the kitchen and found Kreacher bustling about. "Er... hello," he said uncertainly.

The ugly little elf turned and nodded at him. "Master wants something?"

"I can get it."

Muttering, the elf went about what he was doing and ignored Harry altogether. Sandwich made and juice poured, Harry sat down and chewed absently as he thought about what Dumbledore had told him.

"So you see, Harry, there is no way that Severus would ever betray you. That would mean that he's betraying her memory." Dumbledore frowned sadly. "I don't think he'll ever get over her either."

Harry felt a little relieved, but he was still unsettled. What about Snape's feelings? This thought surprised him deeply. What did he care?

Startled, he found that his sandwich was gone, as was his drink. How long had he been sitting there? "Ah, Ron, I wish I could talk to you about this," he said softly. "Maybe I'll go round to the Burrow to see what they're up to."

The moment he entered the sitting room again, however, he knew that something wasn't right. He'd left the cabinet open and the Pensieve out in his rush to go to Hogwarts with McGonagall. "Good thing Ro..." His words died in his throat. There was a magazine...Hermione's Muggle magazine...on the counter next to the Pensieve. It hadn't been there before. No, it'd been upstairs, and that could only mean one thing.

"Shite! Ron's been here!"

Heart pounding, palms sweating, Harry quickly checked to see what Ron had witnessed, which made him panic even more. How could he have been so stupid? Why hadn't he been more careful?

"The Burrow," he yelled as he tossed in a handful of Floo powder. The instant the flames turned green, he hopped in and was whooshed away. He nearly toppled over Mrs. Weasley as he entered her kitchen.

"Harry dear, all right?"

"Where's Ron?"

"Gone to get something at your place for his father."

He ran his fingers through his hair. "I was just there and didn't see him."

"Is something wrong? What is it?" she asked worriedly.

"Harry?" Mr. Weasley had come in when he heard their raised voices.

"Ron's gone," he said simply. "I've got to find him. Have to explain."

"What are you on about?"

"I can't really say, but he found out something that he shouldn't have, and I'm afraid of what he might do."

"If this has to do with my boy, you need to tell me!" Mrs. Weasley said firmly.

"Evening, Potter," Draco said from the doorway.

"What are you doing here?"

"I live here."

"I mean... what are you doing down here? Anyone could come and see you."

"I've put a hex on the grate, windows, and doors. Anyone who doesn't know the Malfoys are here won't be able to get in or see in until one of us tells them to enter," Arthur said proudly.

Harry nodded and waved his hand dismissively. "I'll be back later."

"You can't just leave, son. Tell us everything."

"No, I can't!"

"I'll go with you," Draco offered.

Both Weasleys and Harry turned to gaze at him incredulously.

"No thanks," Harry said crisply, grabbing some Floo powder. "I'll be back once I've found him and tell you all that I can."

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"Severus?" Hermione called tentatively. She'd been sleeping when he'd gone to bed the night before...if he'd even been there at all...and she'd woken alone. The old infirmary was cold and quiet, giving her a feeling of foreboding. She'd never been left completely alone before.

Deciding to put off looking around until she'd been to the loo, she walked across the room and opened the door, slipping inside and closing it. She locked it for good measure and went over to the sink to wash her face and brush her teeth.

"Where is it?" she said aloud as she searched for her toothbrush.

"In the second drawer next to mine," Severus said from her far left.

Her scream rent the air, and her heart thumped wildly. "What are you doing?" she yelled, holding a hand to her chest as if trying to keep her heart from escaping.

"I'm having a bath." He smirked. "Did you think that I never bathe?"

"In the dark? I thought nobody was here!" She pulled her eyes away from his wet, bare chest and turned towards the sink again to get her toothbrush. However, her eyes found his reflection in the mirror.

"There's light from the window," he said as he passed his lathered flannel over his arms.

"Not very much," she commented. "You know, you needn't be so dark and mysterious all the time," she added in an attempt to lighten the situation. "This will only add to the rumor that you're truly a vampire."

He chuckled and began to rinse himself. "If I'd been a vampire, I'd have already given you the bite of death."

It was her turn to laugh. She was glad his foul mood had finally lifted. He'd been very angry the day before when he'd found her talking to Rabastan, and even after, when they'd talked over all that had been happening with Harry, his tone had been brusque. At least he'd filled her in on everything...or mostly everything anyway. Perhaps now she could ask him what she'd been wanting to.

"This is a first," he commented.

"What is?"

"The fact that you're in here while I'm having my bath. Make a habit of keeping Potter and Weasley company as well?"

She rinsed her mouth before turning to face him squarely. "I hope you aren't being serious."

In a surprising move, he stood, causing her to look away quickly...but not before she saw his naked body...water sliding down his pale skin, muscled legs, a dark thatch of hair surrounding his seemingly erect penis.

"Severus..."

"From your reaction to a nude male, I'd say that you haven't," he concluded, reaching for a towel. "And, no, I wasn't serious. I was simply making conversation."

"I shouldn't have stayed," she said, turning and easing towards the door.

"Hermione, I..."

When he stopped and said nothing else, she fled the room and went to the fire-lit grate, hoping the flames would ease her shivering. What had she been thinking to stay in there? Why hadn't he asked her to leave? Why had her pulse increased when she saw his body, mentally wishing she could have had a moment more to gaze at him without his knowing?

A click of the door told her that he'd come into the room where she was. A moment later, she heard the soft steps of his bare feet moving towards her. "I want to show you something," he said, finally drawing her gaze away from the fire.

"What?" she asked curiously, taking in his appearance. His hair was still damp, and a few glistening drops fell from a few of its ends, making a watery stain on his grey bathrobe. He only beckoned to her, and she followed him towards his makeshift laboratory.

Severus lifted a stoppered bottle from the counter. "Last night... I couldn't sleep, so I made this for you." He thrust the glass into her hand and looked away as she unstoppered it to smell it.

"My fragrance, you've captured it perfectly," she said with an appreciative smile as the light, citrus scent wafted in the air. "Thank you so much for this."

"I am pleased you like it."

She sensed that he wanted to say something more, so she waited, dabbing some of the liquid onto her wrists.

"There is a brew on the end that is settling. It's the same scent, but you can use it to wash your hair," he said finally.

"Thank you." After an awkward pause, she asked, "Where is Rabastan? The others?"

"Summoned."

"Oh." She didn't like the expression on his face. "Is something wrong?"

"I am not certain." He brushed by and went to their room, her on his heels.

"There's something you aren't telling me."

"Lots of things actually."

"I know!" she said loudly in frustration. "Why?" Hermione quickly turned around when he dropped his bathrobe to change into his clothes.

"We've been lucky so far," he said. "I am warring between resuming your Occlumency lessons and simply modifying some things in your mind."

"No! Don't you dare mess with my mind!"

He touched her shoulder, causing her to turn around and face him. Thankfully, he was fully dressed. "It's an option we must consider. More and more, the Dark Lord has mentioned you, enjoying how we are thwarting Potter." He frowned. "Some things haven't been right, Hermione. Rabastan... Anyway, I am afraid he'll see things in your mind that he shouldn't."

"Well, start my lessons again then."

"You aren't good enough to hide something effectively. Not yet. He would know you were trying to hide something, pursue it, and eventually find out what we don't want him to know." He sat down on the bed. "I've discovered a way to Occlude you, but it's quite tricky, and if I happen to not be with you, it wouldn't work."

"So, you want to modify my memories."

He sighed and lay back on the bed, gazing up at the ceiling. "I don't know what I want."

His voice sounded so strained and soft that she felt sorry for him and wished she could ease his burden somehow. She sat next to him and looked down at his face. "I know if I tried harder, I could learn Occlumency." She smiled. "You know me, I don't like to fail at anything, and it just might be enough to protect us when you aren't with me to Occlude me like you said." He simply gazed at her intently, and she couldn't help remembering his eyes as they met hers the night he was on top of her, grinding his body against hers that first time.

Her stomach tingled as the memory played in her mind. What would it be like to be his lover? Truly his lover. She remembered how they'd lost control only a couple of days before, him mostly, but her also. The argument had led to snogging and then to a talk. Would he refuse her if she asked him to go farther?

Don't even think about that, Hermione. Ron. He's the one for you.

Unfortunately, she wasn't all that certain about that any longer. Ron didn't fill her mind as much as Severus did. How could she be faithful to him when her mind wouldn't allow it any longer? And just what did her heart have to say about things? She sighed. Once she was free, things would go back to normal. Severus would move on, so would she, and this would eventually just be a memory.

He sat up suddenly, eyes level with hers. "Hermione, I just entered your mind, and you had no idea I was there."

Flushing instantly, she tried to look away from his questioning gaze; however, his fingers on her chin forced her to stay still. "W-what did you see?"

Closer he came, his eyes flicking toward her lips, and then she felt his lips pressing against hers hesitantly. It wasn't the confident, brusque kiss that they'd perfected and displayed to others. Nor was it the passionate kiss that exploded between them upon occasion. It was something different entirely. It was soft, it was warm, it was intoxicating. His tongue moved languidly with hers, exploring and tasting. Of their own volition, her hands slid up his chest and rested on either side of his face, pulling him closer still.

She felt her body being gently guided back to the bed, and she didn't fight it. Hermione wanted the kiss to not stop. One of her hands moved down and around his waist while the other slid behind his neck. His hands, though, weren't so immobile. One was beneath her, rubbing her back, and the other glided over her bare thigh. His lips finally left hers and traveled to her throat, enabling her to catch her breath and then moan as his mouth brought about delightful sensations.

"Hermione," he said, voice rumbling in her ear. "This will have to stop."

"I... But why?"

"I want you."

She was silent. He was serious. What did she want? Ron's face flitted before her, and she exhaled deeply. This had to stop. If it didn't, she'd lose her heart to him. However, she breathlessly said, "I want you, too."

"Whatever we might want, Hermione, we can't take that next step." He moved back a little to look into her eyes. "Do not be offended. Make no mistake," he ground against her, his erection firmly pressing against her belly, "there is nothing wrong with you. You are everything that... If we do this, the consequences will be too much."

"I can deal with choices I've made," she said defiantly. And she would. If she could just have this... only this to remember him by once they parted, she would be satisfied. Ron need never know. But you'll know, a voice whispered.

In that moment, his eyes softened, and she thought that he'd relent. His words disappointed her. "I find it hard to deal with certain choices at times, and there are some mistakes that I vowed to never make again." He pressed his lips against hers in a soft, chaste kiss. "I am sorry."

And then he was gone, leaving her to reflect on what had just happened. He was right. They shouldn't let things truly go that far. What had she been thinking? What had happened to her since she'd come to stay with him? What would Ron say? The citrus fragrance that he'd made for her assailed her nostrils once more, and she smiled. Whatever happened in the future would happen. Even if that meant never finding out what she sometimes thought about.

What mistakes did he not want to make again? And just how had she, of all people, been able to affect him in such a way? His eyes, once black and cold, now seemed much warmer. What she needed to do was soul searching. At the moment, she was someone she didn't recognize at all.

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"Miss Brown," McGonagall said sternly, "I will ask you once more. Where was Mr. Weasley going?"

"I don't know!" she said, arms crossed over her chest.

The tear tracks on her cheeks were nearly drying, and Harry had the urge to shake her and force her into talking. Angrily, he said, "You're lying!"

"I'm not!"

"Yeah?" He whipped out his wand and was pleased to see her recoil.

"Potter," McGonagall said shakily, uncertain what he was about to do.

In a move that Snape would be proud of, he pointed his wand at her and said, "Legilimens."

To his surprise, it worked. He was suddenly seeing things that were definitely not from his memories. And there it was... Ron and Lavender kissing and talking. He could feel her happiness and anger that he'd come to see her, yet was leaving to find Hermione. Other things began to flash before his eyes, and he could feel her desperately trying to push him from her mind, but before she could, a scene of her conjuring a map for Ron and him pointing to a section came to him. He pulled out of her mind.

"Where did you learn to do that?" McGonagall asked, clearly shocked.

"Snape," he replied.

Lavender looked frightened and scooted back. "He's... he's going after her, Granger," she admitted. "But not before he gets someone to go with him. He said he couldn't show up empty handed and was going to trade someone for her." The tears began falling again. "He used me. It's always about her."

Harry ignored her. "I know where he's going," he said. "I'm going to go after him."

"Miss Brown, you are dismissed," she said, adding, "but we will discuss your punishment tomorrow." Once the girl was gone, she turned to Harry again. "You cannot go alone." She brought a hand up to tame her long hair, which had been let down for the evening.

"I'll have to, won't I?"

"Harry, I beg you. Please trust Remus to help you. What of Bill Weasley or Arthur?" She nodded. "I'm certain Arthur would jump at the chance to help in some way."

"I can't believe I was so stupid! This is all my fault!" he said, angry with himself.

"It is," she agreed. "I have played my part in this as well, and right now, I'm asking you to please talk to Arthur Weasley. Let him give you advice."

Nodding, Harry said, "I think I'll talk to Lupin first and then Mr. Weasley."

"And Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"While I don't exactly... approve of what you did, I must say you make me proud."

He was embarrassed to see that her eyes were shiny. "Thank you. That means a lot to me."

"Off with you. Keep me posted."

"Yes, ma'am."

Southern's Notes: I'm sorry this is a bit short, but the next part shouldn't be separated.