Chapter One - Draco Meets Dudley
Chapter 1 of 18
jmlane57Harry declares a vendetta on Draco Malfoy and his lowlife cousin Dudley for joining forces and brutally raping Ginny in order to get revenge on him.
ReviewedDraco Lucius Malfoy Apparated to Privet Drive in Little Whinging, Surrey, where his nemesis, Harry James Potter, had lived (albeit unwillingly) for three months out of every year since 1991, when he had begun attending the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. He had once overheard Harry telling his friends the abuse he took day in and day out, year in and year out, emotional and physical, from his mother's sister and her family, not to mention all they denied him, both emotionally and materially, simply because he was a member of the wizarding world.
Being denied material things wasn't so bad; he could buy them himself if necessary. It was the years of emotional and physical abuse that were getting to him. If this kept up much longer, he was likely to need psychiatric counseling to deal with all the post-traumatic stress he had endured because of it up to this point. His friends at Hogwarts, his schoolwork there which would likely lead to a career as an Auror, and adopted family the Weasleys were the only things that kept him anywhere near sane.
It sounded to Draco like the Dursleys were the kind of people he should get to know ... and all the better if he could manage to do so without their realising that he himself was a wizard, since he had also heard that they hated anything and everything associated with magic, wizards and witches, and whenever they could, preferred to deny Harry was any relation to them whatsoever...and tell whoever asked that he attended "St. Brutus's Academy for Incurably Criminal Boys" rather than Hogwarts.
Draco knew that Harry certainly had a good time making fun of it when with his friends, especially since it was a mere smokescreen to cover up his true wizarding background and nature. It wouldn't be easy to hide the fact that he was also a wizard; he would simply have to do the best he could. He even wore Muggle clothing, but carefully concealed his wand on his person so he could lay hands on it at a moment's notice without arousing suspicion until it was too late.
As he was coming up the walk toward number four, he saw a very heavy-set youth about his own age come out the door. Draco knew he would have to pretend to be lost in order to throw him off the track. "Excuse me," he called out.
"Yeah? What the bloody hell do you want?" Dudley Dursley almost spat. "I've got places to go and things to do."
"I'm new to the area and am looking for the Dursley residence. I understand it is on this street," Draco returned smoothly. Butter wouldn't have melted in his mouth, but even under the best of circumstances, which these certainly wouldn't be...especially not once Draco and Dudley paired up...nothing good could come of this.
Particularly not for Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter or any others closely associated with him. In any case, Dudley had neither the brains nor the perceptiveness to see through his inquisitor's deception. Even if he had, though, it was unlikely to have changed his decision to assist Draco in his quest.
"You found it. I'm Dudley Dursley, son of the house. Why are you looking for us?"
"Let's just say that we have ... mutual acquaintances. May I assume you've heard of ... Harry Potter?"
This time Dudley did spit, his pudgy face twisted into a sneer. "He's my cousin...at least technically. Why? How do you know him? You aren't a wizard, are you?" He eyed Draco suspiciously.
In spite of himself Draco was impressed. All the same, he mistook Dudley's craftiness for intelligence and acted accordingly. "No, by no means," Draco lied smoothly. "I've simply ... heard of him. I understand he's ... quite famous."
"Infamous should be the word," Dudley shot back. "He's nothing but a freeloading goody-goody and a smart-mouthed, arrogant bastard, imposing on my mum and dad's generosity for the last sixteen years. I've lost count how many times my dad's had to take a strap to him for mouthing off, either to my parents or to me. He has no business even being under our roof. Why and how he ever managed to end up on our doorstep, I'll never know."
"Rumour has it that his parents were killed when he was a baby and that your mother was the only living relative of his mother. Where would you expect him to go if your parents hadn't taken him in, however unwillingly?"
"Either an orphanage, another Muggle family ... or better yet, the streets. He's made a fool of me, belittled me in front of my friends for as long as I can remember."
Draco could certainly identify with that, but dared not admit his true nature or identity just yet. But from the sound of it, Dudley and his parents had no more love for Harry than he himself did...and for basically the same reasons. But how could they effectively get revenge on Potter once and for all? Although the scenario was certainly enjoyable, just hurting Potter physically didn't give sufficient satisfaction.
For that, it was necessary to hurt someone Harry was emotionally close to, like the Mudblood Granger or the red-headed wimp Weasley ... and most recently, the wimp's sister Ginny, who was now Potter's main squeeze as of this past May and the winner of the Quidditch Cup by Gryffindor House. Draco had heard that Ginny had run up to Harry and thrown herself into his arms, obviously excited about the victory; it was then that Potter had pulled her close and kissed her passionately in front of everyone in Gryffindor House. Once they finally parted, he had grabbed her hand and they headed out through the Gryffindor portrait hole, no doubt on their way to a private rendezvous.
He had never seen them personally, but had heard reports from others in Slytherin House that the couple were turning up more and more often in odd places, most of the time snogging each other senseless. Draco couldn't imagine anyone wanting to snog Potter...a skinny, mop-haired, green-eyed refugee from a concentration camp...at least as far as he was concerned, anyway ... but there was no accounting for taste, since he had also heard that Ginny had had a crush on him for years.
Whatever Potter's other shortcomings, though, even Draco had to admit he had good taste in women ... first Cho Chang, the beautiful Ravenclaw Seeker, then the slender, petite, brown-eyed, and equally beautiful redhead Ginny Weasley, who was equally at home on a Quidditch broom either as a Chaser or Seeker, depending on the circumstances of the game in question.
Had she and Potter "gone all the way" together yet? Considering how often he had heard of them snogging, it wouldn't surprise him if they had. After all, redheads were reported to be very hot-blooded, and Potter would have had to have been barking mad not to have claimed her for himself long ago. Draco knew he certainly would have in the same situation. Potter would also have had to have been literally as blind as the proverbial bat not to see what a dish she had become! Even now, just thinking of Ginny's lips, legs, breasts and backside was enough to make Draco's whanger stand at attention.
But what if Potter hadn't taken Ginny yet? What if she was still ... Merlin forbid ... a virgin? What if he and Dudley joined forces and went after her themselves? He would have to check both Ginny and Harry's schedules so he could pinpoint the best time to take her, a time when both Potter and his other friends were sure to be elsewhere, then contact Dudley to meet him and go from there. It might also be a good idea to make sure that neither the Mudblood Granger nor Weasley the wimp was in any position to interfere with their plans.
Unfortunately, he wasn't thinking that any others were likely (or able) to interfere. If he had, he and Dudley might have gotten away with it, perhaps even blamed their actions on someone else, if not Potter himself. (As it would turn out, Harry and company would take steps to see that they were both punished to the full extent of both wizarding and Muggle law. Neither were Draco nor Dudley aware that Harry had his own vault at Gringotts, the fortune left to him by his parents large enough to rival even that of the Malfoys...and that would work to his advantage, in more ways than one.)
At the moment, however, Draco was too busy plotting how to claim that luscious little redhead ... and once Dudley heard about Ginny, he would surely want to have his innings with her himself, the perfect revenge on his despised cousin. Of course, since Ginny was a talented witch herself, it was likely to be necessary to catch her by surprise so she would be unable to hex them...perhaps even render her unconscious, then tie her down or something and have their way with her.
"Were you aware that your cousin has a ... steady girlfriend?" Draco asked carefully.
"No, I wasn't," Dudley replied, unable to help wondering what kind of girl Harry's alleged girlfriend had to be, and in spite of himself was curious enough to ask for details concerning her. "What is she like?"
"Slender, petite and beautiful. Almost sixteen years old, waist-length red-gold hair, brown eyes, turned-up nose, full lips and well-endowed in all the right places."
At less than a week before his seventeenth birthday, Dudley hadn't even had one date, much less a steady girlfriend, mainly due to his weight, still roughly that of a young killer whale despite the diet he had been on for the better part of the last six months, but also because of his nasty disposition and his hoodlum gang...in fact, he and they were the terror of the Little Whinging neighborhood where they (and Harry) lived.
Just the same, he had had his own bouts with teenage hormones just as Harry had, and the description the intriguing stranger before him was giving of Harry's dishy girlfriend made them kick in big-time. He still couldn't imagine how the bloke before him could know so much about her, but that was immaterial, at least at the moment. She would not only be the answer to all his fantasies, but he would be able to flaunt what he had done in Harry's face and enjoy his reaction, believing that there was nothing he could do to avenge her.
Unluckily for him, Dudley had forgotten that his erstwhile cousin would soon turn seventeen and thus be considered of age in the wizarding world, able to use magic legally whenever he wanted...and once he had heard what Draco and Dudley had done to the love of his life, what he was likely to do would make the Sectumsempra curse look like a blessing.
Probably the only thing that would even begin to stop him from doing either that or one of the "unforgivable" curses would be his friends telling him that neither Draco nor Dudley was worth a life sentence in Azkaban. Even at that, Harry would likely retort that even cooling his heels in Azkaban would almost be worth it in order to have them out of his hair forever.
For the time being, however, Draco and Dudley went to the nearest pub and put their heads together, beginning to make their nefarious plans and map out their strategy.
* * * * *
In order that Dudley not forget what their main objective was, Draco made a photo montage of Ginny for him to keep constantly before him, with emphasis on her more obvious charms...lips, legs, breasts and backside. He assured Dudley that Harry had much the same type of picture montage of her in his bedroom, albeit very personally autographed.
In fact, he'd even told him that she had signed on the back of Harry's copy the following suggestive lines:
Harry ...
Hope you like the pictures, luv...and that you decide in favour of what we discussed the other night. I'd really love to be with you like that, and I hope you want to be with me the same way. After all, we've been together for a month; I really think it's time.
- Yours forever,
Ginny
P.S. I love you.
Of course, neither had any way of knowing whether or not Harry really had a cheesecake picture montage of Ginny in his room, much less that they were autographed in the same manner...but it wouldn't surprise Draco if he did and they were. What was important was that Dudley thought so, that Ginny was constantly kept before him. If he wanted her, he would have to do what Draco wanted, whatever it happened to be ... and whatever his objections to doing so.
"Why do I have to listen to you?" Dudley groused.
"Because I'm the one with the knowledge you need. I suggest you keep that in mind," Draco retorted threateningly. "Otherwise you'll never touch her or even see her. Get me?"
Dudley nodded sullenly but didn't argue.
Draco smiled charmingly, but at the same time, even Dudley saw evil in it. "As long as we understand each other. Now, I've found out that Ginny is supposed to be alone at 3 p.m. today. I cannot tell you where she'll be; you simply have to take my word for it. Also, when the time comes, I'll have to take you there, because you could not get there on your own. Be ready at the first street that intersects with yours at two-thirty, and make sure your parents can't see you. If they ask where you're going, just tell them you're going to meet some friends. Got that?"
"Yeah, yeah," Dudley grumbled, the only thing keeping him from chucking the whole mess being the thought of the gorgeous little redhead naked and spread out like a sumptuous banquet before him. Even if he had to let this Draco person go first, it would be worth waiting for to finally lose his virginity as his friends had lost theirs.
He only wished that Harry could be there when it happened, if only to be forced to watch, not to mention tied down at a strategic spot where he could see everything, yet be unable to do anything to stop them.
For that matter, he even considered suggesting it to Draco. It would be the perfect way to drive Harry crazy, especially if they stripped him too, then watched him to see how aroused he got at what they did. When he saw Draco again three hours later, he told him his idea, and even as impressed as Draco was at Dudley's fiendishness, had to veto it.
"But why?" Dudley demanded.
"Because to do that, we would need help...and the more people involved in this, the greater the likelihood that we'll be found out ... and I really don't think you want people finding out, especially not your parents...or law enforcement people. Understand me?"
Dudley nodded reluctantly, still miffed that Draco had vetoed his idea, attempting to convince him one more time. "I could get some of my friends to help. They don't like Harry any more than I do. A couple of them would take him by surprise, then we could..."
Draco emphatically shook his head. "Also, should you try to implicate me in this, I'll sue you for everything you've got, for defamation of character at the very least. My family has a lot of money, whereas yours doesn't. You couldn't possibly win against us."
Dudley gave him a suspicious look. "Just who are you, anyway?"
"Suffice it to say that if you do as I tell you, we'll get along just fine. Go against me and I'll destroy you...and what's more, enjoy doing it."
One look into Draco's cold blue eyes and Dudley knew he was serious. Despite his reservations about the whole matter, he knew he was in too deep to turn back now. Draco then directed him to take hold of his arm; Dudley gave him a threatening look.
"It's only for a few seconds. I'm taking you to where Ginny is. Now let's get a move on or we'll miss her...not to mention our chance to take her without witnesses."
Dudley glared at his companion but did as instructed; he soon felt himself being squeezed like a tube of toothpaste before the two found themselves on the Hogwarts grounds not far from the Quidditch pitch. A practice game was scheduled for 3:30 p.m. on this day, and Ginny, as the best of the three Chasers on the Gryffindor team, needed to be there.
Apparition tests were also being conducted on this particular day for all the sixth-years who turned seventeen on or by a given day who had signed up for Apparition lessons and/or practice. It was for this reason that the normal inability to Apparate onto or off the Hogwarts grounds had temporarily been suspended. Even though he had only recently turned seventeen...within the last two weeks, in fact...Draco had already managed to get an Apparition License via a combination of studying ahead and his father's money and influence. As far as he knew, neither Potter nor either of his friends had managed that yet.
"Where the eff are we? Where's Ginny? You said she'd be here."
"Patience. You'll see her soon."
Almost before the words were out of his mouth, the object of their search appeared. Ginny wore black slacks and a matching jumper underneath her red and gold Quidditch robes. Draco and Dudley hid behind the nearest wall; shortly after she passed them, Draco retrieved his wand, making sure that Dudley couldn't see it, then pointed it at her and thought, "Sleep, my beauty. Sleep!" As she collapsed to the ground, unconscious, Dudley gaped at him.
"What the bloody hell did you do to her?"
"Later. Now let's get her tied up." Draco then said, "Incarcerous," softly, specifying ropes as a restraint. Soon Ginny was tied hand and foot; Draco then murmured "Inanimatus Conjurus," picturing a cloth blindfold, which appeared in his hand.
He stuffed it in his pocket; then they picked her up...or rather, Draco did...but even as they gazed upon her sleeping face as Draco carried her, her head resting on his shoulder, her long, red-gold hair, thick, dark eyelashes, the dusting of freckles across her tiny, slightly upturned nose and her full lips (not to mention her small but perfect breasts), Dudley felt his groin tighten almost unbearably. Seeing her close up, he could definitely understand why Harry had fallen in love with her. She was the loveliest girl he had ever seen. It would seem an eternity until he could possess her, but at least he was one step closer to doing so.
"Where are we going now?" Dudley asked.
"You'll see," Draco returned enigmatically; they then Apparated out of the Hogwarts courtyard, destination Malfoy Manor ... or more specifically, Draco's wing, which contained his bedroom, the quarters of his personal house-elf, and the room where...if all went according to plan...Ginny Weasley would be turned from an unsullied maiden into a licentious whore.
To make sure things would be even easier for him, he went over to his dresser and got a small bottle from it...a bottle which contained Amortentia, a strong love potion. The effects only lasted a few hours, but that should be enough for his purposes. He put some between her slack lips, then stroked her throat to make sure she swallowed it. Draco was sure it would happen, mainly because he intended to add the finishing touch: planting an illusion in her mind that he (and Dudley) were Harry.
She would see his face, hear his voice, feel his hands, lips and body, not his or Dudley's. All that would be seen by her mind's eye, if nothing else, and because of her love for him, she would accept virtually anything he dished out. But to maintain the illusion, she would need to be blindfolded. Once they had stripped her and restrained her again, Draco noted the time: 4 p.m.
By now the others had surely missed her, and would be wondering where she was. If only for that reason, Draco couldn't help wishing he could have known what everyone was thinking right now...especially Harry.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Vendetta
25 Reviews | 7.6/10 Average
What a fitting and lovely ending! Wonderful job. Sorry I was such a critical reviewer; I'm sure you got tired of seeing my comments after awhile. Anyway, great job!! ~Jen
Okay, so there were a lot of moments in this chapter I liked such as the Harry/Ginny interactions, and a lot of moments I didn't think were very plausible and didn't really do anything for the story like the judge not interrupting once during Harry and Petunia's verbal shout match and the argument in the first place. Overall the chapter wasn't bad, but I thought you'd already established that Harry felt no more connection to his relatives in the last chapter. Good job, nonetheless.~Jen
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
I look at the argument and the judge's not stopping it this way: I put myself in Harry's shoes and considered what I would do in his position. Harry had the chance to tell his nasty relatives just what he thought of them for abusing him all his life -- and the judge sensed this, so she didn't try to stop him. He needed to be able to vent his spleen without fear of punishment, such as starvation or being beaten. She would, of course, have put a stop to it if it got out of hand. In this way he achieved closure once and for all. I don't know what other parts you were unsure of, plausibility-wise; all I can say about them is the fact that that is how the story happened to flow as I wrote it. What matters is that you liked the story overall, whatever your reservations.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
I look at the argument and the judge's not stopping it this way: I put myself in Harry's shoes and considered what I would do in his position. Harry had the chance to tell his nasty relatives just what he thought of them for abusing him all his life -- and the judge sensed this, so she didn't try to stop him. He needed to be able to vent his spleen without fear of punishment, such as starvation or being beaten. She would, of course, have put a stop to it if it got out of hand. In this way he achieved closure once and for all. I don't know what other parts you were unsure of, plausibility-wise; all I can say about them is the fact that that is how the story happened to flow as I wrote it. What matters is that you liked the story overall, whatever your reservations.
Nice chapter! I think I liked this trial content more than Draco's, not that Draco's was bad. Great job!!~Jen
I didn't really like how Harry's outburst came about in this chapter, but overall it wasn't bad. His outburst was justified, of course, but the wording seemed a bit awkward. Great job though.~Jen
Great chapter! I thought all the testimony was very well-written...good job!~Jen
Great chapter! I loved Ginny's gift...Harry's reaction was great. I liked the part about Hermione doing something similar for Ron later...fun idea! Wonderful job!~Jen
I'm glad Ginny was able to take this new development well. I really liked the emotions displayed in this chapter. Great job! ~Jen
Poor Ginny! I hope she won't relapse too badly. I think your writing is getting better, too. I don't feel there's anything missing from these most recent chapter. Keep it up!~Jen
Great chapter!! I especially liked the ending with the different sayings and the deeper meaning of love you wrote about. Wonderful job!~Jen
Aww...another cute, adorable chapter! I really like the chapters you write with all the Harry/Ginny fluff time. Wonderful job!!~Jen
Awww...this was a truly lovely and adorable chapter. So romantic and perfect...terrific job!! I absolutely loved this chapter! Amazing work!~Jen
Good chapter. I still can't quite put my finger on the missing aspect of the writing, but it's still a good plot nonetheless. I think the one thing that truly puzzles me is that in order for rape to be, you know, rape the woman has to report and testify to that fact. So if Ginny thinks Harry assaulted her...how can Harry possibly stand to file charges if she doesn't know that Draco and Dudley actually did it to her? I may be looking way too deeply into this, but I feel it would probably help me feel less confused.~Jen
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
Believe me, rape is rape, whether or not the woman reports and testifies about it--but don't worry, Ginny WILL eventually find out and testify about it. I'm sure I put in something where Harry is advised that she must testify about it in order for there to be a good chance of those responsible being convicted. That and his promise to her to tell her what happened are what mainly what prompts him to finally give her the whole story. He didn't intend to tell her until absolutely necessary in an attempt to spare her any further trauma. As it is, she's going to to go through nightmares, which will require counseling. Also, Harry can stand to file charges because he knows he's not responsible for her rape experience and relishes the idea of going after Draco and his lowlife cousin...in the end, for himself as well as Ginny.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
Believe me, rape is rape, whether or not the woman reports and testifies about it--but don't worry, Ginny WILL eventually find out and testify about it. I'm sure I put in something where Harry is advised that she must testify about it in order for there to be a good chance of those responsible being convicted. That and his promise to her to tell her what happened are what mainly what prompts him to finally give her the whole story. He didn't intend to tell her until absolutely necessary in an attempt to spare her any further trauma. As it is, she's going to to go through nightmares, which will require counseling. Also, Harry can stand to file charges because he knows he's not responsible for her rape experience and relishes the idea of going after Draco and his lowlife cousin...in the end, for himself as well as Ginny.
Sorry I didn't review the last chapter, but I wanted to keep reading. Anyway, I really like this storyline, but there's something just a little off--I don't really know what exactly it is though. I'm a bit confused about Ginny's perception of the whole thing...I mean does she know Draco and Dudley raped her or does she still believe Harry was just a little rough with her? Other than that, it's not bad so far. ~Jen
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
No, Ginny doesn't really know that Draco and Dudley raped her. Draco has blindfolded her, given her some love potion and an hypnotic suggestion that it's Harry doing these things to her. He wants her to think it's Harry assaulting her in an attempt to sabotage the Harry/Ginny relationship...but continue reading and you'll learn how things eventually play out.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
No, Ginny doesn't really know that Draco and Dudley raped her. Draco has blindfolded her, given her some love potion and an hypnotic suggestion that it's Harry doing these things to her. He wants her to think it's Harry assaulting her in an attempt to sabotage the Harry/Ginny relationship...but continue reading and you'll learn how things eventually play out.
I'm not sure whether they could have realistically discovered who took Ginny that quickly, but I'm glad they did. Great job. Harry's cooling down happened faster than I thought it would when he faced Draco, but otherwise the characters were written well. ~Jen
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
The reason Harry knew who took Ginny so soon was because Neville had witnessed her abduction and came to tell him as fast as he could. I'm sure I mentioned that in the story. Oh, Harry was furious when he realised at had happened, but once he calmed down a bit, he knew it wasn't worth getting in trouble by going after Draco and Dudley as he originally intended to.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
The reason Harry knew who took Ginny so soon was because Neville had witnessed her abduction and came to tell him as fast as he could. I'm sure I mentioned that in the story. Oh, Harry was furious when he realised at had happened, but once he calmed down a bit, he knew it wasn't worth getting in trouble by going after Draco and Dudley as he originally intended to.
I feel so bad for Ginny, she's going to think Harry's doing everything!! I hope she not too scarred by that later. Can't wait to read on.~Jen
It is one the best written stories on this site, and beyond. I feel satisfaction that Harry has won, and sadness that Ginny had to endure the torture of Draco and Dudley.The plot is twisted and worriedly disturbing. Yet, it is a story you want and need to read right the way through.Many Best wishes for sharing such a wonderful story.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
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Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
Thank you most kindly! (blush) Too many more reviews like this and I'll get a swelled head ... hehe!! But so glad you enjoyed it. Makes an author feel their time was well- spent writing a story to get such praise. Thanx again!!
jmlane57
Mmm... Nice shakespeare quote thrown in there.
I've been trying to follow this story, but it's really hard to envision Ginny as being so absolutely docile. It's completely out of character for her.
I also find it incredibly difficult to accept that Arthur and Molly would allow Ginny and Harry to share a bed in their home when Molly is rather strict with her children. After all, Ginny is still underage. I could imagine Harry and Ginny having a sexual relationship that was hidden, but not one that is so obviously open.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
It may have seemed docile, but if you read the sequence where Harry and Ginny argue over her needing counseling, you should know that she did not just blithely accept his declaration. He had to all but threaten her with Stunning to get her to agree to it...and even then, it was reluctant.
Also, did you read the entire sequence of events from the time Harry officially renewed his relationship with Ginny that day at Diagon Alley (Chapter 4)? If so, you should know that they are keeping their relationship on the Q.T., have since the day by the pond (Chapter 6).
If Molly’s figured out what’s going on, it’s because of her mother’s intuition, not because the couple is being too open and obvious about it … because they both know how she would react if they were. [Because your reaction was what it was, I can’t help getting the impression that you haven’t.] In addition, at least officially, they have separate bedrooms. Ginny has hers, and Harry is staying in Fred and George’s old room. BTW, Harry is seventeen (Chapter 11) and Ginny will be sixteen not long after that (Chapter 13). Even if they were slightly underage when their intimacy began, things like that can happen in the wizarding world, sooner than in ours, if only slightly.
The only ones who really know of said intimacy are Ginny’s counselor, who’s sworn to secrecy anyway, as are Ron and Hermione. Besides, they are acting responsibly, using contraception and all that, so I don’t think there’s too much to worry about. I see nothing wrong with it as long as that’s the case.
Great beginning. I do wonder why Dudley, whose fear and hatred of wizards, has been pushed to the side. Perhaps the promise of sex is greater than his fer of wizards ... could be. Looks like his second (lower) brain has taken over.
oooohhh. wow. i wonder how dudley is so stupid to not know that Draco is a wizard. lol. poor poor ginny.at least she gets to think its Harry. so sad, so sad. but keep going! please? *puppy eyes*
It was a very beautiful and heart warming story, of a Lover fighting for his or her beloved.A wonderful piece of writing. Best wishes,
???the story is ok, but it's written a lot different than i'm used to. and you repeat a lot of statements. (you said the part about dudley becoming a serial rapist twice -- once w/harry, ron, and hermione, and once w/harry and ginny. just letting you know.) i expected there to be a bit more action (of the butt-kicking variety), but i do like the story.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
I intended it to be different, mainly since it's darker than the kind of fics I usually write. As for repeating the thing about Dudley, the first time Harry is telling his friends about it, the second, he's telling Ginny.As you may note, completely different people. If he was telling them all at once, I could understand your objection...but he wasn't.Neither Ron nor Hermione told Ginny anything about what happened to her before this because Harry thought it best...and besides, he'd promised Ginny that he would do it at the proper time--and at this point in the story is that time. They're only with him here because he needs their help and strength to be able to tell Ginny everything she needs to know.As for butt-kicking, Harry may not have been able to do it literally (although he was certainly tempted--but it would likely have landed him in prison and he has better things to do in his life). However, don't worry too much--he's going to get the chance to do plenty of verbal butt-kicking very soon, in both Draco and Dudley's trials!
YAY for Harry! I love it when theres a happy ending. Serves Draco and Dummy right.
Response from togspled (Reviewer)
ok. i misspoke...this isnt a happy ending..yet...but it seems to be leading to one. so im happy.
I find myself a little lost in the beginning ... there seems to be an issue with time frame. I'm assuming Ginny would have been arriving early for the game since she was playing in it. Now, when Neville approaches Harry, it is well into the game. Why didn't Neville find Harry immediately? He certainly knew where to find him.
The other point is that Ron and Hermione are half an hour behind Harry, who no doubt raced at lightning speed to get to Ginny. But I don't feel more than 5 minutes pass in the conversation between Harry and Draco.
Also, I don't quite understand why Harry didn't force his way into the room to save Ginny when Draco told him that his cousin "is in there right now, taking his pleasure with her." Instead he uncharacteristically waits. And then Ron and Hermione arrive and they all un-Gryffindorishly demand that Draco "hand her over" and ... just wait.
Of course, none of this affects my desire to read more of this story. I just wanted to point out a few things that my mind was questioning.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
Harry's wondering where Ginny is, naturally, but is fully expecting her to show up any minute with an explanation. Also, Neville didn't tell Harry immediately because he was witnessing the abduction and wanted to make sure to get all the details of same so Harry would know what to do to rescue her after he told him. Then after Draco and Dudley left with her, it took him a few minutes to get to the Quidditch pitch to tell Harry what had happened, which would also take some time.
It also took Neville a few minutes to tell Hermione and Ron what he had told Harry, then a few minutes for them to fetch their own brooms and take off after Harry, so as I said, they were indeed just a half hour behind him.
Harry was quite upset, and if he had forced his way in and hexed Dudley as he wanted to, that hex might have hit Ginny too, and she was being hurt enough as it was.
Besides, Draco had already assaulted her, so what would have been the point to Harry's forcing his way in? As he told his friends, the damage had already been done, no matter what they did. That was the main reason none of them just burst in--not that they didn't want to!
Hope this clears up at least some of your questions--and even so, I'm glad you like the story in spite of them.
I've been meaning to read this, as I keep seeing it on the update list, and now that I have I'm quite curious as to what's going to happen next. I found some of this hard to follow because of the way the story is told. Sometimes it seems like it's from Draco's point of view, others at Dudley's, and then most of the time it feels like an unseen narrator is telling us the story from his point of view. Many times I was confused as to who "he" was, having to stop and backtrack or skip forward to know if it was Draco or Dudley.The plot is different than any I've read, so I'm going to carry on. See you when I'm able to review the next chapter. Cheers.
Response from jmlane57 (Author of Vendetta)
Didn't mean to make it difficult to follow; it was just the way the story happened to come out as I wrote it. But even at that, what matters is that you were intrigued enough to want to read it. There are seven chapters up now, one of which is rather ... racy, if you get my drift ... although I hope you review at least one of these at your earliest convenience.
jmlane57