Melting The Darkness

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns and rocks the Potterverse. I just love playing with her toys.

'And as the morning steals upon the night, Melting the darkness...' William Shakespeare, The Tempest

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The Order of the Phoenix learned of Voldemort's demise when Fawkes arrived at their Headquarters with Snape's body and Harry's message that the enemy had been destroyed. He had also sent explicit instructions that no one was to come looking for him, and that he would contact them when he was ready to return. Hermione had not been at Headquarters then, but had returned shortly after Fawkes' arrival. She had felt queasy since she'd awoken the night before, screaming and bathed in sweat, crying from an unknown dream. Her first instinct was to curl up in bed and wait for it to pass, but always a practical girl, she knew that a walk in the brisk spring air would do her a world of good. She wanted time away from the Order, time to think.

She pulled her cloak closer around her body as she bent her head into the wind. She couldn't shake the uneasiness that she'd felt ever since she woke from the dream; it was a clinging, cloying, sick-making feeling that not even the sunlight nor the promise of spring could remove.

She returned to Headquarters feeling slightly lighter, but was greeted by a roomful of stunned and distressed expressions. She felt fear clutch at her heart, twist in her gut, and she knew. The look on Remus' face, the stunned expressions of the twins and Ron, the sobbing gasps of Molly Weasley, all told her that the final battle had come. There had been death, of that she was certain, but whose death?

'What's happened?' she asked, her mouth dry. She didn't move, couldn't move, wouldn't move, until someone told her something. Anything.

'He's been defeated, Hermione. Voldemort. He's gone.' Ron's voice was tinged with relief and disbelief, as though by uttering the words he could somehow convince himself of their truth.

She looked from Ron's face to Remus', then to Minerva's. Yes, Voldemort was destroyed, but Harry? Severus? What about them?

'Harry is alright, dear,' Molly hastened to add as she walked over to embrace Hermione.

Although Hermione felt a blast of relief that her friend was alive, the knots in her stomach twisted further as she heard herself ask, 'And Severus?'

Molly stiffened slightly in her embrace and held Hermione at arm's length. She looked to Remus helplessly, and Hermione could see that the werewolf was struggling with himself. She looked around wildly at the other members.

'Fred? George? Remus? MINERVA? What about Severus?' The panic was now evident in her voice, but she didn't care. She had to know. Where was he?

Remus' voice was calm.

'Hermione.'

'Remus.' Her voice was barely a whisper.

'Fawkes brought his body back a couple of hours ago. Voldemort got to him before they... before Harry was able to kill the bastard.'

The flow of adrenaline was like cold water that washed over her, and her initial reaction was to run, to scream, to rend her swollen heart from her chest and put it aside so that it would not suffocate her. She couldn't breathe properly; it was hard to breathe... She felt herself swaying, spinning, and her knees gave out as the room went grey...

~~

She awoke in her room, lying fully clothed on the bed, a cold compress on her forehead. She remembered being downstairs, talking with Remus, and she looked around for a sign that it, too, had been a dream. From the heaviness in her heart, she knew that life had twisted once more and had taken Severus with it. His body was somewhere in the building, but she couldn't bear to see him, couldn't begin to think of him as anything other than alive. Minerva would see to his body. Hermione sat alone and cried long, wracking tears for the man she loved and for all that they'd lost. There was a careful knock at the door.

'Come in,' she said, wiping her eyes and trying to control the tremor in her voice.

The door opened to reveal the lined, concerned face of the Headmistress. She moved slowly towards Hermione and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. Hermione felt her tears flow afresh, and she looked up helplessly into Minerva's face. She was surprised to see her own sorrow reflected in the face of her Head of House.

'I loved him too, child,' she whispered and gently pressed a letter into Hermione's hands. She turned quickly and left, closing the door softly behind her. Through teary eyes Hermione recognised her name in Harry's untidy handwriting, and with shaking hands, she unfolded the piece of paper.

Hermione,

Harry

She had been almost blinded by her grief then, had almost allowed herself to slip too far into misery, but the voice, his voice, silky and comforting inside her head had somehow pulled her to safety. Control your emotions. He had always purported that she was too emotional a creature, and he had tried to school her in Occlumency, but she preferred to keep her emotions where she could see them. This time, however, out of necessity, she had swallowed the feelings and kept them tightly occluded until she could spend time with them and have proper time to grieve.

~~

Fawkes had accompanied them to the funeral, and the Phoenix's song had been carried by the cold April breeze that blew over the small, shivering gathering as Severus Snape, Order of Merlin First Class (posthumously), was laid to rest. Afterward, Fawkes had appeared at the Order's Headquarters, and nobody saw reason to object. Dumbledore had always said that the Phoenix was a power unto itself, and the bird had come and gone at will. They all had felt privately honoured that Fawkes had chosen to make their Headquarters his home, if only for a while.

Hermione had spent that night pacing back and forth in her room. She felt that she was rapidly coming undone and railed against her inability to keep herself together. She could not have known that her mind needed release and that her emotions were instinctively preparing for her to grieve. She found herself close to tears at all times, and the floodgates finally opened when she received Severus' personal effects from Hogwarts. Blinded by her tears, she had locked herself in her room and had refused to come out, even to eat. Molly had made several attempts to persuade her, but she was adamant. Ron had tried to talk to her, but her scathing verbal attack had made him retreat even further.

Hermione had gone through Snape's small chest of personal items, lovingly fingering his Slytherin cufflinks and the green, leather-bound book that had been her gift to him the previous Christmas. There was also a letter, magically enchanted to appear only to her and readable only after a series of incantations which must be performed in the correct order. She had smiled wistfully – it was a little game of theirs, to see who could be tricked into failure first. She had never failed his tests, and tonight was no exception. She whispered the spells as though he could somehow hear her, and her heart jumped as the seal on the envelope opened. She carefully withdrew the sheet of parchment, and her eyes filled with tears as his careful, spiked handwriting materialized on the pages. She held the letter in shaking hands and took deep steadying breaths before reading his words.

My love,

Severus

Hermione had cried uncontrollably then. Her tears seemed to have no end as they washed over her and engulfed her, sweeping her away to distant shores of despair. She cried for all the losses in her life, for her youth that had been stolen by the war, for Harry and Severus, Bill and Dumbledore, Neville, Dean, Lee, Sirius... and all the countless others who were victims. She felt her grief like a solid entity within her, heavy and forever immovable. She cried until her sorrow broke like a fever, and on the other side of that long dark night, she felt a lightening of her grief, as though the weight within her had been somewhat lessened. She didn't know it then, but her road to healing had begun.

~fin~

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A/N: Finally, it is finished. The story actually continues along a different vein, as the question to Harry's whereabouts is still unanswered. Reviews eagerly welcomed, and thanks again to all the people who encouraged me throughout this story! Y'all rock!