Beyond The Crossroads

The two men had spent most of the grey daylight hours hidden among the Muggles in the village of Little Hangleton. They had circumvented the graveyard upon their arrival and then had walked uneasily through the town, each man occupied with his own thoughts while keeping their eyes open to any dangers around them. Snape once again recalled Mad-Eye Moody's mantra of 'Constant Vigilance' and knew that the old fool would be doing his nut were he to see them walking about in plain view.

Severus and Harry had barely spoken to each other as they ate a light meal at a small deli on a quiet street, and Snape had leaned back in his chair to look at the younger man. Harry sat with downcast eyes, completely absorbed in his own thoughts, the weight of an entire world on his shoulders. Snape knew that Harry would fight to the death to complete their assignment and that, were their plan to prove successful, tomorrow could hold a glimmer of hope. Severus Snape was not a man who tended towards optimism; he had seen and done too much to believe in 'things working out for the best'. Those were the sentiments of Albus Dumbledore. Snape preferred not to waste time in the present thinking of his non-existent future. His past was difficult enough.

He had subconsciously rubbed his left forearm, but his Mark hadn't burned in many weeks. He wondered ...

~*~

Snape remembered the night when he had sat in Dumbledore's office and glared at the older man across his desk. The Headmaster was becoming weaker by the day, and Snape knew him well enough to realize that almost no sacrifice would be too great in order to save Potter. Severus Snape could not allow that to happen.

He had once more pleaded with Albus to release him from their Unbreakable Vow, but, typically, the Headmaster had smiled knowingly and gently, but had firmly denied him.

'Then I am sorry, Headmaster, but I cannot comply with your request,' Snape had said as strongly as he could, standing and drawing himself to his full height, hoping that his actions would lend some weight to his statement. He had known that they were empty words before they were uttered; Dumbledore had his balls in an iron-clad Unbreakable Vow that would make any lawyer proud. Every possible scenario had been covered, and Snape was bound to him and to it.

'Severus.' Dumbledore's voice was gentle, and it was all that Snape could do not to cringe from the man, cringe from the things he was asking him, no -- COMMANDING him to do. He had committed atrocities for the Dark Lord, but this! He had dropped into his seat and held his head in his hands as he pressed the flats of his palms into his eyes, hoping to quell the fierce headache that threatened.

'Headmaster, there must be another way.' Snape, never an optimistic man, had still dared to hope.

Dumbledore had risen with difficulty and walked around to Snape's side of the desk. He had paused for a moment before he placed his good hand on Snape's shoulder.

'You know there is no other way. You above everyone else know what is to happen, Severus, what you must do and what I must do. Harry must be protected at all costs, Severus; he is our only chance. Voldemort has seen to that.'

Snape bowed his head in defeat. He knew that the Headmaster was a stubborn old fool, but he knew that he was bound by magic to this unthinkable fate. He had not been prepared for the statement that followed.

'Severus, I will need you to complete one further task.'

Snape's eyes had narrowed at the very tone of Albus' voice -- he knew that tone, and it never bode well.

'I am listening,' he said, grimacing. He knew full well that he was Dumbledore's pawn and had very little choice in the matter.

'I will need you to accompany Harry ...'

'NO!'

'Severus ...'

'Albus, no. I have a duty to you, but that does NOT mean I will babysit that boy ...'

'Severus.' Dumbledore's voice had been a little more insistent and surprisingly strong, considering the man's physical state. He held Snape's eyes with his own, and the younger man had recoiled against the mental image of what Dumbledore had initially requested of him. The weight of that knowledge burned in his gut, but the additional burden of Harry Potter ...'

A long moment of silence had passed between the two men as Snape fought with himself. No, he would refuse ... This was too much ... Surely someone else could do it? No sooner had the words flashed through his consciousness than he knew the answer. He could not refuse, nothing would be too much, and he knew that Dumbledore would entrust nobody else with this task. He sighed.

'What must I do, Albus?' His voice had been flat and without emotion.

'I will need you to accompany the boy on his journey to find the remaining Horcruxes. Although Mister Weasley and Miss Granger will want to go with him, your knowledge of the Dark Arts and Dark Magic will serve him better.'

Snape's gut had wrenched again at the mention of Hermione's name.

~*~

In the days immediately following Dumbledore's death, Snape had gone into hiding. He had known that his life would be for naught were he to be found by any member of the Order, and he had doubted whether even Hermione would believe his story. He had not been able to attend Dumbledore's funeral, and sat in a dingy room in a dingy pub contemplating his next move, as he grasped a Galleon in his palm. He flipped the coin through his fingers as he pondered what was left of his future and the dubious wisdom of Dumbledore's request. He knew that, were he to start down this path, the outcome would not be certain, but he grudgingly admitted to himself that he had no choice whether he started down the path or not. Dumbledore may be dead, but his final wish could not be denied.

He swore extravagantly and tapped his wand against the edge of the coin. It glowed for a moment, and he had fervently hoped that Hermione still kept her coin with her at all times, and that she had not dismissed him as a murderer. He was a murderer, of course he was, many times over, but this was different. He had to make her understand. She was, after all, a very clever witch.

The Galleon had glowed briefly in his open palm, and in the dull light of the room, he could clearly make out the words 'Eat Shit' on the face of the large coin. A clever witch with an extremely vengeful side.

He had dropped his wards before he tapped the coin once again, and she had Apparated into his room almost immediately. Her face had been contorted by many emotions, fury, anger, fear, sorrow and ... he searched for it ... yes, there it was. Love. Almost hidden, but there. He wordlessly re-warded and sealed the room; she was always careful, but times were very different now. He was a wanted man.

He had met her eyes with difficulty and moved to catch her hands as she had rushed at him, screaming and pummelling his chest wildly. He was thankful for the Imperturbable Charm on the door; he had thought that their meeting would go badly. She had collapsed against him, weeping openly, and he could do nothing more than lower her to the ground at his feet. He had Summoned a chair and sat quietly as she cried, not touching her or uttering a single word.

Her sobs had eventually quietened, and she leaned wearily against his legs, wiping her eyes. He rested a hand on her head and had smoothed her unruly curls. She lifted her tear-stained face and looked at him searchingly. He nodded and helped her rise before pulling her to sit on his lap. She had wrapped her arms around him and buried her face in his neck.

'Why?' she had whispered, her voice still shaky with emotion. His resolve had threatened to crumble and he savagely tightened his mental grip on it.

'Hermione, I need you to understand something.' He had carefully considered his words as he didn't want her to leap to the wrong conclusion before she had heard him all the way through. He had disentangled her arms from his shoulders and had stared into her eyes. She met his with difficulty, but he held her chin firmly until eventually she had held his gaze.

'I had an agreement with ... Albus.' His voice had almost broken with the emotion of uttering the Headmaster's name. 'He and I made an Unbreakable Vow many years ago, and he held me to it to the very last ...' His voice shook slightly with barely controlled emotion. 'He ordered me to ...' Snape could barely say the words. '... sacrifice his life in order that Harry might live to defeat the Dark Lord. I was, regrettably, unable to prevent that situation from coming to pass and had to ... comply with his wishes, even though they were against my own.'

Hermione's gaze had never left his, and he had felt oddly exposed, as though by admitting his culpability, he had somehow become less controlled. He had not relished the feeling.

He fleetingly remembered Hermione's face that fateful night, when she and the Lovegood girl had come into his quarters to warn him the night of the attack on Hogwarts. Mercifully, it was after he had Stunned Flitwick, and he'd seen the terror so evident on both their young faces. He had wanted to suspend time so that he could ensure her safety, and had done the only thing he could have: he tried to delay the inevitable by ordering them to help the fallen Professor as he had swept from the room.

'I am sorry, Hermione. I tried to save him. I ... had ... no ... choice.' His voice shook with a weakness that had infuriated him, but she had firmly prevented him from descending into his familiar place of darkness. She had refused to let him go.

'Severus.'

Hermione's eyes had reflected her understanding, and her gentle voice broke through his thoughts as she had brought her hand up to touch his face. He had felt his skin burn at her touch, as though the atrocities of his life were being purged from his body by her faith and her love. He shook his head and was unable to understand how she could believe him, why she could still find it in herself to love him, to care, to trust.

'There is something further,' he continued, and she had leaned back slightly to survey his face, cocking her head slightly and raising an eyebrow. He was uncomfortable with her open stare, but had been unable to escape, so he had continued quickly.

'The ... Headmaster has instructed me to accompany Potter in search of the remaining Horcruxes.' He had raised his hand to silence her outburst and proceeded. 'Dumbledore felt that my considerable knowledge of all things associated with Dark Magic would be of invaluable assistance to Potter. I, unfortunately, believe the boy to be useless, but I am still under an obligation to comply with Dumbledore's orders.'

Hermione's eyes had widened as Snape revealed the plan to her, and he had imagined the many wheels turning in her mind. He knew that she would, of course, have wanted to go with her friend on his quest, but he had insisted that she desist from any such plans. As usual, she had far too many questions that could not be answered, and they each had become furious with the other's refusal to change their positions. They had argued fiercely that night, their screams made private by the charms and other wards that he'd placed on the door. She had attempted to leave at one point during their argument, but the wards on the room had prevented her from Apparating. She had turned towards him then and had tried to maintain a modicum of logic.

'Severus, you must let me go.' Her words, although quietly spoken, had carried with them more force than he had expected.

His logic had been as irrefutable as hers.

'Hermione, you must be aware that I am completely unable to do so.'

His simple statement had surprised them both. Of course, he had known that his feelings for her were dangerous, the ones that troubled him deep within the recesses of his own heart and mind -- those feelings. He had doubted whether she knew just how dangerous loving Severus Snape could be.

She had pushed her small body against his chest as they lay in bed later that night, shifting her backside until she lay flush against him. She had reached out for his hand and draped his arm across her, entwining her fingers in his. He was still not comfortable with such intimacy, and he felt the need to pull away, to guard himself as he always did. Her grip had tightened as though she had read his mind and anticipated his thoughts. Clever little witch.

~*~

Snape was abruptly brought back to the present as Harry shifted, knocking his feet against the table. With a start he realized that the sun had moved across the sky and was beginning to set. The surrounding buildings cast shadows that lengthened towards them, and he shivered as their cold fingers touched his face.

TBC

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