All My Children

Disclaimer: I've swiped some of Rowling's characters for a bit of fun. I'll Floo them home later.

Thanks go to Charmed_Nay for taking the time to beta this for me.

Hermione immediately noticed that the atmosphere in the room had changed. A harp had appeared, which was playing a soft melody, a flowery scent filled the room, and the table had been set enticingly.

"Did you do this?" she asked tentatively, nodding to the table. She didn't want him to think she was hoping that he had.

"No, it seems," he looked around at the room, "that the room sees fit to turn this meal into something... ah... romantic."

"Oh... well then..." She couldn't put to words what she'd first thought. She wanted to say that they just go along with it, but the thought of admitting such a thing mortified her.

"I didn't suggest that we act on it," he said acridly, breaking into her thoughts.

"I know that, Severus," she said deftly with a hint of sarcasm, unable to look at him.

"You seem horrified at the thought." His voice was quiet, and his glare didn't seem as harsh as he strode forward to face her. He stopped before her and cocked his head to the side, giving her no option but to look at him. "Why, might I ask, are you gazing at me like that?" he finally asked.

"Look," she began, "I know you don't have anything to do with this room." She gestured towards the table. "I simply wanted to know if maybe you... you did it. I think it's lovely is all. And if you had... well..."

"Well, what?" he prodded.

"I don't know," she said honestly, stepping by him and going to take her seat at the table. She didn't turn back to see him enter the loo, but she heard the door close with a snap behind her.

Something in the pit of her stomach bothered her. She could feel it burning and knew exactly what it was. It was disappointment...despair even. Severus Snape would never change. He would never be the type of man to set a romantic scene such as the one before her. He would never be someone with whom she could converse with for hours on end. He would never be interested in her. Uncertain why she would want him to be in the first place, she pondered her line of thoughts and feelings. The time they'd spent reading through the rubbish story had shown her a different side to him.

She wished he were capable of being so much more than some dark, cranky, former professor. For certain he was a friend... now anyway. Would he object to taking private dinners with her after they were finally found or released from the room's spell? Why shouldn't they be allowed to carry on a friendship now that they'd endured being imprisoned together? Not having anyone close to her at the castle was wearing on her.

"May I?" came a silky voice.

She looked up to find Severus gesturing to the chair on her right. "Yes, of course," she said with a nod and a tight smile.

"What were you thinking of?"

"Nothing."

"You seemed lost in thought." He uncorked the wine bottle, bypassing the pitcher of juice. "Care for a glass?"

"Please." She decided to say some of what she'd been thinking. "After this is over, will we still be friends?"

"I was quite unaware that we were friends," he said easily, placing a glass in front of her while he began pouring his.

Hermione said nothing, slightly stung. She'd assumed very little, and yet, it was still too much. Blinking away the hurt, she sipped her wine and pointedly ignored him, turning her attention to the plate before her. "Mmmm, these jacket potatoes are delicious. They don't taste as if they've been prepared as normal." She chewed and then asked, "Do you think the elves make this food then?"

Severus nodded. "I'm certain. We're still in the castle." His blank expression changed into a slight sneer. "Are you assuming the room is cooking for us? Some dark magic is afoot maybe? Or perhaps it's ordering out for us..."

"Don't be snide," she retorted sharply. "What's gotten into your underpants anyway? Before I went to use the toilet, you were in a better mood. Right now, you're being a bloody prat."

He looked surprised for an instant. "I don't know what you mean."

Hermione ignored him, quelled her disappointment, and realized that it was better to know at that moment that he didn't even want to be her friend, much less dinner date. She should have known not to get her hopes up where he was concerned. She viciously attacked the food before her as if it were at fault for her stupidity.

"If I offended you..."

"You didn't," she interrupted.

"Yes, but you seem..."

She pierced a potato and glared at him. Noting that he seemed contrite, she looked away. "I just felt that we'd changed...our relationship...somehow. I suppose I saw us being friends after this. You know, talking sometimes, maybe having dinner." She went back to eating.

"That might not be difficult to arrange," he said, sounding as if each word was forced.

"If you have to force yourself to agree to be my friend, Severus, then it's not worth the trouble," Hermione said, moving her attention back to the rest of her meal. The rest of the meal was finished in silence, but she could feel his eyes upon her every now and then.

When she made no move to speak to him again after she'd finished eating and was simply sipping on her wine, he asked, "Do you want some time to yourself before we begin reading the story again?"

"I'm sick of the story," Hermione said. "You read it."

"Very well," he said curtly, rising, and moving over to the couch with the parchment to get comfortable.

She watched him while he read, sipping on her wine slowly. Many times she had to bite her lip to keep from laughing at his expression. He'd been outraged, annoyed, disgusted, and even amused all in the space of twenty minutes. Unable to stay away from the horrid tale any longer, she moved to sit next to him.

Saying nothing to her, he moved closer and flicked his wand so that the parchment maneuvered to where she could read it.

"Wait. Oh, my God! What's Sirius Black doing in here?" she asked, appalled. "Can't they let the man rest in peace?"

"It appears that Hermione was angry that Snape asked Zabini over for dinner." He held up a hand and nodded. "Zabini is a female in this story."

She giggled and allowed him to continue, enjoying his dry, sarcastic tone.

"Sirius Black walked out of the Veil and happened upon Hogwarts just in time to take Hermione on a date to make me jealous." His expression darkened. "For the record, mind, I would have never touched any woman that had gone anywhere near Black's bed."

"I can't believe they would put me with him!" she said indignantly. "I mean... I did like him when I first found out..."

"When you and Potter broke him out of that tower and enabled his escape you mean? Costing me an Order of Merlin?" he interrupted.

"That's unfair! You know that he was innocent. If we hadn't done that, he would have been killed for something he didn't do," Hermione said, hoping he'd see her point.

"Black, that bastard, was guilty of many things," he said, eyes glittering.

"I didn't like who he became. When we went to his house that summer before he died, he was hoping that Harry would be kicked out of Hogwarts, trying to force him to be like his father, and just a bad influence all together." She shook her head. "I felt so guilty when he died because I'd started really disliking him. I could even see Mrs. Weasley's dislike for him, and I just didn't want Harry to be taken in."

She stopped when she noticed the way he was gazing at her. It was almost as if he were appraising her for the first time. Feeling suddenly self-conscious, she looked away... only to muster her courage and look back at him boldly.

"What are you looking at me like that for?"

"I believe, Hermione, that you're the first person here who hasn't gone out of the way to tell me what a great man Black was." His eyes darted down to her lips briefly, causing her to moisten them unconsciously. "I find your insight to his true character, though you never really knew him, appealing."

"Well... thank you," she replied, moving a bit closer before she realized she was leaning in for a kiss. What the hell am I doing? she asked herself. Straightening back up, she added, "Besides, I'd always thought that he and Lupin had something going, what with the way Lupin acted after Sirius died. Of course, I never knew that he and Tonks had become so close."

"Lupin," Severus spat, shaking his head. "Of those I found most deplorable whilst in school, I suppose I can tolerate him the most, but I still dislike him on many levels. He's always been weak when it came to standing up to his friends and others, though he didn't mind occasionally joining in to taunt others if he was in the mood."

"People can change," Hermione said.

"Not often."

"You have."

"Not much."

"Much," she said, gazing down at the parchment. "Oh, good grief." She pointed to the next line that caught her attention. "Tell me your bed chambers aren't decorated anything like this?"

Severus pulled Blaise to his bed and sat down to watch her dance out of her robes. She paused to look around. "Oh, Sevvie-Wevvie, but these lovely shades of pink and baby blue are just perfect. And just look at those light green Slytherin bed sheets! Why, all of these pastels tell me you are a much more sensitive man than I'd ever dreamed of."

"My, God, I feel it, too. I fell for you so hard, so fast. Hell, I am hard just thinking of you."

Severus shook his head. "This author will become acquainted with the tip of my wand as soon as I am able to find out a name."

"I can't believe they'd make you into something soft like that. I doubt your declaration of love would be anything like that," Hermione said aloud, though she'd meant to simply think that. "Oh, sorry."

"So, by saying that in that manner, you are admitting that yours would be in such a fashion?"

"Of course not," she replied quickly. "I just imagine you to grab your witch around the waist, slam her against the wall roughly, and tell her something along the lines of, 'You are mine and will always be so.'"

"I am not incapable of tenderness, you know," he said in a bored voice. "In fact..."

His head lowered suddenly, and his lips grazed hers so softly that she had to wonder if they'd been there at all. He pulled back as quickly as he'd begun, leaving her confused and partly wanting to continue.

"That was..." His voice trailed away.

"Soft," she offered.

At the same instant, he murmured, "Inappropriate."

Clearing her throat, she gazed back at the parchment, embarrassed.

"Severus, I found out this evening that I am pregnant."

"I suppose where there's a will, there's a way," Hermione said, rubbing her stomach. "The Mediwitch Poppy says that I'm having twins...a girl and a boy!"

"Oh, here we go with twins again. You'd think it's the most common thing in the world," Hermione said, shaking her head.

"Mediwitch Poppy?" Severus questioned snidely. "I had no idea that our matron changed professions."

"Don't be so particular," Hermione said, jabbing him with her elbow. "At least they aren't calling her a Healer."

"Back to the rubbish," he said, nodding to the parchment.

"This news makes me happy," Severus said, picking her up and whirling her around. "However, you and your actions with Black have displeased me."

"Thank you, my most gracious master," Hermione said in gratitude. "I look forward to allowing you to degrade me."

"Who the hell wrote this shite?" Hermione said angrily, tossing the parchment across the room in a fit of rage. "If you ever," she waggled her finger at Snape, "think that I'll follow you around like some little dog, acting submissive, and allowing you to strap me up into anything or allow you to hit me, you've got another think coming." She could feel the heat radiating from her. "No man would ever force me into such a humiliating role! I fight for those who are downtrodden and sure as hell wouldn't willingly become one!"

Severus raised an eyebrow in shock in the beginning of her tirade, and before she'd finished, the other had moved up to join it, his mouth parting with his surprise.

"Oh, don't look at me like that! How would you like it if I tied you up and took a flogger to your body?" she asked heatedly.

"Is that a threat?" he asked dangerously, leaning closer. "Or a promise?"

"Whatever one you'd like," she said, leaning into him, lips crashing with his, hands tangling in each other's hair. Their kiss continued many minutes, resulting in several buttons of his shirt becoming unfastened and his hand finding its way beneath her blouse.

Hermione broke their kiss to moan slightly and arch back, giving him access to her throat. As soon as his lips began placing open-mouthed kisses across her flesh, he stilled, breathing heavily.

Foggily, Hermione realized just what she and he had been about. As they shifted and righted themselves, she felt the warmth spreading in her cheeks. Daring a glance at him, she saw that he was just as flustered, hair wildly sticking out all over, while he buttoned his shirt.

She began laughing. "Well, that was unexpected."

"It was..."

"If you say inappropriate, I think I'll kick your arse," she interrupted. Their bout of snogging had been amazing, causing her to want even more, though it was way too soon.

As he looked at her, she saw the devious glint in his eyes. "Why, Miss Granger," he began in mock surprise, "I never knew you were such a physical woman."

She pointed to his hair and began laughing. As he spoke to her, a few locks that were pointing straight up were bobbing about, making it look as if he had a few snakes dancing on top of his head.

While he smoothed down his hair, he nodded towards hers. "You might do the same. It makes you look..." His voice trailed away.

"Look what?" she asked, laughter receding as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Like an animal with a mane? Messy?"

"Bedded," he supplied for her.

The next word died on her lips. The way he'd said that one word and the way he'd looked at her when he'd said it sent shivers down her spine. "Oh," she murmured. "Well, almost anyway." She tried to smile to put him at ease. For some reason, it looked as if he'd bolt at any moment.

As he looked over at the strewn parchment, he smirked. "So passionate about things you believe in, aren't you?"

"I admit that I normally don't throw things," she said, grinning broadly. "I have no idea what got into me!"

"Perhaps we should stop reading. There's no telling what you might do next," he said, flicking his wand and organizing the parchment again.

"I believe, Severus, that it's much safer if we read," Hermione blurted without thinking. "Damn. I've been doing that a lot lately."

He said nothing but nodded towards the parchment. "Shall we?"

"Skip over anything where my character is being so submissive and allowing you to... you know."

"Ah, this looks interesting," Severus said, grin threatening to spread on his face.

"Oh, you would like that!" Hermione said with laughter. "Severus punched Sirius numerous times and sent him falling backwards down the stairs. If Lupin hadn't been there snogging Tonks near a singing suit of armor, Sirius might have continued down the next flight. As it was, Lupin took one look at his old lover and told Tonks that he had to tend to him. Tonks stomped her feet in anger and said that she was going down to Hagrid's hut, whispering that she could morph herself into the size of woman he needed and wouldn't be waiting around for Lupin any longer."

"You read that with amusement," Severus said.

"Well, yes, earlier I said that I'd always thought that maybe Sirius and Lupin were quite friendly. It's just odd that the author seems to think so as well."

"It seems that the author also has a thing for Hagrid. Why, that's the second time that he's mentioned in a sexual way," Severus said, shaking his head in annoyance and leaning forward to flip through the next few pages of parchment. "Good Lord," he said.

Hermione leaned closer and began snickering. The characters were all at the Three Broomsticks and drunk on butterbeer...something only a house-elf could get intoxicated on. "Wait, I'm supposed to be pregnant. What am I doing drinking? I wouldn't harm my unborn child that way!"

"Well, it's just butterbeer."

"Yes, but look." She pointed to one of the lines. "It says that Tonks and I are competing on who can get pissed quicker by doing shots. You, Sirius, Lupin, and Hagrid seem to be having a lively conversation. Hang on! How am I suddenly five months pregnant? I only told you the news a few pages back, right?"

He scowled and flipped forward a few pages. "Ah, I don't think you'll be wanting to read this one," he said quickly, turning to another page.

"What was it?" she asked. "You've got me curious now."

"No, really," he said, swatting her hands away.

"Am I tied up in some bondage contraption?"

He shook his head. "But it is yet another corny sex scene. I am offended, so I am certain that you would be as well."

Hermione stilled his hand with hers, lightly tracing his fingers before flipping back.

Hermione howled like a wolf, competing with the sounds of Lupin's howling and Sirius' barking from the room next door to theirs, as Snape continued to lap the juices between her legs, not missing the lines that dripped down her thigh. Splaying the seeping folds apart, he flicked his weeping member over the puffed and used flesh before plunging in to the hilt and pounding her steadily into the mattress until the box spring beneath gave way, causing the bed to crash to the floor, echoing with their yells of orgasm.

"You're right. I don't think I want to read this."

Severus' expression was indignant. "Can you believe that they likened us both to animals?" He nodded as if convincing himself. "That's right. You're howling like a bloody werewolf, and I'm lapping up juices like a fucking dog." He leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "The best thing about that paragraph was the word hilt."

Dumbfounded, Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion. "What's so good about a hilt?" she asked finally. The moment he smirked, she realized what he was referring to. "Oh, right. The Prince's sword!" She shook with laughter. "I'm starting to worry about you."

"How so?" he asked in amusement.

"Well, I suppose I'm lucky I'm not a princess. You'd be trying to sheath your sword to its hilt in my royal scabbard." They both snickered.

"I supposed I shouldn't have told you that," he said lightly with a shrug. "So long as it never leaves this room."

"Never, Majesty," she quipped. "At least you weren't a plonker, giving your name something extra ridiculous like, oh, Mr. Wiggly or something."

His eyes narrowed.

"And speaking of leaving this room, maybe we should try the door?"

"I just tried a little while ago," he confessed.

"Great, looks like we'll be spending another night in here," she said, stretching. "At least it was comfortable. Er... were you comfortable?"

"Until I woke, yes," he replied, adjusting the sleeves on his shirt so that the white peeked out from beneath the black of his robes a little more.

"Was it that bad waking up next to me?"

She'd intended the question to be friendly and joking, but it came out as a serious question, and by the way he was gauging his words, he was going to answer her seriously.

"It was unexpected," he finally said. "I fell asleep in my clothes on a couch across from you, and I woke on a bed in nightclothes right next to you."

Hermione smiled. "Well, I'm glad that you aren't saying it was horrible at least."

"Tonight might be a different story," he said calmly, flicking the parchment so that it landed on the small table near them.

"Why? I don't snore. Not that I know of anyway," she said, feeling a little nervous.

"The difference about tonight, Hermione, is that I will be lying next to you in bed while my mind plays over what happened between us earlier." He stood briskly. "Frankly, I am uncertain if I will be able to refrain from repeating it; thus, I'd be taking advantage of the situation."

Whoa... Now that's a confession, she thought to herself. How did she feel about that? "Taking advantage isn't always a bad thing. What's wrong with a bit of a snog amongst friends?" She grinned wickedly. "Oh, that's right. You aren't aware that we are friends."

"Those were not the words that I'd intended," he said quickly.

"Really. I understand," she said softly, rising. "I think I'll go have a bath and hopefully relax before reading any more of that story. It looks like we're nearly finished."

"I'm glad," he nodded.

"Yes, it is getting a bit tedious, isn't it?"

"Finishing it will enable us to leave the room," he commented. "At least, that is what I'm hoping." He looked around. "Strange room."

"I won't be long," she said, hurrying off to the bath. Once inside, she leaned back against the door. How soon was too soon to be with a man? Snogging would be all right, but what if they allowed it to carry on? "No, I won't," she whispered to herself. "Just some snogging. Nothing more."

Southern's Notes: So many reasons for my delay in posting. I was working on another story for the ss/hg exchange, I was sick for a couple of days, my beta skipped town on me, I was working, and I was lazy. Plenty of excuses to choose from, mates. Sorry.

I've gone ahead and made a rough outline of the rest of the story. It appears that there will be one more chapter with them in the room and getting out. Then, I'll post the final chapter after that.