Passions

Disclaimer: I've borrowed some of J.K. Rowling's characters for a bit of fun only.

I'd like to say thanks to my lovely beta, Charmed_Nay, for going through this for me...as always! CocoaChristy deserves some recognition as well. She always listens to my moaning and ponderings about the plot, helping me and encouraging me when I need it.

Severus found himself confiding, "I wonder if the writer of this story knows that I truly did see Bess. It's the only thing that I can think of." He watched her face to gauge her feelings on the matter as he sipped his tea.

"I'd say it's more of a lucky guess. As you said earlier, they added that bit about Narcissa Malfoy and you, and it's not true. I'd say they are just tossing people in," she huffed. "To think that they'd put me with Fleur or... the others!"

"Yes, well, I didn't request to be paired with you either," he reminded snidely. Part of his mind filed away that she didn't seem to mind that he had been with Bess. Perhaps he had mistakenly believed her to be like the others...nosy, wanting more details, or snide, looking down upon him for his choices.

"Why do you always think that I'm taking a poke at you? I was talking about Malfoy! And Legolas! And... oh, forget it." She rolled her eyes and sat back, bringing her nearly empty cup to her lips.

"But not talking about me?" He seriously doubted that.

"Not at all."

"Is that right?" he asked, voice politely incredulous, shaking his head. Interesting.

"As you know, I've come to respect you. I always have... most of the time."

"Indeed."

"Whatever you say, Professor! You're not going to get a rise out of me."

Oh, but I will, my dear, he thought. What? What the hell? This damn room is making me crazy. We have to get out of here... and soon. "Come. Let's read more of that rubbish. Perhaps then we will be able to leave this ruddy room."

"All right."

He scooted closer to her. "Accio parchment."

Yes, having her so near again was bringing back all those old feelings. He was uncertain if he could deal with that. The way she'd looked at him. Could it be possible? "No," he muttered aloud. He could not take another broken heart, especially by the same girl.

He wished that the bushy-haired-insufferable-know-it-all-witch had never spread her legs for him. Silky, milky thighs... He'd been biding his time, but he would seek vengeance on the twins for that lust potion. When he'd have a plan in place, something would happen and keep them from his wrath. It hit him all at once. He could bring his own lust potion to their wedding. The Weasley twins were marrying the Patil twins, as both witches were pregnant with twins themselves.

"Yes, that's what I'll do. We'll see how they like their new wives rutting about with guests." He nodded evilly as he made his plans. What were their names again? Right, Pavratty and Padme, they would definitely be mingling and acting out with the lust potion, for they'd done the same things whilst students. He'd happened upon them and dates many times in the corridors late at night.

"Pavratty? Padme?" Hermione said, giggling. "Oh, that's rich. The author could have at least spelled their names right!" She shook her head. "And having twins marry twins and then birthing twins... yuck. What confusion! I suppose they think it's clever."

"Pavratty suits her," Severus said with a nod. "She snuck about the castle at times like a little mouse just like this person is saying. However, all of her quietness didn't keep her from being found by this sly snake. I actually did happen upon her more than once." He smirked. "Gryffindor lost many House points because of her little trysts."

"What? With whom?"

"Different people," he said, shrugging nonchalantly. "And what's wrong with Padme's name? She was always quiet enough, never losing Ravenclaw points."

Hermione started laughing loudly. "They might as well add on the name Amidala behind it." At Severus' blank stare, she nudged him with her finger playfully. "Star Wars? Darth Vader's wife? Don't tell me you haven't ever read one of George Lucas's books! He's famous in both the Wizarding and Muggle worlds."

He realized at that moment that the girl's name was Padma, not Padme, and he felt ridiculous. "Simple mistake," he said. "It's not like I've read any of those books."

"Or seen the movies," she added.

"Indeed." He nodded to the parchments, hoping she'd stop smiling at him as if she knew something about him that he didn't want her to know. So maybe he had read some of the books. Only the earlier ones! his mind justified. Emperor Palpatine is a very interesting character. I still hold out hope that one day his clone will return and rule the galaxy. That little Potter brat... er... Luke brat was a right pest. If they'd have let the Empire rule, there would have been peace in the galaxy. He'd made the mistake of mentioning this to Filius once in discussion. The little bugger had accused him of thinking like a Death Eater and had even made a parallel of Death Eaters and storm troopers, Voldemort and Palpatine, and of course, Potter and young Skywalker.

Annoyed that his expression was obviously giving him away to Hermione, he pointed to the parchment again.

A knock on the door brought Severus out of his fantasies of revenge. He quickly answered the door and found the object of his old desires standing there: Hermione. She was like a beacon in the night, a bright star guiding wise men, a diamond in the rough, a white splotch on a black background, and many things that stood out boldly that he couldn't think of at the moment.

"Can I help you?" he asked silkily, enjoying the red color that coloured her cheeks.

"Did you see that?" Hermione asked. "Color and colour in the same sentence!"

Severus glared at her and made no comment. If anything, he would have pointed out the absurd descriptions the author used for her. However, it was best he not point that out, lest he find himself having to listen to her indignant whinging.

Ebony eyes met cinnamon eyes and locked in silent battle. Who would win? Who would lose? Who would be awake, and who would snooze? He would not ask again even though she was biting her lip enticingly and seemed to have lost her courage. If she was a real woman, then she would voice what she wanted.

"Yes..." he murmured, feeling his body heat. "Say it." Anything.

Severus frowned, stepped back from the doorway, and allowed her entrance. "I suppose," he grumbled, not bothering to hide his disappointment. She had purposely dressed in a satiny, silky, velvet, lacy sexy outfit and had used that sexy voice and gaze to make him think that she wanted something more... something sexual... something he could really sink his teeth into. Well, it's not like he couldn't sink his teeth in the sugar, mind, but something he wanted to sink his teeth into.

Slinking her way towards his couch, she sat down, legs open, shimmering skirt riding up and showing that she had no knickers on beneath. He could make out the thatch of soft, honey-colored...no, dark...hairs from his vantage point, yet he decided to move closer, hoping to catch a sniff of her scent with his super sensitive nose.

Hermione shook her head. "Can we not skip over some of this? I don't like reading this, especially not with them having me dressed this way. And I DON'T slink!"

"There is nothing wrong with slinking," he pointed out, "if it's done the right way... by the right woman."

"Prat," she grumbled. "They've got me as having cinnamon eyes. They are brown, thanks, and honey-colored hair? It's brown, too. I wonder if this person even knows me? I mean, of course, I don't always wear knickers, but that's only..." Her voice trailed away, and her cheeks heated in humiliation. "Er..."

"It's only a story," he said, trying to not repeat in his mind what she'd just confided about her knickers.

"Yes, but how would you feel if they had your legs sprawled open and someone leering at your... genitals, trying to sit near you to smell you." She frowned. "I should be offended! Are they trying to say that I smell? Legs open, knickers or not, you certainly shouldn't be able to discern any scent, especially sitting so far away."

Severus wished for a bottle of Ogden's. Why did he have to be stuck in a room with Hermione Granger, queen of incessant chattering? Better yet: Why couldn't she at least gripe about something he was interested in. He wanted to point out that some women, unfortunately...or fortunately, depending on the witch...do have a stronger scent that men can smell once disrobed. She shouldn't take it so personally.

"I'm being silly, I know, but you'd know how I feel if they'd be saying these things about you," she said softly. "It just makes me want to shower."

"You don't need a shower," he said, deciding to mock her. "I have an extra sensitive nose, as does the Snape in this story...obviously. I smell nothing that makes me think you need a washing."

"W-What?" Her eyes narrowed suspiciously as she gazed at his nose.

He enjoyed the way her mouth dropped open in shock. "Yes, some men can truly detect a woman's personal scent." He made a show of sniffing. "Why, do you spray jasmine or some other floral scent on yourself?"

Her mouth snapped shut, and her cheeks reddened as she moved away from him. "How could you know if it's not true?"

Bloody hell, he thought. She must truly use that scent either in her soap, shampoo, or oils. Did I notice it subconsciously? He reached a hand out to still her retreat. "Hermione, I was only joking. Really. I thought it would be funny to... taunt you, and I simply picked that scent out." He felt a bit smug about his good guess.

She smirked. "Yes, I know. I hate jasmine! I was also joking." She moved closer. "Shall we?"

Why that little... He ignored her and gazed at the parchment. He saw that the Snape in the story was pretending to drop things on the floor to bend down and get glimpses beneath her skirt. It was obvious to him that some schoolboy had something to do with this. He would never stoop to such theatrics. Even as he thought this, he wondered what he'd see if he dropped his teacup beneath the table and decided not to summon it to him, getting it on his own. Was this a day that she was sans knickers? He shook his head and tried to pay attention to the words on the parchment, but her words stopped him.

"What in the world?" She pointed out a sentence. "Look at these odd squiggly lines and this sudden bold print. It says, 'Author's Note inserted to say that I decided it was lemon time and wanted to put some in for everyone who has been begging for some. Hope you won't mind!' What do they mean by it being 'lemon time'?"

"Perhaps we're to have an intermission and drink a lemony beverage?" He sneered. "Why would a reader request this? Surely they can get up at any moment to seek a break."

"Or Dumbledore is going to force the characters to have some sherbet lemons! Normally I think of lemons and Dumbledore together, what with his obsession."

"Possibly," Snape agreed. "Oh... er... Well, I don't think that, ah, it was what they meant." He nodded to the parchment.

Snape's eyes narrowed dangerously suddenly. "How dare you come to my chambers dressed provocatively and ask for sugar. The only thing sweet you'll be getting is about ten inches of my dick."

"Oh, shite," Hermione said, bringing a hand to her mouth. Mortified, she added, "That's quite blunt."

"Well, at least they've measured it correctly."

She peered at him over her fingers, eyes wide with disbelief. "Really?"

He was about to ask her if she'd like to check for herself when he realized that they were dangerously close to flirting and getting completely too personal. It wouldn't do to let the room or the person responsible coerce them into anything. "I... That was uncalled for," he said lamely, ignoring the grin on her face.

As if in a trance, Hermione stood, pushed down her skirt to reveal her nakedness beneath, and slinked towards Snape in what was supposed to be a sexy strut; however, she looked more like a pissed fellow stumbling away from a pub.

"Meow," Hermione said before trying to purr like Crookshanks. She reached down and said, "Are you hear, Mr. Plonker?"

Severus' laughter was too great to keep reading. Of all the outrageous things to name one's penis! This person who wrote the story was a complete idiot. In fact, it had to be a woman writer. Every wizard knows that a name such as "Plonker" would never do. Something more male and certainly more reflecting upon the man's character would do.

"This is just unreal. I do hope that he doesn't plan on making any money as a writer," Hermione added, hint of a smile on her face.

"Pardon, I thought you said 'he' just now."

"Yes, I did. It's obvious that this is a male writer."

"Indeed?"

"Well, men always think of things like this. Nobody's clothes rip off that way! Pub talk? Cocks? Mr. Plonker and Miss Puss? Yes, definitely a man," she said firmly.

"And here I was beginning to think of it as a woman," he said, gazing at her intently. "I figured no male would stoop to naming his, ah, more private bits something like that."

"Well, plonker does fit in a way, as does puss," she conceded. "What would you like it to be named?"

"I think that something along the lines of..." His eyes narrowed. "How dare you try to learn what I... How dare you!" His voice was a low hiss.

"What are you on about?" she asked, furrowing her brow in confusion. "I didn't mean any harm by it." She sighed when he crossed his arms. "Good grief. Okay, just to prove that I wasn't trying to extract any information from you about your... er... genitals, I'll admit that I would never call my, ah, you know, Miss Puss."

He raised an eyebrow. "No?"

"Of course not."

"What do you call her then?"

"Well, I've never named it before." She blushed slightly. "But if I did, it wouldn't be something that sounds partially vulgar. Maybe Miss Kitty or something along those lines, but not Miss Puss."

Severus couldn't contain his laughter. He carried on even though she was glaring at him in anger and indignation. Finally his laughter faded, and he said, "Here, Kitty, Kitty."

"Oh, you... you wanker!" she said.

His laughter faded. "Now that was uncalled for, Hermione."

She turned away from him to face the wall. "Sorry."

He looked towards the door, pulled his wand, and tested the ward. "Still locked in. Hopefully, we can be out of here soon. I think it's driving us mad."

"You're the only one that's mental," she huffed.

"The Prince's sword," he blurted suddenly.

"Sorry?"

He looked down at his crotch pointedly. "The Prince's sword," he repeated. It was his turn to look away and feel the heat rise in his cheeks.

"Oh," she murmured. "Well, that's not so bad."

The moment he turned back to gauge her sincerity, she spoke again.

"Not too bad at all, Your Majesty." She broke into peals of laughter.

He simply sneered at her and returned to reading the parchment.

Hermione began reading and tsked. "Look at this. She's groping you and asking if you are 'hear.' Is she asking if it hears or if it's here? Either way, it's wrong! Maybe she means to ask 'do you hear' since he mentioned that it responds to sounds."

"That would make more sense," Severus agreed. "He's just been on about his bulging erection, so it shouldn't be hard to miss."

"True," Hermione said. "But this person has trouble with homonyms. Have you noticed? They've used crazy things: queue instead of cue, close instead of clothes, and now hear instead of here. I really don't like that."

"Nor I, but, unfortunately, that is quite common."

"You know," she said, realization alight on her face, "Ronald had problems with homonyms! I wonder if he's had something to do with this... Early on, it did seem like the author was flattering him."

"Weasley," Snape growled. "If he's behind this, I shall hex the red from his hair!"

"As will I," Hermione vowed.

Severus didn't doubt that she meant it either.

Both were standing in his sitting room naked and touching each other, enjoying the hot, wet, sex-scented bodies of each other when suddenly Severus sniffed and quickly wiped away a tear.

He stopped, realizing that she was right. Not letting himself slide out of her, keeping her body flush to his, he walked to the room, not missing any thrusts as he did so. Waving his hand at the bed, he called, "Rosebedikus."

Snape waved his hands, and their clothes and wands flew to them. As he took his wand, he pointed it to Hermione. "Cleancuntikus."

She felt a sweep of magic cleanse her most intimate being. She decided to return the favor. "Cleandickikus."

Paling, Severus turned to Hermione. How could he have forgotten that? She didn't appear too happy about it.

"Surely they don't mean Blaise Zabini? Feminine voice? He's got one of the deepest voices I've ever heard on someone my age... always has," Hermione said.

Severus was thoughtful for a moment. "Perhaps the author knows something that we don't know."

Hermione nodded. "Maybe." She pushed the parchment away. "I don't think it was Ron who wrote this."

"Oh?"

"Well, he's a bit thick about writing things for schoolwork or essays, but he's not like this. That's only because he doesn't actually take the time to try. He would at least use correct spells in writing this. I mean... what sort of spells are these? Rosebedikus?"

"Cleancuntikus?" he added, enjoying her blush and even more, enjoying her boldness as she replied.

"Cleandickikus."

Someone's stomach growled suddenly. Both began laughing.

"Are you hungry?" he asked quietly.

"I am, but I think I'll need the loo first. We've been at this for a while now."

He nodded. "I'll wait until you're done."

"Thanks."

He watched as she made her way to the doorway and never took his eyes from the womanly sway of her hips. Since when had she started walking in such a fashion? When he realized where his thoughts were taking him, he found himself wondering why he was so bent on fighting an attraction to her. He supposed it wouldn't be so bad to get to know her better. She'd proven herself capable of handling his comments, and she didn't probe too deeply, hoping that he'd spill all of his secrets or trying to invade his privacy. Perhaps he would consider a friendship... or something else if they continued to get along well enough.

The table before him transformed into a larger table; freshly cooked food, new scented candles, and bright flowers appeared. A harp appeared and began playing a mildly relaxing tune, setting a more romantic atmosphere.

"Interesting," he mumbled, wondering if the room had somehow tapped into his thoughts.

Southern's Notes: Sorry that it's taken so long for an update. My mom had to let someone go at her restaurant, and she's needed my help everyday. Work sucks. Then, my beta had a busy week and couldn't get to it right away. I still have a few more funnies to get through before the story is over, but it won't be much longer than a couple of chapters. If you have anything you'd like to see here, please let me know. I'll definitely find room for it. Cheers!