New Chapter for Handbook for the Recently Deceased
Handbook for the Recently Deceased
Clairvoyant85 Reviews | 6.79/10 (85 Ratings, 0 Likes, 5 Favorites )
Snape awakens in the Shrieking Shack to find his world upended. A story written for MoreThanMolly, the LJ community celebrating the awesomeness of überfangirls MollysSister and MoreThanSirius.
Start ReadingChapters (12)
About Clairvoyant
Author
Clairvoyant
Member Since 2007 | 12 Stories | Favorited by 42 | 585 Reviews Written | 281 Review Responses
I'm a fifty-year-old working mom and wife. I discovered HP fanfiction late in 2007 and fell in love. My favorite pairing is SS/HG, but I also enjoy stories featuring the triumvirate of Slytherin bad boys: Severus, Lucius and Draco!
Check it out! I have shiny banners!
Reviews for Handbook for the Recently Deceased
In the end, Severus Snape was killed by a fucking snake.That paragraph and the next had me laughing. Wonderful. Looking forward to reading it all!
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
Thanks,
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
. I live to make people chuckle, so I like to learn I'm doing my job. Just so you know, this is a completed story, and I'll post one chapter a week. Six down and six to go.
Help vouchers (only three for 99 years - the poor souls), case workers, work visas for the Carribean - does feel very 'earthy', doesn't it? Very funny. But the big fun only truly begins now, with H. in the picture ... ;)
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
So pleased you appreciate my weird sense of humor,
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
. I can take credit for the Caribbean work visas alone, and the rest belong to Beetlejuice. The action gets moving in the next chapter now that Hermione has arrived. Those are two very stubborn souls, and more than sparks will fly. Thanks for reading and reviewing!
"...why am I still here on earth?”“That's easy to answer. You have unfinished business.”Of course, our Severus' unfinished business is to be firmly woven with the his own personal Know-It-All... and her ever present Crookshanks. Can I just say that I love this story more with each update. I can't wait for the first time he works himself into a face full of juicy red boils, and Hermione takes matters into her own hands. Would I be too far off the mark if I thought Crookshanks can sense his presence even if Hermione can't–yet?What a lovely romp! Looking forward to the next chapter!Beth
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
What to do, what to do? Should Snape use his newly honed haunting skills to 'clean house?' Enlist the help of the insufferable Know-It-All in his quest to 'finish his business' so that he may live the afterlife in peace?As for their confrontations, Snape has the luxury of persistence -- he has the time and the desire to haunt and torment her, but how long will Hermione be tolerant of his shenanigans? And you're right, Crookshanks is one very observant and sensitive beast who knows much more than he lets on.Thanks for another great review, Beth!
Nooo. You can't stop now!
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
Have no fear,
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
! The next chapter will post on Thursday or thereabouts. Snape has no intention of giving up, you'll be happy to know. Thanks for taking the time to read and review.
Being a college professor and former librarian, I can't imagine a greater hell than a house with no books. At least Hermione comes with an extensive library and a love of books as well as a cat. This is a fantastic story, and I'm really looking forward to your next installment!
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
You got that right. Snape lost one library, but with his annoying new roommate comes a replacement one. I can't say what his response to the cat would be... yet. Thanks so much for the glowing review!
J'imagine la scène de la première rencontre ...effroyable !Bravo!
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
Now that Snape has consulted an expert, he's better equipped for effective haunting. He knows his enemy and is more than ready to start. The one variable he can't control is Hermione's reaction, and she's tougher than he can imagine. Que les jeux commencent! Merci pour vos commentaires,
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
.
He'll on earth, indeed, for Severus. Really enjoying this tale.
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
I can't think of anything worse for Snape than to be under house arrest with one third of the Golden Trio, and it's the most annoying one third at that! So glad you're liking the story,
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
! Thanks for reviewing and the pretty starts.
I feel for Severus, trying to haunt , but having no idea how to haunt. I'm sure he will find his feet as it were, with Hermione's help. I doubt if she will stay scared for long, she's a tough cookie.
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
Just like any new endeavor, you can't gain experience and proficiency until you try it. But his first do-it-yourself attempts were rather sad. With the help of his case worker, Snape may have a chance to successfully haunt Hermione. It all begins in the next chapter. Heh, heh, heh! *ebil cackle* Thanks for reviewing, mick! P.S.: How are you feeling?
Response from mick42 (Reviewer)
I'm doing well, it's strange seeing clearly for the first time in so many years, and the pain is almost gone now, so all is good in the hood , as my grandson says.
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
That's fabulous news, mick! Keep on healing!
Poor Severus, getting only a short respite. And such an inadequate handbook to boot!
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
I know! He can't catch a break even in death! And his one guide to the afterlife offers so little help. What's a ghost to do? Heh, heh, heh... Thanks for reviewing,
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
.
“Is there anything worth salvaging here?” Filius wondered.Minerva was quick to answer. “The books of course. I'll make arrangements with the contractor to move them to Hogwarts. He can decide if there's anything else of value to keep.”Of all the indignities our Severus has had to weather, I imagine the very idea of losing his library would be enough to spur him to great efforts to prevent this misplaced "urban development" program.The section that peaked my curiosity the greatest is the following: “Perhaps one day it will reveal some long forgotten minute detail that might be the difference between death and... well, not death. But for the time being, I must depend upon myself alone to provide satisfactory haunting.” I do believe keeping that book around may yet prove to be a very important decision.Thank you for this entertaining tale. I can't wait till next week!Beth
Response from Clairvoyant (Author of Handbook for the Recently Deceased)
If Snape must endure ninety-nine years of 'solitary' confinement in the Shrieking Shack, then the comfort of literature softens that blow. He has every right to be angry about the impending loss of his peace and quiet... and his books. His haunting should be all out war! The handbook still has some 'life' in it, especially in the next chapter. Thanks for the great review and pretty stars, Beth!