Home Is Where the Heart Is

Barely four days later, Hermione showed up at Spinner's End, seeking a respite from Ron's overbearing attitude.

Snape handed her a cup of tea and some chocolate biscuits, his expression neutral even though he was seething with the desire to go teach the stupid prat a lesson on how to treat Hermione right. He kept silent as she vented her frustrations.

When she reached the end of her rant, she heaved a sigh and peered sheepishly up at Snape, saying, "This is the part where Harry offers to go hex Ron for me. Should I worry what you might offer to do?"

Snape tossed his head and said, "I'll offer nothing of the sort. You're quite capable of taking care of yourself, and if you wanted that lummox hexed, you'd do it on your own. I know better than to usurp your agency."

Hermione tilted her head and smiled, taken aback by the compliment.

Snape added, "However, if you might be keen to revise undetectable poisons, I'm your man." Hermione burst out laughing and Snape smirked. Waggling his eyebrows, he said, sotto voce, "I know how to keep secrets."

Hermione's laughter faltered and she frowned. Snape's eyes widened at the abrupt shift in mood.

Pinning him with a probing gaze, Hermione said, "Speaking of secrets... I heard your digs at Harry. What is it you think he's keeping secret?"

Snape studied her for a long moment, then sighed, clearly making a decision. Leaning forward, both hands wrapped around his cup, he said, "Hermione, please don't be angry with me until you've heard me out."

Blinking rapidly, unnerved by his demeanour, she uttered a clipped, "All right."

Snape stared at her, his eyes weary, then cleared his throat. "I heard you and Harry talking. The day he called here from Durmstrang."

Hermione gasped and drew up straight in righteous indignation.

Snape held up a warning hand and said, "I know. I shouldn't have done it, but I was worried he was in over his head at Durmstrang and didn't want to disappoint me. You know how stubborn he can be."

Hermione deflated a bit and pursed her lips, conceding the point.

Snape's smile was wistful as he said, "I wished I had had a friend like you when I was your age, and I wanted to tell him I understand what he's going through. I just wish he wasn't so afraid for me to know."

At that, Hermione stared at him, confused. "What do you mean?"

Snape favoured her with an exasperated look. "I mean that Viktor and I, and Harry and I, for that matter, all have something in common."

Brows shooting skyward and eyes going round in surprise, Hermione said, "You're bisexual too?"

Snape drummed his fingers on the table and murmured, "Give the pretty lady a prize."

She was staring at him in fascination, like she had never seen him before.

Snape's lips twisted with a bitterness he hadn't felt since the war had ended and he rumbled, "Of course you wouldn't conceive of the possibility that I could be bisexual, because who would ever conceive of the possibility that the greasy git could be any kind of sexual at all?"

Hermione's mouth opened and she covered his hand in protest. "Severus, that's not fair! We've spent much longer with you as our teacher than as our friend. We try not to think about those sorts of things, especially with the power imbalance that comes with it."

Snape glared at his tea. "I thought I told you that I'm tired of being a teacher. I'm just me, just Severus. I'm just a man who has desires and needs, like anyone else."

Hermione sat in silence, digesting his revelations and reassessing her view of him. Finally, she said, "Then why don't you do something about it?"

Snape cast a black glare at her and said, "Like what? With my reputation and looks, who would want anything to do with me?"

At that, Hermione huffed and put on her sternest voice, saying, "Severus Snape, there is nothing wrong with either your reputation or your looks, do you hear me?"

Snape grimaced at her, but his eyes shone with gratitude.

Hermione smiled and said, "Besides, some people happen to like tall, dark, and mysterious, you know."

Snape rolled his eyes. "Of course, some people. Are 'some people' the same as the ubiquitous, elusive 'they' of 'they say'?"

Hermione snorted and leant forward, pinning him with a frank look. "I do. What do you think drew me to Viktor in the first place?"

That stunned Snape and he blinked at her, at a loss for words.

Grinning, she gripped his hand and squeezed. "There, you see? You can't bitch about it if you're not willing to do anything about it."

Snape looked at her hand on his and his gut twisted. Heart racing, he drawled, "Ah, but you're already taken."

Hermione gasped and blushed. "Very funny."

Snape swallowed and said, "And so is Harry."

Rendered completely speechless, Hermione just stared at him. Finally, after a long, awkward silence, Hermione said, "Thanks for the offer, but..." Snape started to retreat into himself "...I don't need to revise any poisons, I know all I need to know because I learned from the best."

Snape's eyes narrowed and he quirked a faint smile, taking the peace offering and patting her hand on his before rising and taking his teacup to the sink.

Hermione cleared her throat and said, "Well, I should probably get going. Ron's no doubt wondering where I went."

Snape leant against the counter and crossed his arms, watching her stand and smooth her clothing. She nodded at him and strode to the doorway, heading for the Floo. As she crossed the threshold, Snape said quietly, "Why do you stay with him?"

Hermione stopped, head dropping toward her chest, and said wearily, "Because I love him, Severus."

Snape huffed and said, "We fought to save the world for love. It was supposed to be better than this."

Hermione stiffened but didn't look back at him as she walked away, barely intoning, "See you later."

Snape heard her disappear into the Floo and spun to grip the edge of the counter in frustration. He flung the teacup into the sink and relished the crash as it shattered. Then, taking a deep breath, he cast Reparo and cleaned up before returning to the reading he had been immersed in before Hermione had shown up and thrown his world into turmoil.

*****

A week and a half later, Harry and Hermione joined Snape for their customary Sunday lunch. When Harry excused himself to go to the toilet, Snape whispered to Hermione, "Did you tell him I know?"

Hermione knew exactly what he meant and pinned him with a lofty glare. "I did not. Like I told him, it's not my news to tell. You're on your own."

Severus scowled and sat back, looking off into the middle distance in thought.

When it was time to leave, Snape said, "Harry, would you mind staying for a moment. I'd like to speak to you alone."

Harry blinked, taken aback, and looked at Hermione, who was staring at Snape with a knowing expression. "Uh, sure. You don't mind, do you, Hermione?"

"Not a bit. I'll see you at home. Good evening, Severus."

"Have a good night, Hermione. See you later."

Hermione Flooed away and Harry looked at Snape with clear apprehension. "So, is everything okay?"

Snape took a deep breath and settled his shoulders. "I have to tell you something. I should have told you a long time ago."

Harry's brows rose and he said, "You can tell me anything."

At that, Snape cut a sombre glance at him and said, "I hope you can forgive me..."

Harry interjected, saying earnestly, "Severus, I will always forgive you. Always."

Snape's lips clamped shut and he swallowed hard. Clearing his throat he continued, "I'm sorry. I eavesdropped on your conversation with Hermione when you called here from Durmstrang."

Harry went white, and his eyes widened. Incredulous, he stared at Snape and rasped, "You what?"

Snape ran a hand through his hair and rubbed the back of his neck, his head hanging forward. "I was concerned about your training and afraid you were having trouble that you wouldn't tell me about, so I listened. I shouldn't have done it. I should have respected your privacy. I'm sorry. But it doesn't change the fact that I know about you, Harry."

Snape looked up and saw panic mixed with the hurt and anger. He forged on, "And it doesn't change the fact that it makes no difference. It makes no difference to Hermione and it makes no difference to me. I wish you could have felt comfortable sharing that with me; I understand."

Voice shaky, Harry said, "Understand?"

Snape lifted his chin and Harry was fleetingly reminded of Viktor's expression of defiance. "I went through what you're going through, only I didn't have a Hermione to help me. I'm attracted to both men and women. Just like you. Just like Viktor."

Harry shoved his glasses to his forehead and scrubbed at his face. His voice was hoarse as he said, "You can't tell anyone. You can't. If Ron or Ginny find out..."

He snapped, "Then they would know you for who you truly are! How can they purport to care about you and love you if they don't really know you? And if they can't accept the real you, then they don't really love you. Not like Hermione and..." He stopped short, then recovered, saying, "Not like your real friends...we accept you no matter what, Harry."

Harry met Snape's fierce gaze and his panic ebbed. The sincerity permeated Snape's voice, his expression, his posture, and glowed in his eyes, along with something else that made the bottom drop out of Harry's stomach.

Nodding, Harry exhaled a trembling breath and said, "Thanks."

Snape ducked his head, his cheeks tinted pink, and rumbled, "Will you forgive me?"

Harry saw the tension in Snape's shoulders and heard the shame in his voice. His chest tightened and he whispered, "Of course. Always."

Snape jerked his gaze up to meet Harry's. Harry looked rather harrowed, but he smiled hesitantly at Snape in response to his muttered, "Thank you."

There was a long silence, both men lost in their own thoughts. Snape finally broke it, murmuring, "Are you really never going to tell Ginny?"

Harry frowned and shifted in his seat. "If you'd heard the things that have been said in that family..."

"Then why do you want to be a part of it? If they're so prejudiced and closed-minded, why are you still with her?"

Helplessly, Harry said, "Because I love her."

Snape shoved back from the table, startling Harry, and growled, "That's what Hermione said."

Lost, Harry said, "What did Hermione say?"

Snape whirled to face Harry, leaning against the counter and gripping the edge, knuckles white. "She stays with Ron even though he has no clue how to treat her properly, and you stay with Ginny even though that whole family disparages people like us. And you both say it's because you love them. If love is supposed to be so wonderful that it got us through the war, then why are you both so unhappy?" He spun again, hunched forward, away from Harry, as he muttered, "Why am I...?"

Completely unnerved by Snape's behaviour, Harry stood, stepping toward the other man. But Snape twitched and snarled over his shoulder, "Never mind. Forget I said anything. Just... go. I need to be alone." His laugh was bitter. "It's all I am anyway."

Tentatively, Harry said, "Severus..." but was stopped by Snape waving a hand at him and imperiously pointing at the door.

"Go, Harry." His hand dropped to grip the counter edge again. "Please."

Harry stepped backward, afraid to say anything else in the face of Snape's ire. He crossed to the door, moving faster the closer he got to the hearth, and Flooed home, leaving Snape in the charged silence of the kitchen.