Grasping

Thank you to karelia for her amazing betawork! Now, fasten your seatbelts. It gets a bit bumpy...

Hermione pushed the door open with a sigh. "Well, I survived my first day," she said, leaning against the wall and pulling her shoes off. Her Cushioning Charm had failed around three o'clock, and her hair follicles were screaming. She reached up and pulled the combs from her hair. "I suspect there's an outside chance that I might just end up bored to death long before you start to look crispy," she muttered as she hung her head upside-down and scratched at her scalp. She flipped her head back up and looked at him for the first time. "Oh, you're ready for bed already? It's only half-past five."

He was in his pajamas, sitting against his mound of pillows with his book flipped over on his lap.

"Are you not feeling well?" she asked with concern.

He blinked twice before he apparently remembered he could move his head and shook it. "I'm fine," he said softly as she sat down by his hip. "Just tired."

"And bored?"

He grimaced and nodded.

"That's no way to treat a book, you know. Ah, A Man for All Seasons. I thought you might like it. Had you read it before? Seen the play or the movie?"

He grabbed at the book as she reached for it, and she snatched it up and held it over her head. "Good heavens. I know you don't have any porn, so there's no reason to blush like a firsty."

He scowled, his face crimson, and snatched at the book again as she went to place a bookmark in it.

"What is wrong with you?" Looking down to where the bookmark had fluttered, she saw the answer. "Oh. Oh..."

Through the thin cotton of his pajamas, it was clear that Snape had been attempting to hide a rather impressive erection. His legs folded closer to his body with a snap as he grabbed the book and dropped it back in his lap. Apparently not feeling that was enough, he grabbed at the thin cotton sheet, gathering it into a wad over the offending member. He lifted his hands in frustration, dropped them halfway back to the bed, and then pitched forward and buried his flaming face in them.

Hermione's brain shot off in several directions at once, most of them highly inappropriate. In an effort to lighten the mood, she said, "I'd offer to give you a hand with that, but according to Ron, I'm not all that. You're probably better off taking care of it yourself. Do you need a moment?"

His head snapped up, and he gave her a thunderous scowl. "That's not funny," he hissed. He could now put a good amount of volume into his whisper when he was riled.

"Which part?" she quipped. "Look, Severus, you don't spend as much time in a tent with two hormonal boys as I did without getting used to certain male realities. Not that, I mean, I didn't...I was still a virgin until after..." She finally managed to shut up, but not until her own face burned hot. "Oh, god. Now I've managed to embarrass myself."

He closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Look," she said, still trying to salvage the situation, "at least all your nerves are working again, right? That's a good thing, yes?"

Severus flopped back onto the pillows. "Go away, Granger."

She sighed and heaved up off the bed. "All right. I've had a long day too. I'll see you in the morning."

She bent over to kiss the top of his head, but he hissed, "Don't!" She froze. "Stop... kissing me all the bloody time! It's not..." He turned his face to the wall, obviously mortified.

Everything snapped into focus, and she finally understood the whole picture. The blinking this morning, the charged look at lunch. How could she have been so stupid? Just a few days earlier, she'd been sure if he'd had an interest in her, she would know. She was right. He just hadn't had one then.

A thousand thoughts rushed through her mind all at once, creating so much white noise it was impossible to think at all. Instead of straightening up, she leaned down farther. She moved slowly, giving him all the time in the world to move away.

He didn't. His eyes widened, and he twitched his head toward hers, but then he went still. His eyes dropped down to her lips, and he let out the softest sigh just before she gave him a gentle kiss.

His lips were warm and dry and welcoming. She pulled away slightly, looking into his fathomless black eyes, only to shut them against the incredible need she saw there. She leaned in again, and his hands came up and gently embraced her shoulders, pulling her close and kissing her back.

He was trembling.

Hermione's head was still ringing with white noise as she sighed against his mouth, rubbing her nose against his larger one. She felt wild, out of control, slightly terrified, and wanted.

She brought her hands to either side of his face and kissed him again, and his fingers dug into her shoulders. He pulled her down and wrapped his arms around her, transporting the kiss to a level of instant frenzy.

She clutched at his face, slanting her mouth across his as he sucked gently at her lower lip. Enthralled by the sound of his heavy breathing, she unconsciously tried to match it with her own, making herself dizzy.

She twisted her hips and got one knee on the bed, lifting herself up on it as he crushed her breasts against his chest. Feeling the desperation in his taut muscles, she moaned an echo of his silent song. She slid down next to him on the bed, draping herself along his body.

He kissed her passionately as one of his hands slid down her back and cupped her arse. Her toes curled, and she let a quiet little moan escape. She shifted when he guided her on top of him, and together they somehow dislodged the book in his lap. It landed on the tile floor with a loud slap that startled both of them. They broke away and turned toward the sound, both panting from their exertions. When she looked back, she could see his desire already being eclipsed by remorse.

She leaned in to kiss him again, but he grabbed her shoulders and stopped her.

"Severus..."

"No. This is stupid. I-I..." He let out a long, shuddering sigh and pushed her away. "I'm a selfish bastard."

"Is that so bad?" she asked. "Not to put too fine a point on it, but you've not got that many more opportunities to be selfish. Or happy."

He shook his head. "It's wrong. It's too twisted. You're already hurting and I... This is a cruel insanity. You offered friendship, and I couldn't be content with that gift alone." He reached up and stroked a finger down her cheek. "You're so young. You deserve better than to be the object of obsession for a desperate man."

"But I..."

He pressed his fingers over her mouth. "No."

She pulled away and glared at him. "But you want me," she snapped.

"I want to live too, but that's not going to happen, is it? Go home, Granger. You will thank me when you're older."

"Piss off, Severus," she snapped back, grabbing her beaded bag off the table and shoving herself off the bed. "I'm supposed to be grateful that even lonely, desperate, and dying men reject me? Fuck you."

"Hermione..."

She waved her hand in the air and headed for the door, stopping to put her shoes back on. "I'll be back in the morning with your paper. You're due for some new books, as well."

She straightened up and pulled the door open, but his hand came over her shoulder and slammed it shut. She yelped. She hadn't heard him move.

He grabbed her elbow and spun her around, wrapping his arms around her. "I do want you," he whispered harshly. "Christ, I want you. No one has ever treated me with such kindness, nor come to mean so much in such a short span of time. Nevertheless, you must see that this is the height of foolishness. I'm twice your age, you were my student, and I'm fucking dying! Not someday..." He let go of her and swiftly unbuttoned his pajama top, pulling it aside and exposing his left pectoral muscle. It was roiling with black. "Soon. Anything between us doesn't make sense. If you weren't so fragile right now, you would see that. What kind of a man would I be if I shagged you and died, callously ignoring everything you've already lost?"

The white noise was still roaring in her ears, muddling her thoughts, and scrambling her emotions. ' He's so tall, she thought irrationally. I'd forgotten that. She reached out and ran her hand across his chest, feeling him quiver at her touch. "Do you really think your restraint will make your loss easier to bear?"

He grabbed her hand and stopped it. "It feels like folly," he replied. "No good ever came from my grasping for things I wanted. You're fragile right now. My desires are more than you were bargaining for."

She sighed and leaned against him. "You're right. Of course you're right. I'm just being needy again. This is stupid and illogical and the worst case of bad timing in the world. I just..." She shook her head, lost for words, and sagged. "I just wish I could have come to know you under different circumstances. I like you, Severus. I like you a lot."

He sighed and tightened his arms around her. "Hermione, there were no other circumstances," he whispered. "You must know that the only way I could have tolerated your presence long enough to discover who you really were would be if I was utterly incapable of getting away or telling you to go hang." She snorted through her nose and heard the breathy chuckle in his chest.

He pushed her back gently and looked down into her face. She had to turn her head to hear him over the sudden burst of noise out in the hallway. "Allow me to thank you, for everything you've done. For all the chatter, and the books, and the conversations and debates. Most of all, I thank you for showing me there's one person on this earth who cares if I pass on. I'd rather not soil all of that with pity sex." He kissed her forehead, and it felt like a benediction. "I do thank you for a rather splendid kiss."

She leaned in and gave him a quick, possessive kiss. "There's another one," she said. "Now I'm going to take my bruised ego home and feed it ice cream."

He smiled and leaned over to open the door for her gallantly. They both turned at the sound of running feet and slamming doors.

Hermione darted out into the hallway, grabbing Nurse Chisholme's sleeve. "What's going on?"

"We have to protect the patients!" she cried. "Help me seal their doors!"

"Protect them?" She snatched out her wand. "From what?"

"We don't know! I've heard that everyone on the sixth floor is dead and there are screams coming from the fifth. We need to lock all the patients in and seal the wards. There are Aurors swarming all over the place."

Hermione turned to lock Snape's door, but found him already behind her, stamping his feet into his boots and throwing his outer robe on over his pajamas. He grabbed her arm and leaned close. "What floor was Lucius on?" he rasped into her ear.

Her wide-eyed look of shock gave him all the answer he needed.

"Go back into my room and wait for me," he ordered. He took off up the hall, robes and shirt still hanging open, and hair swaying in time with the slashing flicks of his wand. He slammed doors closed and locked them as he passed.

"To hell with that," she muttered, taking off after him.

She darted through the doorway to the stairwell just as he turned to seal it. He saw her and let out a string of profanity that she couldn't hear above the chaos. She warded the door behind her, and he took off up the stairs.

When they reached the door to the fifth floor, they could hear nothing. The muted chaos on the floors below them dwindled to a taut silence beyond this door.

Severus looked through the thick glass window on the door and whispered, "Granger, go back."

"Not a chance."

He spun around and grabbed at her arm, fingers digging in painfully. "This is not a fucking game!" he hissed, his face morphing back into the terrifying teacher. "Go back!"

She swallowed and nodded, backing down several steps.

He turned and began dismantling the wards on the door. In a moment, he snatched it open and was through. It slammed closed and flared bright blue from the wards he threw up.

She backed farther down the stairs to the landing, clutching her wand and staring at the door.

Two minutes later, her resolve broke, and she rushed back up the stairs and peeked through the window. Severus was striding confidently down the hallway, robe billowing behind as he ignored the bodies. Aurors, Nurses and Healers were sprawled on the floor in varying degrees of dismemberment. The walls were full of scorch marks and burns. Only two doors were open, and there was blood splattered on the floor everywhere.

She saw an arm, still clutching a wand, lying at an impossible angle next to a head full of iron-grey braids. The rest of Healer Gayle's body was hidden behind a small cart.

Hermione shoved her hands over her mouth and swallowed thickly.

She felt paralyzed, unable to choose whether to dismantle Snape's wards and guard his back, or run screaming out into the streets like any sane person would. She stayed where she was and watched Snape stalk away from her.

She realized she was still clutching not just her wand, but also her beaded bag and quickly looped the straps around the stair rail. Wiping her sweaty palms on her wool skirt, she gripped her wand tight again and looked back up.

She screamed.

There, on the other side of the window, was a creature unlike any she had ever seen before. It had shriveled, black skin, stretched over a head more skull than face. Gravity pulled what was left of its platinum-blonde hair into a parody of a mohawk as it hung upside-down, grinning at her with perfect, white teeth. It stared at her with eyes that looked like putrid pools of burning lava. Drawing back its desiccated lips, it opened its jaws, revealing row after row of sharp, dagger-like teeth. Its mouth continued to open until the top of its head was lost to sight.

With no warning, it dropped off the ceiling and flew at her.

Hermione screeched just as it slammed against the door. Her piercing shriek echoed in the stairwell as Severus's wards exploded around the creature.

She heard the sound of a door banging open several flights below and footsteps pounding up the stairs. She didn't take her eyes off the flaring brightness of the wards as they sizzled and failed. The glass melted out of the window, and she threw herself backwards as a clawed hand reached through.

A carrion stench filled the stairwell, and she gagged as she threw nearly every spell she could think of at it to no effect.

Its jaws slammed shut with a clack, and its putrid eyes were visible again. It let out a scream that made her blood freeze in her veins.

Bloody talons clawed at the door, leaving deep gouges as it was pulled backwards by an unseen force. Hermione aimed again and took its eyes out with two fast, slicing hexes, and it roared in anger.

Footsteps rounded the turn on the landing, and she held her free hand out to stop them, not taking her eyes off the beast.

As it slipped farther away from the door, she could see Severus behind it holding his wand arm out with the other up in an elegant dueling stance. He was bathed in a pulsing red light that fluttered his robe and made his hair dance around his head. The light slipped just beyond the visible spectrum in time to an unseen heartbeat.

The creature was drawn backwards against its will, shrieking its anger and gouging the floor with arms that only vaguely looked human. At one point, it broke the spell's hold and scuttled straight up the wall, but Severus's enchantment caught it again and drew it back in. It landed on the floor with a sickening splat and began to keen. It looked back at Severus and snarled but conceded defeat by turning and going to him of its own volition.

Severus's mouth never stopped moving, but Hermione couldn't hear his words. He kept his wand pointed at the creature, but his spell left his wand-tip and flowed back on him, feeding the pulsing aura around him. The creature snarled and whined and then rose to its full height and bellowed at him.

Snape never flinched. He just kept up his stream of words until the monster settled down on its haunches, as docile as a pet hound.

Severus lowered his wand and spoke to it. It shook its head like a horse but then bowed down and touched its face to the floor by Severus's feet. Then it sat back, evidently waiting for an order.

Hermione couldn't hear him, but she could read his lips, as Snape spat a final curse and bathed the monster in green light.

It fell to the floor, dead.

"What the hell is that?"

Hermione turned to see Kingsley Shacklebolt and Arthur Weasley, along with two other Aurors, crowded up behind her.

"I have no idea," Hermione rasped. "I've never even read about such a thing."

"Is the danger past, Snape?" the Minister called.

He nodded and then aimed his wand at the monster and incinerated it.

Kingsley vanished what was left of the door and stepped through, followed by the Aurors.

Arthur placed his hand on Hermione's shoulder. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

"I'm fine. I think. I don't know."

He squeezed her and stepped through the melted doorway. Hermione followed close on his heels.

"Gareth, head downstairs and tell them it's over," Kingsley ordered. "Farris, start searching for survivors on this floor. Arthur, could you go with him?"

Severus looked lost and overwhelmed, standing there with his wand still drawn staring down at the smoldering pile of ash on the floor. Hermione slipped up next to him, carefully stepping around, to button up his robe.

"Snape, I'm going to need you to come down to the Ministry and answer a few questions."

"He can't," Hermione blurted. "He's a patient here." She gestured at the carnage around them. "When you finish here, you can find him in his room. He's on the fourth floor, room 423. I need to take him back and make sure he's all right."

"All right," Kingsley said. "I'll be there in a little while."

Hermione tugged on Severus's sleeve, and he followed her docilely toward the door. Once in the stairwell, she snatched her bag off the rail and grabbed his hand. She practically dragged him down the three flights and back to his room on the second floor. She banged the door shut behind them and started stuffing all of his things into her beaded bag.

Snape looked at her, obviously lost in his own horrific thoughts.

"Come on," she said, pulling the bag shut.

He didn't move, just stared at her in a daze. She grabbed his hand again and headed down to the lobby and straight out the door with him following silently behind her.

Once they reached the alley, she threw her arms around him and Disapparated.

He clutched at her as they spun away.