Dr. Dolittle, Where Are You When We Need You?

Nevermore by Pearle

Summary: The war is long over and life has settled into a comfortable routine. Harry and his team of specialists have been charged with tracking down and dismantling Dark objects. While not part of the team, Harry has had occasion to call on his best friend's husband to help them. What started out as routine turned out to be anything but. One question remained: how was he going to explain to Hermione her husband had been turned into a bird?

A response to SouthernWitch69's chapter challenge. Challenge rules follow chapter one.

Disclaimer: The characters, settings, etc., of the Harry Potter series are not mine; they belong to J.K. Rowling and Co. I promise to return them when I am through. Well, most of them anyway.

~~~ Nevermore ~~~

Chapter 2 – Dr. Dolittle, Where Are You When We Need You?

Tonks, Bill, and Thomas arrived together at the Apparition point, followed within minutes by Harry and the raven. He nodded silently to the group as they made their way to the main entrance. The castle seemed deserted as the odd group headed down to the dungeons, encountering no one on the way.

They knocked before a tapestry depicting a snake entwined around a cauldron, revealing the entrance to Snape's chambers. A smiling Hermione let the group in.

"Harry, it's good to see you, but what are you doing here?" Hermione looked over the group. "Where's Severus? Didn't he meet you?"

The raven lifted off his shoulder and headed for the bookcases. Harry nodded to Bill and Thomas to follow him before turning back to Hermione. "You might want to sit down."

"Harry, why is there a raven pulling books out of my bookcases? Where is Severus?" Hermione watched as the raven hooked several books with his beak, pulling each in succession off the shelves. Bill and Thomas picked up the heavy tomes as they fell to the floor.

"Hermione, the raven is Snape."

"Pardon me?" Hermione looked at him as if he had just grown another head. "What are you talking about?"

Harry gestured to the raven now hopping back and forth between Bill and Thomas on the desk in the corner. The books the raven had chosen were open before the wizards, each trying to figure out why the bird had chosen those particular volumes. He sighed heavily. "Something went wrong with the mirror we were inspecting. It turned Snape into a raven"

"You're telling me that bird is my husband?"

Tonks patted Hermione's shoulder awkwardly. "Was a raven Severus's Animagus form?"

Harry straightened up at Tonk's question. Animagus... of course. As far as he knew, Snape was not an Animagus, but maybe the mirror forced him to transform, anyway. "Good thinking, Tonks. Hermione?"

"Severus wasn't an Animagus."

"That's okay, maybe the mirror forced some sort of transformation. Tonks, go find Professor McGonagall. She might be able to tell us more about how to transform him back."

"Gotcha, Harry." Tonks took off at a run for the Headmistress's office.

Hermione trailed quietly behind Harry as he walked over to the group in the corner. "Any luck?"

Bill shook his head. "This book on potions listed antidotes to some of the faster-acting poisons, but it really has nothing to do with transforming into an animal."

Harry nodded. "Thomas? Anything?"

"I'm not sure. This most definitely lists some pretty Dark Magic. I'm just not sure if it applies or not"

"All right, just keep trying."

Hermione peered into the raven's black eyes. "Severus?" The bird regarded the witch for a minute before bobbing its head.

"Oh, my God!"

Three sets of eyes met over her head. "Uhm, Hermione, why don't we let them get on with their work? I'm hoping we can come up with an answer soon and change him back." Harry guided the shocked witch to the sofa. He called through the Floo Network to the kitchens and asked tea to be sent down to them. As an afterthought, he asked the elves to add some chocolate biscuits, as well.

"My husband is a bird." Hermione sat on the edge of the sofa, one hand clutching the arm for dear life as she tried to make sense of the situation. Hysterical laughter bubbled up. "You always said he was the bat of the dungeon. I guess he proved you wrong there, Harry." Absentmindedly, she accepted the tea and plate of biscuits Harry handed her. "I never got a chance to tell him...Oh, my God. Harry, he can't be a bird. I never got to tell him I'm pregnant!"

Hermione rushed back to the desk. "Severus, you change back this minute. No child of mine is going to have a raven for a father. D'you hear me? I'm pregnant. Stop this foolishness and change back."

Bill gently led Hermione back to the sofa. "Hermione, I don't think he can just change back. I'm pretty sure he wouldn't've stayed a raven all this time if he knew how to change back."

Hermione nodded in agreement. Her husband was a raven.

"Hermione?" Minerva surveyed the young woman she had come to think of as her daughter. "Hermione, are you all right, dear?" When Hermione had failed to answer her knock, Minerva had exercised her Headmistress privileges and lowered the wards. The sight of the young witch's tear-streaked face unnerved the stoic woman.

"Minerva, he's a bird. A bloody bird."

"Uh, Tonks, could you sit with Hermione? Minerva, over here." Harry waved at the Headmistress.

Minerva patted the witch's shoulder and joined the group gathered around the desk. Tonks had explained the unusual situation to her on the way to the Snapes's chambers. She raised one well-manicured brow as she eyed the raven. "Severus? Is that you?"

The raven cawed loudly, before bobbing its head.

"Harry, I think maybe one of these three books might hold the answer." Bill closed the books, showing Minerva the titles of the thick tomes: Advanced Rune Translation, The Dark Arts Outsmarted, and Unleash the Animal In You.

"Where did you get those, Mr Weasley?"

"Snape pointed them out to us, along with these other books, but they don't seem to have any information we can use. Maybe you can find something." Bill looked toward the sofa. Tonks was sitting on the floor talking quietly to Hermione. The young witch was curled up, fresh tears shining on her face. He sincerely hoped they would be able to change Snape back tonight, for Hermione's sake, if nothing else.

"Severus pointed them out?" Minerva didn't bother to hide the scepticism in her voice.

Thomas nodded. "He pulled them out of the bookcases with his beak. Pretty smart, huh?"

Minerva stood stiffly. "Of course, he was probably the most brilliant student Hogwarts has ever seen. Why should that change now? Exactly what happened, Mr Potter? Leave no detail out." Minerva conjured a chair for herself and settled in to hear the details.

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"...and then the others showed up." Harry had started from the beginning, when his department had been first notified of the mirror, answering Minerva's questions as he went. "We're kinda of the theory that the mirror forced a transformation, even if he isn't an Animagus."

"And where is this mirror now? Did you copy the runes along the frame?"

'No, we didn't. I guess I wasn't thinking too clearly. I was more concerned with what I was going to tell Hermione. The mirror is still in the basement at Malfoy Manor. I'll go and copy the runes. I want to lock down the room, anyway. I'd rather not have to deal with any more transformations tonight." Harry stood to go.

"Harry? You're leaving?"

Hermione's soft voice cut him to the quick. While he might not like the git, he felt for Hermione. "I'll be right back. I need to lock down the mirror."

Her tearful nod broke his heart and strengthened his resolve to return Snape to human form as quickly as possible.

TBC

Chamber of Secrets

"Of course, he was probably the most brilliant student Hogwarts has ever seen."

A/N: For more information on runes and a translator that will translate your name into runic symbols go to http://www.sunnyway.com/runes/.

Unleash the Animal In You is a title of my own creation. For anyone interested, I will be signing copies of the aforementioned book at Flourish and Botts on the 30th of this month.

From The HP Lexicon-

Advanced Rune Translation - Hermione was reading a copy of this after her pre-sixth-year trip to Diagon Alley; presumably it is one of the N.E.W.T.-level Ancient Runes textbooks, but this is not stated explicitly.

The Dark Arts Outsmarted - The Room of Requirement contained a copy of this book during the DA's first meeting there.

A grateful thank you to my beta, Nakhash, for her corrections, suggestions, and never-ending supply of commas, she is truly the best of the best. Another set of eyes is always helpful, the mistakes, however, are still mine.

Let me know what you think. I love hearing from you! As always, thoughts, comments, reviews, whatever are most welcome.

Pearle