Eleven

Thanks to fizzabella for beta reading this!

After Snape had left, Hermione had looked at her parchment again to learn more about her other two matches. One was none other than Rufus Fudge, the old Minister's nephew, who worked in the Improper Use of Magic Office. The man was older than she, quite intelligent to be sure, but she didn't think she could ever find herself attracted to him. Would he be someone with whom she could explain her situation to and come to some sort of agreement? She hadn't interacted with him much in the past, but he seemed to keep to himself mostly. She supposed she could meet with him at least. Maybe after she talked to him, he might be more appealing to her.

The other name on her list was someone unfamiliar to her: Artemius Lawson. It would be easy to find information on him if she so chose. She was a Ministry employee after all. Her mind, however, wandered back to Snape. If he'd been truthful with his answers, would he still have shown up as one of her matches? She rolled her eyes at the direction her thoughts had gone.

He'd already admitted that she wouldn't be someone whom he'd pick. Of course he wouldn't have been on her list. It had been refreshing to talk to someone objective about the goings on in her life. Not that she didn't appreciate Ginny and Harry lending an ear, but Snape had no stake in what her decision would be. He'd made her feel a little better about her decision at one point when he'd agreed that wanting to get ahead in her career first wasn't something terrible. However, he'd ended up being quite blunt near the end, but at least she knew it wasn't because he was biased in Ron's favor. He was simply trying to see the other side of the coin.

She couldn't think about it any more today and decided it was time to go home and have a soak in her tub...after she stopped off at her mate's office to see if there was any information on this Lawson bloke. Hermione then wondered if Fudge had received his list of matches as well. She hoped that she wouldn't run into him just yet. She wasn't ready for it or the discussion it would entail. However, luck, it seemed was not on her side.

Rufus Fudge sat across from Hermione and looked everywhere but in her eyes. "It was fortuitous that we met today. I'd just received the owl," he said.

"Yes, it was indeed." She wished he'd at least look at her. Was it possible that the man was truly this shy? "Thank you for the invite for drinks to talk about this." She felt anything but grateful. She'd just left John's office with information about Lawson when Fudge had nearly knocked her over as he hurried toward the atrium. He'd reddened drastically upon realizing whom he'd bowled over and had promptly asked her for drinks to discuss the match letter. She'd agreed and hadn't seen a single thing yet that would make her consider him as a match.

His dark hair curled madly under his hat, which was lime green like the one his uncle wore, and his brown eyes reminded her of Ginny's. They were big and bright and beautifully shaped, which looked strange on a bloke's face if she were honest. Rufus was also on the heavy side, not that she minded much. Who was she to complain when she'd gained a stone in the last year?

"So..." she began, "what would you like to talk about?"

"I don't think we'll work," he blurted.

Her eyes widened in surprise. "Oh... all right."

"N-no offense to you, but I need someone," his eyes met hers finally, "less assertive and less prone to chattering."

"I see," she said, completely insulted.

"You're great," he said, "and beautiful, but I just need someone a bit more..."

"You, sir, are looking for a mouse, not a wife." She rose from the table. "No hard feelings, all right?"

"None. Thank you," he said. "And I don't want a mouse." His voice had taken on a surprisingly firm tone. "I just want someone who won't try to use my gentle nature against me, someone who will compromise and take guidance."

Hermione's mouth opened, ready to form an indignant reply, but instead, she turned and fled the Leaky Cauldron, wanting to distance herself from the man who'd just offended her more than anyone had in years. Was it true? How could someone who didn't know her pull that observation out of thin air? Is that how Ron felt? That she tried to contradict him? Make him conform to her ways? That she wouldn't compromise?

The man's words had stung. She'd now been rejected by two men on her list: first Snape and now Fudge. Nothing Snape had said had hurt her this much. She supposed it was because she would expect nothing less from Snape, but this... "Is this how the world sees me?" she wondered. Perhaps she would do well to forgo the idea of finding a match. Why should she try to force herself on anyone else? She remembered the papers in her pocket. If Lawson didn't seem appealing, she'd not ask to have her questionnaire sent through again. She wasn't sure how much more rejection she could take.

"At least the lump said I'm beautiful," she said, the compliment only slightly softening the blow of his other words.

Instead of tapping the bricks to head into Diagon Alley, Hermione Disapparated, deciding to go home instead. The instant she appeared in her living room, Shorty bustled into the room.

"Mistress is having a hot bath the way she likes it. Mistress is having wine waiting for her. Shorty is fixing her a meal."

"I... Shorty," she said, taking on a chastising tone, "have you been spying on me again?"

"Spying? Shorty isn't spying. Shorty is knowing what his mistress needs."

She grinned. "Well, thanks." Sometimes she appreciated the little house-elf more than she'd ever thought possible. It was almost like having her mum back and taking care of her. Almost.

"I expect Harry's right. I need to make another trip to Australia."

Hermione rid herself of all thought while she shed her clothing and stepped into the hot, soothing, bubbly water waiting for her. After soaking a while, she reached for the wineglass and then drank its chilled liquor, smacking her lips. "Mmmm."

Her eyes fell to her clothing on the floor, and she noticed the corner of a paper sticking out from its pocket. "Right! Lawson." She flicked her wand. "Accio parchment."

"Let's see what John copied for me."

Artemius Lawson hails from a long line of purebloods from Surrey who own a private estate on the outskirts of Haslemere. He reached the age of thirty-six on 10 March this year.

Her eyes drifted to the man's picture at the bottom of the page. He had an arrogant expression and seemed put out that someone had taken a photo of him. His hair was a deep brown, but his eyes were quite black, much like Professor Snape's. The left side of this face had bad scarring, as if he'd been burned badly.

Lawson often writes to the Wizengamot and any paper that will publish his letters to put forth his views on trolls and other magical creatures. He feels that they are too large and dangerous to be left roaming about. His famous quote after the battle of Hogwarts back in 1998 when a few trolls mingled into the fray under Lord Thingy's direction was "The beasts weigh a bloody ton and have a brain the size of a bogey. See what happens when you leave them on their own? They take up with the first Dark Wizard that comes their way and offers them something shiny. Lock the bastards up and toss away the key!"

Hermione partially agreed with him, having had a bad experience with the troll back at Hogwarts in her first year. Lots of magical creatures would never be able to integrate into society. Giants were another example. Grawp had made some improvements, but she wasn't certain he'd ever be able to live on his own without Hagrid's direction. To hear Hagrid tell it, giants could never be trusted completely. His own mum had taken off and abandoned him. They turned on each other at the drop of a hat as well.

However, back to the man at hand, she didn't like his tone. Just because trolls were dumb, she didn't believe they should be locked away. What she believed was that some sort of sanctuary could be built for them to live in peacefully. They shouldn't be exploited for their size either. She gazed back at Lawson's picture and decided she liked the man even less. What would he think about house-elves? He probably had a house full of the poor creatures.

"Hope he treats them well at least," she said quietly. Why would the matchmakers have seen fit to put him as one of her matches? Puzzled, she thought about her answers. His physical description fit what she'd requested, as did his age, but she'd definitely written that she believed in the betterment of lesser magical creatures. Maybe her interests had been misunderstood somehow. Had the matchmakers considered his views to be a way to better the lives of the trolls? She certainly hoped not.

Going on to finish reading about Lawson, she decided that if he should try to contact her for a meeting, she would politely let him know that she was no longer looking for a spouse and would wish him luck in finding someone. The sod was probably looking for someone to join his crusade. She was sure, though, that they would likely be on opposite sides of many issues.

"So three down. How the bloody hell did Neville and Ron find matches so damn easily?" She smirked at her swearing. It wasn't often she did so, but she felt justified in its usage now. "And Snape's gone through this at least three times already. Rotten luck."

After eating Shorty's delicious meal, Hermione sat in front of her computer screen and went to her homepage to do some searching through her Wizarding Internet Service Provider, which the Wizarding world at large affectionately called WISP. As before, she typed in endometriosis and pregnancy, but this time she added forum. She wanted to see what others had to say about their experiences with it. Several links popped up through the search page, and she clicked on the first one.

AnnoyedMomToBe...Ten minutes ago

Today I started having some cramping, and I'm scared shitless that it might be a miscarriage coming on. My Healers told me it was possible to have an ectopic pregnancy because of where my endometriosis is placed. Anyone else have cramps at only a few weeks pregnant?

HatezHealers...Thirteen minutes ago

As I told you in a previous post, WannaBeMom, you should try other ways to conceive and not rely on Healers so much! I couldn't conceive until I had sex under a full moon on the twentieth day of my cycle!

WannaBeMom...Nineteen minutes ago

Um, yeah, well, my Healer said otherwise, and he's educated, so I'm going to stick to that.

WannaBeMom...Twenty minutes ago

This is @ BigJohnsonsWitch: so if you don't have sex all month and wait till you ovulate, that's the best chance? I'm just making sure. You are a Healer's assistant, right? That sounds like what mine says.

HatezHealers...Twenty-two minutes ago

Just because the Healer said so doesn't mean it's true! They just want your Galleons!

WTF...Twenty-seven minutes ago

Uh, scared and confused, you're kidding right? Of course you're doing the right thing. Think of all the times you tried and nothing happened. It was Fate that this happened right now. Your ex just wasn't the right one for you; nor was it the right time!

ScaredAndConfused...Twenty-nine minutes ago

I was diagnosed with endo about four years ago right after I got married. I'd been suffering from pain during my period for a long time, but when we started having sex, and I noticed the pain then, too, I knew it was time to see a Healer. They told me I had Stage 2 when they went in to check me, and they said I would probably never get pregnant. My hubby and I tried for a whole year after that and nothing happened. I finally consented to having a surgery for it to ease the pain, and they were able to not mess with my ovaries or anything. They started me on fertility treatments, and after six months, my hubby and I called it quits. It just took too much effort on our parts, and we both resented each other. Every month was a big disappointment. I've since then dated two other men and had unprotected sex with both of them. Nothing ever happened until three months ago.

We aren't very serious about each other, meaning we aren't anywhere near getting married, so I feel strange about bringing this baby into the world as a single mother. I mean, sure, he'll help out, but it's not like he'll be here every day with me. I'm scared and confused. Am I doing the right thing by going through with this? The Healers said that I'd never get pregnant, and they made me go through all that rubbish. Now I've done it on my own when I least expected it!

Hermione stopped reading. Was she going about this all wrong? If she worried about it, it wouldn't happen. It was something her Mum had always said as well. A watched pot never boiled. Maybe a watched egg never got fertilized. Would she and Ron have ended up hating each other like this woman and her husband? If so, she was glad that they'd parted before the bitterness and resentment had built up. Hopefully after time had passed, they could be friends. Having Ron in her life in some capacity was better than not having him at all.

KeepOnSmiling...Thirty-two minutes ago

I just want to tell you guys that you shouldn't give up! I tried and tried and tried to get pregnant and thought it would never happen. Then one day it did! I now have a beautiful five-year-old daughter. I've never been able to conceive again, but my endometriosis took a break while I was pregnant, and the pain has lessened considerably since her birth! I'll never give up hope for another. You guys shouldn't either!

WTF...Thirty-eight minutes ago

Get the laparoscopy. It's the only way to know for sure if it's endo or not and how severe it is.

CuriousAnn...Forty minutes ago

Does a laparoscopy hurt? My Healer wants me to have one, but I refused. It sounds complicated.

Sighing, Hermione clicked to leave the screen. Some of these made her feel that pregnancy was possible, but then others made her wonder if she wasn't getting her hopes up again. Was it truly something left up to Fate? What if she and Ron hadn't conceived because they weren't meant to be? She remembered her mother talking about unanswered prayers once. She'd heard a song by some American singer titled the same, and she'd said that it reminded her of how she'd felt about the man she'd dated before Hermione's father. Jane had cried when he'd left her, and she'd prayed to God to let him come back to her, which he hadn't. Then she'd met John Granger. She said she'd realized that God had had a plan for her, and that was for Hermione to be born. Sometimes unanswered prayers happened for a reason.

With that thought in mind, she opened up her email page to see what she'd received. Happily, and coincidentally, she noticed something from her mother. Immediately, she clicked on it. To her disappointment, it wasn't anything personal, just what Muggles called a forward, which contained some odd joke or nonsense. But at least her mother had thought to send it to her. Clicking on reply, Hermione decided it was time to tell her mother what was happening, and hopefully, she would get some good advice in return. She hadn't missed her mum more than she did in that moment the entire time they'd been gone.