Seven

Thanks go to Fizzabella for the beta read!

Hermione lay back on the examining table, wishing the Healer would return with her test results. She stared at the peach ceiling and its large rectangular, floating lights while wondering what the Healer had found. The woman's demeanor had been professional, but Hermione had sensed that she'd detected something while examining her. Having changed Healers within the past year, she'd yet to have a gynecological visit with this Healer before.

The door opened, and Hermione sat up, pulling the thin gown down her thighs after realizing it had crept up while lying down. "Healer Scott," she greeted, trying to smile at the light-haired witch.

"Please, Hermione, call me Veronica."

"Habit," Hermione said. "Now, what's going on?"

"Straight to the point then," Veronica said kindly, placing the large envelope she held on the table next to the chair she'd sat in.

"You were gone for a while, and I could tell that something... something wasn't right."

"While we were talking and you explained what you'd been feeling, I had my suspicions. After examining you, I was quite certain, but I wanted to be sure to have the results before telling you my thoughts."

"Which are...?"

As Veronica pulled a light parchment from the envelope on the table, she said, "The diagnostic laparoscopy spell that I cast for the biopsy shows that you do have endometriosis."

Hermione opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. Endometriosis? She'd heard about that at some point in the past, but she'd never researched it further. She'd been prepared for the Healer to come back and say she had something else...anything else. Not that.

"From what I can tell, you are only at an early stage."

"But the pain is so severe sometimes. Are you certain?" Hermione asked, thinking of her menstrual cramps.

"Some women have minimal pain in the worst stages of endometriosis. Others, like you, have more pain even in an early stage. Hormonal stimulation in some cases causes the pain. I've got some pamphlets for you, and they should answer all your questions, even those you may not have yet." She smiled. "Here."

Veronica handed Hermione several papers that she'd taken from the envelope and remained silent while Hermione looked them over briefly.

Hermione said, "So it's basically tissue that's that causing all this trouble."

"Endometrial lining from your uterus that attaches in the wrong place, unable to shed during your flow."

"It says here that it thrives with estrogen?"

"It is an estrogen-dependant disease, yes, but it's still unknown exactly what causes it. There are several theories, one of them retrograde menstruation, which I am uncertain about. I do have colleagues here in London who are heading a study that might prove it to be hereditary. Sadly, there's no cure, just treatments." She nodded at the pamphlet Hermione held in her hands. "That one goes over the options available to us."

Hermione snorted. "A few days ago I thought I might be pregnant. My period was a couple of days late."

"May I ask again if your intercourse is painful? You seemed ill at ease when I asked earlier and changed the subject."

"No, it isn't. As I told you before, the only time I hurt is during my period. I thought it to be normal. My boyfriend, well, ex-boyfriend now, he told me I should get it checked. I mean, in my defense, what woman doesn't sometimes deal with this?" Hermione blushed. "I only made this appointment because I thought I needed pregnancy confirmation. We had unprotected sex a couple of weeks ago around the time that I ovulated, according to a book that I bought last week." She shrugged. "I counted the days."

"Did you want to become pregnant?" Veronica asked.

"I... I've been quite adamant about wanting to wait to start a family. It's something we disagree on, but when I realized I'd not taken my potion, I foolishly thought I'd leave it to Fate. Then, the more I thought about it..."

"The more you wanted it?"

"I don't know if wanted is the right word, but if I would have been pregnant, everything would have been back to normal. Ron and I would have got back together, he would have got what he wanted, and I'm sure I would have adjusted."

"It sounds like you're just afraid of being alone and grasping for an excuse to not have to change your life." Veronica reached out and took Hermione's hand. "Becoming a parent, as you know, obviously, is a big responsibility and should be done for the right reasons. Perhaps it just wasn't meant to be."

"I agree," Hermione replied, squeezing the woman's hand, "but when my period started after I'd made the appointment to come here, I felt so disappointed, so let down."

"Which could be attributed to the melancholy we experience during this stage of our cycle. I think, however, you should truly examine your feelings. Maybe you want something that you weren't aware of. Is it possible that you've been adamant about not starting a family because it was something you'd always planned...building a career I assume...and you feel that if you betray that, you'll be betraying yourself?"

"Perhaps." Hermione looked back down at the pamphlets again and noticed one titled Endometriosis and Pregnancy. She opened it and skimmed over the first page. She gasped. "This causes infertility?"

"Many women who experience infertility happen to have endometriosis. There are proactive treatments that can help increase the chances of becoming pregnant."

Hermione suddenly felt the urge to cry. Was this punishment? She'd finally started to toy with the idea of becoming a mother, of truly being what Ron wanted, and then in a cruel twist of Fate, she'd been told that it might never happen!

"Hermione," Veronica said softly, "from what I understand, you've only had unprotected sex this one time. You do not know if you are having conception trouble. It's not a guaranteed act."

"But the book I read specifically said that sperm can live between three to five days, so why wouldn't my egg have been fertilized? Ron and I are both young and healthy. The window of opportunity was perfect for it."

"Nothing is set in stone. There are several factors that can play a part in it. If you should decide to become pregnant, I will help you in any way that I can if becomes apparent that infertility is an issue." Veronica flashed her white teeth and chuckled. "And if you do become pregnant, it normally lessens the symptoms of endometriosis. Whatever route you take, I'll be here for you."

"Thank you, Healer Scott, er, Veronica. I appreciate the support you are giving me. I have a lot to think about." She lifted the pamphlets. "Lots to read as well." She was already planning to stop by Flourish and Blotts on the way home to see what books they had on the subject.

"I'm going to prescribe a potion that specifically targets this type of pain. It is much more effective than normal pain potions or Muggle medicine you might buy. You can get that from my assistant on your way out."

"Good. Normally I have to take so much, it knocks me out."

"Oh, no, this works great. You'll be able to go about your daily business as normal, at least for the time being. If the pain or symptoms get worse, we'll consider other actions. All right?"

"I expect I can get dressed now," Hermione said, taking the prescription from her Healer. "It's a bit drafty in here."

"Of course! I'll just give you some privacy." Veronica stood, her brown eyes meeting Hermione's. "I look forward to hearing from you."

"I'll definitely be in touch. Thanks."

The sandy-haired woman left Hermione alone, taking her envelope and test result papers with her. Hermione chuckled, trying to make light of the situation, and said, "I guess I've no other problems. Blast, I didn't even ask." She rose to find her clothes. "She would have mentioned it," she reasoned. "Just the endometriosis... I'll ask on my way out anyway to be sure."

Deciding to take a walk through Hyde Park, which she'd always enjoyed, even as a child, she found herself sitting on a bench next to the upside-down tree. While she'd been there, several tourists had stopped by to pose by its cave-like opening. She remembered doing the same with Ron the first time they'd visited together. He'd wondered what it would be like to have sex beneath such a tree, and she'd told him he'd not be finding out any time soon.

Hermione grinned in remembrance and watched as a young couple with a small child stopped near the bench.

"Mummy, look," the little boy said, eyes wide, as he pointed towards the tree.

"Want to have a look?" his mother asked.

The child, seemingly frightened, shook his head and retreated to hold onto his father's leg.

"Oh, it's only a tree, baby."

"Hold my hand," his father said. A shake of the child's head was his reply, so the man asked, "Want Dad to hold you?" When the boy nodded, the man picked him up and held him against his chest. "Now shall we see it?"

"Okay, Daddy."

Watching the family pleased Hermione and brought back fond memories from her own childhood. Then she began to imagine her own family...just Ron, a child, and her. There were so many redheads in his family already, she'd hope their child would have hair the color of her own to be different. However, she hoped it would have Ron's beautiful blue eyes.

Could it be that Healer Scott is right? Am I only refusing to start a family because it's not what I've always expected of myself? Am I not giving Ron's idea fair thought? Why couldn't she have her career and be a mother? Her mother had done it with very little time off. Many women did it. Why was this such an issue with her?

Her thoughts then strayed to Mrs. Weasley. What if she, like Molly, got sidetracked? What if she never returned to work after having her first child? What if she liked motherhood too much? Would she one day look back on her youth with regret? Would she always wonder what might have been if she'd used those early years to pursue her dreams first?

"I'm being ridiculous," she mumbled. Hermione, get a grip. There's such a thing as analyzing things too much.

The laughter of a child...the same little boy...drew her attention back to the family. A smile graced her lips again as she took in the happiness beaming from each face. And in that instant, she realized how very much she wanted this future with Ron. What if she had infertility problems due to her endometriosis and waiting the amount of time she'd asked would be time wasted? Why should she put off what should be?

Suddenly, it felt as though her time was running out, as if some clock had begun to tick inside her body. She stood, nodded to the boy's mother, and began walking to a private section of the park so she could Apparate to Grimmauld Place without being seen. She needed to speak with Ron, needed to tell him that she'd changed her mind, needed to confide everything her Healer had told her.

Hermione turned and Disapparated, appearing across the street from Ron's house. A thought plagued her then. What if she did have trouble conceiving? Would it be fair to make Ron go through that? The Healer did seem optimistic though. I'll just lay it all out on the table and let him read the pamphlets. We can go from there.

She strode across the street and knocked on his door. Seconds later, she heard barking from inside and chuckled. That dog would definitely take some getting used to, but she was certain that she...and Crookshanks...could learn to cope. Unable to contain herself, she knocked again and finally heard footsteps.

Ron then opened the door, an expression of surprise on his face. "Hermione!" He stepped out to greet her and closed the door behind him. "What brings you by?" He placed a kiss on her cheek and hugged her.

"I don't know where to start," she said in a rush. "I had an appointment today, then I went to the park, and I was thinking about..." She realized something was off. "What's wrong?"

"Er, nothing. Why?"

"Why are we standing outside on your doorstep?"

He scratched the back of his neck nervously, and his ears reddened. "I've got company, but that's okay. Come on in." He reached behind him to turn the doorknob and open the door.

Hermione followed him, and his new familiar, inside and then into the living room.

"Do you remember Samantha Fawcett?" Ron asked, guiding Hermione into the room. "From Hogwarts?"

"Hi there," the girl said in a friendly voice, rising and extending a hand towards Hermione. "I was in Ravenclaw, two years ahead of you."

"I do remember you," Hermione said, accepting the hand and shaking it. "I first saw you at the Dueling Club."

Samantha laughed easily. "Yes, I remember that. I remember thinking your mate was the heir of Slytherin, what with that snake incident."

"You and everyone else," Ron said, still looking a bit nervous.

"Don't forget the long white beard I had when I tried to get past Dumbledore's Age Line," Samantha replied, again laughing.

"Like so many others." Ron's expression turned wistful, as he'd obviously been reminded of Fred and George.

"Well, how are you?" Hermione asked politely.

"Doing pretty good. I've just recently stepped down from my assistant coaching position for the Holyhead Harpies. It's what I've been doing since I left school, and though I love it, it's time for a break, something different."

"She loves Quidditch," Ron added, "and she gets tickets whenever she wants...to almost any team's match in England!"

"That's impressive," Hermione said untruthfully, disliking the girl immensely. "How do, ah, you two know each other?"

"Oh..." Ron's voice trailed away as he looked from one woman to the other.

Samantha's brow furrowed. "I'm sorry, but is something wrong?" she asked.

"No, nothing at all," Hermione replied smoothly. "I was just stopping by to... to see if... Well, I hadn't seen Ron in a few days, so I thought I'd knock him up. I'm sorry. I didn't know he had company." As she backed towards the doorway, Ron stepped forward.

"Wait, Hermione... I'll walk you out."

"It's all right. I know my way."

"I insist," he said firmly. Looking back to Samantha, he said, "I'll just be a moment. Then we can walk over to see Harry and Ginny."

"All right," the girl said, sitting back on the couch. "It was good to see you again, Hermione."

"Likewise," Hermione said, blindly walking down the hallway towards the front door, tears threatening to spill down her cheeks.

"Will you stop for a minute?" Ron asked, grabbing her wrist. "Why'd you come here today, Hermione? It wasn't just for a visit, was it?"

She shook her head. "Is she one of your matches?"

"Yeah," he admitted after a moment. "I should have told you we were meeting."

"You don't owe me an explanation, Ron." The bitterness in her voice belied her true feelings.

"Then why are you so upset?" he asked. "Have you... changed your mind about things?"

Hermione sucked in a deep breath and thought of the woman in his living room. The agency had seen fit to pair Samantha and Ron together. She knew that they both loved Quidditch a great deal, and she could only imagine that Samantha was ready to settle down, same as Ron. Why else would they be matched? Who was she to risk Ron's happiness? What if she told him of her feelings but she could never bear his child? Could she live with herself? Would he resent her?

"I shouldn't have just stopped by like this," she said, finally finding her voice. "I just missed you, that's all."

"Do you want me to ask her to leave?"

"No," she said with a shake of her head. "No, Ron, please. I'll be all right. I'm just being silly. Have a good time." She leaned up on tiptoes and kissed his cheek before fleeing his home. Fate had once again slapped her in the face.

SW: How many times have I had this happen to me? I realize that I do want something, and then it's too late. Kind of like life saying, "Ahahaha, sucker! You snooze, you lose." Sucks. Anyway, it's a sad situation all around. More up soon.