Chapter 18 – Harry’s Horror

Chapter 18 – Harry's Horror

Thoughts of the Quick-Quotes Quill haunted Harry over the following days. He'd torn off the piece of parchment that had detailed Ginny's embrace and stashed it in his pocket, torturing himself by reading it over and over. The revelations had started to consume him, so much in fact that he couldn't concentrate on finalising the upcoming Montenegro case and had to hand over the presentation at the Wizengamot to Ron. Every time he thought of Ginny in another man's arms, white-hot lava of pure rage would bubble in his stomach with such force that it made him nauseous. But he would not confront her until he had solid proof of her adultery.

Part of him couldn't believe that Ginny would be unfaithful. He was her first lover, just as she was his. And even though he knew from his own bitter experience with Rita Skeeter how a Quick-Quotes Quill could embellish and distort the truth, the rest of the article was a highly accurate account of the match. So either the quill had taken on a life of its own and became faulty once the game was over, or it had been telling the truth. Or a half-truth, anyway – if Ginny had been kissing another man, it could not have been the long-dead Severus Snape.

The more he thought about it, the more likely it seemed that she was having some sort of affair. The other evidence from that evening did allude to it, after all. Firstly, there was her excuse as to why her family and friends could not join her in the press box as usual for the match. Secondly, there was the all-too-cosy scene of two half-empty wine glasses and fine canapés: quite the intimate date. And thirdly, Ginny and her suitor's seemingly abrupt disappearance. Did they Apparate somewhere to have sex? Had they made love in his own marital bed? And how long had it been going on? Once more, the bile in Harry's stomach swelled as various scenarios played unbidden through his mind like a bad dream.

Although they slept in separate rooms these days, Harry was perceptive enough to know that something was amiss as Ginny had been acting strangely over the last week or so around the house. Sometimes, she was almost like the old Ginny: vivacious and happy. But then she'd suddenly changed, and her whole demeanour became anxious and restless. She barely spoke, hardly ate and looked pale and tired. It was almost as if she were lovesick, which cemented in Harry's mind that Ginny was indeed involved with another man.

Was he to blame for Ginny's infidelity? Was he a bad father? Was he a bad husband? Harry felt in his heart of hearts that the answer to each of these questions was "no". He'd only ever had eyes for Ginny, even when various witches had all but thrown themselves at him in the years after the war. There had even been a time, whilst he had been hunting Horcruxes and camping out in various locations to avoid detection, when there was a distinct moment of sexual tension between him and Hermione. But neither of them had acted on it; they had both stayed loyal and faithful to the people they loved.

Merlin knew he'd tried to make it work when times were tough in his marriage to Ginny; he'd bitten his tongue and backed down countless times for the sake of harmony. Yes, things hadn't been perfect for a long time; the relationship of husband and wife had settled instead into the comfortable camaraderie of brother and sister, but he'd always loved her, supported her and been there for her. He never treated her badly. Also, it was clearly unrealistic to imagine that their young, all-consuming love affair could continue with the same intensity once the children had come along. But that was not to say it made dealing with the reality of their changing relationship any easier.

If he was guilty of anything, Harry supposed it was denial that something was wrong in the first place. Ginny's tirade at the hospital had shown him that there was much more going on under the surface than he'd first realised. Her outburst had cut him to the core, though. Blaming him for Al's illness was one thing; it may have been irrational, but it was something he could understand. For her to have insinuated that Harry never did anything to help, however, hurt him unimaginably. His job was very demanding, but he cooked, cleaned and looked after the kids whenever he had the chance. The truth was that Molly, being the unstoppable force of nature that she was, took on many of their shared parental responsibilities whilst he and Ginny tried to juggle the demands of their careers. Molly was more than happy to do that; they were all family, after all. One big happy family. Or at least, they had been.

If Harry could find concrete evidence for Ginny's infidelity, then he felt their marriage would be irreparably over. Even through the rough times over the last few months, Harry had never stopped loving Ginny. But if she had chosen another man over him, he could never forgive her. For him, cheating was the ultimate betrayal, and there was no way in his mind that they could continue as husband and wife.

When had it started to go wrong, Harry wondered. Certainly, things had come to a head when Al had become ill. What would have happened if Al had died? Would Ginny have pushed him away then, or would she have clung to him for support? He shuddered, not able to believe he'd actually considered for a moment that the death of his son could have somehow made a positive difference to the state of his marriage. Ginny hadn't forgiven him for having to respond to a threat to international security and leaving her at the hospital when Al was sick, but what choice did he have? And if Al had died, then surely she would have despised him even more.

Of course, Harry was thankful that his son was alive. He was grateful to Alfric O. Nobel, PhD, whoever that person was, for rescuing Al. Quite how he knew about Al's allergy was still a mystery, but Harry was just relieved at the time that his son had been saved and not really interested in how or why. Unlike Ginny, who'd argued with him repeatedly over Al's saviour once Al had recovered...

A shiver of dread ran through Harry as an unpleasant thought formed in his mind. Could the elusive and reclusive Mr. Nobel actually be Severus Snape, his former Potions master? If it was Snape, it would explain how he knew about Al's allergic reaction, if he'd seen the reaction before in Harry's mum, Lily... After all, it had been reported in the Prophet that Mr. Nobel was famed as being a brilliant potioneer... And it would mean that the Quick-Quotes Quill was actually telling the truth...

He shook his head impatiently, as if to clear such foolish thoughts from his mind. Snape was dead. He, Harry, had seen it with his own eyes in the Shrieking Shack. His name was etched on the war memorial in the grounds of Hogwarts, one of the many who had fallen in the final battle. True, there were rumours that his body had never been recovered, that Voldemort had disposed of his body personally, but even so, to think he was alive was sheer madness... wasn't it?

Not necessarily, the logical, Auror part of Harry's brain reasoned. Just because something seemed implausible, it did not mean it was impossible. Thinking back, Harry remembered that Snape's portrait had not appeared in the Headmaster's office when he'd gone to view Snape's memories in the Pensieve. That hadn't really sunk in at the time; there was so much going on in the battle that a missing painting was low down on his priorities. But thinking about it now, it did seem rather odd; when Dumbledore had died, his portrait had appeared in the office straight away. That was how the portraits worked. But even after the battle, when Harry had returned to the office in order to repair his wand, there was still no portrait of Headmaster Snape, even though they'd had evidence that he'd been loyal to Dumbledore all along and, by proxy, to the school. Could the absence of a Headmaster portrait be solid, conclusive proof that Snape was indeed still alive? And was Snape therefore really having an affair with his wife?

There was only one way to find out for certain if Snape was alive or dead before he confronted Ginny with his suspicions and ended their marriage: Harry had to go back to Hogwarts and speak to Professor McGonagall about the missing portrait.