XIII

Hermione woke up to the odd sensation of being at peace with the world, feeling as if everything would be all right in the end. She couldn't remember the last time she'd felt that way, but guessed it had been a few years.

She stretched in bed, luxuriating in the feel of her muscles limbering up, and tried to remember her dreams. She knew she'd had quite a few troubling ones early on in the night, but then she'd dreamt that she'd woken up from one of the more terrifying nightmares to find Severus sitting at the foot of her bed, watching over her. He hadn't said anything; he'd just smiled wistfully, smoothed her covers out and placed a chaste kiss on her lips.

After that, she'd slept fairly well.

She smiled as she placed her fingertips on her lips, remembering their last real kiss, but the smile drained from her face as she remembered everything else. Closing her eyes, she resigned herself to another day spent avoiding Severus.

It was for his own good.

No longer feeling very good, she dragged herself out of bed to prepare for the day ahead. She tried to concentrate on her upcoming lessons with Professor Dumbledore, but thoughts of Severus kept pushing themselves into the foreground.

She didn't love him, of that she was quite certain, but she didn't hate him either. She wasn't sure what she felt for him, but she was beginning to think that getting to know him better would be nice. Well, maybe not "nice," but it would be interesting, and she was sure there would be rewards to balance out the frustration.

Of course, getting to know him would require some proximity, and that wasn't going to happen until she was confident that she wouldn't blow him to smithereens. Getting to know him would also require his cooperation, and if he was still avoiding her, then whether she was in control or not was a moot point.

Details, details, she thought wryly as she headed down the corridor.

Joining the throng headed down to breakfast, she was so caught up in her train of thought that she was oblivious to the students parting for her until a fourth year Hufflepuff yanked a second year Slytherin out of her path. The move brought her focus back to the present, and she looked around to find all of the students in the area keeping their distance. They were all watching her nervously, and some were even cowering.

"Oh, for heaven's sake, grow up!" she said with a scowl before stalking into the Great Hall, vaguely aware that her hair was swirling around of its own accord.

She let her book bag fall to the floor with a thump as she sat down heavily next to Harry.

"Morning. Please pass the potatoes," she requested, trying to tone her annoyance down. There was no need to take out her frustrations on her friends.

Ginny dutifully handed them over without looking up. Her elbow was on the table as she drew her fork around in her plate, pushing the bacon here and there next to the eggs.

Hermione noticed this and looked at Harry questioningly. He shrugged, but looked a bit worried himself.

"I'm fine!" Ginny said moodily, as if they'd been pestering her instead of exchanging a single glance.

"Okay," Hermione said, not wanting to inflame Ginny further. She and Harry avoided looking at each other, but they couldn't help sneaking furtive glances at the red head.

After five minutes of awkward silence, Ginny slammed her fork down and looked up testily.

"Stop it! I told you, I'm fine, so just stop it!"

Harry and Hermione both looked at her, bewildered.

"Erm, Ginny..." Hermione started but stopped when Ginny looked her way. Her eyes were flashing, and it was obvious she was on the verge of a temper tantrum. Both Harry and Hermione had dealt with enough of those to know the signs. It was harder to know how to circumvent them.

"We believe you," Harry said in his 'soothing' tone. "You're perfectly fine, and we'll stop doing whatever it is that's annoying you, although if we knew what that was, it would help."

Without warning, Ginny cast a powerful Bat-Bogey Hex on Harry and stomped away without a second glance.

Hermione quickly cast the counter-jinx for Harry, and he dithered for a moment on whether to follow Ginny or not, but in the end decided it would be better to leave his witch be for the while.

"What was that about, or do I want to know?" Hermione asked after he'd started pushing his food around morosely, unconsciously imitating his wife.

Putting his fork down, he swept his hand through his hair in a familiar gesture of frustration.

"I don't know! I guess she just woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning because she was fine last night. I can't think of anything happening that could have upset her like this."

"How about things that haven't happened?" Hermione asked jokingly.

Harry took her seriously, though, furrowing his brow in thought.

"Harry, I was..."

"The only thing I can think of is that I said she didn't look well this morning. She's been, well, like that ever since."

Hermione shook her head. "I'm guessing that giving her a little time and space will solve everything, Harry. Really," she pressed when Harry looked less than convinced.

"I hope so." He looked down at his plate again, toying with his fork. "So, do you think Snape's going to be mellow again today?" he asked hopefully, changing the topic.

Hermione looked up at the staff table, but once again, Snape was nowhere to be found. She shrugged and looked around before quietly saying, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since late Wednesday night."

Harry looked up at that, surprised. "Did he hurt you? If he did, I'll..."

Hermione shook her head quickly. "No. Truth be told, I hurt him." She smiled ruefully at her glass of pumpkin juice. "He has every right to want to avoid seeing me."

Harry didn't say anything, but when Hermione looked up, he was giving her a hard stare.

"Have you talked with him since?"

Hermione shook her head. "Not really. It's more complicated than a simple talk is going to fix."

Harry rolled his eyes and sighed. "That's what you said every time you and Ron had a nasty row, and every time all it took was an apology before you guys were the most sickening couple on the planet again."

Hermione laughed softly, remembering their last fight with amusement. They'd been so angry with each other and over what? Whether coffee was better than tea in the morning. Granted, the argument had been as much about stress relief as it was about caffeine. And the make up sex had been worth every ounce of friction.

She smiled down at her pumpkin juice torn between the joy of the memory and the despair of her loss.

"I miss him, too," Harry said quietly, shifting over to put an arm around her.

Leaning her head against his shoulder, she sighed. "It was so sudden. All of it: the hunt, the battle, his death... All of it seemed to happen so fast."

She felt Harry nodding his head. "Yeah, but I don't think he'd want you pining away for him. I know he'd try to hex me if I didn't move on with life, and he'd probably try to hex you, too."

She laughed, pulling away. "No, he wouldn't hex me. He would tie me down and shout till he was hoarse."

Harry backed away, his hands up in defense. "Too much information there, Hermione!"

She slapped him lightly on his arm, smiling. "Prat."

He smirked at her slyly, trying to look innocent while doing so. The look was so reminiscent of Severus she gasped... and then burst into laughter.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, thinking she was crying.

"Not... crying..." she tried to explain, but her mirth was making her breathless. Calming herself, she wiped her eyes and giggled as she explained. "You looked just like Severus for a minute there."

When Harry scowled at the thought, she started laughing again. "There, too! Your scowl... Perfect!" she gasped.

Harry's face took on a bit of acrobatics while he tried to express his disgust without adopting one of Snape's expressions. He gave up about the time Hermione started clutching her stomach from laughing so hard.

"You're cruel, you know that? Cruel!" he exclaimed, though she could see his lips were twitching in amusement.

Calming down, Hermione grinned. "Oh, come now. It isn't as bad as all that, is it?"

He purposefully sneered, setting off her laughter once more.

---

She rode the spiral staircase up to Dumbledore's office with the remainder of breakfast's laughter still on her face. She was nervous to begin studying under the greatest wizard of the age, but she was just as eager and excited. She'd heard he had been an excellent teacher in his time, and she couldn't wait to experience that for herself.

The door was open when she reached it, but she still knocked politely on the frame before entering. Hearing her, Dumbledore turned and graced her with a grandfatherly smile that set her at ease immediately.

"Welcome, Ms. Granger! I hope this morning finds you well."

"Very well, sir, thank you," she answered, mind reeling at how different an experience this was from any of Severus' lessons.

Dumbledore's mustache twitched as if he knew what she was thinking, but all he said was, "Excellent. Shall we get started then?"

At her eager nod, Dumbledore flicked his wand at a relatively empty spot in his office, transforming it from cluttered and eccentric office space to a sparse table perfect for potions preparation and a chalkboard covered with a complicated recipe she'd never seen before.

Beside the table was a shelf with every sort of cauldron she could imagine along with hundreds of ingredients – far more than the student stores held.

"I suggest you get started," Dumbledore said kindly, shaking her out of her awed perusal. She immediately reviewed the board and found there was no indication of what type of cauldron to use. Looking over at Dumbledore, she found him regarding her passively, and she got the distinct impression that this was a test.

He smiled encouragingly, and she smiled back nervously while trying to allay the panic she felt rising. She did not want to fail in front of the headmaster.

Shaking herself slightly, she reviewed the recipe and all its ingredients, trying to figure out the purpose of the potion, but found that she could narrow it down no further than half a dozen options. The unfortunate part was that each metal and alloy reacted differently to create wildly different uses of those ingredients.

"Sir," she said, looking over at Dumbledore. He glanced up from some parchments and regarded her seriously.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Er, may I ask a question?"

He looked rather pleased. "You may. You may even ask three other questions relating to the potion."

She smiled absently and thought about her question carefully. After going through all the traits of each ingredient, and the reactions each had with others, she was relieved to find she only needed to know one thing at that moment.

"Which cauldron should I use, sir?"

He smiled proudly, and she wondered if that was the test.

"The sixteen inch silver cauldron will do nicely, I should think."

Hermione nodded and fetched the cauldron, thinking out what the reactions would be while she prepared the ingredients. Half an hour later, she stepped back from the cauldron, hoping the potion was supposed to look like purple mud at this point. She lowered the heat to a gentle simmer and watched for a moment while the bubbles struggled their way to the surface.

She looked over at Dumbledore for reassurance, but his expression didn't tell her anything.

"Sir, is the potion supposed to look like that at this point?" she asked, hoping she wasn't wasting a question, but wanting to be certain before there wasn't any time left to correct mistakes.

He got up and walked over to observe the potion, although she suspected it wasn't necessary, as she'd felt him watching her the entire time.

"Yes, this looks quite nice," he said after observing it closely from several different angles. "Yes, I believe this will turn out just fine. Well done, Ms. Granger," he said as he straightened and looked past his spectacles at her. "Now, have you come to any conclusion on what this potion might be?"

Hermione shook her head. "It's a restorative draught of some kind, I gather, but I've never seen one quite like this. If it had mandrake in it, I would think it was a cure-all, but without it, I can't imagine it being useful for countering most spells. It must be for something specific."

Dumbledore inclined his head. "You are on the right path. I suspect you will have a better idea when it is finished. Would you care for something to drink while the potion matures?" She nodded and he gestured she take a seat in one of the squashy chairs in front of his desk.

"If you don't mind my asking, I was wondering if you had thought any further on my offer?" he asked while conjuring her a cup of what smelled like hot chocolate.

Hermione nodded, biting her lip as she did so.

"Yes, sir. I was wondering about a few things though."

"Such as?" he prompted when she hadn't continued.

"Such as, how soon do you think I'll be able to rein in my powers? What exactly are these powers? What's the process involved in controlling them? What are the chances of my losing control and hurting someone or of becoming a power hungry lunatic like Darth, erm, Voldemort? Is it really the Force, and how did you tell Minerva about that before it even existed?" She paused for breath and noticed Dumbledore was chuckling.

"I'm glad to see you're thinking about this." She blushed and opened her mouth to apologize, but he continued, "However, as I told you the other night, the answers to most of those questions are variable.

"I suspect that you will be able to get rudimentary control quite quickly and possibly even achieve a certain level of mastery in a year or two, given your studious record. However, I must caution you that as we get older, life becomes rather more persistent in its goal of interfering with our plans, so it may not come as quickly as you wish."

Hermione started worrying her lip again at that, but Dumbledore continued. "At the same time, the possibility of you harming anyone due to lack of control will recede quite quickly if that is something you want to avoid. Unfortunately, you've tapped into this energy at a less-than-stable time of your life, so I imagine it will be hardest for the first year or two. As things settle down, it will be easier to keep your emotions in check and thereby control your outbursts."

Hermione looked into her mug, her stomach twisting with the possibilities. When she looked up, she found he was patiently waiting for her to speak.

"What..." she whispered, unable to hold eye contact, "what if I don't know if I want to hurt someone or not? How do I deal with that now, without waiting?"

He frowned lightly at her question, but answered kindly enough:

"How did you master your first spell?" It was a rhetorical question.

She bit her lip again, frowning. "I... It overwhelms me though. Magic so far has always been an intellectual exercise. Every time I've become overemotional, I've just lashed out physically, but now, I... I just don't know what to do, sir."

She felt, rather than saw, Dumbledore lean forward. "That is perfectly understandable, Ms. Granger. My offer is to teach you. This is something you can learn, just like the charms from the Standard Book of Spells. And just as you had Professor Flitwick to show you the precise wrist movements and the correct intonations, so too will you have me here to guide and counsel you. I can assure you that shutting yourself away will not help you. This is not something you can simply think through as a puzzle. You will have to experience all facets of this to master it."

She looked up at him, wide-eyed, hoping she had misunderstood. "But..."

"You do not have to employ all facets," he said soothingly. "But you must have the clear knowledge of your capability and the accompanying sense of responsibility, else real harm could be done."

She started trembling slightly and shook her head. "I want to avoid the temptation altogether. I've had nightmares the past two nights about how terrible my powers made me, and I don't want to even get near that."

Dumbledore relaxed slightly and smiled. "But don't you see, child? While not real in the physical sense, those dreams have given you a touch of experience."

She sniffed and looked at him, unsure. "But..."

"Magic does not exist wholly on the physical plane, Ms. Granger. It is as much in our minds and souls as it is in our bodies. Do not dismiss dreams as irrelevant or mere fantasy. We can learn a great deal from them if we listen carefully and intelligently."

She hadn't thought about it that way, but his words resonated within her. She felt one burden lift off her shoulders.

"And what would the process be? How does this work?"

Dumbledore smiled and popped a sweet into his mouth. "It is much like learning magic all over again. You would learn to focus the energies properly, using your wand to channel them."

His face took on a thoughtful look, and his eyes lit up as he said, "Your wand... It was broken recently, was it not?"

Hermione nodded and the old tingling sensation in her stomach appeared, as if a puzzle piece was about to be placed.

Dumbledore sat back with a rather broad smile. "Oh, Ms. Granger, it appears I owe you yet another apology! It is very possible that your unpredictability lately has more to do with that than anything else! The wand you're using, I am assuming it is Lucius Malfoy's missing wand?" Hermione nodded, flushing slightly. Dumbledore smiled happily at her though. "It would seem that his wand isn't conducive to your magic. Normally it wouldn't be much of an issue, but with your energies tapped... I do apologize for not thinking of this any sooner. A new wand should help tremendously!"

"Really?" Hermione asked, her voice pathetically hopeful as another burden lifted from her shoulders. Dumbledore just beamed down at her.

"Oh! That's... That's good then!"

"Indubitably!"

He looked rather pleased with himself and summoned a large parchment to his desk. As he pored over it, he said, as much to himself as to her, "I will arrange for you to visit Ollivander's, preferably sooner than later. Hopefully the schedule will allow Severus to escort you there this weekend."

Hermione suddenly felt very awkward. "Erm, sir?"

He looked up distractedly, though he focused quickly when he saw how distressed she was.

"Would it... I... Could..." She shook her head, feeling like it would be cowardice to ask for someone else as an escort. "Never mind."

"What's upset you?" Dumbledore asked gently.

"Nothing," she answered determinedly. "I have a study date tomorrow afternoon, but otherwise I'm free."

"All right," he said mildly as he looked at the chart again. "Well, it seems Severus has no rounds at all on Sunday. If you wish, you could even make a day of it. I know you've had very little time alone together yet."

Hermione bit her tongue, deciding that if the headmaster was living in blissful ignorance, she would not be the person to deprive him of that state.

"Sounds fun," she said faintly, hoping that two days would be enough time to figure out her feelings surrounding Severus.

"Lovely! And I believe your potion has only thirty seconds left to simmer."

Hermione jumped up to tend to the potion, firmly forcing all extraneous thoughts from her mind as she concentrated on the final intricate steps. Before long, she was bottling a viscous greenish substance, still wondering what it cured.

When she handed Professor Dumbledore the bottle, he asked, "So, have you any ideas what you just brewed?"

Hermione reluctantly shook her head. "The only thing I can think of is that it's to do with the bones somehow. Is it for arthritis?"

Dumbledore smiled enigmatically and asked, "Shall I answer? That is your third question."

Hermione shook her head immediately, cursing herself for such carelessness.

"No, sir. I suppose my final question is whether I have any knowledge of this potion."

He nodded his head merrily. "Yes. Now, your homework is to read up on restorative draughts and report your findings, including your educated guess on what this potion may be and its specific effects. An essay no longer than three feet, say?"

Hermione nodded, picking up her book bag just as the lunch bell rang.

"Thank you, Professor. Oh, and I think I'd like that training."

He smiled down at her. "Excellent. I will send you a note as to when to start."

She thanked him again and left for lunch.

---

When she arrived at the Great Hall, Ginny was just exiting, a rather enticing smelling napkin in her hand.

"Care for a quiet lunch?" she asked jovially, holding the napkin up for inspection. Hermione saw two sandwiches tucked discretely into the folds.

"All right." Hermione didn't know what to make of Ginny's extreme mood shift from that morning's outburst, but she wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. It took them barely five minutes to find an empty classroom and conjure some comfortable chairs.

"Where's Harry?" Hermione asked, tentatively. Ginny gave her an odd look and then shrugged placidly.

"Don't know. Wasn't he in class?"

"I don't know," Hermione said, then at another one of Ginny's odd looks, remembered she hadn't shared her news. "Oh, I'm no longer taking Potions with Severus. Professor Dumbledore has offered to be my tutor."

"Oh." Ginny looked impressed. "Well, that solves that entire 'my husband the teacher' scenario you were worried about."

"Yes, it does, doesn't it?" Hermione replied happily.

"So, how is married life treating you?" Ginny asked right before she bit into her meat sandwich.

Hermione looked down at her meal as her cheerfulness, along with her appetite, suddenly disappeared.

"Great."

"That was really believable, Hermione! You're getting much better at dissembling!"

Hermione looked up to see Ginny smirking at her.

"That obvious?"

Ginny nodded. "So, are you going to dish on why Snape was in such a good mood yesterday? It might make you feel better."

"What are you implying?"

"Just that you look guilty, Snape seems cheerful, and so obviously the order of the universe is completely out of whack. What did you think I was implying?"

Hermione shook her head. "Nothing." She played with a bit of cheese that was dangling off the edge of her bread, wondering how much she should tell Ginny. She felt like she needed someone to confide in, and although Minerva was coming to be a friend, the fact that she was Severus' colleague gave the conversations a different dynamic that wasn't necessarily conducive to confiding. It had been very uncomfortable telling Minerva the bare minimum necessary to secure the room.

"I..." She looked around as if checking for hidden visitors and then cast a quick Muffliato before admitting, "I haven't seen him since Wednesday night."

Ginny looked at her in surprise.

"Really? I was sure that you must have just worn him out. Why?"

Hermione blushed at Ginny's implication, and the knowledge that that's what everyone else would be thinking as well. "I had a couple of bad dreams and overreacted. He more or less told me to sleep elsewhere."

Ginny's face contorted with anger. "That bastard! How dare he..."

"No, Ginny, it's not like that! I..." Hermione sighed, realizing that she was required to tell the whole story yet again. Ginny listened patiently throughout, and Hermione felt a bit better by the time she reached the end.

"And we've been avoiding each other ever since. So, I imagine I am to blame for his restraint yesterday, but I expect it isn't from good cheer."

Ginny scooted over to offer Hermione her shoulder, hugging her fiercely.

"You do know that he almost certainly wasn't mad at you, don't you? If I were him, I would be after Malfoy's head for putting you through all that."

Hermione nodded, but sighed. "I can see that now, but then why did he send me away?"

"Hermione," Ginny said seriously, turning so that she could look her in the eye, "how do you think he felt seeing you flinch at the sight of him? If he loves you as much as you think he does... If that had happened to me and Harry, I know he would have happily slept in the common room that night. My guess is he actually thought you would be more comfortable elsewhere, as far away from him until you aren't scared of him anymore."

"If that's so, it's very sweet, but the fact of the matter is I am scared of him, though not because of the nightmares. I'm terrified I'll blow him up if he happens to say something that pisses me off, which, you have to admit, is pretty likely."

"You blowing him up or him pissing you off?"

Hermione laughed. "Both, I suppose."

"Oh, Hermione," Ginny said, shaking her head, "I don't envy you your relationship."

Hermione snorted and decided to change the subject.

"Speaking of enviable relationships, what was going on this morning?"

Ginny scowled, but then a grin popped out against her will.

"Oh, Harry just..." She shook her head. "Harry was just being Harry, that's all."

"In which way?"

Ginny snorted. "The usual. He's better than a lot of boys are, but he's still absolutely clueless."

At Hermione's inquiring look, she sighed and explained. "I was, well, feeling a little, er, feisty this morning, so I was lounging in bed, trying my best to look a bit sultry and lure Harry back to me. When he noticed I hadn't gotten up, he came to investigate, saw me sprawled out on the bed in my best seductive pose, and asked, 'Are you feeling all right'?"

Hermione blushed a bit, but laughed along with Ginny.

"I was a little offended, but not deterred, so I sat up and started crawling toward him in what I thought was an enticing manner. Instead, he got that worried frown of his, touched my forehead and said, 'Really, Gin, you look feverish. Maybe you should check in on Madam Pomfrey before breakfast.'

"And then the considerate prat goes and gets me a cool flannel!" Hermione laughed and shook her head in sympathy while Ginny finished. "Needless to say, by that point, I wouldn't have let him touch me had he declared me a goddess and started worshipping at my feet, but you know, I don't think he ever thought beyond his first impression!" Ginny was laughing so hard she was having trouble speaking. "I just don't know what I'm going to do with that boy!"

"You're right. When I asked him what was wrong this morning, he did think you were upset because he said you looked off, but beyond that, he was rather hopelessly lost. If I'd known what was really wrong, I would have slapped him upside the head for you."

Ginny grinned. "Well, maybe it's a good thing you didn't know then, what with your new stupendous powers. By the way, has anyone told you what's going on yet?"

"Yes!" Hermione exclaimed and then rushed on to tell Ginny about her upcoming lessons with Dumbledore.

"Wow," was all Ginny said, looking at Hermione with a bit of awe. "That's why Dumbledore is so powerful? So that means you could very possibly become the next Dumbledore? That's... Wow. I'll have to keep in touch, now won't I?"

Hermione gently shoved Ginny, feeling silly at how obtuse she'd been. Dumbledore was just about as far from being a dark wizard as anyone, which gave her hope for herself.

"Well, if, as you say, I do become the next Dumbledore, it'll be many, many years before I have even a smidgen of the influence he has, so I'm afraid you'll have to keep in contact for quite a while."

With a disappointed face, Ginny glumly replied, "I guess I'm in for the long haul then," before she shot her a sly grin.

---

Harry was waiting by the door when Hermione showed up for Transfiguration, and as soon as he caught sight of her, his face sagged with relief.

"Hermione!" he said, meeting her halfway. "Where were you for lunch?"

She smiled at his concern. "Ginny waylaid me, and we had lunch in an abandoned classroom. I expect she would have deigned to invite you had you been there."

By his shifty look, Harry had obviously caught on to her implied question, but he decided to ignore it.

"Oh, good! That means you saw Ginny. Is she feeling better?"

Hermione coughed to hide her laugh, but smiled nonetheless. "Yes, she's feeling much better. I expect it was just a minor irritation, that's all."

Harry sighed in relief even as he frowned slightly. "Did she say what was wrong?"

Hermione was saved the embarrassment of answering when the classroom door swung open, and McGonagall hurriedly ushered everyone in. She had never been more grateful that McGonagall required her NEWT students be studious from the moment they walked in the door. Harry didn't have a chance to pursue the subject.

At the end of Transfiguration, Hermione was able to convince Harry to go talk to Ginny, leaving her free to nervously approach McGonagall. She was feeling guilty about avoiding Severus again tonight, but until she had a new wand and her control had increased a little bit, she felt as though it was the least she could do for him.

Or so she tried to convince herself.

She stood at the corner of McGonagall's desk until the last student left, and the professor looked up at her.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"I was wondering, Professor, whether I could extend my stay another night or two?"

Hermione bit her lip when McGonagall frowned, a disappointed look crossing her face.

"Hermione, you really must..." Minerva closed her eyes, and when she opened them, her gaze was devoid of any feelings. "Of course you may, child. However, in return, I hope you'll join me for tea after dinner tonight?"

Although Minerva's tone was friendly, Hermione knew that she was going to get an unpleasant lecture. Inwardly sighing, she smiled and said, "I'd be delighted, Minerva. Thank you."

Minerva nodded. "My office at eight then."

Hermione nodded and left for the library, dreading the impending discussion about Severus. By the time eight rolled around, however, she had decided that it might be good to discuss Severus with someone who knew him quite well, even if she did feel uncomfortable talking about him to his superior.

Resigning herself to her fate, Hermione knocked at the stroke of eight. When Minerva called out for her to enter, she expected her to be at her desk, grading papers. Instead, she was sitting in the chair facing the door, already holding a cup of tea.

"I'm sorry, Minerva. Did I keep you wai..." Hermione's voice faded out in surprise as she suddenly caught sight of an equally surprised Severus Snape. Severus' gaze quickly hardened as he turned back to face Minerva.

"Really, Minerva, must you..."

"Shush, you," Minerva said repressively to Severus while gesturing for Hermione to come in. Closing the door behind her, Hermione was startled by the harsh look Minerva was giving them. It looked like Severus was going to say something, but Minerva held up her hand imperiously, and Severus' mouth shut with a snap.

"I've had enough from you two. Yes, you've had a rough start and a rough few days, but now it is time to gather yourselves and grow up!"

Severus must have smirked because Minerva shot him a withering look and said, "I'm including you in that statement as well, Severus."

He looked like he wanted to object, but another look from Minerva kept him quiet.

Hermione worried her lip as she stood, hands clasped in front of her as if she was awaiting punishment. She snuck furtive glances at Severus, who seemed to be sulking in his seat until Minerva's voice brought their attention back to her.

"Although I do wish to see you both happy and able to work things out on your own, right now all I want is for you two to deal with each other like adults before the rumors start flying around even more fiercely than they already are. To that end, I am locking you both in this room until you can both treat each other as the adults you supposedly are."

Minerva stomped past Hermione to the door. Turning back, she added frostily, "If you haven't worked out your problems by the morning, I will have to bring in reinforcements, and trust me, you do not want that!"

And with that, she slammed the door shut, leaving Hermione and Severus facing each other, each looking rather surprised.

They stared at each other for a long moment before Severus said, "I see you've managed to survive the last two days." He then turned away with a sneer, leaving Hermione gaping at the back of his head.

"You really are a git, aren't you?"

Severus stilled and turned back, his expression unreadable. "I suspect Minerva does not include name-calling in her definition of acting as an adult."

"I expect she doesn't include baiting either."

She wasn't sure, but for an instant she thought she saw his lips twitch, but he turned away, his attention back on his teacup.

"No, I doubt she does. She's horribly mundane in that regard."

Hermione shook her head, but was unable to suppress a snort of amusement. Walking over to the chair Minerva had vacated, she conjured a cup of her own.

Pouring herself some tea, she responded, "Her sense of irony is rather astute though, wouldn't you say?"

When he snorted in turn, she bit her lip to keep herself from grinning in triumph.

"Indeed."

Leaning back, she made herself as comfortable as possible in the stiff chair and observed Severus warily as she sipped her tea.

"So what now?" she asked into the tedious silence.

He smirked, set his cup down and leaned back into the comfortable sofa. "I believe this is where you apologize and grovel for my forgiveness, Madam."

Hermione tried to remain calm, but it was very difficult. After a few moments, she finally ground out, "Why are you trying to provoke me, Severus? Do you really want me to be angry?"

He gave a weary sigh, which was belied by his growing smirk. "Must I repeat myself, Madam? I've already told you that you are most becoming when you get... wound up."

Hermione did not return the smirk. Instead she sat there, mortified by his answer.

"Severus," she said, shaking her head, "this... you... I can't let myself get angry. I'm not in control of my magic anymore, and if you continue to provoke me, you may just get yourself killed."

He laughed almost merrily at that.

"Hermione, are you threatening me?"

She remained serious and shook her head. "No, I'm warning you."

His mood shifted quickly and he snickered unpleasantly. "You are most gracious in your warning, Madam," he spat, "but it would be far more effective if you could hide the terror I inspire in you." Getting up to pace behind the sofa, he shot resentful glares at her every turn.

She sat as still as stone as he watched her with a bitter look. Her heart sank, and she closed her eyes to silently curse Minerva for forcing the issue before they were ready.

She jumped when Severus' dangerous voice whispered in her ear, "Your face says it all, Hermione. You can not intimidate me, so do not waste time and effort trying to."

She looked up at him and found him staring at her harshly, his nose inches from hers.

She shook her head slowly, keeping eye contact and said, trying to keep her voice from breaking, "I'm not scared of you, Severus."

He laughed and pulled back sharply. "Do not lie to me!"

Hermione stood up. "I'm not lying, Severus! It's not you I'm scared of!"

He had faced the door and stood stiff backed while she spoke. When he turned, she gasped and instinctively stepped back at the malice he was directing her way.

"Do you think I'm an idiot, Madam?" he said dangerously, taking a step toward her. She shook her head dumbly and backed up again.

"Do you think me a coward?" She shook her head again, but he just sneered and advanced.

"You think I'm incompetent then? That my attitude is to keep others from getting near enough to find out how utterly and completely pathetic I am?"

He was towering over her, and his voice had risen from that deadly whisper to a shout. She shook her head again, opening her mouth to say anything to appease the man before her. And then his look of fury changed into something else, and he started leaning down as if to kiss her.

Something inside her snapped, and she pushed him away violently

"Maybe you are an idiot! Why else can't you take my words at face value, or even learn from your mistakes?"

He snarled and stepped up to her again, but the air had condensed around her and pushed him away. She took a step toward him, feeling a slight thrill of satisfaction at his disconcerted look. She had tried to warn him...

She advanced on him again, and he tried to stand his ground, only to stumble backwards as her shield of magic pushed him again.

"And maybe you are a coward because you do resort to intimidation when things don't go your way!"

He narrowed his eyes angrily, but continued retreating as her magic surged and pushed him further back until he hit the wall.

"And why do you have to be so hateful and vicious? Why do you have to make it so hard for everyone?" she screamed at him, feeling the air pulsing around her insistently.

At that point she noticed Severus no longer looked angry. He almost looked scared and was wincing ever so slightly.

Her anger vanished in an instant, and she immediately retreated.

He watched her and took several deep breaths, leaning on the wall for support. They stared at one another in mutual bewilderment for a moment, though her bewilderment was tinged with horror.

"I'm so sorry, Severus! I didn't mean... I..."

Backing away further, she closed her eyes and whispered, "It's not you I'm terrified of. It's me."

The room was still, and she could only hear her own ragged breaths and pulse, but after a minute or so, she also heard a very quiet and sardonic, "Perhaps I should have heeded your warning."

She let out a breath that was half laugh, half sob and nodded her head. "Yes, perhaps you should have."

Her eyes popped open when suddenly she felt his hand on her cheek. He was standing before her, looking down at her with an unreadable expression as he stroked her face fondly.

"And perhaps I am an idiot, for I should know better than to underestimate you."

She smiled wanly, but didn't feel in the mood for banter.

"Did I hurt you?" she asked, tentatively reaching out to touch his chest. His lips twitched, and he shook his head.

"Nothing more than bruised pride, my dear. I'm sure I will recover quickly."

She smiled, but felt tears threatening to spill, so she leaned her head forward. She had either misjudged the distance between them, or he had stepped forward in that instant, however, for she was surprised when her forehead came in contact with his chest. They both stilled for a moment, but then she relaxed, moving in to lean against him. He remained still for a breath longer and then cautiously brought his arms around her, holding her against him tenderly.

When he spoke, his voice reverberated in his chest.

"You understand that I will make you angry again, don't you?"

She smiled against his robe and nodded.

"And you understand that I'm not angry about tonight?"

He stroked her hair softly, and she could feel his head bobbing above her own.

"And that I still want an explanation."

Another head bob coupled with a soft, "yes," told her he knew what she was talking about. She reflexively wrapped her arms around him and gave him a gentle squeeze, receiving one in return. She closed her eyes and let herself enjoy the warmth of his embrace, pushing all her grievances and anger aside to simply feel him against her and her against him.

When he started to draw away, she let out a small mew of protest but let him go. She was somewhat surprised when he took her hand and led her over to the sofa. She was even more surprised when he sat down next to her and put his arm around her, drawing her close. After a few moments of awkwardness, they soon found themselves comfortably entwined.

"Is this all right, or do you wish to face me for the interrogation?"

She shot him a look for his sarcastic tone, but said peaceably enough, "I like this."

His arm tightened around her for a moment, and he replied, very softly, "As do I."

She rested her head against his chest again and sighed, partly from the comfort, partly from ordeal to come.

She tried to corral her thoughts and questions into some semblance of order, but as each silent minute went by, she noticed Severus was getting more and more tense.

She realized he was waiting for her to start, and not wanting to test his patience, she finally blurted out, "Why?"

He tensed a little more and then relaxed beneath her, though she could hear his heart beating very fast.

"As I told you the other day, because I want you in my life."

She shook her head and sat up, realizing she needed to face him for this conversation. He must have realized the same, for he released her and repositioned himself.

"But why chase off the competition behind my back? Why go about it in such an underhanded way?"

He was silent for a moment, staring into the fire as he thought. Just as she was wondering if he was going to answer, he started speaking, his voice low and smooth.

"I knew that if I wanted you for myself, I would need to level the playing field." He looked at her squarely, and she felt inclined to squirm under his harsh gaze. "I have no illusions about my desirability, Hermione."

"And that justifies taking the decision out of my hands?" Hermione challenged. "You could have approached me privately and let me know, but instead you decided to manipulate my life and play head games!" Hermione forced herself to calm down and then added, "You didn't even let me know you cared about me at all until the day before the wedding. You didn't give me a fair chance."

"A fair chance? Do you really want to talk about fair chances?" he growled.

"You treated me like a child, Severus! You decided you knew what was best for me instead of letting me make my own decisions!"

Severus' face tightened, and he looked away.

"Severus, I'm not saying you don't... I would have given you a fair chance if you'd been up front with me. If you'd come to that interview and said, 'Hermione, I care deeply for you. Please give me a chance,' I would have!"

Snape laughed bitterly. "Would you really? Would you have been receptive, or would you have thought I was playing some cruel prank on you?"

Hermione opened her mouth to protest, but knew his point was fair. That would have been her first reaction. She remained silent, thinking about everything he'd revealed.

"If that's what you thought... Severus, all this begs the question..." Hermione paused, before continuing carefully. "Why would you want me if you thought that I wouldn't choose you based on your own merits? Why would you want someone who thinks so little of you?"

Severus opened his mouth, but then snapped it shut again, looking unsettled. He furrowed his brow, and after a few moments, closed his eyes in resignation. She felt a bitter sort of relief that he finally got it and wondered what his next move would be. She was surprised, therefore, when he quietly said, "I really fucked things up, didn't I?"

She nodded. In what seemed an impulsive move, he reached out and caressed her cheek tenderly. He was smiling sadly at her, emotions laid bare.

"Can you forgive me?" he asked quietly.

"Do I have a choice?"

She closed her eyes and cringed in self-disgust as soon as the words were out of her mouth and desperately wished them unsaid. She had already forgiven him, truth be told. She shouldn't have been cruel.

"I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, especially since I already have. Forgiven you, that is."

Severus didn't say anything for a moment. He was completely still. She wondered if he was even breathing, but she couldn't bear to look up and see his hurt expression until he said, very quietly, "I am sorry."

She glanced up at his quiet words, her stomach a tangled knot of grief, guilt and compassion.

He looked stricken and disgusted with himself. She hoped, anyway, that the disgust was because he could clearly see his actions from her point of view now and not because he had debased himself by apologizing. She winced at that ungenerous thought and looked back down at her lap.

"We've both fucked things up pretty royally, haven't we?" she admitted.

His lips twitched, and he nodded silently as he reached out for her hand. Holding it in his, he gently rubbed his thumb along her skin, sending tingles up her arm.

"So what now?" she asked.

He chuckled sardonically. "The last time I answered that, I ended up being squeezed rather uncomfortably against that wall. The Quaffle is yours, Hermione."

She rolled her eyes at the Quidditch reference and tried to scowl at him, but ended up laughing. "Men and their sports! Can't you think of anything besides your brooms?" she teased.

He raised his eyebrow suggestively, and she blushed, only then realizing the double entendre. Seeing her blush, he grinned wickedly and said, "Of course not. Our goal in life is to score."

Hermione snorted and they shared a moment of amusement, but Snape's smile was the first to fade.

"How have you been sleeping?"

She sighed. "Better. The nightmares haven't gone, but they're better." She debated whether or not to tell him of her last dream, the one where he'd been watching over her, but decided that it wasn't something she was ready to share just yet.

"Good," he said, sounding more distracted than pleased. Glancing at him, she saw he was staring into the fireplace again pensively.

"Knut for your thoughts," she pried.

He let out a long sigh and turned back to face her, his face resolute.

"I think you should stay in Minerva's guest quarters."

That hadn't been what she was expecting him to say. Before she could ask for a reason, he continued.

"This obviously isn't an easy transition for either of us. I find I've been a bachelor for so long, I'm rather set in my ways, and..." He paused with a grimace before admitting with a sigh, "As much as I want you in my life, I can't help but still see you as my student."

He looked almost apologetic when he met her eyes, but she nodded.

"I think that's a good idea. I need time to adjust to the idea of being married as well."

He flinched slightly, and she wondered why. She also wondered why he looked nervous so suddenly before he said, "I have two questions."

She nodded for him to continue, curious.

"First..." He paused, looking distinctly uncomfortable. "First, why won't you take my name?"

Again he had surprised her.

"Erm," she said, buying time. He raised an eyebrow and waited patiently, which didn't make it any easier.

"I... I'm eighteen, Severus. My magical life, until this point, has been focused on being Harry's bookish sidekick and to help him kill the most evil wizard of our time. Somewhere along the way I decided that my identity wasn't important in the scheme of things, so... I hardly know who I am now, especially with... with everything that's happened since the end of the war. My starting place is my name. I want to figure that out a little more before I change everything around yet again."

He nodded, though he still looked pensive.

"Had Mr. Weasley survived, would you have taken his name upon marriage?"

She looked at him sharply, suddenly getting an idea of what was wrong.

"No. Not right away, anyway. If the circumstances had been the same as these, I would have given him the same explanation. The only difference is he probably would have whined about it."

She caught him off-guard with that and he snorted. She gave him a cheeky smile, which he almost returned.

"Was that the second question?" she prompted after another silence in which he had resumed staring into the fire, though not quite as pensively.

He looked up, startled, as if he had forgotten she was in the room. Looking a bit dazed, he then frowned, looking uncomfortable.

"No," he said hesitantly, and Hermione prepared herself for the worst question he could ask, though she wasn't sure what could be so bad. "Secondly, would you permit me to court you?"

Hermione wanted to laugh in relief, but she didn't dare. "Oh," she said breathlessly. "Oh, I think that would be wonderful!"

Severus relaxed visibly, though his expression hadn't changed.

"That's a brilliant way of adapting, isn't it?" she continued enthusiastically. "It'll give us a chance to get to know all about one another, and assuming the dates are mostly outside of the castle, we'll be able to approach each other much more as equals!"

He raised an eyebrow at her enthusiasm, though his lips were twitching into an expression dangerously close to a smile.

"I'm glad you approve," he commented blandly.

"Approve? Severus, do you know how nervous I've been about marrying a virtual stranger? Yes, I know a bit more about you than a person off the street, but I mean, I don't even know your full name! All it listed in your class book was 'Severus Snape,' and I've recently found that the class books are highly unreliable for giving any valuable personal information whatsoever. Do you even have a middle name?"

He looked nonplused for a moment before he stood and drew himself up to his full height. Bowing genteelly, he said, "Severus Xavier Onassis Snape at your service, Madam."

"Xavier Onassis?" Hermione asked, trying to keep her voice steady and her face straight. When he nodded, looking slightly defensive, she decided not to ask whether his parents had had a grudge against him. Instead, she stuck out her hand and said, "I look forward to our first date, Mr. Snape."

His lips quirked up again as he took her hand, and bowing deeply while keeping his eyes locked on hers, he placed a chaste kiss on the back of her hand. Hermione suddenly felt breathless and wondered whether the temperature in the room had gone up by a few degrees.

Rising, he continued holding her tingling hand while gazing deep into her eyes.

"I look forward to it as well," he replied gently.

The door unlocked, and they knew they were free.

End Part 1

---

AN: I chose his middle names for two reason. First, imagine the indignity of being a man like Snape and having XO (hug and kiss) as your middle initials! Second, say the names out loud. Very suitable for our dubious hero, don't you think? Credit goes to "The Prairie Home Companion" radio show for that bit of inspiration.

As you might have noted above, this is the end of the first part of this story, effectively making it the end of act two (act one being "Marry A Choice").

In the next part, we will see how our couple fares on their dates, why Vector is giving Hermione the cold shoulder, how Teddy really feels about Hermione, and what's up with Harry and Ginny, among other trivial details.

Though it isn't complete, this story will be on hiatus for a while to give my muse some time to recharge. So, if there's a question you want answered in the story, now is the time to ask. Thanks, as always, to SW for her time and effort in betaing this. :-)

Till next time, fare thee well!

~Averygoodun