HogwartsClassof91 - Supernova Seeker

The IQC tournament had everyone at the Ministry working overtime, so Hermione wasn't terribly surprised to find the bound Saturnian still waiting outside her flat, shimmering beneath a Disillusionment Charm. No doubt some trainee Aurors would be along soon to collect him.

It was just as well. Questions had been piling into her mind from the moment she'd communicated with the Saturnian beauty in Kingsley's office.

She approached her erstwhile burglar and ignored the impatient sigh that came from one of the men following her...Lucius, most likely. Waiting would do him good. He and his not-so-silent partner seemed far too eager to gain access to her flat, anyway. A heightened sense of anticipation could only benefit her later.

She stopped before the Saturnian and began the same sequence of spells that had just recently allowed her to experience telepathy.

"Surely this can wait?" said Severus.

"I must know why he tried to steal my kitten," she said. "He may have had something to do with Percy's abduction, as well."

"Perhaps all Saturnians are just thieves," said Lucius.

The Saturnian raised one bushy eyebrow and spoke in perfect English. "Such statements only highlight the ignorance of Terrans."

Hermione lowered her wand. She'd dealt with enough planetary delegates lately to recognize the VIPs: not only were they capable of human speech, their diction put that of her compatriots to shame. She sent a warning look at Lucius before she spoke. "I am certain my friend did not intend to traduce your planet or its occupants."

His gaze flicked to Lucius, and for a moment his eyes glowed red. Then, despite the full Body-Bind, he seemed to draw himself up taller. "My affiliation with Saturn is inconsequential. Far more important is my role as leader of the most noble organization in the galaxy."

"Let me guess," said Hermione. "The Committee to Undermine the Nations of Terra."

He turned his haughty expression to her. "Our name commands respect throughout the universe. You cannot fathom the power of the C.U.N.T."

"Oh, I have an inkling." Her cough hid the snickers of Severus and Lucius. "Why did you kidnap Percy Weasley?"

"A miscalculation," he replied. "We believed you would negotiate for the return of your most celebrated and venerated hero."

No cough could hide the men's mirth now. "A miscalculation of galactic proportions," agreed Severus.

"So you returned Percy and stole my kitten instead?" she asked. Something in the way he glared at her before turning murderous red eyes to the men made the wheels in her head spin. "Wait a minute...you were going to blame the theft on them, weren't you?"

His agreement took the form of a sneer.

"Then you were the one who sabotaged Team Mercury's opponents!" she said.

The red eyes cooled to violet. His chin lifted, as if he were proud to be accused of such crimes.

"You released the flock of Snidgets during the match against Venus." She jabbed her finger at him. "And you sent Kneazles to the Neptunians knowing full well I'd suspect Lucius. You must have known I'd suspect Severus, as well, when you used his Ego Inflatus potion in Team Jupiter's chocolates."

"Er..." interrupted Lucius. "Actually, that last bit was my doing."

"What?" said Hermione and Severus in unison.

He had the grace to look mildly repentant. "I wanted to ensure our delightful visits continued."

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned back to the Saturnian. "You were responsible for the Snidgets and Kneazles, though, weren't you?" When he remained silent, she shrugged and said, "Right. I'll just fetch my probity probe, and we'll see how long you can lie about..."

"I have no wish to deny your accusations," he said.

"Good." She frowned. "Then explain why you tried to frame Team Mercury."

"After careful research, the Hermionegranger subject was identified as a strident proponent of justice, as well as an individual with ample cause to dislike Team Mercury. You were the ideal candidate to dismantle their business."

"Okay." Although logical, it still didn't answer her question. "But for what purpose?"

"For our ultimate purpose!" he said. "The collapse of Terran society. We have studied your history extensively. The smallest disagreements often result in the destruction of even the most stable populations. It takes very little to ignite a Terran conflict. And you are never more efficient at annihilation than when the fighting is localized." He smiled. "I believe your term is civil war. We, on the alternate hand, refer to it as bonus time."

"That's disgusting," she said.

"That is the nature of Terrans," he spat back. "It is only a matter of time before you eliminate yourselves entirely. Everyone knows this."

Severus stepped forward. "Then why not leave us to our own devices and let nature run its course?"

"We no longer have the luxury of time. You reside upon the richest, most bountiful planet in the galaxy, yet you do nothing but abuse it. We cannot risk its further destruction. You no longer deserve Earth."

To some extent, she knew he was right. The alternative he'd proposed, however, could hardly be considered a panacea. "Look, I'll be the first to admit we've buggered the planet thus far, but we're working to change all that. There are environmental sanctions and..."

"Too little, too late!" His eyes flashed red then orange, twin pools of roiling lava. "You have lost the right to steward this planet. Upon your extinction, others will gladly take your place. The Saturnians are eager for a view of the sun unimpeded by rings. Venusians long for a lighter atmosphere. And Martians have always been envious of anything blue."

She shook her head. "I cannot believe this."

"I am not surprised. Terrans refuse to acknowledge the truth, even when it is irrefutable. You prefer to worship myths and spin fairy tales."

"Not all Terrans," she said.

He seemed unconvinced. "Even when you admit a problem exists, you waste your time pointing your digits, blaming your neighbors for its cause. Terrans know nothing of solutions."

She tried to recall the first words he'd spoken to them. "Such statements only highlight your ignorance," she said. "And that of your C.U.N.T."

His lips peeled back from his teeth. "Mark my words, Hermionegranger. You grow weaker with each passing Earth year."

"I'll take it under advisement." She turned to Lucius and Severus. "I suppose we'd best print more of those 'United We Stand, Divided We Fall' bumper stickers."

The Saturnian shouted at her retreating back, his voice rising so high it rattled the windows. "You shall not survive the next decade!" A trail of spittle ran down his chin. "Your so-called advancements and technology only create more distance. Soon Terrans will not even remember how to vocalize speech to one another!"

A pop heralded the arrival of two harried-looking young Aurors. "Sorry we're late," said one over the continued ranting of the Saturnian.

"Be extra cautious with him," Hermione warned. "In addition to burgling my flat, he is responsible for the abduction of Percy Weasley ... and a somewhat convoluted plot to eliminate the population of Earth."

The Aurors straightened. "Yes, ma'am!" They secured their prisoner with additional bindings and Disapparated from sight.

The silence was a relief. Hermione sighed. "In some way, I suppose it's comforting to know zealotry exists throughout the galaxy. I would hate to think we'd invented it."

Severus's lips quirked. "You need a drink." He gestured to the front door of her building.

"Or perhaps a massage," offered Lucius.

"Perhaps both," she said and led them into her flat. She poured generous amounts of Firewhiskey into three tumblers, then perched on the arm of her sofa.

Severus scowled at Lucius.

Lucius licked his lips.

"Now, then," she began, "despite your relatively advantageous positions at present, you are both in quite a bit of trouble."

Both men spoke at once. "Trouble?" They cast surreptitious glances at one another.

She could almost hear their minds whirring. Speculating. Plotting.

Her glass clinked onto the table, the first sound to break the silence. She strolled to Severus first. "You, sir, will have to be punished severely for cheating on that crossword puzzle." Her fingers slowly opened the many buttons of his shirt but stopped at the band of his trousers.

He grunted. His hands skimmed her hips, pulled her closer.

Lucius approached them, obviously not willing to be excluded. She whirled and pinned him against the wall. "And you, my dear man, are in a most precarious position for having tampered with that match against Team Jupiter." For the sake of fairness, she began to unfasten his shirt, as well.

Severus cleared his throat. "I believe Lucius has other matters that demand his immediate attention."

Lucius appeared to disagree. His fingers slid beneath her jumper, teased the sides of her breasts. "Weren't you listening to the Saturnian?" he asked Severus. "All that tripe he spouted about the strength of unity?"

"I recall his mentioning weakness," he replied.

Lucius winked at Hermione. "Trust Severus to focus on the negative," he said.

"Not at all," Severus replied quickly. "I was merely trying to spare you the embarrassment of having arrived without your Performance Enhancer potion."

Lucius merely smiled and dipped his head to Hermione's ear. "Pay him no attention, my dear. The boy was never taught to share. Rather tragic, really." The tip of his tongue traced the curve of her ear.

She shuddered. Her body shifted forward, pressed against a rock-hard erection. There would be no need for performance enhancers tonight.

Desire coiled deep inside her, a tightly wound spring that trembled for release. She pulled away before it sprang of its own accord. Her legs were made from rubber, but they carried her to the bedroom. She stood just inside the doorway and gazed back at the men.

"Since you own a Quidditch team together, you must be fond of sports," she said. "How does a bit of friendly competition sound?"

"Sounds quite promising to me," said Lucius. He took several slow steps toward her, then raised a questioning brow at Severus. "The first man to pleasure the witch wins?"

Severus frowned but stepped forward. "Too easy. A test of endurance would be a far better method to showcase carnal prowess."

"You underestimate the appeal of finesse and style."

"And you lack the patience for proper stamina."

"Afraid to pit your skills against mine?"

"Afraid you cannot keep ... up?"

Hermione chuckled. Their gazes swung back to her, their argument abandoned the instant she tossed aside her jumper. By the time her skirt pooled around her feet, neither man seemed capable of speech.

Clad only in bra and knickers, she crawled, cat-like, onto her bed and smiled. "Let the games begin," she said.

And so they did.

Many thanks to Karelia for the beta pass!

Reviews are always appreciated...never more so than now, as this is the final chapter and your last chance to give us some points love!

Words used: tripe, traduce, probity probe.

Word count: 1795