sunny33 - Asteroid Beater

As his business partner refilled their glasses with a fine Chateau Margaux, Severus sidled closer to the fireplace. A blur of movement later and he had captured the brightly coloured beetle lurking amidst the fleur-de-lys pattern on the wallpaper above the mantel.

"What have we here?" he asked as he examined the struggling insect.

"Stop tormenting the creature and try this wine, Severus," Lucius demanded, holding aloft the glass glowing incarnadine in the stream of sunlight from the window. He turned and glanced at his friend. "What is your fascination with the slimy and sticky creatures of this world? I suppose you want to collect it for your laboratory."

"I believe this may be a somewhat pathetic specimen of a Lesser-Spotted Falsidicus Veneficus. They are useful in some potions, but the effort required to extract the useful components is hardly worth it," Severus explained as he prodded the now desperate beetle's underbelly. "One has to carefully peel the carapace from the specimen, then drop the remains into strong acid to deactivate the potentially poisonous residue. Of course, I could simply squash the thing."

"Now, now, Severus. Just toss it out of the window. I'll place an Insect-Repelling Charm on the doors and windows, and we shall not be bothered again."

"If I must," Severus grumbled as he flung the beetle unceremoniously outside.

Pausing briefly in the outer office, Draco flung off his gloves in disgust. How could he prove himself as a brilliant Seeker if his opponents were always incapacitated? Team Neptune's replacement Seeker had been a poor substitute for the challenge he had anticipated from Sauterbaum. About to enter the inner sanctum, his hand stayed as he heard his father speak.

"Now, Severus. Are you planning to tell what that was all about, or do I need to ply you with more of the contents of my wine cellar?"

"That beetle, my dear friend, was more of a pest than you realise. The inimitable Rita Skeeter in Animagus form and assiduously spying as is her wont."

"But for whom? You know none of the major newspapers and magazines will employ her since that fiasco involving Celestine Warbeck and Lockhart. She lost all credibility with the drivel she wrote then."

"I suspect her employer is not a member of the press, but someone who stands to gain from knowledge of our business."

"The same someone who is trying to set us up as cheats in this competition?"

"The very same. Hence my comments regarding Granger. Speaking of which, I must commend you on your immediate understanding of my ploy."

"But what were you trying to achieve, Severus? If this person is attempting to undermine our credibility, how does acting the guilty party aid our cause?"

"Confusion, Lucius. Let them think we are happy with their manipulations, and they will become careless. Sooner or later, they will leave us a clue to their identity. And besides, Granger will be unable to resist the challenge of uncovering our guilt, although there are other things I'd rather she uncovered."

"Hear, hear. A toast to the delectable Miss Granger."

"Miss Granger!"

Draco's dismay at the threat to his parent's reputation was overcome by astonishment at the lascivious direction in which the conversation had turned. Hermione Granger an object of desire? For his father? For Snape? For both together? What would his mother say?

"Don't just stand there, son. Come in and celebrate your victory!"

His father's voice pierced his bubble of indecision as he wavered on the brink of leaving without announcing his presence. Assuming the expected cocky expression, Draco joined his team managers in a new toast to team Mercury and the vagaries of Madam Fortune.

"Those bloody Slytherins! If they think they can get away with this, they'll be sadly mistaken!" Hermione ranted as she scooped up the pile of letters of complaint and accusation smothering her desk. Pointing her wand at the window, she blocked entry to any further owls and likewise warded the fireplace. Team Mercury's managers were about to discover how unwise it was to upset a certain Gryffindor witch.

The match that afternoon had been a pure farce. Team Jupiter, always known for their relentless self-aggrandisement, had surpassed themselves in a display reminiscent of the worst moments of Caligula's reign. Whilst inured to such behaviour by virtue of association with Quidditch players in general, Hermione was aware Beaters trying to score goals with the Bludgers and Chasers flying into the stadium grandstand to sign autographs during the game was simply not normal. The fine aerobatic display Ichbinein Figjam put on for his adoring fans was hardly uncharacteristic, but ignoring the Snitch flying around his head was suspicious to say the least.

Attempts to interview the players after the match, easily won by none other than team Mercury, revealed only a pre-game gift of chocolates, the last of which, and only evidence, having been eaten by the now disgraced blue-spotted kneazle kitten lurking under her desk.

Grasping the incriminating scroll in her hand, she left her office and Apparated to the stadium to find her quarry.

"Miss Granger. What a pleasure it is to see you again so soon. Do come in," Lucius purred, a gleam of something as yet undetermined in his eyes.

"The pleasure will be all mine, bringing you two to justice." She tossed the scroll onto the large desk behind which Severus Snape sat. "Ego Inflatus. Heard of it, Snape?"

"If you have that scroll, you know damned well I invented it, Granger. What of it?"

"The members of team Jupiter were clearly dosed with Ego Inflatus this afternoon, causing them to lose the match. I have read the instructions for the brewing of that potion. Only the most skilled Potions masters can manage the complexity of the process. Someone such as you, Snape."

Severus's smile was disconcerting. "While I appreciate the compliment, Granger, there are several other Potions masters who could brew the potion."

"Yes. In Asia and South America. And the potion does not travel well. Forgive me for assuming the obvious. Now, do I have your permission to search these offices, or shall I report this to the Ministry? I believe that potion is restricted to medicinal use only." Hands on hips, Hermione glared at the two apparently unconcerned wizards.

"Feel free, Miss Granger. We have nothing to hide." Lucius waved his hand around the office, inviting her scrutiny as he and Severus left the room.

Twenty minutes later a dishevelled witch emerged, bearing only a small vial containing a bright blue liquid.

"Performance Enhancer, Mr Malfoy?"

Severus snorted as his friend's arrogant smirk faded.

"Er... that was not supposed to be in there. But it's not illegal. Even we Malfoys are subject to stress occasionally, and since the divorce..."

"I'm not interested in your sexual difficulties, Malfoy, just your obvious difficulty with telling the truth. This is not over. Expect to hear from me again soon." She turned on her heel, hair and robes flying, and left the two men to contemplate their team's precarious future in the Intergalactic Quidditch League.

Lucius moved somewhat awkwardly over to the desk where Hermione had deposited the vial of potion. With a flick, he disposed of the vial and its contents.

"Well, I won't be needing that any longer," he declared.

Severus cast his eyes over his friend's lean form and smirked. "I'm pleased it's not just me she has that effect on."

"You too?"

Severus nodded his rueful agreement.

Hermione stepped outside and briefly leaned against the wall as she gathered her scattered thoughts. Unsure which of the two men had unsettled her so, she sighed and looked up to find an oddly contemplative Draco Malfoy before her.

"Er... Granger," he began. "May I have a moment of your time?"

A Malfoy behaving diffidently was almost as disturbing as the mention of Lucius and sex in the same sentence had been a few minutes earlier. Nothing good could ever come of it.

"Yes, Draco. How can I help you? I don't suppose you have a sudden urge to confess all and save me a load of paperwork, do you?"

"You don't understand. My father... he's being framed. Someone is deliberately causing trouble and making it look like we are responsible. You may not realise, Granger, but we have worked damned hard to get our Quidditch team recognised in the Intergalactic League and have been winning matches over the last twelve months on merit alone. Father and Severus have us practising endlessly and have hired the best coaches to get us to where we are." His usually perfect coiffure bore evidence of his distress as he ran his hands through his hair once again.

"You know what it was like after Voldemort fell. No-one wanted to associate with us. The only reason I play for the Mercurians is because no-one here would even allow me to try out for a team. Why would we undermine all our efforts to regain respectability by cheating now?"

"Forgive me if I'm sceptical, Draco, but your family has rarely seemed to need justification for their behaviour in the past," Hermione replied. "Do you have any evidence you are being set up? Why has your father not insisted upon an enquiry? I know Sev... er Snape suggested malfeasance on someone else's part after the first match, but surely if they were innocent, they would be more proactive about finding the culprit?"

"I know. It looks bad, but I happened to overhear a conversation between father and Severus two days ago. I think they are trying to flush out the person behind this themselves. From what I heard, they believed you would be more likely to pursue the case if you thought they were the guilty parties."

Hermione studied the young wizard's face for a few moments as he described the circumstances in which he obtained his information. For the first time since she had met him so many years previously at Hogwarts, he appeared genuinely sincere.

"But what if you are being played, Draco? How do you know they weren't fully aware you were outside the door and staged that conversation deliberately, knowing you would come to me with your concerns, thus casting doubt over my investigation?" For one moment she felt ashamed as she saw the fleeting hurt in his eyes before he stiffened his back and forced a laugh.

"Granger, that's so convoluted it makes my brain hurt. Even we Slytherins are not that devious. Besides, encouraging you to continue to work on this case wouldn't help them if they were behind the incidents."

"Possibly. But I will still reserve judgement. Rest assured, Draco, I will not rest until those behind this are exposed and suitably punished. Preferably painfully and slowly. You had better hope your father is innocent, because if he isn't, he'll need more than a Performance Enhancing potion."

"A Performance Enhancing potion? As if my father would ever need that!"

Draco shook his head in wonder at the very suggestion of a Malfoy being less than virile as he walked away from a reluctantly smiling Hermione Granger.

A/N: Thanks to ladyinthecloak for checking this.

Falsidicus Venificus = lying witch.

Keywords used: incarnadine, laboratory, assiduous(ly), mother, inure(d), Hogwarts. I couldn't find a spot for sartorial.

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