Part 8

Part Eight – Severus

I look around to make certain that nothing is out of place, not that I should care. Potter's rooms are a mess most of the time, as his kids toss their things about just as much as he does. I've never invited him here before and am not sure why I've done so tonight. I expect it's only fair that I should be the one to host our evening for once. I allowed Amber to close the shop alone and left early for the first time. Once she locks the door, my wards will activate.

The afternoon was spent preparing roast and potatoes for our meal, and I Apparated over to the wine shop I like in Metairie for a bottle of their finest elf-made wine. I happened upon it by accident once and was delighted to find that one of the owners is a witch. I've not bought any from anyone else since. I'm sure Potter will enjoy it, considering what he drinks. Hmm, perhaps I should have bought some of that Budweiser he likes so much. Maybe the wine isn't something he likes much, else he would have it at his home.

Hang on a minute. Why do I care? It's not like this is a date or anything. This gives me pause, and I sit down heavily. That's exactly how I've been approaching this evening. I look at the table and gasp: candles, a setting for two, chilled wine.

"Good Lord," I mutter and hurry towards the table to take away the candles. Just as I reach it, I hear the telltale buzzing that means someone is waiting at my gate to be let in. I quickly put the candles on the stand near the balcony doors and try to push away the embarrassment I feel over absently preparing a candlelit dinner for Potter. That surely would have sent him running.

And for some reason that discomfits me. I've been enjoying my time with him. It's been so long since I've had someone in my life this way. I don't want to give him the wrong impression. I want to keep him in my life, even when he returns home. Exchanging letters will definitely be in order. I might even consider taking a holiday to see his family, as I've become fond of them...especially little Lily.

I open the wooden door and say, "Hello."

"Bout time," Potter says, smirking as he enters. "Nice place," he adds as he makes his way out into my courtyard, taking in the numerous plants and flowers I've got planted and hanging about.

"Thanks." I swell with pride. When I've had visitors in the past...to my home on Spinner's End that is...I always felt shame that they would see the state of my home (it being rundown), but now, for the first time, I can be proud of what I have and how I've shaped it into something I enjoy. "Magic helps me keep everything up of course."

"Still, though, I think Sprout would be right jealous of all this."

"She's retired now, isn't she?"

"Yep. Did McGonagall tell you about her replacement?"

"Longbottom! I can't believe it."

"He's come a long way."

"You know," I say, guiding him to the doorway of my flat, "I shouldn't say that about him. During the year that I was headmaster, he took your place as the little ringleader, and he did well. You should have seen some of the things he did to the Carrows. It's no wonder they sent someone after Augusta."

"His Gran is still kicking around, too. When he married Hannah, she made a speech about how proud she was of Neville and how he'd done so much that his parents would have approved of." Harry grins. "I've never seen him happier. I think that's all he wanted all his life...to prove himself to her."

I nod. "It's what most of us want."

"Yeah," he agrees. "What's all this?" He points to the table, running a finger along the set silverware.

I am certainly glad that I got rid of the candles. "This, Potter, is called proper dining."

"Say, you don't like eating off of trays at my place?"

"You should learn to use your table. You do realize that's what they are made for, right?"

He laughs loudly. "I'll have to remind the kids. It's hard without Kreacher here to help us."

"Depending on your poor house-elf? What would Miss Granger say about that?" I motion for him to seat himself and sit in my chair. I lift the lid off of the first dish. "Roast."

"Mmmm. Smells great."

As we serve ourselves, we remain quiet, appreciating the aroma. My hand brushes his as we both reach for the ladle in the gravy. "Pardon."

"Go ahead."

"No, you can. I'll pour the wine."

"All right."

It isn't the first time that our fingers brush, and yet, I felt the same jolt of heat as before. What does this mean? Am I growing a bit fonder of Potter than I should be? Interesting. I finally have a friend, even though it's him...someone I once deplored, and it seems as though I'm becoming attached... in the wrong way. Am I so lonely and desperate?

"Snape?"

"Sorry?"

"I asked how you had time to cook all this."

"Oh, I took off early."

"You didn't have to do that, mate." He smiles. "But I appreciate it all the same."

"You should have at least one home cooked meal while on holiday, and I didn't mind doing it. There's never much occasion to prepare such a feast, living alone and all. I enjoyed it."

I'm taken aback by his next words.

"I'm going to miss you, Snape, when we leave. Miss this." He gestures between us. "Back home... there's no one to..."

Wanting to break up the awkward moment, I say, "I know what you mean. How's the wine?"

"Great."

I launch into my tale of how I found its makers in order to keep things running smoothly, and just as I finish, the lights flicker. "Does that during all the thunderstorms," I say, "but it doesn't usually..." My words are lost as the power cuts off completely.

"Go off?" he offers with a light laugh.

Sighing, I grab my wand, flick it, and say, "Accio candles." They fly to my outstretched hand and I light them quickly.

"Candles at the ready, eh?" he asks, eyes glinting. "Careful, Snape. I might think you've planned this. I mean, really, do you only use Muggle electricity?"

"I use both," I say defensively, knowing that my cheeks are heating, humiliated that he nearly guessed what I'd done earlier with the candles. I watch his eyes, mesmerized by the way the flames of the candles reflect in them. They're so beautiful.

"What are you thinking?" he asks, breaking my concentration.

"Nothing really. Just that... I am glad we're friends." I hadn't meant to say that but blurted it out when I couldn't grasp at anything better to say. There is no way that I'd ever admit what I'd truly been thinking.

He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand. "Me too."

Then he goes back to eating his dinner as if nothing had just happened between us. My heartbeat says otherwise. It's in this moment that I fully realize that I fancy Harry Potter. It's a little horrifying, as I used to love his mother a great deal and will always have her in my heart, but it's also invigorating. My life suddenly seems less dim.

"Harry, that day when we talked about Albus Severus and Scorpius..."

"Yes?"

"Are you so accepting of it because, and this is only hypothetical, you have felt that way about someone of the same sex before? Draco perhaps? Weasley?"

He puts down his fork and takes a deep breath. "At one time I was a little obsessed with Draco Malfoy, back in my sixth year to be honest, but I never felt for him what Al feels for Scorpius. It's different."

"I see. And there were no others?"

"I mean, I've found some men attractive, but..."

"Who? What men?"

"Well, Ludo Bagman was nice looking when I first met him."

"That tosser?"

He smirks. "The only person from my school time that I found attractive in that way was Cedric Diggory. Not Ron or any of the others."

So I never made his list of attractive males then. It's just as well. It's not like anything could ever come from my newfound feelings.

"Since then there hasn't really been anyone. I only had eyes for Ginny to be honest, but..."

"But?"

He shifts in his seat, obviously uncomfortable. "What about you, Snape? You didn't seem to approve at first."

"I told you that I have nothing against anyone who plays on any particular side of the pitch. I was just surprised, that's all."

"Answer the question."

"I can't say that I've ever found men appealing. I met and adored Lily from a very young age. Most of my life it's just been her."

"Oh." His expression drops slightly before he plasters a smile onto his face. "This is for us then, Snape." He lifts his glass of wine. "To moving on."

I lift mine and let it chink against his. "To moving on," I say, agreeing completely.

After a moment, he softly says, eyes looking away, "I have a confession."

"And that is?"

"I, uh, I find you attractive, Snape." He holds up his hand. "Don't throw me out just yet. Let me finish." When I don't move (because I'm stunned actually), he continues. "I don't know if it's because we've been spending so much time together or what, but for the first time since Ginny, it just feels like something important is going on."

The breath leaves my chest slowly. What could I say to him? He's just said what I long to hear, and yet, I can't allow him to waste himself on me. One of us would have to relocate, and I don't know that if either of us would be willing to do that. In the end, it would just be a disaster. I, Severus Snape, can move to another country and live peacefully, but Harry Potter would be followed.

"Harry," I say, using his given name for the first time, "I am more flattered than I can convey."

He smiles and his eyes find mine. "Say no more. Let's not ruin what we have. Fair enough?"

"You... you'll find someone again."

"I doubt that," he says with a sigh. "I'm not really looking anyway. I didn't mean for this to happen. Albus Severus was right."

"What did he say?"

"He asked how I felt about you. I told him that it was just friendship, and I've been confused about it since then. I think it is a little more than that though." He sips his wine and is lost in thought for a minute.

I finally break the silence. "Do you want to take the kids to see Lake Pontchartrain tomorrow? It's quite large, the second largest salt water lake in the United States in fact, and there are some manatees in there, according to the girl who works for me anyway. She and her boyfriend spotted them the other day."

"Well, maybe. I'm not sure what the kids want to do."

"They're endangered. I'd just like to put a little warding around them so that anyone who might want to do them harm will become distracted."

"All right then. I'll talk to them about it."

"Excellent. There are boat rentals on the North Shore that aren't very pricey."

"Sounds fun. I think Al would really enjoy that actually."

"It's settled then."

Another day with Potter and his family is what I need. I will long for them once they return home, and I will always wonder what might have been if I had only confessed the way I've started to feel for him. Until then, I can secretly pretend that they are my family and enjoy myself. My satisfaction will come in knowing that for once in my life, I could have exactly what I wanted had I only said the word.

AN: Thanks go to beaweasley2 and rdholmantx for reading over this.