Part 4

Part Four – Harry

I've seen enough. Severus Snape is alive. Last night, I barely slept at all. Memories of our past haunted me when I did try to sleep. All of these years I've wished that I'd done a lot of things differently where he's concerned. I've longed to have a chance to make things right with him, to ask him about my mother. When he 'died,' the last link to my parents died with him.

And here he bloody is, alive and well in New Fucking Orleans, Louisiana. He survived somehow and fled the country. Why wouldn't he want us to know he's alive? He's a hero for Merlin's sake! He is to me anyway.

I can feel the bitterness and the anger warring with the shock and excitement that he's alive. I want to hit him, hurt him, and yet, I want to... Enough.

"I didn't drop dung on anybody," I say, smirking as he turns around, wand drawn, scanning the room. I've yet to take off my cloak, and the first thing that came to mind was the comment he made to the lady about me...in my Animagus form...when I was on the lamppost earlier.

His eyes are narrowed, and his skin...which finally looks a healthy shade-turns as white as snow. "Show yourself!" he hisses.

This sounds more like the Snape I remember. I was convinced at first that the man, Samael, was some doppelganger or one of those twins that everyone says we have in some part of the world, but the more I've stayed here, the more his true identity became obvious. His hair is a bit longer and healthier...or cleaner...than I remember, but it is otherwise the same, not a single grey lock that I can see. And he's finally put on a bit of weight, not much, mind, but his face isn't as gaunt as it once was.

"All right. Steady with that wand," I say, and I know that he recognizes my voice. I can see it in his eyes, and I wonder if maybe he hadn't already known somehow. Did he already know that Lily and Albus Severus are my children? Maybe he's kept in contact with our world.

"Potter." Disbelief laces his voice, and his wand doesn't lower.

I let my cloak slip away. "Didn't think I'd need this on holiday," I say with a shrug, not sure where to begin.

"Who sent you? The Ministry?"

"Put your wand down."

"Why should I? What are you here for, Potter?"

I raise my hands. "My wand's in my pocket. I just want to talk."

"So it was an Animagus today! I thought so. That starling, you, watched me too closely!"

"When I realized you were suspicious, I thought it best that I leave."

"You haven't answered my question."

His glare chills me and makes me wonder if I've made the right decision. "How did you survive?"

"Answer," he steps forward, "my," his wand shakes slightly, "question."

"My family, we're here on holiday."

"You just happen to be here? In this part of America?" He sneers. "Forgive me if I don't believe that. Who sent you?"

"Nobody sent me, Snape," I say bitterly. "I just wanted to go someplace where my family could be... normal. Hermione had some pamphlets of Wizarding communities. McGonagall told her about the school system here, how it's sort of like Hogwarts, and well, you know Hermione, she never forgets anything about education."

"Minerva... that..." His wand lowers, but he still looks angry.

"My daughter..."

"Lily," he interrupts.

I nod. "Yes, I just wanted to find the man who'd tried to help her. Albus Severus told me where..."

"What did you say?"

"My kids told me where you were when you helped her, and I thought maybe I'd look you up."

"Albus Severus?"

I smile then, realizing what he's getting at. "I named him after Dumbledore... and you. How could I not?"

"But Minerva said your son's name was James Sirius."

"She knows you're alive?" I ask incredulously. What the hell is this shite? Why would she tell Hermione about this place knowing Snape's been here all this while?

"Yes. She found me years ago and tried to fill me in on all the details of your life once we began exchanging letters."

"So that's why you didn't seem all that shocked to see me? You recognized my kids?"

"No, I didn't know you had them. I only knew about the first child. I told Minerva I didn't care for her to talk about you, and she's not said anything since. I just deduced..."

"Oh. I see." My heart drops at this. The fantasies of getting to know him and having long talks about the past die as I realize he will never want any sort of friendship with me.

"I just want my peace. I am content here, Potter, and I would appreciate it," here it sounds like he's choking, "if you forget you saw me."

"There's so much I want to ask. How'd you come to be here? Why are you hiding away? You're a hero, Snape."

"A hero?" His laugh is bitter, and he walks by me to go to his counter. "I did what I had to do, that's all, nothing more. All right?" He gestures about the room. "I am here because I thought no one would ever think to look here for me. Lucius came back to check on me after you left. He knew that I'd taken precautions and realized that I'd only slipped into a coma-like state and administered Blood-Replenishing Potion to me."

"I questioned him myself. He thought you to be dead."

"I... Obliviated the memory from him."

"Well, as much as I hate to say it, Malfoy was shaken up about it. He must have been a true friend." I feel suddenly angry, and it's not just in Malfoy's defense either. "How could you do that to him? To someone you obviously cared about? You just took off and left without a word! We would have welcomed you back as a hero!"

"It's for the best."

I notice he's toying with his wand and have the suspicion he's thinking of Obliviating me as well. "Don't even think about it," I say, my wand is out and pointed at him before the sentence is even finished.

"Get out of my shop. Forget you saw me here."

"If that's what you want."

"It is."

A sigh escapes me as I can see I've lost. "All right. I just... Thank you for everything you did for me back then."

"It wasn't for you."

"Yeah, I know," I say with a nod. "I appreciate it all the same. When you died, after I saw those memories you gave me, it made me wish that things had been different. I've always regretted not telling you how much you meant to us all...everything you did for us. And..."

My voice fades as I search for the right words. I can see him trying to keep the surprise from his expression, so at least he's listening to me.

"And thanks for loving my mum so much. I'm sure... I'm sure she cared for you, too, even in the end. If you hadn't asked Riddle to spare her, she wouldn't have been able to protect me, and in the long run, we never would have won, Snape." I turn away from him, pick up my cloak, and walk to the door. "I won't tell anyone that you're here, but if you ever want to talk, I'd like that."

He says nothing as I leave, much to my disappointment.

Part Four – Severus

Never in a million years did I think that Potter would really be here. It was just a passing thought, but my first instinct was right. Shite. And where is the urge to flee? Why do I trust him to keep his word?

Those words he spoke, they felt honest to me. But how? I thought that Potter would hate me more than ever after he found out the true relationship I had with his mother. Is it possible that he's not the arrogant, spoiled boy I've always thought him to be? I already know the answer to this, having visited this conversation in my mind more than once over the years.

I never really gave him a chance when he went to Hogwarts. He looked so much like his father that I never expected anything more of him. And I resented the fact that Lily chose death... because of him. Selfish, I know, but she could have lived if she'd only stood aside. What Potter said, though, makes sense. It's true. If the Dark Lord hadn't tried to spare her...at my request...then she wouldn't have chosen death instead of giving up her child; she would have just been killed the way James had been dispatched, as if she were nothing. Her choice enabled the old magic to activate.

Green eyes flash through my mind: Lily's, Harry's, Albus Severus'.

My God. Potter's named one of his children after me. If that doesn't back up his words, nothing will. He wants to talk to me. It would be nice to actually have someone to talk to. Minerva is my one connection to my old world, but here's another one before me. I think of the beautiful young girl, named for her grandmother, and I feel a smile grace my lips.

The girl's words come to mind. Her mother is dead. I sit down with a thump on a nearby stool. How had Ginny Weasley died? Maybe Potter understands the need for a new start more than I give him credit for. He and I have both lost someone we've loved...both lovely women with long red hair.

But am I man enough to let the past go in order to start a friendship? That's something that I need to delve into myself to answer before I make any moves.