Catharsis

A/N: Warning: This chapter contains scenes of assault, abuse, rape and reference to character death.

Kleenex for the sensitive amongst you

Hermione awoke in her bed. She looked around the room slowly and sighed to herself. Severus had obviously been cleaning. She stretched a little and slipped her legs from under the covers, padding across the room and into her lounge. She saw him look up from the couch, and he went to stand.

‘Sit down, Severus. I’m fine. Really.’ She smiled softly at him. ‘Was I sleeping long?’

Severus looked up at her. ‘About an hour, that’s all. Are you sure you’re okay?’ His face showed his concern, and Hermione walked over and sat beside him, putting her hand gently on her knee.

‘I’m fine. Really. Thank you for cleaning my room. I’m ashamed it got into the state it did,’ she murmured.

‘It explained why your gentlemen friends never made it as far as the bedroom, anyway.’ His mouth twitched, and Hermione’s eyes sparkled a little.

‘No one asked you to watch,’ she said, smiling at him a little.

Severus blushed slightly and looked down at her hand on his knee. ‘True,’ he muttered.

‘I’m glad you did, Severus. I think I was killing myself.’ Hermione turned her haunted gaze onto his face as he looked into her eyes.

‘What do you want to do now, Hermione? We can try again if you feel strong enough?’ he asked her softly.

Hermione shook her head vehemently. ‘No. I don’t want you to see the rest of it.’

‘But,’ Severus started, but Hermione’s fingers on his lips silenced him.

‘I will tell you what happened. I think you are right about my needing to share it, so I’ll tell you. Okay?’

Severus looked at her and realised this was the most determined he had seen her. It made his heart glad to see a glimpse of the old Hermione and he smiled at her.

‘Whatever you think is best,’ he concurred, and she rewarded him with a warm smile of her own.

‘I think I need a drink, first.’ Hermione stood and Severus grabbed her hand firmly. She turned and looked down at him, registering the look on his face. She smiled at him wryly.

‘I meant a cup of tea,’ she said, smiling sadly, ‘would you like one?’

Severus sighed and rubbed his hand across his face. ‘Yes, please. Tea. I’m sorry.’

‘Don’t be. I don’t expect you to trust me after I Stunned you and crawled into a bottle of whisky.’ She flashed him a smile and walked into the kitchen. He had been busy in here too, and she popped her head around the door to look at him, grinning. ‘You can stay forever if you want to keep cleaning like this!’

Severus watched as she disappeared, a small smile twitching at his mouth.

Hermione walked back into the lounge with two steaming mugs of tea, handed one to Severus, and sat herself beside him, tucking her feet beneath her and hooking her hair behind her ears in a gesture Severus hadn’t seen for a long time.

‘You used to do that all the time,’ he murmured, ‘push your hair behind your ears. Infernal curls, always falling loose when you were bent over your cauldron. I’m surprised you didn’t contaminate every potion.’

Hermione looked at him out of the corner of her eye and smiled softly. ‘I’m surprised you remembered, but I’m even more surprised that you noticed,’ she giggled.

Severus returned her gaze and shifted a little in his seat.

‘I noticed everything. I just chose not to involve myself in silly conversations with silly students with nothing between their ears but bubotuber pus and Madam Puddifoot’s fruit scones!’ he snorted.

‘Ahh, that’s more like it. I had wondered who you really were and what you had done with my old Potions professor!’ Hermione grinned at him.

‘I could say the same about you. Let’s not start comparing each other, shall we?’ he said, smiling at her.

Hermione blushed a little. ‘Point taken,’ she murmured.

‘I’m listening, Hermione, whenever you want to talk,’ Severus said softly.

Hermione looked up at him and smiled, snuggling closer and resting her head on his shoulder. She sipped at her tea for a long time, and Severus realised she was trying to pluck up the courage to start.

Hermione took a deep breath.

‘After I was kicked in the stomach,’ she began, ‘ the Death Eater who had tied my parents up unfastened their gags. Then, he removed the Imperius Curse from my mother and started to ask them questions. About me.’

Severus shifted his arm and put it around Hermione’s shoulder softly. Feeling reassured, she continued.

‘He asked them if they had ever seen me before,’ she whispered, ‘and they said no, that they didn’t know who I was. The Death Eater asked if I was their daughter, and they said no, that they didn’t have any children. Well, they would say that. I had modified their memories, but not many people knew that. The Death Eaters obviously didn’t.’

Hermione paused and finished her tea. Severus took the mug from her hand and placed it onto the coffee table.

‘They got angry then. They screamed at my parents, telling them that they were lying, and that they would get the truth from them. They started to slap and punch my mother around the face, and my Dad shouted at them to stop. One of the Death Eaters pushed his chair over and started to kick him. I heard his arm breaking, and his screaming…’ Hermione drifted off as silent tears ran down her face.

‘I shouted at them to stop. I told them I had modified their memories and told them that they didn’t know who I was, who they really were, even.’ Hermione stopped, and Severus knew that there was more. She had paused mid-sentence.

‘Hermione, if it helps, I know how Death Eaters treated their victims. Nothing you can say will surprise me, sadly,’ he whispered softly.

Hermione shuddered, and Severus grabbed a blanket, placing it over her legs gently, then pulling her in close, resting his chin on the top of her hair. Tentatively, Hermione wrapped her arm across Severus’s waist and closed her eyes softly as she continued to talk.

‘The Death Eater that attacked me pulled me to my feet and forced me to stand in front of my mother. He tore my clothes from me, forcing my mother to watch. He touched me… he made me get onto my knees and…’ Hermione sobbed a little and covered her mouth with her hand, inhaling a long breath as she tried to calm herself. ‘He forced me to, well, you know.’

‘Yes,’ Severus whispered hoarsely as he tightened his hold around Hermione’s shoulder.

‘Then he raped me…’ Hermione’s voice was a whisper, ‘and they laughed when they realised I was a virgin. Harry Potter’s Mudblood whore, still a virgin. They took turns, I lost count… and they forced my parents to watch.’

Severus had stiffened the more Hermione had spoken, his face pale and bile rising in his throat.

‘The first Death Eater told my father to admit who he was, that I was his daughter, or face the consequences. But my father refused,’ Hermione’s voice caught in her throat, ‘he said “I do not have a daughter.”’

Hermione fell forward onto her knees and buried her head in her hands as wracking sobs ran though her body. Severus leant forward and pulled her to him, hugging her tightly until her tears abated slightly.

‘Then what happened?’ he whispered softly into her hair.

‘They killed my parents. They died, and they didn’t know I was their daughter,’ she sobbed, and this time it made no difference how much Severus held her.

Huge hugs to my beta kizzy7, who told me this was a hard chapter to read. Thanks for all your hard work.