Closer & Further Away

He was late on purpose. He knew it, she knew it. Hermione fidgeted as she waited for everyone to find a seat so she could get the meeting over with. When everyone was finally seated, Hermione gave a half-smile and tried to control the fidgeting of her hands as she started without him. "Well, um, thanks for showing up for this meeting. I guess I should start by saying that what I'm about to share with you is only a possibility, but something Severus and I have decided is worth our and your time." She cleared her throat, smiling on the inside when Severus quietly entered the room and stood unnoticed at the back, giving her a small nod of encouragement.

"A few weeks ago an idea came to me. First off, have any of you not heard of the Muggle nuclear bomb?" she asked, continuing when everyone nodded that they had. "Well, my idea is to create a Wizarding version of that bomb. We all know the measures Voldemort has taken to safeguard himself. So imagine if something like this were possible. Despite his best efforts, I believe he wouldn't stand a chance. If it were strong enough..." Hermione paused there while everyone started to murmur. Most of them sounded excited at the idea.

Kingsley raised his hand and asked, "How would you even go about making a 'wizard atom bomb'? I've read about those. Muggle scientists are the ones who came up with the idea, and from what I've read it's not only dangerous as a weapon, it's dangerous to make. What would you build it with that would make it strong enough to kill Voldemort?" There was a fresh outbreak of murmurs as the others wondered the same things and waited patiently for Hermione to fill them in.

"You're right, it will be dangerous to make. But we have Severus Snape, the most accomplished Potions master in all of Britain. He has assured me that we can overcome those dangers. As to how to make it? The process so far is very complicated. Part of the reason for this meeting is that we're at a stopping point until we receive help from all of you. To sum up our formula, we're going to combine the bottled Killing Curse with bottled Love. Now, I'm not talking about love potions, but the love that exists inside us all, namely our blood. We need all of you to give us phials of your blood that we will use in creating the final formulation of the 'Avada Bomb', as we're calling it. You'll need to do so again if we succeed. If this works, we will also be training a few of you who we know can handle it to go out and get phials of blood from any ally and victim willing. The more 'love,' the better, basically," she said, pausing for air after her long explanation.

"What made you guys decide to use blood magic as one of the bases of this bomb?" asked a curious Arthur.

"Dumbledore. He always told us that love was the one thing Voldemort didn't understand. Because of Lily's love for Harry, Voldemort was swept from his body. I just thought what if we combined a few hundred...if not thousand...bits of love and then combine them with the Killing Curse? It just seems logical to me. I don't think he could survive, and Severus agrees. Which is why we're working really hard at perfecting this... at making this a reality," she finished smoothly.

Everyone broke out into excited conversation. Many of them got up and either hugged, congratulated, or asked Hermione where her wand and the phials were. Hermione smiled as she retrieved the crate full of phials and started, one by one, bottling their blood. Severus smirked as he made his way up to the front and helped her bottle the Order's love. He was happy to see her almost normal again. This scene of excited, happy people was exactly why he had wanted Hermione to give the presentation. He knew that bottled love was the strongest when the giver was happy and excited. When they were done, they had a little over sixty bottles of love for the testing phase.

~{}~

Severus calmly swept into the room and bowed before the Dark Lord's feet. Receiving permission to stand and join the others, he got up and proceeded to pay close attention to Voldemort's lecture. When the majority of the Death Eaters had been dismissed, only those considered most loyal remained for further instructions. Voldemort beckoned Severus forward; after kneeling a second time, he faced the Dark Lord, his mind firmly sealed against the invading red stare.

"Severus, how goes the work on the Depreciare potion?" Voldemort asked him quietly. The few other Death Eaters scattered about the room stepped as close as they dared towards the Dark Lord, hoping not to miss a single word of this exchange.

"It goes better, my lord. Though I am not as close as I could have been. I have definitely figured out the sequence up to four of the ingredients. The other nine should come along smoothly, I think. Like I've said before, it's simply a process of elimination. Now that my apprentice is somewhat recovered, my work should move along more swiftly. I have very high hopes that I will have it finished for you before you're ready to make your move," Severus replied, forcing images to the front of his mind of his feeling of satisfaction at having figured out the fourth ingredient. Satisfied that things were as good as they could be given the setback that Malfoy had caused him, Voldemort dismissed everyone with a promise to call on them again soon. Severus skipped the usual gathering, knowing that in the Dark Lord's eyes he would merely appear eager to finish his "work".

Severus made a few stops on the way back to his manor, hoping Hermione would still be up and ready for their outing. Now is the time to plan, he thought as he closed his eyes and Disapparated.

~{}~

Hermione was busy writing with her quill when Severus finally came back and quietly put away his Death Eater garb. She watched him and wondered if he was okay as he went about the room gathering things into one of his magically expanding bags. One of his ingredient bags, she noticed. The very thought of it made her stiffen a bit. Choosing to ignore that feeling, she hesitantly asked him, "Are you leaving again so soon? Is he sending you on some mission or something?"

"Nothing of the sort, actually. You requested before that we talk about our strategic planning out of doors. So we will. While we plan our next move, we'll kill another bird with the same stone and collect fresh ingredients to replenish the stocks. I mean for us to be gone for an entire day, so I hope you don't mind camping," he said, trying to ignore the faint color that now spread across her face.

She was so scared by the idea that she could barely get her voice above a whisper to reply, "I don't think I can go."

Severus stopped what he was doing and walked towards her. When he was less than a few feet away, he stopped and looked into her face, his mere presence forcing her to look into his. "Miss Gran – Hermione. I realize a trip like this will bring back old memories, painful ones. I realize you can choose to stay here and ignore it. But I believe it is in your best interest to face such fears. I assume you will be joining the rest of us when the final battle ensues?" he asked, nodding at her when she nodded her own head.

"If you truly want to fight at your friends' sides, it would be best to prepare yourself by overcoming the fears that have resulted from your capture. The first one you can conquer by entering that very same clearing again. Then you will have to reconcile yourself with seeing those who took you from the clearing – to seeing Lucius Malfoy again. I promise to help you in any way I can to move past those fears, but you have to help yourself as well. I will be with you tonight. I've already gone ahead and doubled the wards. Nothing is going to happen except the harvesting of herbs and the planning of our potion. Will you trust me with your safety this evening? Will you let me help you?" he asked, hopeful that she would pull on her bravery and say yes.

Hermione couldn't help the smile that graced her face at the earnestness of his request. Suddenly feeling much braver, she turned around and headed for the stairs up to their rooms.

"Where are you going?" Severus asked, incredulous.

"I'm going to pack an overnight bag and find my book on outdoor spells. You just can't go camping without it," she said, heading up the stairs to do just that. Severus smirked, pleased that she was going to push through her fears but also happy that she trusted him to help her do it.

~{}~

Less than fifteen minutes after leaving the lab, Hermione was holding her bag and on the point of heading for Snape's room when she turned and saw that he was already there in her doorway, waiting. He waved her through her door into the hall, and both of them walked silently next to each other for a moment. "I've taken the liberty of informing Remus that we're to be gone for a whole day. He has assured me that he'll refrain from interrupting our strategizing unless something drastic happens. Also, I left him with the book on binding body magic; he promised to study the chapter on binding blood magic. He did rather well in Potions, though not as well as me, back in our own days at Hogwarts. He agreed to ask a few other members who show the least bit of ability with potions. He will make sure those who are qualified will start their own studying so they won't be a waste of our time when we teach them the actual process," he said, trying to understand the strange feelings inside him as they approached a safe Apparation point outside in the grove. He would have denied the truth had anyone suggested he was feeling nervous or anxious.

"So, um, is there a faster way to get to the meadow without stopping off at the edge of Diagon Alley like I...like I did before?" Hermione asked quietly, wanting to get the feeling of dread over with and just get there.

"Hold on to my arm tightly. We'll use Side-along Apparation. I created the wards so that only I can arrive there without resorting to the long route," he said, feeling a little unsettled as she tightened her grip on his arm. With a crack, both of them vanished.

~{}~

Severus watched Hermione closely as they set up a Wizards' tent and organized their gear inside. Hermione agreed when Severus said they might as well get the herb gathering over with – his excuse to get her out into the meadow to work, and to hopefully overcome her fear. Severus directed Hermione to an abundance of chamomile while he chose to harvest Blessed Thistle. They worked close together, both of them not daring to speak a word: Hermione because she was barely controlling her breathing, she felt the exposure of the meadow wash over her, Severus because he knew she needed to conquer her fear on her own. Hermione breathed a sigh of relief when Severus suggested they get something to eat out of the picnic-style basket he'd brought along. So as the sun set, they entered the tent and quietly ate their food. Both of them unsure of what to say. Both of them content to share silence. Both of them fighting their feelings of unease. Though neither would admit even to themselves that the unease had little to do with the danger of the world they lived in, but with their complicated thoughts and feelings for each other.

~{}~

Ron and Harry were tired and dirty, but very happy. They had just sent off the second "Victory" note and now they rested by a roaring fire, eating their meager fare. "So how do you think... everyone... is doing?" Ron asked quietly, wishing he was at his mum's dinner table right then.

Harry smiled. "I'm sure Hermione is keeping herself quite busy as Snape's assistant. You know her; she strives to outdo everyone's expectations."

"I still wish there was someone else who could have been trained. I mean, here we are, and Hermione's stuck up in a stuffy room with our most hated Professor," Ron remarked, his face turning to a grimace at the mere thought of spending all day every day with Snape.

"You forget that Potions was one of Hermione's favorite subjects. Despite the dingbat, I'm sure she's having the time of her life," Harry said, hoping to reassure his best friend of Hermione's happiness, something Harry noticed more and more that Ron was thinking about.

"Well, as soon as this war's over, I say we take her with us on some kind of vacation. It'll be just the three of us again."

Harry smirked and asked, "What about Ginny? I wouldn't want to leave her behind. I miss her the way you miss Hermione."

Ron frowned at his friend and mumbled something. Harry asked him what he'd said, and Ron replied in a louder grumble, "I'm still not sure what to think about you and my sister having... feelings..."

Harry laughed and clapped Ron on the back. "Honestly, Ron, would you rather it was me or some other bloke you don't even know dating your sister?"

Ron frowned and replied, "I'd rather she be a spinster... But if she's going to date anyone, I guess you'll do."

Harry smiled at Ron, both of them settling into a peaceful silence, both thinking about the girls they had left behind.

~{}~

Hermione was having a nightmare; that much was obvious as Severus got out of his bed and headed across the vast tent to Hermione's "room." He had been startled out of his sleep when he heard her whimper. But he had expected something like this. He carefully pocketed his wand after lighting the lamps and shook her shoulder gently. She bolted up with a cry and scooted as far away as she could from the hand that had touched her, the hand that in her dreams violated her in ways she was desperate to forget. It took a moment before she realized she'd been dreaming, and the hand actually belonged to a worried Severus Snape, who had woken her. With a sob building in her throat she crawled over to where he sat and wrapped her arms around him, the tears and anguish consuming her as she sought the solace of safety in his arms.

Severus sat there frozen, his arms halfway around her, unsure of how to handle this Hermione... the broken Hermione. Clearing his throat, he said awkwardly, "You're awake now, Miss Gran – Hermione. It was just a dream."

Hermione sniffled and replied in a crackly voice, "I know it was just a dream, but it was horrible. He was... touching me again. It felt like I was still there in that room... I felt dirty again."

Severus stiffened, the image of what she just described causing him to tighten his lax hold on her. His normal self-preservation went flying out the window as his emotions stirred. He cared deeply about this young woman. But he didn't say that out loud. All he said was, "If it's the last thing I do, I promise you that Lucius Malfoy will plead for death before I actually kill him. I promise. You'll never have to fear him again."

Hermione smiled at Severus and lay back down in bed to try and sleep. As much as she hated to let go of him, she knew he was a very sensitive person. The last thing she wanted to do was cling to him, lest it scare him away completely.

Severus went back to his side of the tent and spent the rest of the night thinking about Hermione, Lucius, the Avada Bomb, and his Dark Master. He couldn't for the life of him remember the moment when everything had become so complicated.

A/N: Well, I hope you liked this update... I think it was a bit slow at times, but everything that did happen was necessary. Please read and review... And if it's not to late, don't forget to add your voice and vote in this year's Dobby Awards! *HUGS*