Infertilis Potion

Hermione sat there quietly while she tried to eat her breakfast. She was still shocked at Severus's obvious offer of friendship. Or at least what could be termed an offer of friendship when dealing with Severus Snape. She dropped her fork as she saw a flash of her rescue. She remembered she was begging to die for the thousandth time since she was captured, when suddenly she glimpsed Severus Snape looking at her with his usual stony face. Stony looking at first. When she looked closer at him, she saw the truth of his feelings in those black eyes of his. He was sickened, and furious. It was at that moment that she knew her nightmare was over. Shaking her head to clear her 'capture' out of it, she picked up her fork and continued to force the food down her throat.

Hermione's mind wandered as she set aside her breakfast tray and carefully dressed for the day. Except for wincing in pain, Hermione ignored her injuries as she pulled on a turtleneck blouse. Normally she would have worn a simple tee-shirt for comfort. But one look in the mirror at the back of her neck convinced her to dress for cover. She pulled on a pair of tennis shoes and reached for her wand. Carefully pocketing it, Hermione walked slowly downstairs and knocked on the door to the lab.

Severus opened the door and stared for a moment at the determined look she gave him. "You do realize that you should be resting and gathering your strength," he said silkily as he waved his arm in invitation and stepped back from the doorway.

As she walked over toward her own desk, she replied, "You know I'm not one to sit around when there is work to be done. I can at least sit at the desk and study your process for the Depreciare Potion. I need to know it inside out. I can do the wrist and neck exercises while I read; there isn't enough time for doing one thing at a time."

"Very well. Just don't come whining to me when you've overdone yourself," he said indifferently, not wanting to admit to the spark of concern that had flashed through him at first. "Let's get to work then. Here are my notes and my journal entry for the potion," he said as he laid the materials out in front of her and walked away to finish his own work.

They both worked quietly for hours, Severus stocking up the Order's potion stores, Hermione exercising her wrists and neck as she immersed herself in his notes. It was this scene that Remus found as he rushed into the room, trying to catch his breath and sigh in relief all at the same time. Severus looked at him in irritation before going back to his work and ignoring him. Hermione hadn't even noticed him yet, as absorbed as she was. Remus walked over to Severus and asked him quietly, "What on earth is she doing down here working? I've been looking all over the house since I tried to bring a small lunch to her empty room twenty minutes ago. She should be resting!"

"Calm yourself, Lupin. She is taking it easy – well, her body is. Can't say as much for her mind, though. She is reading and doing her healing exercises. You know how she gets when faced with deadlines... pushy and determined. So please, by all means, try and get the girl to go to bed. This might just be interesting enough to set aside this life or death potion for the theatrical pleasure of seeing you berated..." he said with a slight smirk as he continued working with the contents of the silver cauldron in front of him.

Remus frowned at him as he walked over to Hermione, careful to make his steps loud in hopes of not startling her. She lifted her head briefly before looking back down at her book.

"Don't even bother, Remus. Severus is right, I will berate you right out the door if you try. I promise I'm taking it easy; just leave me be. I'm just reading...."

"Fine," he replied. "Would you at least care for something to eat? I'll bring your lunch to you here if you don't want to eat in your room," he said grouchily.

"In here is fine. I'll nibble as I read. Promise," she said with a barely registered acknowledgement that he was still there. Remus left the room quickly and returned minutes later with a tray of food and bottles of her Healing potions.

"Drink those after you eat, please," Remus said before swiftly leaving the room with a concerned look on his face.

~{}~

Severus, try as he might, could not concentrate on his work. His mind kept reviewing thoughts of Hermione, just like his eyes kept stealing covert looks at her. He had been tortured himself a time or two. But even he – in all his years as a Death Eater/spy – had never endured what she had. He wondered at what really had made her keep going in the face of such hardship. Except for the resulting wrist exercises that she was doing every half hour, it was almost like nothing had ever happened to her.

That thought disturbed him.

He knew that, if anything, suppressing pain and experiences was the last thing one wanted to do. He, in his youth, had participated in several revels, which helped him along in his decision to change his life and turn spy. At first he'd suppressed the memories with ease. But the nightmares they'd engendered were too much for him, reducing him to an exhausted mess. Because of the lack of sleep, he had become sloppy a few times, which resulted in punishments dealt out by the Dark Lord personally. After a particularly bad Crucio-fest, Severus had taken a few weeks to himself and just thought about all of the bad things he had seen and done, brought back every last bad memory that haunted him. When he'd felt he had "beaten" the past, he'd turned all that pain, hate, and sorrow into determination to do whatever he could to rid the world of the Dark Lord and his minions. That's when he had turned himself into a spy for Dumbledore.

Thinking of that now, he knew that's what Hermione must be doing, or what she needed to be doing. He decided then and there to watch her closely. If she showed the same signs of suppressing memories, he would have to do something to "provoke" her into facing the past three months.

~{}~

Later that night, when Hermione was sure that everyone was asleep, she crept down slowly and quietly to the library. She figured she might as well do a little research since she was unable to sleep, owing to bad dreams she couldn't remember or just wouldn't think about. Something had been bugging her these last few restless hours.

She remembered that on her first day of imprisonment, she had been forced to drink several unknown potions. She had wondered what she had been forced to drink since her first guesses of poisons were ruled out, as she was still alive. She found a medicinal encyclopaedia and started reading. It was an hour later that she ran across a chapter on Anti-Conception potions and Diagnosis spells. She nearly dropped the book when she found it, having never thought of this. She then determinedly read the whole chapter three times and, once she was sure she understood the spell, pulled out her wand to perform the Diagnosis spell. She felt the slight tingling that was described in the book, and then a green haze appeared for a moment at the end of her wand.

This time she did drop the book.

The green haze confirmed it. She was not pregnant, nor could she ever be pregnant. The green haze basically meant that she had been given a potion – the effects of which were irreversible – that prevented her from becoming pregnant. She was unsure of what to feel: happy that she couldn't possibly be carrying a bastard child of the man who'd destroyed her innocence or sad that she would never have a child at all. She used to dream of having a family one day, but that was all a moot point now.

Hermione fell asleep in one of the library chairs that night, having forgotten to close the book and put it away.

~{}~

Remus was panicked. He had awoken early this morning and had decided to check and see if Hermione needed anything or if he could convince her to study Severus's journal in her room. But Hermione was not in bed. After his second tense search for her in two days, he had found her asleep in a chair inside the library. He was going to put away the book that had obviously fallen out of her lap when he saw the subject to which the book was opened.

He didn't know what to do, what he could say. It can't be true, but why is she reading about pregnancy? Why else would a person read about it? he wondered frantically as he looked repeatedly from the book to Hermione. He quietly put the book back where it was before and then hurried up to Severus's room, where he barged in.

"Severus! Wake up, we have a problem!" he said, throwing Severus's dressing gown to him.

"What in the bloody hell is the matter, Lupin?" Severus said icily as he got out of bed and slipped his robe on.

"I don't know what to do – was looking – and she was asleep – it was on the floor – was just going to put it away – but it just can't be!" Remus rambled on until Severus held up his hand to silence him.

"Stop your incessant rambling. Tell me, calmly, what happened," Severus gritted out.

Remus took a deep breath and said, "I was looking for Hermione, but she wasn't in her room again. I looked all over and found her asleep in a chair in the library. I was going to put away the book she'd dropped on the floor and let her sleep, but when I picked up the book, I panicked when I saw what she was reading. Severus, it was about diagnosing pregnancy! What are we going to do – or say to her?"

Severus stared at him a moment, wondering if becoming a werewolf had turned Remus stupid or something. "Remus, tell me, how is it that you're a half-blood but you don't even know the basics for how things work in the Wizarding world? For instance, it is well documented and known that all crimes of rape of Muggle-borns by purebloods involve the use of the Infertilis Potion? That no pompous, evil pureblood who committed such crimes would dare risk impregnating a Muggleborn? She was more than likely being her usual know-it-all self and trying to determine what potions she had been forced to swallow. Imagine you were a girl – though it's not a far stretch, by the evidence of your constant panicking and molly-coddling – and you were repeatedly raped. Wouldn't pregnancy as a side-effect be one of your fears? Something you would want to know about?" Severus gave Remus a disdainful look as he saw the resignation fall over his face.

"Now, if you don't mind, I need to get ready for the day since I will no longer be able to sleep. Get out," Severus said as he nearly shoved Remus out the door.

As Severus showered and dressed, and Remus calmed himself with some tea, they both worried about Hermione and the potion that she had more than likely been given, which would prevent her from having her own family one day.

A/N: Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed this update, as much as I enjoyed writing it for you! Please Review! *HUGS*