2: Trouble

Disclaimer: Characters and setting are property of J.K. Rowling. I make no profit from their misuse, except for a lovely collection of reviews.

WARNING: It's not that long a chapter. You can have your lunch after. It's safer that way.

Part 2: Trouble

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"What's disturbing, Harry?"

"Malfoy... you're hiding in an alcove...cuddling...my broom. I can't think of any other word but 'disturbing.'"

Luna opened Draco's eyes to find Potter practically looming over them. There was something slightly dominant, slightly scary, and agonizingly sexy about the pose. But Potter's expression was the kicker.

"You're right. That's a very fetching look...half confused, half furious. I never thought of it that way."

Draco wished for his body back. Barring that, he wished that Luna couldn't hear his thoughts. At the very minimum, he wished that she would choose not to respond to them verbally.

"Hand it over, NOW. You're creeping me out touching it like that."

Luna stood up somewhat reluctantly...and uncomfortably since they'd never done anything about that erection. Draco had such mixed feelings about this he couldn't even begin to make sense of them. They both jumped slightly when Potter's hand snaked out and snagged the broom handle. One of Draco's hands tightened reflexively, not quite letting go. The other, apparently under Luna's conscious control rather than operating by reflex, fluttered down to rest on Potter's hand.

Potter practically jumped. "Malfoy! What the..."

"You have an ink stain on your thumb, Harry." Luna rubbed at it absently. The ink was still tacky, just dry enough that only a faint smudge marred Draco's manicure. He groaned anyway. It seemed the thing to do...on several levels.

Potter pulled clear, backing towards the wall slightly. He looked uncertain. "We weren't on a first name basis last I checked."

Draco, how can you stand this level of hostility? You poor thing... I haven't felt this much suffering since I fell into that patch of hybrid Extra-Spiny Mimbulus mimbletonia. Though, I can see why you've been annoying him for seven years. He's so cute when he's irritated and confused!

Did you just 'squee?'

Maybe.

Whatever you're thinking...and I can't quite tell, even sharing the same brain with you...don't. Just don't.

I promise you'll like this.

"Why can't we be?"

"Why can't we be what?"

"On a first name basis. I think that would be lovely, Harry."

"Have you been drinking? Inhaling Potions fumes? Spending a little too much time with the broom polish, maybe?"

Since discussing this with Luna was utterly useless, Draco gave a hysterical laugh at Potter's half-sarcastic, half honestly bewildered tone.

"Speaking of broom polish, there's a very slight oily residue on your broom that you might want to deal with."

Potter darted a suspicious glance at his broom handle. He rubbed the area in question... his strong, squarish hand gripping and stroking firmly...

Luna, you need to stop looking. For both our sakes.

But... but...

In case you haven't noticed, talking about oily brooms is NOT the way to get rid of our not-so-little problem.

Unfortunately, this just seemed to fuel the Uncensored Lovegood Mouth. "Brooms are sort of sexual, aren't they?"

You're going to get us KILLED!

Potter looked at Draco with something akin to worry although there were still significant amounts of 'confused' and 'pissed off' in the expression. "You must've been hit with some sort of hex. What was it? A bad Confundus? Maybe a Confundus and something else?"

Yes! Potter, the hero, to the rescue! He's giving us an out. Take it, and let's get to Madam Pomfrey so she can put us back where we belong!

"I mean, they're long... phallic..."

"You can just forget about trying to get me to discuss sex with you so that you can use it against me somehow. If you think I'd fall for that, you're completely barmy."

Not quite, but I'm getting there.

"I'm afraid I don't really have much to discuss when it comes to sex. But we could fix that! I always thought it would be really nice if you would be my first," Luna said with a soft sigh.

Of course, the words came out of Draco's mouth.

"WHAT?"

WHAT?

"M...Malfoy! Seriously, um, we need to get you to Madam Pomfrey!"

Luna kept smiling. Harry's eyes widened until it looked as if they might pop out of his head. If Draco had been watching this happen to someone else, it would have been funny.

"It was a potion, right? Come on...I mean, you hate me!"

Draco's till-then-untroubled-brow furrowed slightly. "No... that's not quite right. I don't hate you. I hate that you get so much attention. I'm unhappy that you like Ron and Hermione better than you like me. And of course, I'm jealous that all the girls and boys want you."

If Draco weren't on the verge of expiring from sheer mortification, he would have been convulsed with hysterics at how pale Potter went just before backpedaling straight into a stone wall which contacted the back of his head with a satisfying 'thunk.'

"But I've always thought that you were... really interesting. Even before I knew who you were, you know? I mean, look at your eyes..." Luna trailed off to do just that, languidly lifting one of Draco's slender hands to brush Harry's fringe aside for a better look. "Such a pretty green," she singsonged to herself.

He wasn't supposed to know any of that!

"Malfoy," Harry said, a little weakly.

Perhaps he was still dazed from hitting his head. Maybe Draco would be lucky and Potter would forget everything that had just been said.

"Hospital wing. Need to get you there, now. REALLY important, especially after all that," Potter breathed, sounding ever so slightly panicked. He was probably worried that whatever was making Draco into an utter barmcake was contagious.

Well, there went the hope of memory loss. Die, Lovegood, die!

Luna wasn't paying the least bit of attention to the hysterical monologue taking place in her hijacked brain. Instead, she was closing in on Harry slowly, head tilted to one side, expression still soft and faraway. Potter attempted to melt into the stonework. "Hmm. I'm a little taller than you are. This should be interesting." And she kissed him.

Draco was rather disappointed when the mental shriek he emitted didn't faze the loony one in the slightest. He figured it could have shattered Potter's godawful glasses had it been audible.

"Draco?" Harry's voice was bewildered. Draco could feel Potter's hands, a little dry, one finger still sticky with that damned ink, cradle his face. It was so bloody wrong for Potter to be this gentle...wait, no, it was just bloody wrong...period. Especially since he could feel Luna shaping Draco's face into a pretty, guileless come-hither smile that Potter clearly didn't have the willpower to resist.

Lovegood! No! For God's sake, if you're going to let Potter kiss us, hold your ground! Don't let him push us against the wall!

Nononono! Don't get tongue inv...oh... Oh! Um...

...

C-carry on.

What Luna insisted on trying to 'carry on' was a conversation with Draco. Draco found this painfully annoying considering that he'd finally got to the point where he was perfectly content to just stand there and let Harry keep snogging them.

So, you've only kissed Pansy three times, and you thought she had all the passion of a dead fish?

Something like that.

Harry's a bit of an improvement, isn't he?

...

Draco?

Mmm...

You're right. Conversation doesn't enhance the experience.

Conversation definitely did not enhance the experience. 'Snogging' was no longer an adequate descriptor. Harry was debauching the inside of Draco's mouth with his tongue. His (surprisingly gentle) hands hadn't drifted below Draco's ears, yet there was a very real possibility that this would lead to orgasm with no appreciable friction between genitals whatsoever. Which was both incredibly sexy and rather disappointing.

Luna! We've got to stop, or we'll have a serious mess on our... well, not hands, but...

That doesn't sound nice at all.

"Wait."

Luna whimpered. Draco echoed the sentiment even though they had just agreed that a pause was called for in the interest of maintaining clean pants.

"Too close... Don't want to...here." Harry was flushed, completely out of breath, and whatever he saw in Draco's expression had his eyes wide and sparkling behind smudged glasses. "Amazing... can't believe you'd fancy...didn't know you were gay."

"Opportunistic... is... more like it."

Harry chuckled against Draco's shoulder, apparently trying to compose himself. "So that's what it's called. I thought it was bi-curious."

"Is that what you are?"

"Er... Well, Ginny and I did some experimenting. We figured out that there were some things we wanted to try that we couldn't try with each other."

Experimenting? Why, you kinky little slut. Who would have guessed it of Gryffindors?

"Really? How kinky?"

"Um...what? Who said anything about 'kinky?'" Harry looked a little taken aback.

"It's sort of a long story. But I don't think that it's terribly surprising...I mean, that you want to experiment. Experiments are a wonderful way to gain knowledge. And of course, I imagine Gryffindors are supposed to be brave...even in bed. Right?"

Harry was blinking with the effort of keeping up with the logic, such as it was. Draco sympathized. "Are you sure you're all right, Draco? Not that I'm complaining...about the snog and the change of, erm, attitude...but you don't quite sound like yourself."

No shit, Potter.

"In some ways I think I might be more myself than I've ever been. I'm definitely more aware of certain feelings." She pressed against Harry again, eliciting three simultaneous groans (two of them audible).

"Hold that thought," Harry gasped, pulling away. "Or better yet, think of Filch for a moment." He turned to open the window. "It, uh, helps stop...you know."

"What a coincidence," Luna said breathlessly.

Draco laughed. How much was amusement and how much was hysterics he refused to analyze.

"Harry, why are you opening the window?"

Harry twiddled his broom between his hands, blushing and looking exceptionally (if a little clumsily) gallant. Both Luna and Draco determinedly thought of Filch to quell the resulting uprising. "It's... er... that is, um...ifyouwantme...and it's yourfirsttimeandall, it should be... really special. I mean, if you still want to do this. If you'd rather wait until we..."

Are you mad? Stop waffling, Potter, and get to the part where we shag!

"Until we what? I mean, I wouldn't object to dating, but it's not as if we don't even know each other."

"I wonder," Harry murmured with a shake of his head. He got on the broom (rather decisively) and gestured behind himself. "Hop on."

All thoughts of Filch promptly evaporated, leaving behind the beginnings of previous problem.

Ohmygod... Are we getting ourselves in for kinky broom sex?

I sure hope so.

Luna climbed on carefully, eliciting a reassuring glance from Harry. "Don't be nervous. It'll be all right."

Draco reconsidered thinking derogatory thoughts at Potter for mistaking possession for nervousness. After all, the former was not exactly an everyday occurrence...even in the Wizarding world.

Luna let out an undignified little squeak as they took off.

You're acting as if you've never been on a broom before! Get a grip, witch!

How's this?

Draco was particularly pleased with where Luna chose to get said grip. Harry, given the circumstances, was not.

"Draco! I need to steer!"

Don't listen to him, Luna. He's brilliant on a broom. He can manage with a little distraction.

As if I would stop...

"Eep!"

"I told you I need to concentrate!"

Okay, maybe we should stick to above the waist.

Right.

They reached a window on the seventh floor without further incident, and Harry landed safely inside. There was a little awkwardness getting the broom untangled from their legs, but then they were kissing again. Draco would have protested at how Luna was practically melting all over Harry except that he could feel how the kiss was effectively reducing him to the consistency of marshmallow fluff (with the exception of one key body part).

Too soon, Harry broke it off. "Come on," he whispered, twining his fingers with Draco's. He led them to an all-too-familiar section of the wall. "You pick what the room will be like."

Comprehension dawned for Draco about the same time as Luna began imagining her 'tryst in the forest' fantasy.

Luna...please, let me handle this! What's Harry going to think of me if it looks like I want to be shagged on a bed of flowers?

That you're very romantic?

Luna!

Okay, the Quidditch one was pretty hot. I'm not sure how the room would manage the trees, in any event.

Thank you.

After a few turns in front of the wall, the door obligingly appeared.

Draco's first impression was resigned dismay. The Quidditch uniforms were definitely there... as was a bed with tree-like posts and moss-green sheets edged in little purple flowers. The air smelled of a curious blend of broom polish and violets. The Quidditch changing rooms were a strange hybrid of their uninspiring brick reality and what appeared to be a dry waterfall.

Oh, this is just brilliant.

Definitely.

Sarcasm is lost on you, isn't it?

Harry interrupted whatever Luna might have thought in reply with a brilliant smile. Draco immediately forgave her any irregularities with the setting. He almost forgave her the whole body-napping thing, without which this wouldn't be happening, but he had yet to shag. He would consider it afterwards...when, presumably, his mood would be much improved.

"So, what did you have in mind?" Harry lifted one of Draco's hands to his lips, gently nibbling on long fingers as he waited for the answer.

Apparently, it was possible for Luna's brain to disconnect even further. Draco would have been impressed, were he not in the position of suffering the effects. "Anything."

Luna! Quidditch gear...showers...broom...is any of this ringing a bell?

"Just take me, Harry," Luna breathed, backing towards the bed.

No! Do you have any idea what that means?

Offhand, I'd say that it means he has GREAT hands.

"Oh, Draco... Gorgeous, just gorgeous. Good enough to eat." Harry backed up his breathless remarks with some very determined snacking on Draco's neck.

Luna glanced down the body she was currently occupying and smiled. "I am, aren't I?"

Harry's laugh interrupted the very interesting thing he'd been doing with his tongue and Draco's collarbone. "You've no idea how glad I am to hear that. I was beginning to worry you'd had a complete personality transplant or something."

You were right the first time, Potter. Wait...you were worried that I wasn't acting my usual self?

Food for thought, isn't it?

She docilely lay back on the bed, letting her gaze drift between Harry's rapidly emerging skin and Draco's erection, which was once again bouncing enthusiastically. And doing something else, as well.

Is it supposed to leak like that?

Explaining pre-cum was the last thing on Draco's mind, somewhere well below terror at the anticipation of pain, ego-boosting arousal at the hungry, lustful eyes Potter was raking over his body, some as-yet unidentifiable emotion at the fact that Harry had (albeit not in so many words) said that he was interested in Draco, personality and all, and embarrassment at being mistaken for the biggest, ponciest bottom of all time.

Fucking hell, Luna! There's no way to put this delicately...it hurts to take it up the arse, especially when you haven't done it before!

"Oh," Luna said, blinking at Harry in an unfocused sort of way. "I... Could you be gentle, Harry? Since I haven't done this before?"

You're making me sound like a girl!

What?

It's not 'Be gentle.' Guys say something more manly like... like, 'Go easy.'

Luna declined to argue further, being lost in the flurry of butterfly-delicate kisses that Harry lavished over Draco's face and neck in response. "Of course. I promise I won't hurt you. I'll make it good for you, baby. God, if I'd known it would be like this, I'd have...I'd have done something."

Draco attempted to shrug off the resulting euphoric arousal and cling to his righteous indignation. See...he's treating us like a girl!

No offense, but... sod off, Draco.

"I trust you, Harry."

"Relax... I want this to last." He kissed Draco from shoulder to shoulder, reaching for something beside the bed with his free hand.

Broom Polish?!

For once Luna didn't see fit to embellish Draco's thought. "Broom Polish?"

"Trust me...it's quite the sensation." Harry's flush of arousal intensified several shades from embarrassment.

Just what were you and the girl-Weasel up to, Potter?

Draco couldn't help wanting to know what was going on behind those eyes. He focused as hard as he could and thought: 'Legilimens.'

A kaleidoscope of images... all of Draco... sneering, at a variety of ages... scared ice-white in the Forbidden Forest, trying to put on false bravado that was in no way as cute as Potter seemed to think it was... running and screaming... with a bloody nose... in Quidditch robes that draped and flared in an entirely too flattering manner... in the Great Hall with sunlight gilding his hair... looking handsomely competent, if arrogant, in Potions class... trembling and wide-eyed under Harry, vulnerable in every way, including having his Legilimens turned back on him...or, as the case may be, them...

"What the FUCK is going on here?"

"It was an experiment, Harry. But we really want..."

Only by Apparating could Harry have put distance between them faster. He went from passionate lover to wand-wielding future Auror in nothing flat, and it was just the cherry on the crap sundae in terms of how Draco's day had been. Luna's almost painful optimism was all that stood between Draco and silent tears of frustration.

"Who'm I talking to? No games!"

"I'm doing the talking, Harry. But Draco is here. I guess he did the Legilimency since I don't know how."

"It's...this isn't Polyjuice, is it, Luna?"

Oh, fuck it. Just... tell him to do whatever it is he has to do.

"Draco and I are both here, Harry. See for yourself. He says it's okay."

"See for myself?"

"Use Legilimency. I can't stop you. I won't even try."

After considerable hesitation (and looking very much as if he expected to regret it), Harry accepted the invitation. "Legilimens."

Images of Harry in a dazzling array of real-life situations, from the endearing to the unintentionally erotic... Draco confronting Luna in the classroom... the 'conversation' in the toilet... the broom encounter... a whirl of fantasies, some of them on the verge of being realized...

Harry closed his eyes, breaking the connection. He set his wand down on the bed, fluttering his fingers awkwardly as if unsure where to put his hands.

Draco thought this rather ironic, considering where Harry had just been putting his hands.

"See, Harry? We're both here. And we've both wanted this...for some time, actually."

"We should go to Madam Pomfrey and get you two sorted out." Harry blushed. He kept darting little glances at Draco's body. The contrast between this coy peeking and the hungry possessiveness he'd displayed earlier was not insanely attractive, Draco insisted quite adamantly and entirely falsely.

You have a serious problem with self-honesty.

"But we're here now. I'd really rather get the whole virginity thing sorted now, if it's all the same to you. Besides, unless I use Polyjuice, when would I ever have the chance to try it from a boy's point of view?"

I can honestly say that this is the first idea of yours that I've liked, if I understand what you just said.

Harry was doing a lot of blinking today, Draco reflected. "I'm guessing that you're talking about doing things that wouldn't be possible in your own body...."

Luna smiled. "Well, you do have the most gorgeous backside ever, Harry. Draco agrees. Though, I'm not sure you'll get him to admit it later."

"Ah... Hmm. O-kay," Now Harry really looked awkward.

Oh, him you ask first. My arse is fair game.

"Sorry, but this is totally bizarre for me."

Like it's perfectly normal for ME?

"So, you don't want to?"

"It's not that. It's just...Luna, I didn't even know you were interested! Um...either of you. But we've been friends, at least. I just feel sort of weird that you didn't... er... I dunno, say something?"

"Oh, I was happy being friends with you, Harry. I still am. The fantasies were just a nice way to pass the time, you know?"

"Huh... Okay... Do you have a lot of fantasies...about your friends?"

"Sometimes. Don't you?"

"No!"

"I mean, you know lots of pretty girls. Some really fanciable boys, too."

If he's ever thought anything about the Weasel, I'm going to puke...whether I have control of this body or not.

Ron's really quite sexy, Draco.

Obliviate me, please. That thought had no business anywhere NEAR my brain.

"Luna! I'm not going to toss off to thoughts of..." He cut off the thought abruptly. "Just...no."

"And I think that most guys in your year and mine have had at least a passing thought about Parvati and Padma. Together."

"Um... Well..."

Give up, Potter. We've all had that one, and you know it.

"Draco admits it."

Are you even aware of the concept of a private thought?

Harry cleared his throat. "I don't want things to be weird afterwards."

Potter... it's Lovegood we're talking about. No offense, Luna.

None taken.

"Harry, it's okay. I can still be friends with you after this. I don't mind a little bit of bizarre."

Once he'd finished laughing, Harry got to the rest of what was bothering him. "But it's not just you, it's Draco in there."

Fine, Potter. I can take the hint. It would've been too much to expect...

"You've seen his fantasies."

"Based on that, then, M...Draco...is good with all of this, I suppose." He ran one hand through his hair, exacerbating the mess. Which really wasn't sexy, Draco told himself firmly. "And you have a point, Luna, about doing this differently. I mean, I really don't mind catching, so long as I get my shot at pitching."

You don't mind... Good? GOOD?Draco discovered that, yes, it was possible to do a happy dance without a body.

Luna smiled. "I'd say that he's more than 'good' with it."

"Right. So, I guess it'll be easiest this way..." Harry got on his hands and knees, facing away from them, and Draco went into further ecstasies.

All that...all that Potter nudity... and she hardly ever blinks... YES!

"Just remember what I was doing, and go easy."

Draco managed to withdraw himself from his transcendental state long enough to point out to Luna that 'go easy' was, indeed, the official male phrase for dealing with this situation.

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Third and final part, coming right up. Among other things.

Give me a break, friends...It would've been seriously wrong to make a threesome with these three even remotely normal.

SeverusLovesUs is a marvel who is now done beta reading this entire story. Any delays in posting are due to my sluggishness at implementing her corrections and/or my inherent ADD tendencies.