Part XVI

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit tribute to the works of JK Rowling, who created and, together with her publishers and licensees, owns the characters and settings elaborated herein.

All my gratitude to my betas and previewers DementedLeaf, Xoxphoenix and Morgaine_Dulac. Many thanks to all my kind readers and reviewers.

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Part XVI

Snape staggered back and raised his hands, hiding his face and his feelings.

"Severus," Lily's voice called him softly, but the man in the portrait was drowning in an ocean of emotions that made him unable to speak. So she asked for help.

"Al, dear, will you please hang my picture on the wall?"

Reddening in anxiety, the boy hurried to look for a proper position. He found a little painting showing a view of the lake and removed it carefully; then, with even more attention, he took Lily's portrait in his hands and put it at its place.

"Thank you!" she rewarded him with a sweet smile, and Snape, understanding what was going to happen, backed again until his shoulders met the painted wall behind him. There he waited, breathing slowly and watching the little portrait in painful attraction.

Moving gracefully and fluidly as in a dance, Lily left her picture and entered his frame; in a few rapid steps, she arrived before the wizard and there she stopped, considering him with admiration.

"How handsome you have become, Severus!" she finally said, her voice betraying the tears that were welling in her eyes.

He was breathing with difficulty, trying to manage his conflicting emotions while contemplating the dearest vision with adoring eyes. There she was, exactly as he remembered her, in the untouched beauty of her twenty-one years.

"Lily!" he murmured with a strangled voice. "Lily," he repeated in a sobbing whisper, then his too forceful emotions overpowered him, and he tried to kneel before her.

She immediately grabbed him by his arms and held him tightly, stopping his movement and shielding him from the sight of the children. For a moment, leaned against her body, he felt a shocking stream of warmth run through his fibres. Finally, he savoured a physical contact with another being and exactly with the one that was so dear to his heart. How intensely he had desired it! Joy was simply overwhelming.

Then he raised his head and their eyes met, his pleading, hers compassionate, both shining with tears. Lost in the sight of the girl he had thought he would never see again, dizzy for the emotions clashing in his soul, Snape summoned all his courage and slowly straightened himself, opening his mouth to speak. But the girl stepped back and, with a quick warning glance, she indicated the children behind her, asking him silently to wait.

"Grandma!" little Lily called imperiously. She had evidently planned everything, and didn't want to miss a single detail. "You should kiss Professor Snape now!"

Then, as if having second thought, she declared reassuringly, "You can do it, I won't tell anything to grandpa."

Finally, after another thoughtful pause, she added, "Either will Al. Right, Al?"

But her brother was staring agape, so she elbowed him.

"AL!!!" the small girl exclaimed in exasperation, and their grandmother smiled.

"I had already thought about this by myself, but thank you for the suggestion," Lily declared with a nonchalance that revealed her intense emotion. She went closer to Snape and gently put her hands on his shoulders. Instantly, the wizard stiffened and closed his eyes, while she straightened on the tips of her toes and kissed him lightly on his cheek. Snape shuddered and inhaled sharply; then he opened his eyes with a sort of pain on his features.

She considered him with a bit of surprise.

"Did it hurt?" she inquired in concern.

"N-no." His voice was just a hoarse whisper.

"Well, then why do you look so tense?" she asked him gently.

"I... I am not used to kisses," he replied huskily, trembling in emotion. "Especially from... from you," he added with an effort that made him flush.

In the meantime, the children looked at each other, one in perplexity, the other in delight.

"He doesn't seem to like it," Al whispered to her sister, but she cut him off patronisingly, "Of course he likes it! You are a boy, that's why you don't understand this kind of thing."

She turned again to the portrait.

"Now you should go for a walk," she instructed, but her grandma replied with a hesitant voice, looking at Snape in worry, "I think you should let Professor Snape decide what he prefers to do. Perhaps he would like me to leave, now."

"DON'T!"

Words burst out before he could stop them, and he awkwardly managed to add, "I mean... I would love to go walking with you in one of these beautiful panoramas."

Radiating in joy, little Lily elbowed again her brother and exclaimed in excitement, "Come on, Al! We must leave them alone now!"

She smiled at the couple and hopefully asked, "Grandma, will you kiss Professor Snape for me before I leave?"

Seriously, the woman in the picture replied, "Darling, perhaps Professor Snape has had enough of kisses."

"But if he was so happy when you kissed him before!" the child was ready to answer. Her grandma smiled. "Well, maybe later."

"Goodbye, Professor Snape," little Lily greeted. "I hope you like my surprise."

With an effort, Snape turned his eyes away from the woman before him and nodded to the small one watching him so trustfully from below.

"Thank you, Miss Potter," he said. "And I really mean it."

She brightened and waved her hand, then turned her shoulders proudly and began to walk, grabbing her stunned brother in her way and exclaiming, "Let's go, Al; Dad will be waiting for us! You don't want him to come here, don't you?"

But the woman in the portrait stopped the boy on his march by asking him, "Please, Albus Severus, wait for me down there, near the door. Later I'll need your help again to go home."

The little girl frowned; then, understanding the uselessness of a complaint, she resumed her walking with a last regretful glance. When little Lily had left the room, Al whispered, "Grandma, couldn't you become my sister too?"

Lily widened her eyes and replied, "Al! You already have a sister! Don't you like her?"

"Oh, grandma, but you are so beautiful!" The boy looked at her in admiration, then sighed and obediently went to reach his place at the opposite end of the room, where he sat on a chair. As soon as he was far enough to not hear their words, Snape softly called again, "Lily..."

"Shht!" she silenced him by placing a finger on his lips, then she took him by his hand. "Come with me and don't say a word."

Once more, he felt a liquid wave of emotion running through his body at her touch; little pulsing coloured blots danced before his eyes and, spellbound, he followed her into a picture showing a magnificent sunset glowing from behind a chain of mountains. As soon as they entered the painting, the sun seemed to radiate more intensely while the delicate colours of the fading evening changed in a transition of glorious shades. For a long moment, they stopped and contemplated in awe the majestic beauty of the scene, reflecting so well the emotions in their spirits. Then they sat on a painted bench, and the dark wizard immediately turned to the girl.

"Lily!" Snape implored with a sort of desperation, "I have been dreaming about this possibility for such a long time in my mind! Please tell me that you... that you don't hate me for what I have done. Tell me that you are here to forgive, not to condemn!"

Protected by the bench, he slid down and knelt in front of her, clasping her hands and holding them tightly, craving to kiss them yet not daring to try. Oh, how could he expose his soul, how could he show the intensity of the feelings that made his painted heart race in emotion!

Answering to the plea in his voice, she bent and leaned her forehead against his, enfolding him in the soothing balm of her tenderness. He felt her breath tickle his cheeks and closed his eyes, wishing that that blissful moment could last forever. But she was already raising her head, caressing his skin with soft fingers while she gently unleashed her hands from his hold. He trembled again under her touch, and her brows furrowed in concern.

"Severus, don't!" she whispered. "I have come here for you. Please sit next to me. Let's speak like the friends we were." A painful pause, then she corrected herself. "Like the friends we are."

Slowly, his heart beating madly at those words, he got on his feet and sat again next to her, a hesitant look on his face.

"I'm sorry," she said, brushing off the hair with the same graceful movement he remembered so well. Instantly, it was as if so many years hadn't passed and, for a moment, he was again the gangly, clumsy boy he had been in his teens.

"I'm sorry," she repeated, watching him in anxiety, "I should have advised you. But, as you probably understood, it was a sudden decision."

Still trying to manage his rushing heartbeats, Snape asked the first of the many questions chasing in his mind. "Lily... how... how did you...?"

She understood his unspoken words and smiled, happy to switch to a safer subject.

"I was painted a year ago, and I must thank Ginny for that. My first grandson had received his letter from Hogwarts and memories came unexpectedly back to haunt Harry. So Ginny told him that it was time to cope with his unresolved anguishes. My son never wanted to have our pictures in his home. He didn't know us except in his dreams. But eventually, he agreed, so I got to know my daughter-in-law and my grandchildren. Now Harry comes to speak to me, but I imagine how difficult it must be for a grown up man... talking to the adolescent woman who happens to be his mother."

There were tears in her eyes that couldn't trickle down. She lowered her head, and Snape felt the desperate impulse to hug her; yet he didn't dare to do anything but force himself to stay quiet, though vibrating in pain. Finally, with a deep breath, Lily raised her face and locked her eyes with his, declaring firmly, "Harry told me everything, Severus."

Snape stiffened immediately in alarm, a cold stab of fear chilling his heart. But Lily placed her little hand on his hand in a gentle, reassuring touch, while she resumed her telling.

"You see, when Dumbledore told James and I that there was a prophecy and that our son might be involved in it, I was terrified. When he told us that you - and exactly you of all those surrounding me - had been the one to report it to Voldemort, I was sickened. But when he told us that you had practically delivered yourself in his hands to inform him of the danger, I felt a new hope surging in my soul. I knew you couldn't be that evil, and I hoped, oh! so desperately hoped to see you again at my side!"

She stopped in emotion, reliving the events.

"Then everything was destroyed by Voldemort, the night in which he reached our house, the place that was supposed to be our shelter! I begged him, trying to protect my baby. But it all was useless, and I thought that you had lied to Albus."

Her face altered at the memory. "Betrayed by the man who once was my best friend! It was such a painful thought to die with!"

Her voice broke in a sob, and Snape felt his heart crash in a thousand pieces, as if the colours with which he had been painted had suddenly shrunk and crumbled in a multitude of wounding, razor-sharp flakes.

"Forgive me! Please forgive me!" he cried in despair, yielding to the pain torturing his fibres. "You don't know how much I have hated myself for what I did to you!"

Shaken by tearless sobs, he buried his face in his hands, feeling his soul lacerate in agony. Then he heard Lily anxiously call him and perceived her arms close and tighten around his body, enfolding him in a loving embrace. He turned to hide his face in her shoulder, shivering for the many emotions devastating his mind. She kept him tightly, murmuring soothing words.

"It's all forgiven, Severus, it's all forgiven. I know our death wasn't your fault."

Those words! Those astonishing words! Incredulous, he dared to raise his head and look at her, so he saw her eyes brighten with tears. Her voice vibrated in renewed affection while she talked quietly.

"Harry told me everything. How you tried to save us, and how you devoted the rest of your life to protecting him. The times in which you punished him and those in which you helped him. And he told me about your Patronus."

She paused, her warm breath stirring softly his hair. "But, above all, he told me that you did everything in memory of me, while the man whom we trusted, and who should have been Harry's true protector, had instead planned to raise him like a sacrificial victim, like a 'pig for slaughter'. This is why I came here today. To tell you that everything is forgiven. And to tell you that I will be forever grateful."

Drowning in a gigantic wave of tenderness, he relaxed in her arms and closed his eyes. Impulsively, she kissed him on his temple. That gesture inexplicably froze him. With a shiver, he disentangled from her embrace, feeling exposed and, what was worse, ridiculous. She was still so young and innocent despite the tragic events she had experienced while he was almost double her age, and with a whole life of atonement behind his shoulders. What chance could there still be between them, what bond, what hope, except for childhood memories and burning regret?

He looked at her and declared bitterly, "I don't deserve your pity."

Worried by his reaction, she confessed, "I'm sorry. I had been tempted to do something similar when we were at school." She gulped. "I mean, before we quarreled. You looked so... so vulnerable."

"I wish you had done it at that time, then. But you were too committed to Potter," he replied harshly, feeling his anger irrationally grow at the thought of those lost possibilities.

"You still can't call him James, can you?" she said, an echo of her old animosity rising in her voice.

"He stole you from me. I will never forgive him for that," he replied sharply. Then his voice softened with heartbreaking tenderness and he whispered slowly, "I have loved you since the very first moment I saw you."

Finally he had said it! It had taken him a whole life and both their deaths to express those feelings, but finally he had told her. And, immediately after, he realised once more the hopelessness of that declaration. Life had offered him a second chance, but he would never be allowed to fulfill it. And yet he should be grateful, though his heart was filled with consuming bitterness and his mind with useless options.

He felt her fingers gently close around his wrist.

"I knew it, Severus. That's why I never dared to encourage you. I couldn't return your feelings."

He turned to stare disbelievingly at her, and she looked back at him, trying to find the words.

"I have given my mind and my heart to the man I had chosen, Severus, and I can't change this. But there will be always a place for you in my soul. This is why I came here."

The man near her was rubbing angrily his eyes. "It doesn't matter! It's too late. It has always been too late for me!"

"Severus..." she placed a hand on his arm, but he pulled away with a tug. Pained, she withdrew on the bench.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you. Will you forgive me?" she asked.

"Lily!" he exclaimed, instantly regretting his action. "Lily, how can you ask this from me? I am the one who destroyed your life and your family! Without me, nothing would have happened! You don't know how many times I have wished that the Dark Lord had never existed, that I had never existed. Or, at least, that I had never had the chance to meet you."

He stopped, strangled by his too-intense emotions.

"You..." he murmured, surrendering to his feelings and abandoning himself to the immensity of his love. "You, who have always been the only reason of my existence."

The world stood still for a moment. She sighed, a small, soft, tremulous sound disguising a sob, then closed her eyes, lowering her head to hide the sorrow on her face. A painful silence filled the frame, while the sun seemed to palpitate and fade. Clouds slowly covered the mountains and a grim tone saturated the colours.

Greying in the dimming light, Snape turned his head and contemplated the desolate figure near him with desperate tenderness. Slowly, cautiously, his hand travelled bit by bit on the back of the bench until it reached her shoulder. She stiffened and he stopped in panic, mutely asking for permission. But finally she relaxed and he gently pulled her close to him, resting his black head on her soft hair.

They enjoyed the warmth of their closeness and the beauty of the mountains in a silence filled with unspoken words.

"Let's start this conversation again, may we?" she whispered after a while.

"No," he replied firmly and she immediately straightened, turning to look at him with worried eyes. But he kissed her tenderly on her hair, saying quietly, "No. Let's just stay here. Together."

He drew her back against him again and she leaned her head on his shoulder. Silently, they watched the sunset shine and sparkle before them, in renewed, incessant, awesome glory.

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Sitting on an uncomfortable chair near the door and feeling extremely tired after that long, demanding day, Albus Severus yawned for the hundredth time, trying at the same time to guess what was going on between Professor Snape and Grandma Lily. His sister Lily had been so sure that Professor Snape would be happy... and yes, he had looked happy, but in such a strange, painful way!

Forgotten witness of that peculiar encounter, Albus Severus had listened in concern to the raising and lowering of the voices, unable to understand the words but easily perceiving the tones. The emotions he had been able to sense had been so strong, so powerful, so filled with sadness, that his little heart had ached in sympathy, and many times tears had threatened to trickle. He had therefore been forced to rub his eyes forcefully. He didn't want to be caught weeping, especially from those two so very special persons.

But then Professor Snape and Grandma Lily had unexpectedly become silent on the bench, and Albus Severus had found himself holding his breath while looking at the timid climbing of Professor Snape's hand on the backrest. And finally he had relaxed, when the two adults had clung together in that soothing embrace. He was rubbing his eyes again, this time in happy tiredness, when a voice made him startle.

"Al! Al! Are you sleeping?" Albus Dumbledore was calling him softly but anxiously. Al smiled to him in haziness and the old wizard continued in a hardly contained agitation. "You must leave immediately, my dear boy! Somebody's coming this way. Better for you to go, or you will be punished, and they'll be discovered."

"But... but... Grandma asked me to stay!" The boy tried to protest and Dumbledore smiled fondly.

"Don't worry. I'm sure Lily would prefer to know you safely away, with no points taken from Gryffindor. I'll explain her what happened."

Convinced, the boy got on his feet; cautiously, he opened the door and looked around in the corridor. A sound of approaching steps made him wince in panic.

"Go! Go!" Dumbledore incited him and, with a last apologetic glance, Albus Severus silently raced towards the Gryffindors' common room.

As soon as the boy had left, the soft shape of Minerva McGonagall appeared in the corridor. Moving as cautiously as the boy had done, she opened the door and looked around for Dumbledore. The witch and the wizard exchanged a happy glance, then paused for a moment to look at the couple. Finally, always in silence, they left.

A few minutes passed and the door opened again. This time, a silent shadow entered warily and stopped in surprise, watching the scene with a wondering frown. Then the shadow noiselessly slipped out, leaving the room and its unaware occupants to their blissful emotions.