part XIV

Disclaimer: This is a non-profit tribute to the works of JK Rowling, who created and, together with her publishers and licensees, owns the characters and settings elaborated herein.

All my gratitude to my betas and previewers DementedLeaf, Xoxphoenix and Morgaine_Dulac. Infinite thanks to Duj for her final supervision. Many thanks to all my kind readers and reviewers.

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Part XIV

"I'm glad to see you remember me, Severus, considering how many years have passed since the last time we met. It was when the Dark Lord commanded me to find you, do you remember? You entered the Shrieking Shack... and never came back. Who would have thought that the Dark Lord would sacrifice such a loyal follower? "

A sarcastic drawl underlined these last words. It was an unexpected and cruel opening, and an acute pain chilled Snape's heart at those memories while his mouth refused to speak. Raising his brows in mocking surprise, the man under the picture tilted his head and lifted his cane with a shaky hand, aiming its tip to the portrait.

"Not even a word for the friend you always professed to admire and respect? My, my, I really expected a warmer welcome from you. You were always such a persuasive talker! Where did all your eloquence go?"

Lucius lowered the cane and leaned heavily on it with both hands, considering the portrait with a nasty smile.

"Or perhaps it is guilt that ties your tongue?" he suggested with meaningful slowness, bending forward and dropping his tone as if to share a secret. "I can understand that. It must be hard to find something to say to the man you have deceived!"

Feeling a cold rage rising at these words, Snape found his voice again. "I haven't deceived you, Lucius!"

"No!" Malfoy was ready to reply with exaggerated emphasis. "No, you are right. You haven't deceived only me. There are many others who can claim to have received this same honour from you."

Again, he considered Snape with a sneer. "Dumbledore's lapdog. Servant and traitor of both your masters. And yet we believed you. How well you performed your part!"

Lucius straightened himself with an effort and let his gaze wander in contempt: slowly, his arrogant eyes roamed past the many different objects gathered in the room, until they rested once more on the man in the portrait, who returned his gaze in disdainful silence. Lucius nodded nonchalantly.

"I see you have recreated your little kingdom here. Everybody speaks of your lessons. You are the wonder of the school, the controversial hero, the notorious professor offered a second life by magical arts. Now, why don't you ask me how did I spend my life after the battle? Aren't you interested to know, my dear, dear friend?"

Both men stared at each other in challenge for a long moment. Then Lucius continued sharply, "Fifteen years in Azkaban, Severus. The Wizengamot needed to set an example, and they chose me. Of course! I was the obvious choice. So, I lost everything in a handful of seconds."

His voice wavered while pronouncing these last words, then steadied again, rising in controlled anger. "My name, my dignity, my honour. The love of my wife, who spent fifteen long years in solitude and pain. The wedding of my son, that was celebrated without the joy such an occasion would require. The birth of my grandson, the announcement of which I received with great delay in the solitude of my cell... And finally, my health, my joy and my hopes! Everything has been burnt, Severus, and all I have left is a heap of ashes."

He drew himself up in a painful act of pride. "I, Lucius Malfoy, pureblood and heir of one of the most famous dynasties in the magical world! Now I am forced to lower my eyes in shame even before the humblest Mudblood! See the pathetic wreck I have become! "

His knuckles became white as he tightened his grip on his cane, shaking it violently. "And you knew it! You worked against us from the very beginning!"

"It seems, however, that I didn't succeed as I should have," Snape replied coldly. "I see you are still a loyal follower of the Dark Lord in your heart, even though an ignominious defeat and fifteen years in a cell have proven the vainness of his ambitions. Perhaps the Ministry should be informed of this touching devotion."

"That is not what I meant!" Lucius retorted, eyes sparkling with fury but also with a hint of fear at that menace so openly offered. "You lied constantly to us, to me!"

"Coming from the man who lied shamelessly to the Ministry and the Board of Governors, this is a strange accusation," Snape continued in the same cold tone.

"DON'T PLAY YOUR TRICKS WITH ME!" Lucius shouted in anger, then suddenly paled, and pressed a hand on his heart, staggering back unsteadily.

"I wanted to protect our world..." he panted and swayed, the cane unexpectedly revealing itself too unstable to help to sustain his weight.

"How?" Snape challenged him. "How? By throwing it definitely into the hands of a demonic monster?"

"I don't permit you---" Malfoy began, then again he faltered in pain, and looked around in the desperate search for a support. Attempting to regain his balance, he leaned against one of the desks, keeping a hand tightened on his chest.

"It aches..." he gasped, "Merlin, how it aches... but I need to tell you what I hold in my heart, before it cracks... I still have nightmares, Severus. I had them for fifteen years. Each day. Each hour. Each minute. Waking up in a cold cell, answering to my keepers, eating that stale bread, sleeping in those filthy sheets. Everything reminded me of my past glorious position before I became a number they enjoyed humiliating."

His eyes filled with tears. "How I have hated you, Severus! And, Merlin, how I hate you now!"

Snape shook his head in a sort of incredulous pity and quietly replied, "You should hate the man to whom, on the contrary, you never ceased to proclaim your reverence. Yet you are alive, Lucius, and you still have a family..."

"They are the only reason I chose to survive," the man replied, dashing a trembling hand on his eyes.

"How is Narcissa?" Snape gently asked, hoping to offer a diversion. Again Malfoy reacted in fury.

"Don't you dare pronounce her name! You, you who have..."

"Sealed an Unbreakable Vow with her to protect your son?" Snape ironically suggested.

The man raised a shaky finger. "You lied to her and to Bellatrix!"

"But my lie saved Draco."

This quiet assertion seemed to unexpectedly strike home. Malfoy backed, still vibrating in pain, and crossed his arms. For a moment, his eyes narrowed with a cunning expression that deformed his aristocratic features.

"Yes..." He breathed slowly. "Draco. Your pretext. The perfect excuse you held to for so long."

He raised his head, watching the portrait in contempt, then attacked cruelly. "You say you saved my son... Yet he didn't come here today to thank you. And do you know why? Because I've told him the truth!"

Smiling vindictively, Lucius continued harshly, "Knowing how close we were, Draco has asked me about your double role. I confirmed to him that, apart from Dumbledore, you have constantly lied, used and sacrificed everybody around you for your own goals. And perhaps you lied also to Dumbledore himself; I wouldn't be surprised. However, Draco now knows that your so boasted protection was nothing but a deliberate ruse. You used him as a pawn, and that's why he didn't come here today."

Saddened, Snape contemplated the triumphant Malfoy. So, he thought bitterly, that was the reason little Scorpius had looked so wary during his lessons.

The man in the portrait closed his eyes, struggling against the burning memories.

"No!" he then replied fiercely, raising his head to reject the accusation.

"No," he repeated. "I could not save those who had freely chosen their destiny, and you were amongst them. But I did my best to protect all the others."

He paused for a long moment, then he continued softly, "Draco followed your path because you were the father he loved and admired. He trusted you, while you left him alone and defenceless through your repeated failures."

A stab would have been less painful. An anguished, shocked expression altered the features of the man under the frame, draining his colour. And finally Malfoy broke. Hiding his face in his hands, he burst into the harsh, gasping sobs of an old man not used to weeping, letting his true feelings flow unreservedly with his tears.

"Narcissa was right. It's useless. I have failed."

Raising two reddened, hopeless eyes, Lucius opened his hands in a gesture of surrender. "I've sacrificed myself for Draco, but I lost him anyway. I thought I was creating a safer future for my family, offering my life to shelter them from a horrible punishment... but now my son blames me for my choices. That's why he didn't come here today."

His lips trembled in the effort of pronouncing the words that admitted his defeat. "He is ashamed. He doesn't want to be involved in the humiliation of our house."

He buried again his face in his hands. "Better dead as you are, Severus, than forced to live in perpetual shame."

A gasping sob shook him violently and he added, "Better dead than seeing my grandson lower his eyes in embarrassment when we walk in the street."

As if summoned by these words, the door opened slowly and Scorpius Malfoy peeked in.

"Grandpa?" he questioned timidly from the other side of the room and, unable to control his voice, Lucius managed a hesitant smile, blinking to hide his tears. But the boy didn't move, evidently uneasy before his grandfather, who struggled to compose himself.

"Come in, Scorpius," Lucius finally called, trying to sound confident and reassure the child with a lie. "Professor Snape was telling me about you. I am glad to hear that you are such a good student."

"Yes, Scorpius," Snape addressed the boy, who had cautiously arrived under the portrait. "I am happy to have seen your grandfather. He was once one of my best friends."

Lucius stared anxiously at Scorpius, and the boy stared back piercingly at the old man, then turned to look at the portrait. Snape lowered his head in a farewell.

"Be well, Lucius. Scorpius, I will see you tomorrow. Please send my best regards to your father. I hope I will see him too, one of these days."

Disoriented, Malfoy fumbled again for words; then, renouncing the fight, he dropped his head and reached for his grandson, placing a hand on his shoulder as if asking for support. The boy looked at the man with concerned eyes. The pressure on his shoulder and the extreme exhaustion of that old, loved face finally drove him to overcome his shyness. Taking a wrinkled hand into his, Scorpius asked in a whisper, "Have you been crying, grandpa?"

"Yes." Lucius breathed slowly then steadied his trembling lips. "Memories can be hurtful for a man as old as me. But Professor Snape is a wise friend. And now I have you to help me."

Instinctively, the boy tightened his grip, and Malfoy stopped and watched him closely, losing himself in the astounding grey of Scorpius' pale eyes, so similar to his. He awkwardly stroked the boy's white-blond hair.

"Now let's go out and have fun together. The party won't last forever, you know?"

Scorpius widened his eyes in incredulous, immense joy, blushing in pleasure. Lucius turned his head to look at Snape. The two men exchanged a long, silent gaze, then Lucius headed towards the door, clasping his grandson's hand with renewed force.

Alone again in the dimming light, Severus Snape sighed deeply. How pitiable the man under his portrait was, who had still the greatest of treasures -- life and family -- and yet was losing them to pointless pride!

The wizard lowered his eyes, while a dark anguish filled his heart. Slowly, insidiously, Lucius' vehement accusations -- the ones Snape had so disdainfully rejected -- raised their heads again and added their stinging pain to the words that Zabini had cast only a few days before. Their sound still seemed to vibrate in the air, and Snape felt an acrid taste in his mouth. Had he been able to dispense only sorrow and misery during his life? Had he really betrayed all those surrounding him for the sole benefit of that ambiguous power that Dumbledore used to call "the greater good"?

For many long, interminable moments, the portrait struggled against the bitter sensations rising inexorably in his soul. Alas! The fight was too powerful for his wounded spirit and, defeated, Snape closed his eyes, while a desperate yet impossible desire forced its way in his heart: for a moment, he saw himself slip out the tight boundaries of his frame and walk in the open air, enjoying the sun on his cheeks and the breeze in his hair, feeling the comfort of a warm hand clasping his...

No, what was still possible for Lucius would never be possible for him again: destiny had confined him to a picture, and there he would pass the rest of his existence, eternally wishing for what life had offered him but never delivered, because of his wrong choices.

For a long, long time, Snape watched the door with unseeing eyes: then, crossing his arms in his usual pose, he lowered his head and waited silently for the new day to come.