Five

Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world belong to JK Rowling. I write to learn. No money is being made.

Chapter 5

Hermione woke the next day with the smell of nature, musk, and neroli filling her senses. It was a very masculine smell. She took a deep breath and let the aroma saturate her awareness. When she opened her eyes, they fell on light grey sheets and a dark grey coverlet. She remembered that, for the third morning in a row, she was in a different bed.

This morning, it was Snape's.

Hermione heard what sounded like someone moving around the kitchen. Shaking herself awake, she glanced around the room. A clock on the nightstand read eight in the morning. With a yawn, she stretched and got out of bed. She had slept in the shirt Severus had given her the day before, and she hoped he would lend her another set of clothes for the day.

Hermione went onto the short balcony that provided access to the wall of books and saw Snape standing in the other loft over the stove.

"How do bangers and mash sound?" he asked without looking up.

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "Where did you get those? They weren't in your fridge yesterday."

He turned to her. "I've been up since six. I went to the market."

"Oh! I love the market! And, um, bangers sound fabulous."

Severus inclined his head. "Unless you intend to imagine yourself eating, I suggest you join me over here."

Hermione grinned as she made her way down the bedroom steps, across the short hall and up the kitchen steps. In some ways, Severus was more of an enigma now than he'd ever been. He still had the sharp edges, but the middle seemed softer, more flexible than before. He smiled easily and there was a warmth now that of which she never would have believed him capable.

When she reached the kitchen, Severus had set the table and was placing the pot on the table when she reached the top.

"Orange juice?" he asked.

"Yes, please," she said, taking a seat.

Severus poured the juice and sat across from her.

She thanked him and started eating. "Mm. I love Italian breakfast...the coffee and pastries...but I have missed these."

"How long have you been in Italy?" Snape asked conversationally after a few minutes of silence.

"Two weeks. Luna is getting..."

"Married, yes, you mentioned that. Where in Italy have you been?"

Slightly annoyed that he had cut her off again, Hermione didn't answer right away.

Severus sensed her irritation. "Oh, come now," he said. "You've got thicker skin than that. What does it matter that I have no interest in hearing of Miss Lovegood's impending nuptials?"

She sniffed. "I know you don't care," she replied tersely. "I think it's rude to interrupt when someone is speaking."

Severus nodded. "That I understand. Forgive me."

Hermione sat silently for a few moments slightly stunned at the easy way he had apologized, before answering his question. "We started in Venice, then went to the Lake region, then Milan and Florence. We were headed next to Rome and then Pompeii."

"At least you're in Rome," he said quietly.

"Right. I'm sure I'm missing nothing by being stuck inside here all day. Who needs to see the Colosseum, or the Roman Forum? Why bother, when there are books I haven't read?"

Severus frowned. "I'm sure you'll be able to return to Rome, after all of this, to see those things."

She waved him off. "At least I'm alive, right?"

He shrugged; his seeming lack of concern didn't fit with his action. Perhaps he resented her for interfering. Because of her, his mission had been ruined. He'd been forced to try and fix the mess that her intrusion had created, and now he had let her into his home, something he had never done before. She looked at her plate, suddenly not hungry. He probably did resent her.

"Are you finished?"

She mumbled an affirmative, and he stood to take her plate.

"So what happens now?" Hermione asked, forcing away the thoughts of anger, guilt and annoyance.

"Today I must work with Claire and Cole to construct the details of the meeting with Red Fox. Unfortunately, we will probably have to let the item they want go at a much reduced rate, since our side was the cause of the breech."

"I'm really sorry," Hermione said, the guilt resurfacing.

"Don't be," Severus responded quickly, turning on the water in the sink.

"I'll do the dishes," Hermione said. "You cooked ... it's only fair. Plus, I imagine you're going to be gone all day again, aren't you?"

He nodded. "Most likely." He turned around, leaned against the counter and started unpeeling a banana. "There is something you could do in order to further our plans."

"Name it," she said.

"There are a few potions I need brewed, one of which you will drink."

"Oh. I remember," she said, a flood of nerves rushing through her at the reminder of the upcoming mission. "Don't you keep some on hand?"

"Usually, yes. Two things, however. One, my stores are low and could use replenishing. Second, I figured you would be more comfortable drinking a potion you had brewed yourself."

Hermione shrugged. "You won't hurt me."

He blinked. "True. Nonetheless, it would still be helpful." He tapped his wand on the kitchen wall and a list of instructions appeared, just like they had done in school.

"Of course I'll brew the potions." A thought struck her suddenly. "Why did you never assign us books in class?" He turned around, surprised. "In Slughorn's class," she said, "we followed instructions from a book. You always put the information on the board."

Severus smirked. "You don't know the answer? Even after Potter's experience in your sixth year?"

Hermione bit her lip and thought hard. Harry had used Snape's old Potions book, she knew that, but it didn't help her. "You didn't like the books available?" she guessed.

"Partly, yes. The rest of the answer is that I always exceeded the books. Why do you think your assignments always turned out right in my class, but when you followed the instructions in Slughorn's book, the potions were unsuccessful?"

"You had already perfected the potions. Books could only take you so far, but when you saw that your attempts failed, you sought the truth."

He nodded. "Exactly. The subject of potions is a very exact science in execution. A fundamental understanding of certain ... properties is required in order to create new potions, or improve upon existing ones."

"I see."

Severus smiled. "I must be going. The potion requires full sun, which is why I could not brew it last night. There is a door at the back of the flat which leads to a small porch. I have Charmed it so that no one will see you when you are outside. Nevertheless, be careful."

She nodded. "Good luck, then," she said.

"Thank you. Have a good day."

ooo

Severus returned at a quarter-past-five. Hermione looked up when she heard the door shut to see him standing in the hallway, his brow furrowed. She was surprised at the warmth that filled her at the sight, despite his frown.

"Everything all right?" she asked.

He looked at her as though he were still contemplating a difficult decision. "Yes. Why?"

She shrugged. "No reason, just asking. You've been gone all day."

He removed his coat and then joined her on the sofa, sitting across from her. "How was your day?" he asked stiffly.

Hermione fought back a giggle at the absurd domesticity of his question. "Oh, fine. I finished the potion a few hours ago, and I've been reading, I did the dishes, alphabetized your books ..." Her grin faded when his frown didn't change. "How was yours?"

Severus sighed. "We're on for tomorrow. Ten in the morning."

Hermione looked away, the bundle of nerves from earlier that day reigniting. "Oh."

"The plan remains the same."

She nodded, biting her lip.

Severus leaned forward in his seat and folded his hands. "I have successfully completed ninety-seven hundred missions, most far more dangerous than this one."

"You're certain things will go smoothly?"

"We've already done the profiling for everyone involved. Unless something unforeseen happens, things will go as planned. Do not be concerned...when people break plans, people die, on both sides. No one wants that." Especially me, he added to himself.

Hermione sighed. "It's obvious I trust you." She met his gaze. "And I know I have to follow the plan exactly."

Severus nodded once. "I want to go over the details again, but ... I need a few moments of rest."

Hermione gave him a sympathetic smile. "Well, enjoy."

ooo

Severus woke from his nap and found Hermione in the kitchen, standing over the stove and watching the kettle.

"A watched pot never boils," he said, leaning against the wall. When she turned around and smiled, the kettle whistled. "See?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to fix her tea. "Have a nice nap?"

Severus muttered an affirmative and watched her move gracefully through the kitchen, going for the teabags and sugar, whose locations she already knew.

Hermione took her cup to the table after a moment, during which he watched her with a growing sense of nervousness and anticipation...and felt ridiculous for both. Still, he would not back down.

"Hermione," he began, hesitation apparent in his voice. He had been strongly debating with himself, and when she turned to ask him if he would like a cup, the fire in her eyes settled the issue.

She looked at him appraisingly.

He took a deep breath. "You've been stuck inside for nearly three days. I ... was wondering if you would like to go out for dinner."

Hermione's eyes widened, and Severus realized how his question sounded. He wasn't sure that he wanted to correct her thinking.

"I ... well, dinner out sounds nice," she finally said.

Severus nodded. "Will you be wearing that?"

Hermione blushed and glanced at her attire: lounge pants and another t-shirt. "No, I can wear the dress I had on when all of this started. I'll only need a few minutes."

Severus groaned softly as soon as she was out of earshot. Why had he mentioned what she was wearing? Now he'd brought attention to it and things would likely be awkward, at least at first.

Severus was pacing when Hermione, true to her word, reappeared after only six minutes. She cleared her throat to draw his attention, and when he looked up, his eyes widened slightly.

"I ... guess I'm ready," she said.

He tried not to stare, but lost the battle for a few seconds. Merlin, she was beautiful! He had seen her, days before, wearing the same dress, but the effect now was quite different. Before, he had noticed in a peripheral part of his brain that she was showing more skin than he was accustomed to, but now it hit him like a sledge hammer between the eyes. Had she changed so drastically in three days? No, it certainly wasn't her ...

She watched him expectantly, waiting for his response to her statement.

"I ..." He stopped, realizing his throat had gone dry. He cleared it and started again. "You look ..."

Hermione blushed and glanced at her feet, then at the door, then nervously back at him.

"Lovely," he finally choked out.

Hermione bit her lip. "Thank you," she said softly.

They stared at each other for a few moments which could have encompassed days, or even weeks, before Severus spoke.

"Now that the awkward portion of the evening is over," he said, standing and going toward the kitchen steps. "We've got to do something about it."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Severus pulled a bottle from the cabinet and returned to the sitting room. He held up the vial. "Do you recognize this?"

Hermione looked closely and smirked. She would know that potion anywhere. "Polyjuice."

"Correct. Since you are a marked woman, it wouldn't do to have you out and about Rome as you are." He pulled a small plastic bag from his shirt pocket and held it up. "She was about your size, I think."

"Who?"

Severus shrugged. "A woman on the street. Took me about an hour to find someone I thought would suit."

Hermione raised an eyebrow and moved to sit across from him. "Are you sure that's a human hair?" she asked warily as Snape dropped the strand into the bottle. The potion fizzed and hissed, finally settling on a dark shade of aqua.

"Of course," Severus returned. "Have you ever experienced a Polyjuice transformation?"

Hermione chuckled. "Yes. It was ... unforgettable."

"How so?" he asked, handing her the bottle. "Just two ounces. There is enough potion for four hours, though I don't foresee needing all that time. I hate to feel rushed."

"I'll tell you at dinner," she mumbled, eyeing the bottle one last time before taking a drink. Seconds later, she felt the potion start working. Hermione went into the small downstairs bathroom and looked in the mirror. She was a different person, with dark brown, straight hair, olive colored skin and dark eyes. She looked ... Italian. Exotic, even. Severus had chosen a very beautiful woman from whom to steal a strand of hair. This must be his taste in women now, though Hermione noted she looked nothing like Lily Potter.

She remembered that Snape had said it took him nearly an hour to find someone ... suitable. If the woman in the mirror was suitable, what on earth passed for desirable? Briefly, she recalled that he had said she was lovely, but she dismissed it in light of the new evidence staring at her.

Hermione took a deep breath. Her attraction to Severus was a long-shot at best, and she had known it from the beginning. She hadn't given a single thought to the possibility that something between them was even possible. Still, the proof was literally staring back at her with the perfect face and full, red lips ... and it was rather distressing to learn just how far from suitable she was in his eyes.

No matter. She would enjoy the evening out regardless.

When she rejoined Severus, he looked at her and nodded. "I wonder what kind of accent you'll have," he said with amusement.

"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed, a stranger's voice in her ears. "I'd forgotten that part." It was strange. Her mind was her own, but the vocal cords belonged to the other woman. She didn't know Italian, and it was possible the woman didn't know much English. Hermione's words were an odd combination of English with a heavy Italian accent.

Severus chuckled. "I tried to find someone with a particularly strong accent. This woman is Sicilian, I believe. I've always wondered ..."

"Wonderful," said Hermione. "Can we go?"

"After you," Severus replied, opening the door after unlocking the wards.

ooo

They were nearly through their meals before either of them noticed that almost two hours had passed and the restaurant was nearly empty. None of the tables around theirs was occupied. Hermione had started the meal, as promised, with the story of second year's Polyjuice experiment. Severus had been incredulous to learn that not only had she been behind the theft of his stores, but she had also been the impetus behind the brewing of the very complicated potion in her second year.

From there, the conversation moved, never falling into uncomfortable silence. The waiter had just refilled their wine glasses, and when Hermione took a drink, she saw Severus's face turn serious.

He pushed the remnants of his Secondi, a dish of wild duck, around on his plate, then met her eyes. After a soft 'Muffliato', he leaned forward and said, "I wanted to tell you that I've given serious thought to the question you asked the other day."

"Oh?" she replied, interested.

Severus nodded, thoughtful. "I meant what I said, that I hoped to quit this kind of life soon. However, I could have left it much sooner."

"Go on," she prompted.

"When I started, I meant to do this for five years. I would live simply, save everything extra, and then bow out and move on. This job was supposed to be a means to an end. Instead, it has become a way of life. I certainly don't need a flat as nice as the one I own, and it isn't cheap. If I had spent differently, I could have quit.

"However, I spent nearly twenty years of my life as a double agent. There were ... are parts of that role I relished, most prominently being able to deceive the Dark Lord as thoroughly as I did. It was a feat that I, alone, seemed capable of, and it gave me an odd feeling of pride in my work. I was good at what I did. I had to deceive the Order, keep them wondering throughout so that if the time came, I could convincingly leave."

"You certainly did that," Hermione said.

Severus continued. "There has been only one time in my life when I considered ... settling down. It was ... very long ago, and not meant to be."

"Lily Evans."

He clenched his jaw and gave a slight nod. "I haven't thought of such a life since. I had no choice, really. Throughout my career as a spy, I could not...would not...consider bringing someone into it whom I might, at some juncture, have to disappoint. In addition, my focus was needed on the task at hand."

Hermione nodded, appreciating his honesty and understanding yet another sacrifice he had made for Dumbledore and Harry.

"It would be safe to say that such a mentality became a habit, and even though this present job is not nearly as dangerous as my former role, it still carries the potential consequence of death for making mistakes. It was natural to continue my long-established pattern of avoiding relationships." He took a sip from his wine and continued. "This doesn't mean I intend to quit this life and start right away with that life. For one thing, it would take time. However, in order to achieve those other aspects of the human experience, I must first do something other than this."

Severus paused and glanced at Hermione, who was watching him intently. It troubled him to see a stranger sitting before him, even though he knew it was her. "Since your sudden appearance in my life, I have felt a desire to be ... myself." He dropped his voice. "I am a wizard. It would be nice to be around people from whom I don't have to hide this fact." He focused on the edge of the table, speaking more to himself than to Hermione. "I would like to have someone from whom I have no secrets." Then he seemed to remember Hermione's presence but didn't look at her. "I do not wish to spend the rest of my life as a Muggle."

"What do you want to do?" she asked.

He was grateful she hadn't mentioned anything else he had said. The only problem was he didn't have an answer for her.

"I don't really know. In my life, I have taught Potions and one year of Defense Against the Dark Arts. My year as Headmaster of Hogwarts hardly bears mentioning. I have no desire to teach, especially at Hogwarts."

"You could have been a really good teacher," she interrupted, "if you hadn't played favorites and berated and intimidated your students."

Severus laughed from deep inside. He was still grinning when he responded; Hermione looked confused. "That's what makes it interesting!" he said. "It's far more rewarding than you can imagine to see the students," ... he looked at her pointedly ... "who do well despite my ... teaching style."

Hermione frowned. "But you might see success from more students if you were nicer, more encouraging. Not everyone could look past your icy, hard demeanor and biting discourse to want to learn the subject. For most people, a less hostile environment is more conducive to learning."

Severus picked up his knife and started to twirl it through his fingers. "I did not accept mediocrity in my N.E.W.T. level potions. I wanted the best."

"You wanted the ones with the thickest skin," she argued.

He shrugged. "It generally worked out that way. Only those who truly enjoyed the subject would attempt a N.E.W.T. in it. If you like something enough, you can ignore the less pleasant aspect of it."

Hermione sniffed. "Your classes went beyond 'less pleasant.' Honestly, Severus, you were unnecessarily cruel to Harry, Neville and me."

He pursed his lips. "Let's talk about something else."

Hermione raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

"Whatever I do, I won't be returning to England," he said with an air of finality.

"Why not?"

"I meant it when I said I had no desire to compete with Potter for attention."

"But it's your home," she protested.

"There is nothing there for me," he said.

"What do you have here?" she asked, ignoring the dangerous tone in his voice.

He clenched his jaw. Nothing, really. Just parts of a life he couldn't share. "It's not there."

Hermione nodded solemnly. "That I understand."

Severus waited, but she did not elaborate.

"Still, it's where you've spent most of your life," she continued. "It would be easiest to go there over most places, especially if you want to return to the magical world."

Severus stared at her, incredulous. "Easiest." He paused. "How can you say that?"

He noticed then a hint of mischief in her eyes that hadn't been there before, and his stomach dropped in dread. She was scheming. He would know that look anywhere.

"I really think it's possible," Hermione said. He wasn't sure if she was speaking to him or not. "Tricky, of course, but it would have to be ..." Finally she looked at him. "You want to be as inconspicuous as possible, right?"

"Of course," he answered warily, watching her closely as though she might burst into triumphant song or some other such horrible display.

"That's really not possible, if you want to live in the wizarding world. Everyone knows your name and your story. You are bound to cause a stir wherever you go."

"Most especially England," he said insistently.

"True, but we could work with that," she said, the wheels still spinning. "Everyone in England has an opinion about you. The men want to make you a tragic hero. The women ... well, you're highly sought after."

Severus snorted.

"At least, the characteristics publicly attributed to you, as extrapolated from your actions in the war, are highly sought after."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Rubbish."

"I know that. But they don't. You have truly been immortalized. You can do no wrong. All the women want you, you know. You can't possibly be anything but the perfect lover. Essays and articles have been written on the subject proving it. You would have a queue a mile long."

"You're doing an excellent job of convincing me that England is that last place on earth I would want to go."

She was practically bouncing in her seat. "No, don't you see? It's perfect. It would only take two, maybe three dates before everyone realized you aren't perfect. They'll realize you're just the same as before, and well ..." She bit her lip.

"No one liked me before," he finished for her.

"I didn't mean that."

"It's what you were thinking," he said.

Hermione looked as though she was struggling to find a suitable response, and then she finally gave up. "Oh, bother. You didn't exactly make yourself very likeable."

Severus quirked an eyebrow. "That's true ..."

"All I'm saying is that you could act like that again. Once people see that you aren't the saint they've painted you, interest in you will plummet. If we time it right, say you return just when Harry and Ginny are about to have their baby...they aren't pregnant now, of course, but they're trying...we could significantly reduce the attention focused on you." She finished as enthusiastically as she had begun.

"We?" he asked pointedly.

Hermione reddened and looked at her plate. "I just meant ... if you wanted help ..."

Severus fought a smile. She really was very engaging when she was embarrassed. He wondered just how ... lovely he could make her. "I'm curious, Hermione. Did you get caught up in all the speculation the way that, to hear you tell it, all the women in England did?"

Her head shot up, and she glared at him, her eyes burning. "You know very well that 'all the women' is an exaggeration. And no, I didn't join in all the talks about what your preferred position might be," she spat. "I knew you well enough that I would never be able to forget just how horrible you would be." She took a breath. "Nor would I have ever in my wildest dreams imagine you could be anything but."

It was an automatic response that Hermione instantly regretted. He'd hit too near the mark and she attacked out of self-defense.

Severus kept his expression empty. Her words stung, but he had hit some sort of nerve. She wasn't upset about the past...they'd already danced around that topic, and it had remained untouched. So ... what was it?

"And now?" he asked calmly.

Hermione sputtered, and her expression changed at least ten times before settling on indifference. "Now ... well, obviously, I've had a pleasant enough time. You've been ... very civil. Nice, even. Though I suspect it is largely due to guilt at my involvement."

Severus laughed. He looked at Hermione through smiling eyes. "Naturally, it's ridiculous to think I could be civil or nice without some underlying motivation."

Hermione set her jaw and frowned at him.

"It must be impossible that I could have ... enjoyed our time together. Difficult, though it may be."

She reddened again at that, and Severus felt an odd twisting inside him that was as uncomfortable as he had intended to make her. He hadn't felt that particular sensation since .... Well.

"Are you ready to go?" he asked, avoiding her eyes.

"Yes," she said faintly.

Severus paid despite Hermione's insistence they split the bill. He argued that it was the least he could do considering he had kidnapped her.

"You mean rescued," she corrected, smiling faintly.

He nodded, a feeling of panic coming over him as her smile sent a jolt of longing through him.

They walked back. Severus had so many extensive wards on his flat that they would have only been able to Apparate a few blocks from where they were. He kept a moderate pace; it was no leisurely stroll, but he wasn't in a hurry either.

As they passed one street light and then another, the silence started to eat at him. He'd always been comfortable in stillness, but now, after their conversation, it felt strange and oppressive.

Perhaps she felt the same, because she spoke. "Severus ..."

"Hmm?" he replied, tilting his head to hear her better.

"About before. I was ... upset, with myself. What I would have said, had I been in a better mood, was that that I have been nothing but pleasantly surprised since we ran into each other in Florence. You've been kind and thoughtful, engaging me in interesting conversations .... It's been a very nice kidnapping experience, all around." She grinned at him. "Rescuing, I mean."

Severus was entirely taken off guard by her comments. The twisting in his gut became impossible to ignore, and he frowned at the sidewalk beneath his feet. What did she expect him to say? Something similar? Perhaps that he hadn't been able to get her off his mind since the first day, or that the thought of returning to his life as it had been before her grew less appealing every minute he was with her.

Desperately trying to think of something to say to fill the even more oppressive silence, divided between two paths, Severus remained silent for three blocks.

Finally Hermione sighed. "You don't have to say anything," she said, wrapping her arms around herself as though cold. Then, "Oh!"

He looked to see that her hair was quickly turning from dark brown to her natural color, and her curls were becoming visible. In moments, she looked like herself again.

He tensed. "Where is the bottle?"

She shook her head. "I'm not afraid. We're nearly there, and I trust that between us, we would be successful if anyone decided to bother us."

"All right ..." He trailed off, taking a mental inventory of his wand and his gun.

Hermione shrugged. "It doesn't matter. I ... I wanted to say what I said, and I meant it. You've been really wonderful in helping me through this crazy mess and keeping the real Rebecca safe. I'll never forget that."

Severus's heart clenched at the reminder that she would be leaving the next day. How was it possible he could grow so attached to someone in so short a time as three days? Was it really because of her? Or was it simply that she was someone from whom he didn't have to hide? Time was running out to discover the answer. He was to the point where he couldn't even truthfully say he was sorry she had been caught up the 'crazy mess.'

"It's unfortunate that we had to run into each other under such ... difficult circumstances," he said.

He didn't look at her, but he could feel the questioning gaze burning a hole in the side of his face.

The walk from the restaurant was so awkward, so tense, that before he knew it, they were standing outside the door to his flat. He stared at the number as though wishing he could change it to mean something else. Hermione was standing beside him, her hands clasped in front of her, waiting. She hadn't left, even though she'd had numerous opportunities. She had wanted to make sure he was all right, that he would be okay despite her interrupting his mission. She had stayed to help him, and soon she would be leaving.

There was no more time.

Severus turned and met her eyes, seeing a wealth of emotions in them, spinning and twirling and dancing with the lights on the street. She was so close, so real, so beautiful.

He stared at her long enough that she quirked an eyebrow and started to smile. "Are we going inside?" she asked softly.

"Hermione," he said, his voice rougher than he'd intended.

Her eyes widened ever so slightly as she watched him, standing undecided on the steps. "Yes?"

He didn't think. He had to know, had to see if there was something more he would be losing the next day. Not knowing would have been far worse. In a flash, Severus pulled her to him, bringing his lips to meet hers before she could conceivably know what was happening. He held onto her wrist, keeping her in place while he waited for whatever direction would come.

He simply wasn't prepared for what happened next, hadn't considered that it might be possible.

Hermione leaned into him, moving her free arm to wrap around his neck as she kissed him back. Severus was so surprised and consumed by her fiery tongue that he didn't notice when she turned him and pushed him firmly against the door. Only when he felt her flush against him did it register that pressure was being exerted on his back to hold him in place.

He needed his key. And why did he have so many wards on his flat? At least they required nonverbal passwords, as his lips and mouth were otherwise engaged. He had never tried opening his door with his eyes closed, at night, backwards, with his brain floating in a haze.

Finally, he felt Hermione smile against his lips as she pulled her hand from his grip. She reached around him, took his keys and unlocked the door on her first try. The thought that she seemed to have had experience with doors under such circumstances flitted through his mind before she moaned and all thought disappeared.

Once inside the flat, Hermione shut the door and then pulled him by the collar to kiss her again. He certainly made no objections and wrapped his arms securely around her waist. Severus had never been so turned on in his life as she continued to control the tempo and intensity of the kiss.

Suddenly, Hermione drew back, and Severus reluctantly opened his eyes. Hermione's eyes were lowered, the lashes obscuring the expression in them, and she was biting her lip. Confused, his body screaming at him to kiss her already, he said, "What is it?"

"I ... I'm really going to miss you."

He froze and the full weight of his reality, of her presence in his life, crashed around him. She said exactly what he had wanted to hear...something which indicated that she might feel the same as he did...but also the worst thing imaginable. She would be gone the next day; none of it mattered. He'd been such a fool.

She was puzzled by his sudden mood shift, and he took advantage of her inaction, putting a few feet of distance between them.

"Severus?"

"What?" he snapped.

She flinched at the anger in his voice. "What's wrong?"

In just a few seconds, he managed to build an entire fortress against her in his mind with stick, steel doors. "Nothing. Everything is exactly as it should be." He crossed his arms. "I suggest we get to sleep. You especially have a difficult day ahead."

She frowned. "What? That's ... it? I'm dismissed?"

"What did you expect would happen next?"

"I...I hadn't thought...I wasn't exactly thinking. I just went with it."

"You weren't thinking," he said bitterly. "I'm glad one of us was. Nothing can come out of this. How did that escape your notice?" The irony of his words astonished him. Moments earlier, he'd wanted to see what he was feeling and discovered that it was most definitely her, and nothing else, that he wanted. Now he was telling her that they had no future. How could they?

Hermione seemed at first hurt and then angry. "You kissed me," she said accusingly.

"Temporary insanity."

She rolled her eyes. "Obviously I gave you far too much credit. Goodnight."

She stalked up the stairs. Severus heard the glasses in his cabinets rattle when she slammed the bathroom door.

ooo

End Notes: Thank you for reading!

Beta Credits: I cannot thank my betas enough for their help on this story. This was my first sshg story and I'm pretty sure it will be obvious. Many thanks to Bambu and Shug! :D