The Dear John Letters
Elise_Wanderer35 Reviews | 7.51/10 (35 Ratings, 0 Likes, 44 Favorites )
Letters in search of a noble end. And a pair of knickers.
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About Elise_Wanderer
Author
Elise_Wanderer
Member Since 2008 | 5 Stories | Favorited by 62 | 555 Reviews Written | 567 Review Responses
I stumbled onto the Potterverse in the summer of 2007, the weekend that DH came out, which was also the weekend I had a screening of the latest film. I reread HBP after starting DH and realizing it had been awhile, so, by the end of that weekend, I was overdosed on Harry Potter . . . and needed a fix! I stumbled onto SS/HG fics. These turned out to be far and away my favorite of these writings, in part because they're almost all wickedly erotic, funny as hell, deeply moving, and a vindication of intelligence as the ultimate aphrodisiac!
In RL I am an actor and a writer.
Reviews for The Dear John Letters
Hee, very funny, especially Snape's flowery and grandeloquent letters. Nicely done!
Hermione was absolutely fabulous! You are very impressive with the level of interaction between the two. The dialogue is wonderful and love how snappy they are.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you so much! I think she's very much up to his level in witty comebacks and perception. Thanks for reviewing--it encourages me to write!
groveling really does not become severus, does it? the only complaint I have is that he uses "sweet innocence" twice. cheese....gorgonzola...limburger...this just gets more and more comical as it goes on. I love the juxtaposition of hermione's voice and severus's. what melodrama. I want a dramatic reading, done by a woman in a flowing white 19th-century-romantic-poet dress and a man in a tux.actually, I just love hermione's voice, period.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
I think he starts this a little stuck in the self-pitying mode, and she definitely shakes him out of his visit to the cheese shop. And I love her voice, too--it was so much fun to write!I'd adore having a dramatic reading, as well--though I think I might give him his usual frock coat (buttoned everywhere, of course!) and let her wear the trendiest, sexiest, slinkiest thing she could find.Thank you so much for the detailed review!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
*bows*Thanks for reviewing (and so eloquently!) --you made my night!
"You Self-Flagellating, Self-Righteous, Snivelling Fuckwit" and " Severus, you gormless tosser" This was just as deeply funny the second time as the first! I was laughing so hard I was slapping my knee and stomping the foot that that knee is attached to. Thank goodness it's still a bit chill outside lest the neighbors hear my cackling and wonder "WTF?"
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Don't hurt yourself! You've given me a vision of a peculiar little neighborhood brouhaha...and it's making me laugh, too!Thanks for the lovely review!!
This is fantastically hilarious. I was pointed this way by robisonrocket, and I am so glad she recommended this gem. Bravo!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you, robisonrocket, and thank you, littlebeloved! I'm so glad you read it and liked it--I enjoy your writing, as well!*bows humbly*
*has been called a plonker by several irritated British men and thinks it was hilarious* This was brilliant! You did a great job of revealing Snape's wrestling emotions bit by bit without ever allowing him to lose that snark we all love - even in his letter of surrender. Bravo, and I look forward to more from you!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Those Brits certainly do have a way with the language, don't they? It just makes it brilliant to write.Thanks for recognizing the gradual shift--that was the other thing that was so much fun to do with this piece. They do both surrender, but without ever losing what it is that makes them both so wonderful, as individuals and as one of the best couples ever!And, thanks to kind, supportive reviews, there is indeed more to read. Thank you so much, you marvelous plonker!
OMG! I have officially laughed myself silly. This is definitely a perfect Hermione "of the angry canaries" Granger. I have learned new words and new ways to use old ones. Thank you so very much!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Let the canaries fly!So glad to enrich your vocabulary. My English teachers over the years would be proud.Thank you for the delicious review!
This was so much fun to read!Witty and well written!Thanks for sharing!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
'Twas great fun to write, as well!Thank you for reviewing--it means a lot to know I'm connecting with readers like you!
*gigglesnort*Can I tell you how glad I am that I wasn't consuming a beverage when I read this?? Holy Crap! This was wonderful, and I absolutely adored her no nonsense approach to handling Severus.She ought to write a book. *grin*Well done!GG
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
I'm terribly glad you didn't have to suffer the old milk-through-the-nose bit (not to mention the Coke splattered on the keyboard routine!).She should write a book: "Women Are From Venus, Men Are From That Dark Place Where They Don't Deserve to Be Happy and Women Need to Rescue Them From It With a Creative Vocabulary. And a Pair of Knickers"Thank you so much for your review!!
Very amusing! :D They are obviously made for each other...
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Oh, they are indeed! And that is what makes 'em so much fun to write!Thank you for reviewing!
love it and good use of british slang. I can't see anything out of place and hermione comes across as someone royally pissed off which I would be to in her situation. I would warn you however to be carefull about how much british slang you use in other fictions as characters who use a lot of it can come across to us as quite 'common' (don't know if americans use that word so best refer to 'chav' or 'pikey' if you don't)I'm happy to help if you need a brit picker or someone to run phrases past and as I said I love this! It's really good!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you so much for your caution, your kind words, and your offer! I think this may have been a one-time exercise on my part--Hermione in particular just kind of got away from me in all her righteous indignation, and she somehow demanded to talk like that here. If the muse grabs me like that again, I will most certainly run things by you, as I wantto keep these voices as authentic as a pikey Yank is able!Thank you for writing!
That was delightful! I enjoyed her progression from outright anger to being sweeter. Laughed out loud a few times. Great job!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you so much, and sorry I didn't respond sooner. I do very much appreciate a lovely review!
Hehehe... enjoyed this!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
So glad you did--it was great fun to write!
This was hilarious. The insults were well worth the read, and the snark was thick and furious.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Nothing better than a lot of really well-aimed insults, especially between two people who can really appreciate them! Thanks so much for reviewing--sorry I didn't respond sooner, I didn't know there were so many nice messages here!
Flamming brilliant........
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you! And thanks for reviewing!!
Excellent fun! :)
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you! Glad to be of service!
Absolutely bloody brilliant!
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you, m'dear--I had a blast writing this one, and I appreciate your review!
Absolutely delightful. I'm kind of cackling and oddly touched at the same time.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
That is so nice to hear! I find them both extraordinarily funny and extraordinarily sweet, as well--in my head, they "get" each other, in ways no one else will (except all of us who love them together, of course!).Sorry I didn't answer this sooner--I didn't get notification that I'd been receiving reviews, or believe me I would've been running back here like a little bunny! Your words mean a great deal to me. Thank you!
Rofl! Absolutely hilarious story!
Hermione's letter are awesome, especially "You Self-Flagellating, Self-Righteous, Snivelling Fuckwit,"
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
I do love that particular one myself. (Inspired, of course, by such tradition as "Jane, you ignorant slut.")Now get off the floor, you'll get your knickers all dirty.Thank you so much for the review!!
Yes! Absolutely , Hermione is aewsome when she gets her fight on! I thought how you ended it was HILARIOUS! Great job!Livvy
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thanks ever so! I quite enjoyed using the knickers throughout, and I'm so glad to have you along for the ride--thank you for the lovely review!
oh fantastic. I love it, and that second to last sentence was pure brilliance
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Thank you! "Pure brilliance." You have indeed made my day!!
I'm glad Severus has finally come to his senses and ask her to come back. Stupid sense of honour of his.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Yes, he can be such a silly wanker, can't he? So good he has Hermione to bring him back 'round! They are, in my mind, the perfect pair.Thanks for the review!
Fabulous and very, very amusing. It reminds me of the kind of humor in Blackadder III.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
Now that is high praise indeed!Thanks for reviewing!
lol! love conquers all, with a bit of assistance from Hermione! Nice one.
Response from Elise_Wanderer (Author of The Dear John Letters)
He's so lucky to have her on his side. Even when she's throwing things at him. Even if they are "just" words.Thank you for the review!!