Attempt 11: Remus Lupin

Attempt 11: Remus Lupin

It would be prejudicial of me to reject all werewolves on the assumption that they were all like Greyback, so I briefly considered recruiting Remus Lupin.

I did so by attempting to lure Remus Lupin with promise of cure for lycanthropy, but he was too honourable to take it. Then again, I DO NOT have the cure for that, so that may be why he turned down my generous offer.

Then I attempted to lure him with the promise of resurrecting his dead friend, James Potter. But to be honest, I do not quite know how I will manage that. Therefore, said lure may have lacked something. (Reminder to self: Be less enthusiastic about killing off other people’s friends and their families in the future.) It is rather difficult to keep all the different threads of the tapestry of intrigue I am trying to weave when people get mopey about me killing off their bosom bows et cetera, et cetera. It makes it difficult for me to work

Having failed to tempt him with the lures of a cure for his “condition” and the resurrection of his dead friend, I ventured to attempt to lure him with promises of unspeakable sensual delights. He refused. Of course, he would have! I had forgotten his close links with his fellow canis lupus, Sirius Black.

I had to resort to dosing his beer with opiates and arranging for Lucius to tell him the next morning that he must have had a bad night and hallucinated the whole conversation I allegedly had with him.

On a later date when he actually transforms into his werewolf form, I will send Goyle senior to him with some of those “Scooby Snacks” I saw on a Muggle television programme. It just might work. Failing which, I must find a means for him to die in a horrible and meaningless manner.