Chapter 7: Truths

Snape had spent enough time alone to contemplate his decisions in life, banishing some memories temporarily with firewhisky and others more permanently in a Pensieve, to know that Hermione had been partially right. He had never felt the need to explain himself to anyone other than Dumbledore before, until now.

Hermione was awake when a knock on her door made her look at the clock. Most people would have still been asleep, but as sleep had eluded her for the past few days, she had become closely acquainted with the first light of dawn. She sat staring at the door, thinking that the person on the other side might be inclined to leave if no one answered. The knock came again, harder this time.

She shuffled her way to the door. “Who is it?”

Snape paused on the other side of the door. He finally answered, “Severus Snape.”

He was not sure if the door would open at that point, so he added, “I’ve come to collect the money for helping you.”

After a minute, the door opened and Hermione threw a drawstring pouch at him. He stepped in before she could slam the door shut.

“I thought I should answer your question also.”

Hermione looked at him, confused.

“The why,” he answered her look.

“I made the Horcrux to protect myself. If Voldemort ever found out that I was spying for Dumbledore and working for the Order, he would have killed me on the spot. His suspicions would have been enough; there would have been no warning. I had valuable information that Dumbledore and the Order would need.

“I was not always able to share everything with Dumbledore, but upon my death, I needed a way to tell him everything, so I put the memories that he would need in a Pensieve. Then when the times got darker, I became afraid that some memories may never make it to Dumbledore. So, I decided to create a Horcrux, and the Pensieve seemed the perfect tool.”

Hermione was still standing with her hand on the doorknob, prepared to open the door again, this time for him to leave.

“And these memories?” she asked.

“You destroyed them.”

She knew she could not enter his mind to see if what he was saying was the truth. Deceit had poisoned her trust of him more than once.

“You could have stopped me.”

“After I had gone to the effort of revealing the location of the Horcrux? No, I needed it destroyed. Once I sent that owl to the Ministry, there was no turning back.” Snape leaned into her and whispered. “I just never expected it would be you destroying it.” He turned and found the nearest chair, fatigue catching up to him.

“Why would you give away the location? If you were the Secret Keeper, no one would need to ever be the wiser.” Hermione had a tinge of doubt in her voice.

“The house was protected by a Fidelus Charm. Of course, Dumbledore had the address, along with a few Order members. With Voldemort gone, there is no longer a need for those memories.”

“And?” Hermione pried. “I am supposed to believe that you would just give up a chance at a second life?”

“After all the things I have seen and had to do in this life, yes,” he said. “A Horcrux is one piece of Dark magic that I do not want held over my head for the rest of my life. If someone had wanted to use it against me, they could have. It is better that it has been destroyed.”

Hermione sat down on the ottoman, looking at him closely for the first time since he had entered. His face was scratched on the right side, a result of him being thrown into the wall during the curse breaking. She automatically reached up to touch the marks; his hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her. His eyes locked with hers; he turned her wrist over, placed the pouch of money in her hand and closed her fist around it.

“I can’t take your money.” He stood to leave.

Hermione stood with him; she leaned into him and whispered, “I never expected it would be you helping me.”

Snape realized that his hand was still over hers; he gave her hand a light squeeze. Hermione dropped the pouch and squeezed his hand back. Snape leaned down towards her, the space between them just a thin wisp of air. The clock on the mantle chimed the hour; Snape pulled back.

“I should be going,” he said, not really wanting to leave.

Hermione nodded, lowering her eyes, and walked towards the door in front of him. Half-way the short distance to the door, Snape reached out for her, catching hold of her hair at the base of her neck, stopping her forward motion and turning her head into him. His first kiss landed on the side of her mouth as he turned her completely to him. His lips pressed hard into hers, forcing her mouth to relinquish, and her body to surrender to his. Hermione felt as if every breath she took was taken from him, drawn out from his body into hers. She was not sure if it was his pulse or hers vibrating thorough her body.

His tongue breached her lips, his hands tangled in her hair, grazing the back of her neck, making her shudder. Her whole body tightened in response to him. Snape ran his hands across her shoulders and down her arms; he took both her hands in his as he broke the kiss.

“Come with me,” he said.

Hermione stood there, her body aching for him and could suddenly think of no reason not to.

With the Horcrux destroyed and the Fidelus Charm lifted, Snape set up residence in the small house, making a few modifications and setting up a potions lab. He much preferred the country to Spinner’s End.

Hermione had returned the Portkey to the Ministry of Magic after she had finished the case, but Snape had made her a new one that she wore on a chain around her neck just below the dragon amulet. Snape unofficially helped her when she and Tubersnuf had a complicated case, and Hermione unofficially lived in a small country house in Scotland with a man she never expected.