Parts 47-56

Severus stared at the empty doorway, the journal clutched in his left hand. Shaking his head, he returned to his seat. “That was an interesting visit.” His eyes narrowed. “He had best hope we do not cross paths again any time soon.”

Holding the journal on his lap, he absentmindedly stroked the leather binding. Glancing down at the book, something caught his eye; the corner of one page appeared to be folded over. Curious, he opened the book only to discover that Hermione had written on several pages. He slowly ran his fingertips over her familiar scrawl. My dearest Severus …

***

There had been no choice. She had fought the compulsion – and its accompanying nausea – for as long as possible before contacting Harry. She had betrayed Severus. Her stomach lurched, and she staggered to the bathroom to splash cool water onto her face and neck. Lifting her head, she stared at her reflection in the mirror. “Traitor,” she whispered. “You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve his trust or his love.” Unable to endure the sight of herself, she raised her fists, pounding them against the glass until it broke, the jagged edges cutting into her skin as she screamed, “TRAITOR!”

***

… I do not deserve your forgiveness, but I do love you – more than you will ever know. Yours Always, Hermione.

Closing the journal, Severus lifted stunned eyes to Hermione’s unconscious form. Page after page had been filled with her thoughts and emotions during the time she had been bound by the Vow. She had been consumed with guilt, consistently fighting the compulsion of her oaths until she became ill – and, she loved him. He might not have believed the words had she spoken them, but written here, where only truth could abide, he had no choice but to believe her.

***

Hermione shakily cast a Healing Charm on the cuts to her hands before cleaning up the blood with a quick Scourgify. Despite the trembling and nausea, she managed to walk to her bedroom where she collapsed onto the bed. Staring at the ceiling, she pondered her decision to visit Severus in Azkaban. He was a Legilimens, and if he should happen to see ... she would be dead before he even completed the spell. It didn’t matter. She had to see him, even if she couldn’t look him in the eyes. She couldn’t bear to see the hatred in them anyway.

***

Severus had spoken with the Healer-in-Charge to inform him of what he had discovered regarding Hermione’s condition. The consensus had been that her ongoing reticence regarding the Vow and the nausea that came with it, combined with a lack of sleep and proper nutrition, had been the cause of her collapse. The Healer believed that she would regain consciousness at any time, but she would remain weak until she started taking better care of herself. Severus would make sure she did just that – even if he had to tie her to the bloody bed himself. He wouldn’t lose her now.

***

Hermione was slowly drifting toward consciousness, her memories surfacing one on top of the other until all she knew was a cacophony of emotions.

“Must you listen to that infernal music? … Dance with me … Hermione, I am a grown man. If I want to leave my socks on the bathroom floor, I will … Why would you want a bitter, old man like me? … Of course, I brush my teeth, you harpy … I love you … Mine … I shall see you tomorrow, dearling … How could you? … Lies! … I never want to see your lying, deceitful face … LEAVE ME!”

Helplessly, she pleaded, “Severus.”

***

“Sev’rus. No. Please.”

Instantly, Severus was at her side, reaching out to cradle her heart-shaped face in his hands. “Hermione!” Her eyelids fluttered as she struggled to open them until, finally, she awakened. He had barely suppressed a sigh of relief when she registered his presence. She began to sob uncontrollably, her body shaking with the effort to rein in her overwrought emotions.

“You hate me. Oh, gods, you hate me!”

Severus closed his eyes to stem his uncharacteristic tears. Gathering her stiffened body into his arms, he buried his face in her wild curls. “Shh, dearling. All is well.”

***

Hermione was completely undone, the effects of the Vow, her illness and her emotional trauma converging until she wanted to crawl out of her own skin. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry!” she screamed and cried, alternately clinging to him and pulling away, over and over until she collapsed against him in exhaustion. Only then did she hear the words he was whispering into her hair as he soothingly rubbed her back.

“Shh, dearling. I don’t hate you. I love you. Always. Shh.”

Silent tears escaped behind closed eyes. “How can you love me after what I’ve done?”

“Because I understand.”

***

He pulled away slightly and watched as her eyes widened in comprehension. He knew exactly what it was like to be accused of betrayal due to an Unbreakable Vow.

“I – I never thought of it that way.”

One corner of his mouth curved into the small smile that had always been reserved for her. “I am also quite familiar with guilt, Hermione.”

Hesitantly, she returned his smile. “I didn’t want to do it. You have to know –”

“Shh. I do know,” he said, nodding toward the journal. “You do realise that things cannot return to how they were before.”

***

Hermione felt her heart sink to her toes. Severus, however, was not finished. “I think it would be for the best if we had a fresh start – no Potter, no Vow, no deception. Just you … and me.”

The force of her relief hit her like a tidal wave, and she went limp in his arms. Tenderly, he laid her down, but continued to hold her hand in his.

“It is a pleasure to meet you. My name is Severus Snape,” he murmured, pressing a kiss into her palm.

Smiling through her exhaustion, she answered, “Hermione Granger … and I love you.”