Chapter Thirteen - And Courage Never to Submit or Yeild

Disclaimer: Anything you recognize belongs to JKR and/or Daniel Knauf. I do not profit from writing this story.

Author's Notes: CONTENT WARNING: This chapter contains sex, squick, and rape while heavily coated in angst.

-Nothing here would have been possible without the guidance and hard work of my beta, melusin.

---

Hermione clenched her jaw tightly, willing her teeth to stop chattering. The wet grass of the Hogwarts lawn clung to the hem of her robes, whipping about her legs and intensifying the freezing of her body. She couldn't understand why her Warming Charms weren't lasting longer than a few minutes. Maybe she was just too nervous to concentrate properly. But Hermione was absolutely certain of one thing...after tonight, she was going to constantly wear thicker robes during her nightly patrols about the castle.

This is so stupid, she scolded herself. She slightly stumbled over some jagged rocks hidden in the grass. I'm so stupid! What if something happens to me? No one will know I left the castle... how will they be able to find me!

In spite of her mounting apprehension, Hermione continued walking. Her calves ached in her attempt to make as little noise as possible by balancing herself mostly on the balls of her feet.

Once Sirius passed beyond Hogwarts' grounds, Hermione was expecting him to instantly Apparate to his destination. Yet Sirius held no thought of that means of travel and maintained the even, brisk pace he had started from the steps of the castle.

He must be heading towards Hogsmeade.

Hermione cautiously trailed behind Sirius down the main street of the small village. She randomly darted into doorways from time to time to prevent him from noticing her should he suddenly spin around. In need of a brief rest, her throat and lungs were burning from the frosty night breeze, even though her body was growing warm and sticky from perspiration.

At first, Hermione had to admit she was somewhat relieved to discover that his destination would be somewhere in this little town. She was very familiar with the area, although she had never wandered around outside Hogwarts...by herself...after dark. It calmed her to know that she was still within running distance of the castle.

But Sirius kept walking.

Approaching the pavement outside the Hog's Head, Hermione was struck by the fact that she had never trod very far beyond this pub before. Passing under the sign of the severed pig's head, Hermione swiftly glanced inside just as someone entered it. The numerous laughs and jeers of drunken witches and wizards surprised her. She couldn't remember ever seeing more than a handful of occupants at one time. Then again, she had never walked wizarding streets at night before, either.

Pausing in another doorway to allow Sirius a healthy lead, Hermione rapidly found herself wanting to turn back. The shops were spreading farther and father apart, separated by dark alleys and cracked walkways. The odd witch or wizard on the street seemed to have trouble walking, and the quality of the upkeep on the exterior of the buildings was quickly deteriorating.

Where the bloody hell is he going?

Shaking her head to expel her escalating doubt, Hermione thrust herself out of the doorway, hastily following behind Sirius. But she didn't have to wonder about his destination for very long. Sirius suddenly turned on his heel, stopping in front of the entrance of a small wooden cabin.

Hermione cursed under her breath, darting into the alley beside the building.

What is this place? Think, Hermione, think.... What should she do? Enter right behind him and pretend she naturally visited places like this in her free time? Attempt to sneak around inside? No, she didn't see how any of that was possible. Poking her head around the wall, Hermione eyed the entrance once more, inquisitively scrutinizing the various professional looking wizards gradually entering it.

She roughly inhaled when she noticed the single red lantern hanging above the doorway.

*** *** ***

"You have to go back, Pansy," Remus said sadly. Sitting up on the bed, he enjoyed the feel of her straddling him, but his better senses reminded him that they needed to be cautious.

"No, I don't." Her voice rose up and down, singing in that spoiled tone used regularly by females brought up to value money over love. She slowly trailed her hands along the side of his thighs. Her face was a mask of desire, shrouding the fright gnawing at her belly.

"You can't spend another night away from the castle! Someone will definitely notice you're gone. You've already snuck out twice this week." Grasping her by the waist, he attempted to lift her off his lap.

"But it's the weekend!" she whined, swatting his arms away.

Remus growled in frustration. He had never met such a hard-headed girl. "It doesn't matter."

Smiling wickedly, Pansy reached both hands behind her back. In one fluid motion, she unclasped her bra and slowly pulled the straps off her shoulders. Pansy's fingers deftly closed around Remus' hand, lifting it to skim across her hardening nipples.

"Tell me to leave," she said softly. She wanted him to take her right there. Quick, fast, and hard. She wasn't even certain if that was what she truly desired, but it was all she knew.

Remus only devoured her with his eyes. Lifting his other hand, he slid the back of his fingers under both of her pale breasts, delicately holding their weight. His hands and eyes possessed their own secret language, which awed and frightened Pansy in quick succession.

"You know I don't want you to leave."

"Then let me stay." Even in her attempt to sound seductive, her voice broke in a high squeak.

Remus pulled his gaze away from her nakedness. Pansy's eyes were closed, eyebrows taut from trying to appear unaffected by his tender caresses.

He hated seeing that look on her face.

Remus heaved his back away from the headboard to wrap his arms completely around her. "What did I tell you?" he said directly in her ear. Her voice softly moaned against her struggle to remain quiet. He began to lick and nip at her neck. "Stop thinking so much... stop fighting yourself."

Remus' tongue trailed down her collarbone and over the swell of her breasts. Pansy sharply inhaled when his warm mouth closed around a nipple, her hands clutching at his hair. Remus titled his head to the side, wanting to get a better look at her. When their eyes fleetingly met, she hastily turned her face away from him.

He immediately sat up.

"Look at me." He affectionately glided his fingers through the hair above the back of her neck.

"Look at me, Pansy," he said much more forcefully, but the plea in his tone spoke of desire.

She gradually followed the urging of his hand, her chest heaving when she met his eyes. Remus lowered his other hand between them; his thumb fervently skimmed over her wetness as he attempted to get a firm grasp under her thigh. He carefully lifted her weight toward him, positioning her opening over his hardness.

"Stop fighting yourself," he repeated, pushing her hips down, completely filling her.

Pansy's open mouth moved twice in silent bliss. Her eyes threatened to close, but were forced open again by a steady tug on her hair. She continued to keep her vision locked onto the warmth in Remus' natural expression. Tears welled along the rim of her eyes.

"Yes," he hissed, steadily thrusting up into her. "Let me love you."

*** *** ***

Oh, Merlin, I hope I do this right. Hermione nervously tucked her hand into her robe pocket to retrieve her wand. Shakily raising it, she closed her eyes and tapped the top of her head.

She gasped at the odd sensation of cool water being dumped on her.

Inspecting her robes and arms, she smiled in approval at the rather splendid Disillusionment Charm she had cast on herself.

Hermione had gathered a few educated guesses as to what type of... establishment this was, so she definitely had no desire to go inside. Spying the dozens of windows that trailed the side of the building, she thought she would be better off endeavoring to peek through the dirty windows.

Her face instantly colored at the idea.

Lowering herself in the dark alley, Hermione slowly edged her body along the wall, bending under the first windowsill. She distinctively made out the harsh tones of two males moaning.

No, there was no need to look in there. She cautiously moved on to the next.

Reluctantly raising her eyes over the decaying wood of the windowsill, Hermione's breath hitched at the sight before her. A rather well defined...and naked...male stood in the middle of the room, eyes blindfolded and mouth gagged with long strips of leather. His arms were raised high above him, bound to a chain dangling from the ceiling. A scantily dressed witch twirled a long whip in the air before cracking it across his arse.

At the sound of his contented moan, Hermione quickly ducked beneath the window.

Oh, my God! She raised a hand to her mouth, surprised at the wide smile on her face and the need to suppress a rich laugh.

Sirius came here?

Back hunched over, Hermione slyly tiptoed to the next window. This time, she decided, it would be much more... prudent to sit under the sill and listen before attempting to observe the occupants.

"'Ello, Love," a woman cackled, seconds before a door was closed.

"You're not properly dressed," a male scolded.

Their muffled voices buzzed against the thin glass of the window.

"Please, Sirius," she cooed, "I just got this done."

Sirius!

In the silence of what should have been Sirius' response, Hermione's ears prickled at the rhythmic jingle of coins shaking in a purse.

"Very well," the woman moaned.

Hermione slowly raised herself over the rim of the window just in time to see Sirius fling the coin purse onto the coffee table. The string opened, sending Sickles across the moisture stained wood.

She's a prostitute! Hermione slapped her hands against her mouth.

The rounded woman sauntered over to her dressing table, plucking her wand out of the mess of fake jewelry and cosmetics. Raising the tip to her scalp, the teased red mess vanished to be replaced by soft brown curls that fell down her back.

Hermione's eyes widened.

Sirius walked toward her, extending his arm to bury his hand in her Transfigured hair. "Much better," he said huskily.

When the woman attempted to remove his robes, Sirius pulled away from her, wanting to do it himself. Slowly reaching into a side pocket, Sirius meticulously removed the black pocket watch, carefully placing it on the end table by the bed.

"Every time I see you hold that," the woman said, "I hope you will give it to me."

Sirius narrowed his eyes at her. "Never," he said sternly. "Take off your clothes."

The woman raised her wand once more, tapping her bodice twice. After a few rips and snaps, her clothes melted off her as if they were being held together by buttons.

Sirius edged around the foot of the bed. Lust clouding his eyes, Sirius reached out, sliding both hands over her breasts, pinching her nipples. He harshly pushed her onto the bed. The woman squealed loudly, allowing her legs to wantonly spread before him.

Hermione repeatedly raised her hands to cover her eyes. Watching another man, Sirius of all people, through a soiled window draped in yellowed lace curtains was obscene. Everything about this felt wrong on so many levels. She shouldn't be watching this. She didn't want to watch this. So, of course, she fell into the temptation of peeking through the creases in her fingers.

As if they were going by routine, Sirius stood by the edge of the bed, making no move to get closer. The woman crawled to him on her knees and began to undo his belt and trousers.

A surge of disgust washed over Hermione when his purple erection sprang free. She really shouldn't be watching this, yet she couldn't look away.

The woman lowered her face, blocking Sirius' nakedness from her view. Her head started bobbing against his groin.

Grasping her roughly by the head, Sirius began to thrust up into her mouth, pounding into her throat as hard as she could take it.

Hermione really shouldn't be watching this.

Sirius suddenly pushed her face away from him to completely remove his trousers and underpants. "On the bed," he demanded. The woman immediately turned around on all fours.

Climbing on to the bed, Sirius kneeled behind her and thrust into her with one quick movement.... She dramatically moaned in pleasure.

Grasping her hips, Sirius pounded hard and fast, grunting deeply. His long hair fell over his shoulders and back, strands sticking to the sweat on his body.

"Say... it!" he demanded.

"More!" she screamed. Her large breasts rocked hard, swinging forward and bumping against her chin.

"Keep... going...."

Hermione's brow pinched in repugnance at his reddened face and sweaty chest.

"Yes, Sirius, harder! I've been wanting this for so long!"

"You like that?"

"Yes!"

"Shit," Sirius moaned, his momentum growing erratic. Reaching down toward her head, he buried his hand in her curly hair, pushing her face against the mattress, moaning as he came.

"Her-Her-Hermione!"

"Oh, my God!" Hermione gasped. She shoved herself away from the window at the realization of how loud she'd screamed.

"Shut up," Sirius chided between deep breaths. "I'm done."

"I didn't say anything."

Sirius' head snapped up toward the window, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "Leave me and go and clean yourself." Sirius eyed the window once more, but turned to lie on the bed while the woman exited to the adjoining bathroom.

I did not just see that. Hermione thought to herself, her stomach twisting in disgust. I did not just hear that!

Sirius had traveled to the far end of Hogsmeade to pay a witch for sex just to scream out her name. It was repulsive.

Hermione truly did not want to gaze at Sirius' naked body any longer, but her curiosity piqued at the glimpse of the notorious black pocket watch. It must be important to him, she gathered, since he seemed to constantly carry it with him. Exhaling a deep breath to regain her senses, Hermione attempted to slowly ease closer to the window.

But she quickly paused in her steps. Hermione stiffened in unease, the hair on the back of her neck and forearms raised in alarm. She felt... odd... all of a sudden, and she didn't know why.

Heat suddenly pressed against her back. A voluminous robe draped over her shoulders, followed by strong arms wrapping around her waist.

Heart shooting up to her throat, Hermione opened her mouth, screaming for help. But the only interruption to the deathly silence was the frantic scramble of her shoes against the cobblestones. In her alarm, her body had jumped further into her captor's firm embrace.

"What?" Snape whispered. He leaned down to her ear, pressing his jaw against her temple. "I didn't quite catch that."

Hermione tried to whirl around in his arms, turning to look him in the eye. The bastard had Silencio'd her!

Bloody tyrant, she mouthed.

Usually one to enjoy the sight of a flustered young witch, Snape found no humor in the situation. He scowled down at her, his lips twisting into a sneer.

"I didn't know voyeurism was a speciality of yours, Hermione," he hissed. "What the fuck were you thinking, coming here alone?" Snape swiftly reached into his pocket for his wand and tapped the top of her head.

Hermione's face reddened. Her cheeks and chest burned against the shock of cool water washing over her. She knew Severus would be angry with her, but she wasn't prepared to see him tonight.

"And to top it off," he whispered harshly against her ear, "you have just skived off your first detention with me..."

Hermione's head fell into her outstretched hand; she pinched the bridge between her brow. Nothing changed. He knew exactly how to make her feel like a naughty school girl, which was almost perverse when you took in their newly developed relationship.

"...to spy through windows in a low class brothel! Stupid, idiotic Gryffindor daring! Do you have any idea what could have happened to you tonight if someone from in there had found you?"

Hermione's breathing quickened at his reprimand. Instead of hearing the insults spitting from his mouth, her ears strained, picking up on the... uneasiness... in his tone of voice. Raising her head, she searched his face for the same emotion his voice expressed, but as per usual, he remained entirely impassive.

The apprehension she felt at being caught by Severus, of all people, didn't remain very long. A deep labored breathing, ending in painful gasps, was coming out of Sirius' window. This did not sound anything like someone experiencing sexual pleasure. Leaning against Severus' forearms toward the window, Hermione watched as Sirius clutched a hand to his chest, eyes bulging with each intake of air.

Hermione sneaked a quick glance at Severus, looking to him for a proper reaction. He seemed almost... mesmerized at what he was watching.

"N-no!" Sirius gasped. He shakily rose from the mattress, wildly staggering to the end table by the bed. The veins along his chest and temples throbbed a grotesque shade of purple. His face turned blue, as if some invisible being was choking his throat, preventing air from reaching his lungs.

Sirius clumsily grasped his black pocket watch, flinging it open. Hermione curiously wondered at the glowing red-face plate. It pulsated somewhat similarly to that of a beating, dying, heart.

What's happening to him? she asked in morbid interest, forgetting that she no longer possessed a voice.

After winding the watch a few times, Sirius' troubled breathing evened out, just as color returned to his sweat drenched face. Swaying on the spot, his eyes rolled back, and he fell to the floor in a limp heap.

Hermione's heart raced rapidly in her chest. Something told her that she had just witnessed something not meant for her eyes to see. Something... unworldly. Frozen in place, she continued watching Sirius' naked body lying face down on the stained carpet.

Seconds later, the woman came out of the bathroom. Drying her hair with a towel, she was too distracted to immediately notice the state of her guest.

Pausing in the middle of the room, the woman's face contorted in horror at the sight of Sirius' lifeless body. Her mouth opened in fright, releasing a high pitched scream.

As if on cue, Snape's hands locked together, and he instantly turned their bodies on the spot.

A steady CRACK echoed in the wet alley seconds before it was left completely empty.

*** *** ***

The moment the suffocating pressure released from her gut, Hermione instantly turned around to make eye contact with Severus.

I'm sorry! she mouthed. Her hands rose in defeat.

Crossing his arms, Snape silently glared down at her.

Hermione uneasily stared up at him, waiting for Severus to release the spell that prevented her from speaking. When he made a move to start walking, Hermione darted in front of his path, a silent plea in her eyes for him to release his spell.

His eyebrows rose in mock bewilderment. "Is something the matter, Hermione?"

Losing patience, Hermione tsked under her breath. She raised a hand to her neck, tapping her throat before pushing against his chest.

Snape mischievously grinned as his body slightly fell off balance from her playful shove. "I don't know," he drawled. "You're much more beautiful when your energetic mouth isn't moving a million miles a millisecond."

Hermione's breathing skipped. He'd just called her beautiful.

Severus diverted his eyes; his jaw suddenly clenched. Clearing his throat, he reached into his robes. After a swift flick of his wrist, his wand was tucked away again just as quickly.

Hermione knew she had her voice back, but she suddenly found herself hesitant to speak. Turning away from him, she eyed their surroundings.

Another bleak and depressing gutter of a street.

"Knockturn Alley?" she said quietly. "Why would you Apparate us here?"

"Then, you've been here before?" He eyed her curiously.

"Er... yes, once. Are we safe?"

"Fairly so. Our Disapparation trail is less likely to be followed to a destination such as this. We shouldn't be bothered as long as we don't come across any ruddy Aurors."

That threw her off guard. If anything, seeing multiple Aurors walking around this side of town would put her at ease. "What do you mean? Why should we fear Ministry officials?"

"Never mind." He placed his arm around her shoulders, motioning for them to begin walking down the poorly lit alley.

It didn't take very long for her to abandon her assumptions once they rounded the corner. Severus pulled her to him again, effectively wrapping them both in his black cloak to camouflage them in the darkness.

Hermione knew the two men were Aurors the second she took in their pompous behavior and matching robes.

"Well, well..." said a stumpy, overweight wizard. He pretentiously shoved his chubby thumbs into the inside pockets of his robes, swaying back and forth on the balls of his feet. "What have we found here?"

The other Auror, very twitchy and insecure, walked up toward the scene. He fingered the length of his wand, looking towards the great whale of a wizard for appropriate direction.

"Trouble, eh?"

"Yup, definitely trouble...." The fat Auror moved to the side, giving Hermione and Severus a clear view of their intended target.

"Piss off!" a young witch bellowed. Her defined face appeared odd compared to the round mass of her flowing clothes. She wore various layers of dresses and robes, none of it matching. Hermione had a strong feeling that this was everything she owned. The haughty witch attempted to walk between the two wizards, but was quickly grabbed by the arm.

"Now, now," the portly Auror said slowly, pulling her back toward the brick wall. "Don't be rude. This is merely a... customary search and interrogation. You don't want to be hauled down to the Ministry for failing to follow orders now, do you?"

"I haven't done nothin' wrong," she snarled.

"No one said that you did," the other Auror spoke condescendingly. "Just do as you're told, and we'll let you go on your way."

The heavy Auror tapped the tip of his wand on her collar bone. "Turn around," he said in a sickeningly polite voice.

The young woman swallowed twice and hesitantly complied.

"That's a good lass," the twitchy man hummed. "Now, arms up on the wall."

Watching this in silence, Hermione thanked the gods that she was wrapped securely in Severus' protective embrace. Raising her hands under his arms, she fearfully clutched at his biceps. Her breaths were quickening, and her instincts told her everything about this was not procedural and about to end very wrongly. Sensing her apprehension, Snape rested his chin on the top of her head.

Face red with fury, the young woman breathed deeply through her nostrils as she slowly raised her hands above her head.

The fat Auror grinned nastily, tucking his wand in his pocket as he reached out to trail his hands down the side of her body, unnecessarily lingering over the swell of her breasts and arse. Ignoring the shaking that wracked her body, he lowered himself to the floor to get a firm grip of the hem of her robes.

"N-no..." she gasped at the feel of her clothing being raised. Legs quivering, her knees buckled, and she lowered herself to the ground to escape the feeling of exposure.

"Grab her!"

The jittery Auror forcefully lifted the woman by the armpits and smashed her face against the stone wall. She let out a desperate wail as the grotesque man violently hauled up her robes, bunching the fabric in the hollow of her back.

Hermione clenched her eyes shut, shoving her face underneath Severus' arm.

Taking advantage of the vulgar and violent struggle, Severus increased his hold on Hermione, motioning for her to begin walking down the alley.

Hermione remained stiff and silent as she walked by his side. The rhythmic echoes of the woman's pained cries followed them down the alley.

Severus found himself repeatedly swallowing in discomfort. He shouldn't have brought her here. What the hell had he been thinking? So used to Apparating to diseased hovels as a precaution against being followed, he had paid no mind to having her at his side. Bile coated his tongue. He wouldn't be surprised if she was disgusted at him for not attempting to save the woman.

Imagining such an argument, a part of him resented Hermione for having such black and white reactions...expectations, of him.

Moving to the side of her, Severus tightly held her to him with one arm. "Are you all right?" he dispassionately asked.

Hermione merely nodded against his shoulder.

"Well, well," a sumptuous voice drawled behind them. "What have you caught this time, Severus?"

Whirling around, Snape pushed Hermione behind him as he reached into his robe for his wand.

Malfoy sneered at the threat pointing directly between his eyes. "Ugh," he grunted. "You really need to work on that dramatic paranoia of yours, friend."

Straightening out of his predatory stance, Snape slowly lowered his wand.

"To what do I owe the pleasure, Lucius?" Snape drawled smugly.

Lucius lunged around Snape, grasping Hermione by the arm, pulling her out from behind him. Smiling at her frightened yelp, Lucius' eyes glinted in satisfaction at her terrified expression.

Snape stood in place, completely devoid of a reaction.

"The pleasure of finding you tonight, Severus," Lucius drawled, "is all mine."

Severus cursed himself in his mind. He shouldn't have brought her here.

*** *** ***

"So, you're making me go back!" Pansy screeched, pacing about the small hotel room, working herself up into a state.

"Please be reasonable, Pansy." Sitting on the bed, Remus rested his aching forehead on the palm of his hand.

"First you make lo--have sex with me, then you send me on my way! Send me back to him! How can you stand anyone other than you touching me?"

"I CAN'T!" Remus screamed, jumping from the bed. Pansy reflexively backed away from him, anxiety etched across her face.

His shaking fist clenched painfully in his greying hair. "... you know that. What do you want from me? I'm trying to be supportive. Whatever you decide, you know I'll stand by you, no matter what."

"You're right, I'm sorry," she said miserably. "I'm being selfish..." she breathed, hugging herself as she turned her back to him.

"No, you are not." Remus quickly moved toward her. "You are putting up with much more than I in this situation." He sighed as he rubbed his hands along her arms. "I just want you to be safe," his desperate voice whispered against her ear, blowing strands of short hair into her face.

"I know," Pansy said quietly. "As long as I... remain by Theodore's side, I am practically untouchable. None of the other Death Eaters would ask my father for my hand, nor would anyone dare to have me against my will..."

Remus instantly pulled away from her, crossing to the other side of the room. "I don't want to get into this."

"I thought you said you didn't care if he... if we...."

"Care is not a very good way to describe it," he bellowed, eyes narrowing. The fight didn't remain strong, as her shoulders hunched against his words. "Of course I care," he added softly, walking back to her. "How can I not? Just the very idea of him touching you, sleeping with you... but that does not mean I do not understand the necessity of it."

Pansy spun around. She gripped frantically at his robes, burying her tear-streaked face against his chest. "Every day away from you is torture."

Remus' heart ached as he wrapped his arms around her. Gods know how he needed her. "We'll find time, I promise you." She nodded against him. "You're so strong, Pansy. I don't like... your betrothal to Theodore, but it doesn't stop me from loving you. We'll find a way around this. I know that this is torment for you. I know his unwanted affections are unbearable..."

Pansy sharply pulled away from him. "What would you know about it?" she snarled in disgust.

Remus gazed down at her, arms frozen in the air from the absence of her body. His eyes closed, body cringing as if she had slugged him in the face.

Pansy wearily wondered at his hurt expression.

It's not her fault. She doesn't know.

"Remus?" she questioned gravely. "What's wrong?"

Turning away from her, he attempted to abandon his own demons and not hold her words against her. "Nothing, love, but it's time for you to go."

*** *** ***

Ignoring Hermione's fear, Snape's dexterous hand painfully closed around her wrist, pulling her out of Lucius' hungry grasp. She gasped at the pain, instinctively yanking her arm, frightened eyes searching his own.

"What I do, or not do, with this little Mudblood," his eyes glistened dangerously at her, "is of no concern to you." Severus held nothing back. Right now, in the presence of a fellow Death Eater, he allowed himself to slip into the mechanical, unfeeling pit of his existence.

Hermione at once began to fight against him, her breathing hitching and squeaking in her struggle. Hermione yanked her arm away forcefully, showing every indication that she wanted to run away.

"Let go of me!" she gasped. Her hand clawed at Snape's steady grip. "Professor, please," she cried, "let me go back to the castle!"

"Feisty little thing, isn't she?" Lucius said with a sickening leer.

Severus yanked her toward him, harshly closing his other hand around her throat. "Stupid girl," he snarled, "if I'd wanted you to go back to the castle, I wouldn't have brought you here, now, would I? I have no intention of ending the evening so soon."

Lucius moved to Snape's side. Hermione was honestly shocked by the identical expressions the two men possessed. Eyebrows arched, eyes hungry with the idea of watching her scream in pain.

Hermione instantly stopped fighting. "No..." she begged desperately.

Lucius' eyes washed over Hermione's body at the dread in her voice. "You lucky devil..." he laughed sardonically. "You've always had the knack for conveniently finding luscious prey."

Severus sneaked a quick glance at Hermione to gauge her reaction to Lucius' statement. He resented the natural cringe that wracked her body.

"Ah... I must apologize, dear friend," Snape drawled. He turned Hermione around, his arms reached over her shoulders and through her underarms to pin her wrists behind her back, forcing a yelp of pain. "This piece of trash, I have no intention of sharing."

"Too bad," Lucius said dismissively with flip of his hand. "My Obliviates have always been much more precise than yours."

Severus inclined his head to the side. "I'll manage."

"You always do." Lucius laughed.

As the blond wizard turned to continue on his business, his pointed nose rose in the air, his face sending Hermione a mockingly pitiful frown, warning her of the terror she was about to experience.

Even though Lucius was clearly walking in the opposite direction, Snape continued on with his violent hold of her arm, forcing her to walk ahead of him.

"Severus," she said quietly.

"Shut up."

He was actually surprised that she did. No irritating and nosy questions this time, eh?

If he had any choice in the matter, Snape would have preferred Hermione to remain completely ignorant of the life he lived outside Hogwarts' walls. If the headmaster didn't demand explanations and justifications for his actions amidst Death Eater circles, then he certainly wouldn't tolerate any lectures from a young chit of a girl who he hadn't even bedded yet.

Losing himself in what he expected would be her inevitable rejection, Snape found himself growing more and more resentful toward her. But it was for the best, he told himself, that this relationship end just as quickly as it had started. In truth, he had found the idea of distracting himself in the arms of a young witch quite pleasing, but he wouldn't strain himself over the idea of it finishing.

Severus just didn't see how she could look at him the same, and he was loath to lay himself at her feet. He would never allow himself to be vulnerable enough to grovel and convince her otherwise.

No, he told himself, it wouldn't irk him one bit to be rid of her.

Yet, despite all of his contemplations, Snape maintained his steady grip on her arm. He pulled her through the filthy streets of Knockturn Alley, rounding a corner for a proper place to Apparate away. Pulling her to him, he turned on the spot, wishing to save her from seeing any more tonight than she already had.

*** *** ***

As the lingering, unpleasant remnants of the Apparition pulled away from her, Hermione's ears prickled at the complete silence of their new surroundings. Once she was balanced enough on her own, Snape's arms immediately fell away from her.

He quickly started walking down the uneven pavement without a backward glance.

She sighed.

She just had to go and fall for an emotionally dramatic man, didn't she?

Hermione was still a little shaken up from everything that had transpired that evening, but she was relieved to finally be away from dark alleys, away from wizarding streets, away from wizards in general.

Her stomach twisted in apprehension. She could feel the tension between herself and Severus grow thicker with his every step. She noticed his reaction... to her reactions... of his brutality. He honestly believed that her fear of him was real.

Instead of imagining the dozens of innocent girls, possibly even boys, that had tragically fallen into the hands of those two men... she could only think of Severus.

What hell.

Walking at her own pace on the winding path, Hermione curiously observed the decrepit houses along the residential street. Brick house upon brick house, each one encompassing black windows boarded up with wide slabs of wood. The front lawns had run wild, overgrown over walkways and fences.

Aside from Severus' brisk footsteps and her hesitant amble, the only sign of life was the random rustle of brush from whatever creature she frightened as she passed by.

If she had been alone, on this street, under these non-functioning lampposts, Hermione would have cried herself into a frightened stupor. But the simple fact that Snape continued walking so far ahead of her, showed that there was nothing threatening in this Muggle neighborhood.

Spying the last house that ended along a long brick wall, Hermione knew that it had to be their destination. It was the only home on this street without broken, boarded up windows.

Severus quickly sped up the path, toward the house. The front door banged open the moment he ascended the steps.

As Hermione cautiously walked up the winding path to the neglected house, she knew, based on his silence and body language that Severus did not want to discuss anything that had transpired in Knockturn Alley.

But she didn't care. Connections were forming in her mind, and he needed to hear it.

Striding purposefully into the cramped living space, Hermione noted that this house had probably once looked very inviting. The wall to wall bookshelves had to have been gradually added over time, giving her every indication that this was definitely Severus' home.

She vaguely remembered her bickering last year over Harry's stupid Potions text... leading to her discovery of the identity of Snape's parentage.

This was his Muggle father's house. His childhood home.

Severus restlessly stormed about his living space. He made a show of removing his cloak, folding it, and summoning a bottle of wine.

"Severus," she said quietly.

Back facing her, he froze, preparing himself for her recant. He refused to turn around.

"Listen," she said seriously, "about what Malfoy said..."

"No need to speak any further," he snapped angrily.

"What?"

"Just go," he barked.

"I don't think you understand what I am going to say..."

"ENOUGH!" he bellowed, whirling toward her, forcing her to flinch away. His eyes narrowed, misinterpreting her body language. "We both know you are going to end... whatever the fuck you want to call this between us... so don't worry yourself with unwanted..."

"Severus..."

"...explanations. Go back to school..."

"Severus..."

"...to your books, and your simple life beside Bloody-Boy-Wonder-Potter..."

"SEVERUS!"

Breathing hard through his nostrils, Snape's menacing eyes snapped toward her.

Hermione exhaled a shaky breath. She stood in place in the middle of his family home. There was so much she wanted to say, all at once, but she couldn't find sense in her words.

Before she lost her nerve, Hermione lurched across the room. Her arms wrapped tightly around Severus' neck. She raised her chin, fervently pressing her soft lips against his own as her eyes clenched in fear of being rebuffed.

Severus inhaled sharply through his nose. He tensed in puzzlement under her.

She pulled back slightly, too afraid to meet his eyes, only to kiss his lips once more. Hermione burned a path across his mouth and cheek.

Severus' arms hesitantly rose to grasp her by the waist.

Her breathing hitched in relief at his failure to pull away from her. She leaned back to look him in the eye, her hands closed around his jaw.

"Do I look like an idiot?" she asked sternly. Everything wanted to spill out of Hermione at once. Her mind, her heart, and her desires warred for control, forcing a glossy sheen to the rim of her eyes.

At a complete loss for words or proper reaction, Snape uneasily found himself drawn to her worrisome expression.

"Do you really expect me to be blind?" she half-cried.

Her hands tightened around his strong jaw, forcing his head to slightly bob. His black hair spilled over her hands. "I'm not an idiot, Severus Snape. Did you really expect me to be completely ignorant of your status? I read the papers. I listen to the tales of students who were forced to attend Muggle funerals. I know what Death Eaters do. I know you are a Death Eater, and I've known it for a long time."

Snape facetiously sent her a mocking scowl. "Then, my dear, that makes you as sick as I am."

"If not more so."

That startled look masked his expression again at her quick response.

A sad softness clouded her eyes. "Even while you're with me," she spoke softly, "I know you could continue to be summoned to Vol-the Dark Lord." Hermione focused on the small frown line by his mouth that had started all this. Snape involuntarily closed his eyes as the soft pad of her finger caressed his skin.

"I don't want to... share you," she said carefully, "but from the very beginning, I knew, that in some ways, I must."

Snape didn't know what to do. He was... reacting to her, mentally and physically without the desire to analyze, manipulate, or plan ahead.

He couldn't remember the last time he had actually wanted to lose himself in 'the now'.

Hermione lowered her forehead onto his shoulder with a sigh. When Severus' hands finally closed around her back, she turned her face to his neck, pressing her warm lips against his skin.

"I'll only give you ninety-nine more chances to push me away," her wet tongue darted out, sweeping across his pulse, "before I'll actually let you succeed."

Severus inhaled sharply, pushing her away to hold her at arms length. His brow furrowed together, lost in thought, as he gazed at Hermione's determination.

"S-Stay with me tonight?" he asked.

Hermione slowly nodded, smiling shyly at him.

*** *** ***

Back at Hogwarts castle, Harry continued scowling at the hearth fire, absentmindedly fingering the pages of his open Transfiguration book. His thoughts warred with the heat of the violent flames.

"I miss talking to you," a female voice said hesitantly.

Harry turned toward the voice. Gaping, he was unprepared for the sight of Ginny standing nervously by the settee.

He attempted to send her a good natured smile. "Want to sit down?"

She fidgeted in place for a few seconds before finally lowering herself beside him.

"You used to share so much with me," she said softly. "Things you were too hesitant to speak to Ron and Hermione about."

Harry uncomfortably shrugged his shoulders. "It's just... weird now, you know?"

Ginny shook her head in frustration, turning herself away from him.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" she asked sternly. She would gladly throw herself in front of a Killing Curse for this thick-headed boy, but she refused to continue playing the role of a fool in love any longer.

"This?"

A tense silence separated their bodies, interrupted by the crackling of the burning logs.

Harry could see her getting closer from the corner of his eye. The cushion next to him dipped under her weight. His eyes closed painfully at the feel of a soft hand gliding through his hair.

Ginny leaned toward Harry, softly kissing him on his temple. He should be pushing her away, he should be getting up to go to his room, but he was losing himself in her delicate touches.

Neither said a word, grasping that nothing that was said would alter their situation.

Both knew that he wouldn't change his mind.

Harry turned to her, hungrily capturing her mouth with his. Ginny's arms extended around his neck, pulling her toward him as she lowered herself to lay flat on her back. Resting his body completely on top of her, Harry pulled his lips away from hers, heart aching at the sound of her disappointed whimper.

Ginny raised her palm, stroking the side of Harry's face, urging him to continue.

Turning his face, he pressed his nose and mouth against her hand, wishing...needing to take her right there. Simply touching her was torture. It had been so long since he'd held her.

Sighing miserably to himself, Harry knew that in a matter of moments he was going to lift himself off her and pretend that this had never happened. Tomorrow, she would wake up and exit the common room hand in hand with Seamus.

But Harry just needed this for right now.

Lowering his face under her neck, Harry exhaled deeply at the feel of her hands desperately closing around his back.

They lay there. Not speaking... not moving... listening to each other's timid breaths, feeling one another's erratic heartbeats until they would be interrupted by the creak of the portrait swinging open.

*** *** ***

Would anyone notice she was gone, Hermione vaguely wondered as she followed Severus' lead up the narrow stairway of his Muggle house. She was somewhat untroubled that Severus did not think it an issue to spend a night away from Hogwarts castle, so Hermione decided to let that worry go.

She repeatedly swallowed, trying to wet her drying throat when he pushed open the door to his bedroom.

BED-room, she repeated.

He had only asked her to spend the night... to sleep. But did he expect more? He was a full grown man after all, not a timid schoolboy. Was she ready for this?

Hermione couldn't help the humored sigh she released at the sight of even more bookcases lining his bedroom walls. Casually letting go of his hand, Hermione walked the length of shelves, trailing her fingertips against the rare tomes.

"My, my, Professor," Hermione spoke light-heartedly, "who would have thought you were quite a bookworm yourself?"

Welcoming the thought of returning to normal and casual conversation, Severus raised a characteristic eyebrow. "Unlike certain know-it-all seventh-years," Snape sneered, "I do not parade my extensive knowledge any chance I get."

It felt wonderful to laugh at his sarcasm.

Removing his teaching cloak, Severus hung it over the back of an armchair and quickly turned down his bed. He fell on top of it with a tired moan.

"Feel free to read as much as you want," he spoke to the ceiling, eyes closed with his hand over his brow. "But I do prefer complete darkness when I sleep."

Returning a book back to its shelf, Hermione raised her chin, confidently walking to his bed. In truth, she was nervous beyond belief, but she didn't want to look like a timid little girl in front him.

She needed to prove that she could contend with all of him.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, Hermione slowly removed her stockings and shoes. The bed moved slightly as Severus turned on his side.

"Do you want to sleep in your dress?" he asked her. "You may borrow a shirt..."

"No need," she interrupted with a hesitant laugh. "I'm wearing a gown under this."

She turned away from him, knowing his eyes were burning holes through her back as she hesitantly began unbuttoning the front of her dress. Slowly pulling the fabric open at the neck and down each arm, Hermione shyly glanced over her shoulders. An aroused flush spread up her neck when she met his intense expression. She quickly raised her hips off the bed to push the loose fabric to the floor.

Snape smoothly lifted the duvet, inviting her into the warm bed.

Uncertainly tucking a wild curl behind her ear, Hermione lowered her head on the pillow, continuing to keep her body facing the wall.

She felt silly again at her reactions. Her body was tense, and she didn't see the harm in facing him. Willing her breathing to calm, Hermione finally convinced herself to turn over to face Severus... just when his warm body suddenly slid across the mattress, pressing against her back. His arm confidently fell on her waist, pulling her tightly to mould against him. Pressing his nose against the back of her neck, Snape released a relaxed sigh as he bent his thighs under her bum.

Maybe she should have taken him up his offer of clothes. Her already short chemise was beginning to ride up her thighs.

Sensing her trepidation, Snape lifted his head to cast a non-verbal spell. The room was immediately cast in darkness.

"Sleep, Hermione," he whispered seriously. She instantly released a relieved breath.

Hermione wanted to sleep. Truly she did. She wanted to ease against Severus' snug support and lose herself in blissful slumber. But her nerves continued to keep her body on full alert. She was thinking too much. Hermione slightly tensed with Severus' every breath.

That intense fire in her belly was stronger than ever. She'd never been so scantily dressed in the arms of a boy...man...before. Identifying a growing hardness pressing against the flesh of her bum, the heat between her legs strengthened, and she found herself fighting the urge to gyrate against him.

I can't take this anymore.

In one fluid motion, Hermione squirmed around to turn her upper body toward him, raising her arm around his neck as she slid her bum against Severus' firmness. He sharply inhaled and tightened his grip on her waist.

Pressing her face into the hollow of his neck, Hermione glided her fingers through the hair behind his ear. She kissed and licked his neck, urging him to lower his jaw enough to reach his lips.

Severus' hand steadily slid down her waist and over her hip. The moment his warm fingers made contact with the bare skin of her plump thigh, his touch slowed, savoring the feel of her exposed flesh.

"Severus." His name left her lips in a high pitched moan, fearfully pleading to stop... to continue. He growled in response, kissing her jaw in search of those lips that deliciously begged his name. Grabbing her by the hip, Snape turned her, forcing her to completely face him on her side. Pressing his hungry mouth against hers, Snape thrust his forceful tongue beyond her lips.

Hermione moaned freely, wrapping her arm around his shoulders. Her inexperienced whimpers increased when his hands returned to the soft flesh of her exposed legs.

She had no idea what her cries were doing to him.

Reluctantly dragging his lips away, Snape released a deep breath, pressing his face underneath her jaw.

"W-what's wrong?" she asked.

Grunting in defeat, Snape gripped the back of her knee, pulling her thigh over his hip.

"I told you to sleep." He could not adequately prevent the heavy frustration in his voice.

Pulling her other arm out from underneath her, Hermione edged it between the hollow of Snape's neck and the mattress, forcing his head on her shoulder. His chin lightly pressed against the swell of her breasts.

Growling hungrily, Snape thrust his hips upward, pushing his aching cock between her legs. His hand crawled up her thigh, palming over her defined bum. When his dexterous fingers edged underneath the elastic of her knickers, Hermione sharply inhaled, both from arousal and fear. But hesitation was growing much quicker than her desire.

Sensing her body tense against him, Snape pushed her to lie flat on the bed.

This was worse. Her hand clenched painfully against his shoulder at his forceful movement. With half of his body on top of her, Snape pulled back to look questioningly into her eyes.

"I'm sorry," she said softly.

"What for?"

"I don't know what I'm... this is all so new to me."

Virgin. Shite....

Thinking the moonlight was playing tricks on his eyes, Snape raised his hand to her neck, blocking the pale beams to see if it had any effect on the shadows blossoming on her skin.

It wasn't a trick of the darkness. The shadows were bruises. His hand still upon her neck, he quickly realized that the length of his finger tips matched the purple outline on her flesh.

He had marked her in front of Lucius.

His eyes quickly snapped to the feather stroke on the back of his hand. Her wrist was quickly turning purple as well.

Eyes still hooded from arousal, Snape lowered his face to her neck, his lips silently moved against her damaged flesh.

"Did you say something?"

Snape pulled away from her again, grabbing her wrist. He brushed his lips against his marks.

"Sleep," he whispered more harshly than he intended. "I have no desire to tear your maidenhead tonight." His voice faded slightly, caught off guard by his own sincerity.

Hermione released one long, contented sigh, wrapping both arms around his neck. Reluctantly pulling himself off her, he lay by her side, motioning for her to turn back around so he could tightly hold her to him.

---

Author's Notes: Gah! I want these two to shag already. I asked them and they both said no. I think Snape threw something at me as I left the bedroom.

-My beta, melusin, is a blessing and has polished up this chapter splendidly.

-Chapter title taken from John Milton's Paradise Lost, Book i. Line 105.

-I have numerous recs for various fanarts and artists that have inspired my characters, my moods, even whole scenes. Go check out these deviant artists: perselus, flam, tolueno, sweetmoon, comfortablylaura, snapesnogger, Cruel-Crush, obfuscatesart, Dream-traveler, Magsby, madcarrot, usagistu, Harry-Potter-Spain, wycked, azmin. On my account, lissa1011 at http://lissa1011.deviantart.com/, I have listed each of their individual artworks that I have enjoyed.

-Next up: The morning after.