Battle on the High Sleaze
NSS_Lotm23 Reviews | 6.3/10 (23 Ratings, 0 Likes, 52 Favorites )
A series of 100-word cannon balls fired by NotSoSaintly and LadyoftheMasque. It all began when NSS saw a lone BDSM ship in the distance and felt an overwhelming urge to plunder, catching Lotm by surprise.
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NSS_Lotm
Member Since 2005 | 1 Story | Favorited by 11 | 0 Reviews Written | 23 Review Responses
A piratess and a privateer, pilfering each other's pornographic prose (politely).
Reviews for Battle on the High Sleaze
just so much fun. really the author interaction was the best but the story was fun too
cute
Oh my gosh. Well, hmmm.... Not quite sure what to say here. It's... um... well... Okay... Let's see... This sucks-I'm not usually left at a loss for words. My nickname is "Word Bitch" for cying out loud.
Alright, let's see. I guess I can say it was interesting, to say the least. Nice toss in of Tortuga as well as a bit of Xena. And I'm sure those sailors were caught completely unawares since, while it had been weeks since the women had seen flesh-and-blood men, I imagine it had also been weeks since the men had seen flesh-and-blood women. LOL.
Cutesy bit, girls.
Elura
Oh I love it!! I am going to look for more and pray I get as many laughs. Thank you guys for such a wonderful pair of stories and the great idea of mixing them.
*chortle* entertaining smut, even more entertaining A/Ns. Seek help! You guys are crazy- in a good way of course! Thanks for giving me a chuckle!
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Aye, one tends to lose a few brain cells with a delicious cabin boy flaunting enormous, thick, creamy *cough* chocolate drinks in skin-tight pants ... (I pirated him from the SS Hermione. I'm sure Captain Lotm won't miss him too badly.) ~NSS
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
...Wha...? You WHAT with my cabin boy? Oh--that's the one that does the regular milkshakes. That's no problem, then. I'm on a high-protein diet. I'll take the other cabin boy, the one that does the...get your minds out of the gutter, it's SOY protein!And of course we're crazy! Crazy for the good 'ship SS-HG! (Though I'll admit Captain NSS has a gorgeous way of pillaging the Malfoy property, rrawrrr...)~Lotm
you two are nuts, board certifiably crazy!! but I like you LOL!
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
It's nice to be recognized and understood for what I am! Thank you! Thank you! ~NSS
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Thank you! *curtsies gracefully, then swashes her buckle, swishes her cutlass, and relieves you of your sanity, arrrrr*~Lotm
Anonymous
Oh you ladies! (And I use that term kinda loosely, now that I think about it!) Why had I not stumbled upon this before? LOL Hilariously yummy stuff!
Author's Response: Hey, I happen to own land in Scotland, so I have the right to be called Lady! (Lady Ladyofthemasque...hrmm. A bit redundant. Ah, well.)
Dunno if NotSoSaintly owns any land in Scotland...but as she's one of my beta-editors, and is a gem of a beta-editor, a scintillating polisher of my prose...yeah, I'd go ahead and give her the title anyway. 'Cause, you know, she's also a fellow pirate privateer, and it'd only be just and proper for us to both be Lady Pirates Privateers of the High Sleaze.
(Hey, NotSoSaintly, put down the cabana boy and go dig up your Letters of Marque, will ya? No, no, not your Letters from Mark, your Letters--oh, nevermind! And don't damage that one; he's the one that makes the scrumptious hazelnut chocolate milkshakes!)
...Where was I? Oh, yes! Mind you, some things are better when loose...such as pirate clothes on dancing, gyrating, bump-and-grinding, muscular, well-oiled cabana boys...arrrrrrrr, yeah...that be my kind of matey...swing yer cutlass firmly, lad! Put yer back into each stroke!
~Captain Lotm
I'm not going to ask for a sequel, but I'd love to see another collaboration between the two of you—this was great. 
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
LOL...I'll let her know!Actually, right now, she is being an absolutely gorgeous, talented, nitpickily-thorough beta-editor for my original fics, which are going to be published, squee! And I still tease her now and again in our email exchanges about being a "piratess of prose", *snicker*. But I'd love to collaborate again with her, sometime......Now, if we can only find the time!Hugs,~Lotm
two of my fave authors combined in a humourous fic with excellent writing tactics...can life get any better?
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Yes, if you had a nice box of chocolate truffles to accompany your reading pleasure.And a hot bubble bath.With a handsome masseur named Sven, waiting to oil and stroke and soothe you afterwards....and I'd better quit while I'm ahead, 'cause I'm drooling and whimpering in a rather undignified manner. (That, and my co-authoress would no doubt shanghai poor Sven onto her own ship, and not share. Ooh, maybe Sven has a twin!)~Lotm
Response from togspled (Reviewer)
You guys can have Sven and his twin. Ill take Severus any day!
wow, that was amazing! Nice way of writing to boot. But I have to say I liked the piratesses (?) storyline better and especially the cloud. that really kept me laughing. Unfortunately, there will be no sequel... I'd really looove to read it, but I think you're busy with the pool-boy, am I right ? Not that I blame you *smirks evilly* Good job guys !
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
The 'cloud' was a "returned submission" email notice. *grrrrrr, arrrrrgh, where's me cutlass?* I'm busy looting a port city on the shore of Original Fic Isle at the moment, and NSS is cataloguing and organizing the booty I've been bringing aboard...but we'll think about it, arrrr, we will, matey...~Lotmhaving way too much fun with this pirate theme stuff
“Goddess, sit on my face and tell me you love me!”OMG! Lol. The only thing I could think of when reading that line was the song "Sit on my face".....Sit on my face! And tell me that you love me! I'll sit on your face and tell you I love you, too. Life could be fine if we're both 69... So sit on my face (and I can't remember the last line of the song! Sorry!)...It's from the Dr. Demento show, lol.
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Confession time...*Lotm raises her hand*...Yep, I was thinking of that very same song when I wrote it! Teehee! ~Lotm
Response from Satai Delenn (Reviewer)
Wow, lol. Frightening. lol. We both have the same demented sense of humor! lol. I so miss the Dr. Demento show!Incidentally I have a copy of that song on a tape a friend of mine made me. Along with the Woodpecker from Outer Space song and the "They're coming to take me away" and Pencil Neck Geek, and my personal favorite, "Boot to the Head!"Yes, I'm odd. *blinks* So what?lol
*snort* I can't say what I loved more--the SSHG parts, or the "battle"...*giggle*...I'll have to admit, I think the battle is winning out. Great fun, ladies!
Brilliant - absolutely brilliant! I loved the insterstitials as much as the drabbles. ;)
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
*drools* You said interstitials...ohhh, baby, talk big-words to me! *writhewrithe...lol* (Seriously, I love it.)
We had waaaay too much fun with those between-drabble interludes. And to tell you the truth, the first time she pilfered my prose, I did indeed feel like I'd been hit with a canonball!
I'm happy to know you enjoyed it as much as we did!
~Lotm
Very cute!
You ladies are certifiable, you know that? And I love what you've done with this collaboration. Smut, lust, chocolate milkshakes, Severus, Draco... the list goes on and on!Beth
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
*Sluuuurrrrrrp...*~Captain Lotm
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
*Sluuuurrrrrrp...*~Captain Lotm
you guys, you guys. love it , love you! love, kimjo
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
*cuddlehug*~Captain Lotm
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
*cuddlehug*~Captain Lotm
speechless.
i dont know how to spell this feeling...
arms reach forward, palms up. Open, pleading...
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
*slips a milkshake in one hand and a cabana boy in the other*
Meh...figured you needed something after all this time.
*slurps on her own milkshake, hugs ya 'round the shoulders*
~Captain Lotm
That was hilarious. Pirates, Severus, Hermione, smut, humor--everything I need to be happy.
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Arr arr arrr! We be tickled pink ye be happy, lass! (Or matey, canna always tell with these strange screen-names, arrrr)...Blehh, I think I prefer refined speech. I'm a gentlewoman pirate privateer.But we're still tickled pink.~Lotm(Other)
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
I won't even try to speak pirate today due to the desire not to embarrass myself. *lol* Thanks, we love the review! ~NSS
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Arr arr arrr! We be tickled pink ye be happy, lass! (Or matey, canna always tell with these strange screen-names, arrrr)...Blehh, I think I prefer refined speech. I'm a gentlewoman pirate privateer.But we're still tickled pink.~Lotm(Other)
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
I won't even try to speak pirate today due to the desire not to embarrass myself. *lol* Thanks, we love the review! ~NSS
Woot! Thar she blows! Or he blows. Anyway, great job, ladies!
Oh my! I greatly enjoyed the original volley as it played out piece by piece, but this version with it's added narrative is absolutely priceless! I should have expected such fantabulousness when too such wanton vixens got together. :)
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
[The Other Author's (nss) Response:] *blush* You called us wanton vixens. A nice compliment that is. The added narrative was Captain Lotm's idea. 'Course when I saw that her pool boy looked so much like Draco, I just couldn't resist giving chase.
OMG you two are too much. ROFLMAO! How you guys come up with this stuff is amazing. Is there any more like this out there? And how was the pool boy? lolTamara
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Heehee...the pool boy was exhausted at the end of the day. Had to call in the backup, and the reservist.I don't know if there's anything more like this out there by anyone else, but this is all we've done together, so far. I can definitely recommend Captain NotSoSaintly's work. (And, yarrrrr, if the Petulant Poetess knows what be good fer her bootay, she'll recommend my plunderin' and pillagin' style, too! *snerk*)~Lotm
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
I do more than recommend it. Lotm has stuff all over the place that should be read. What you don't find here, you'll find at http://www.restrictedsection.org/ She is the queen of plundering and pillaging (and has sole custody of the poolboy, though he does defect every now and then...).~NSS
Witty and highly entertaining. I love the way the dissimilar styles and stories are juxtaposed. It creates an unexpected and unique piece! How did you come up with such a thing? (oh, and good smut too!)
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
Well, you see...
NSS saw a 100-word volley shoot across her bow. Lotm tried to protect her bounty and could not... Basically, it was all Lotm's fault. 
Response from NSS_Lotm (Author of Battle on the High Sleaze)
I (Lotm) was minding my own business, when suddenly I was attacked, boarded, and had my prose pirated by that saucy wench, NSS! Naturally, I had to retaliate! And she, of course, took offense and retaliated back, and...well, it degenerated into a giggle-fest shortly thereafter. It's definitely not the usual sort of fanfic, heheh, but we quite enjoyed it. (And it's all NSS's fault!) ;-D ~Lotm