Lustration
Chapter 2 of 3
expected aberranceBeauty is the sixteen-year old girl kneeling in front of me, peace is her swallowing my seed and enjoying it.
ReviewedLustration
As always, none of this is truly mine, and ambiguity is the end of all answers.
Lustration: Lus*tra"tion, n. [L. lustratio: cf. F. lustration.] 1. The act of lustrating or purifying.
2. (Antiq.) A sacrifice, or ceremony, by which cities, fields, armies, or people, defiled by crimes, pestilence, or other cause of uncleanness, were purified.
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The man sitting in front of me is a broken husk, hollowed by the abscess where his heart once resided. A figure that had probably always been lean is now skeletal, bones wrapped loosely in a thin layer of flesh. The thinning strands of his greasy hair, grey at the temples, barely frame the gargoyle mask of marble and shadow his face is set in.
This man has chosen his world to end in ice, for there is nothing left in him to burn.
The act itself is no great torture; I’ve had much worse forced upon me, and I do this by choice. Though he is far from attractive, I don’t find him as repulsive as most do. The greater part of Gryffindor would recoil in horror if they knew – fools all, for House loyalties mean naught in a world where family ties are severed with nothing more than the word of a madman or two. They pretend that all this is not self-destruction and drown themselves in points, grades, gossip, Quidditch. Sacrificial lamb that I am, I know this lesson well. Dumbledore preaches it often enough.
Touching him here is not as bad as I thought it would be, either. He is still just a man, no different from all the rest in this respect. This position signifies an imbalance of power older than civilization itself, but curiously, I feel neither inferior nor controlled. If anything, the physical necessity of my presence in his communion with the dead grants me a hold over him; this is a ritual which he cannot refuse, a cleansing he is unable to deny.
His voice tells the most change. Once, or so I’m told, he wielded it with barely checked power, a dark, rich, slithering weapon almost an entity unto itself. It is now dead; flat and rasping, still able to wound, but finding no pleasure in the action. Black ice resides where before flames blazed, and a deceptively placid surface hides pain in plain sight.
I’ve seen the way he looks at me, though, during class or dinner, that infinitesimal moment in which he sees something, someone through me. His thumb draws across his palm to caress the silver ring on his left hand, and in that half-breath of time, he rejoins humanity.
I want to see that in him again.
I feel him draw closer to completion, feel the flesh beneath my hands and mouth tremble and clench in a pattern that is far too familiar to me. He stares past me, to one long-buried; what he sees there melts the cold glazing his eyes, and all that was dead in him breathes for one short eternity. With one final shudder, he is finished. I see the mask slide back down even before I am done swallowing. He cleans himself and straightens his robes then dismisses me with barely a glance.
He offers nothing in return for my services but that tiny spark, proof of the soul he tries to bury, and I am content.
For though it is but a pale reflection of what will be, I know now how he’ll look when I kill him.
*******
Ah, the conceit of author’s notes that are almost as long as the fic itself. I hope, kind reader, that though you probably didn’t enjoy this fic, it had some impact, good or ill.
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Latest 25 Reviews for Hurt
25 Reviews | 8.04/10 Average
Ouuuuu this is a good one. I like your tortured Snape
ZOINKS! 
Miss McAdams killed him? Great twist at the end I certainly didnt see that coming.
Oh I had not expected the POV of the student. Very curious.
I especiallly love the first chapter. It functions well as a one shot in and of itself.
I'm a bit confused as to McAdams's motivation in killing him for her war effort, but perhaps I'm supposed to be.
On a technical note, you have a wonderful way with words - I'm jealous!
Also, thank you for being willing to write edgy, dark fic.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
The first chapter did start out that way, and the rest just grew from it. McAdam's motives are indeed supposed to be vague, with perhaps a little tip toward less evil. I like writing edgy, dark fic, but am always unsure of the reception it'll get, so I'm always very glad to get responses like yours. Thanks so much for reviewing!
I can't wait for more. While I was reading this I was listening to "Just like you imagined." by nin and I have to say, it was amazing reading this and listening to that.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Huh, hadn't considered that particular song. Interesting. Thanks for reviewing!
Damn, I've been waiting for someone like you to write what most people wouldn't dare. I LOVE this dark writing, you remind me a bit of Chuck Palahniuk. Very minimalistic. Great.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
I love Chuck Palahniuk, so that's a really big compliment! Thanks for the kind review.
I've always wondered... is she talking in the literal or metaphorical sense of killing him?
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
To tell would give away the ending, which Ihave now thanks to you. I always had it in the back of my mind to finish up with one more part, but didn't drag it off my hard drive until you left me that note on my livejournal a few weeks back. It's short and not quite done yet, but I owe you one 
Response from inebriator (Reviewer)
Hah! <3
There's also another site I frequent that not enough SSHG writes go on. It saddens me. Have you ever heard of deviantART?
Fabulously well-written, I love how well you depicted Snape's pain in the first chapter. Reffering to Hermione as the "better part" of his soul was very moving to read. I'm keen to know why his student will be murdering him... Update soon!*Jen
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Very glad to hear you liked it. Thanks for the wonderful review!
This left me feeling a little uncomfortable. But at the same time I really like the way you wrote this. It truly felt detached and broken. I'd love to read more of your work. (Oh, and togsplet, I think you've been misinformed. Hurt is most definately written by Trent Reznor (NIN). Cash did a cover later. Look at the song credits in the booklet of either your NIN or Cash cd to see so for yourself.)
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Discomfort was one of the things I was going for. Is it weird to be glad I was successful at it? Thanks for the lovely review!
WOW! I didn't even realize this was more than a one-shot drabble--excellent writing! I'll be following this stunner until its end!
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
It started that way. And then the second part just kind of happened. I'm working on the third part; it'll end there. Thanks for reviewing, and I hope you like it!
the title actually belongs to Johnny Cash. NIN (trent) did the remake in 1994 i believe. but Johnny originally sang it acoustically.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Have to disagree with you there. Though I do prefer Johnny's version, the original is Trent Reznor's, as the other reviewer pointed out.
Wow. Really great writing but so depressing and sad. I hope he can just follow HG. What a horrible way to live.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
We'll see what happens for poor Snape. Thanks for reviewing!
Dark, yes, but great! Loved his detachement.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Very glad to hear it! Thanks for reviewing!
Woof. How poignantly unexpected. Looking forward to more of your stories here!
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
'Woof' is good to hear. Thanks for reviewing!
God fucking damnit (whoa where did that come from?) I am so glad to see you on this site. I hope you will archive the rest of your works here as well... I would love to know exactly where they are.
And as usual I love love love your writing. Slightly halucinogenic and bitter. Thank you. Keep writing.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Inspiring random obscenities is what I live for. I'm in the process of archiving my stuff on this wonderful site. Thanks for the suggestion, and the lovely compliments. 
You know I have read this story before and enjoyed how it was writtern, not your normal HG/SS story but just some a tad more darker in nature. This is something i must say i like to see in some stories but i don't see often..i know I am just a sick and werid person. But damn this is writern well.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Always happy to have a repeat reader; it means I'm doing something right. Don't worry, I'm a rather sick and weird person as well
Thanks for reviewing!
A great fic!! I felt very pity for him and I cryed a lot. I hope he really stay forever with Hermione... Kisses
Lovely. Deliciously dark and twisted. Disturbing, and yet exquisite.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Oddly enough, that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Happy to have entertained. Thanks for reviewing!
I like how this ends, With Severus finally able to die and be with his Hermione.I can see how this would have worked with Hermione dying and Severus in depression allowing the young killer girl to get so near him. Very believable! And very much a SS/HG fic, for its in the past of your fic that the couple where together and thats prolly why I like it so much, because it shows the extent of his feeling for Hermione that now that she is gone he cares not if he were to live or die.v.good!-KarlaMarie
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
I'm happy that you liked it, especially the ending, because I was unsure about it. Thanks for reviewing!
Wow. I don't think you ever uploaded the final chapter in your other archives... and it really does change the feeling of the whole story. I love it.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
This part was new. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reviewing!
Wow. I don't think you ever uploaded the final chapter in your other archives... and it really does change the feeling of the whole story. I love it.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
The final chapter's new. Glad to hear you liked it. Thanks for reviewing.
I meant to say I thought SS and HG were actually having sex while SS was dying, in some "twilight" place.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
Entirely possible, as it's up to interpretation. Thanks again for taking the time to review!
Loved this but I am a little confused. My take is that it is the real HG and HG having sex but that the young girl has kiilled him. So he and HG are in between life and death and he's with HG as he dies (where they well be together one hopes). A really interesting story.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
It's all up to your interpretation. Happy to hear you found it interesting. Thanks for reviewing!
Well, it always seemed like a true HG/SS to me, albeit an unconventional one. Your comment at the end confused me a bit, though -- did you mean that Hermione was real in the end, and not a memory? Because I was really liking the idea of the anonymous assassin-girl terminating a tortured existence. Sort of like the end of the opera Lulu, where the heroine meets Jack the Ripper with a sense of relief. Anyway, loved the story and the style.
Response from expected aberrance (Author of Hurt)
I made it intentionally ambiguous, but he is dying, so whether HG is really 'there' is up to interpretation, depending on one's view of the afterlife. It's sort of a curse/dying enhanced memory, for me. Glad you liked it, and thanks for reviewing!