Goodbye and Hello

Chapter 24: Goodbye and Hello

A/N: At long last - the first new chapter.

I have some very pretty banners which demonstrate beautifully how bad I've been about updating this story. If you are among those who read this story years back and had given up, take heart. I've worked through the sticking bits and have drafted all the way to the end. I'm so excited, I can't wait to finally show you how they wind up.

Wishlist banner is by Southern_Witch_69. Haunted banner was made by fizzabella. Thank you both very much!

Edgar and Ariadne looked for Rowan when they met in the common room to go down for breakfast.

"She's not in her dorm," Ariadne reported as she came down the stairs. "Looks like she left early, without making her bed."

Edgar raised an eyebrow. "She makes her bed?"

"Usually she does; she must have been in a hurry today because she even left her nightgown out. Let's go downstairs; maybe she's at breakfast."

They did not find Rowan in the Great Hall, so they saved a spot, keeping an eye out for her as they tucked into their breakfasts.

When the post owls arrived, Edgar took his copy of the Daily Prophet and fed the delivery owl a scrap of his bacon.

"Anything interesting?" Ariadne asked him, scooping a bit of egg onto her last bite of muffin.

"Mmmm. Not really. There's a petition gotten up to get the Ministry to certify the Floo network. And an article about a sharp increase in deaths by Lethifold in South America."

"Turn the page, they never put real news on the cover anymore; people might see it," Ariadne said, rolling her eyes.

Edgar obligingly flipped the page. Sure enough, there had been another Death Eater attack. There was a photo of a bare chimney sticking out of a smoldering ruin, starkly outlined against the pre-dawn glow. One could just make out the green light of the Dark Mark still floating above where the roofline must have been, before the rising sun overpowered its feeble light.

Ariadne grabbed his arm, and her hand was shaking. "Edgar! That picture ... I know that street! What does the paper say – whose house was it?"

Edgar scanned the few lines of the article rapidly and gave Ariadne the gist of it: "It's a Muggle home, in Clapham. The Department for Magical Law Enforcement logged a number of suspicious Apparitions into the area in the middle of the night, but by the time the Auror team arrived, nobody but local Muggles were there, trying to put out the fire. Of course they couldn't, since it was magical, but they didn't know that.

"You're right! You do recognize that house," Edgar told her. "Listen:

"The Ministry determined that the house was the residence of Mrs. Bourne, a Muggle woman, who was found dead. There is no known reason for the attack, other than the circumstance that she had a daughter who is a witch. Miss Bourne is currently attending Hogwarts School of Wizardry and Witchcraft."

"Rowan's Mum!" Ariadne gasped. "That was her house. But why?"

"They don't know," Edgar answered when he finished the article. "There've been other attacks on families of students, Muggle-born students."

"Edgar, Rowan is missing! What if she's hurt too? We have to tell someone!"

Edgar put his hand over Ariadne's and gave it a squeeze. "Don't worry. I think they must have sent for her in the night, so they could break the news to her before the post came. I'm sure she's safe."

Ariadne sat back, relieved. "Of course, that's why she wasn't in her dorm." She looked back at the paper, trying to find any information beyond what Edgar had already read to her.

"My mum will be devastated," she told him. "They were friends and we visited; that's why I recognized the street in the picture." She shuddered, thinking of the Mark floating over a house she'd been to many times during the summer hols. "Look," she said, pulling Edgar's arm. "Flitwick's gotten up from the table. Let's ask if we can see Rowan."

"They might not want her disturbed." Edgar warned her.

"We can ask. Let's go." Ariadne looked sick with worry.

"All right, then." They both rose from the table and caught up with their Head of House at the end of the hall.

"It's true," Flitwick told them sadly. "Miss Bourne has lost her mother and her home, poor child. She's resting in the Infirmary now; Madam Pomfrey has given her something to help her sleep."

"Will we be able to see her?" Ariadne asked.

"Not just yet; the Headmaster specifically requested that she not be disturbed. When she wakes, she may go back to the common room, or stay in the Infirmary if she wishes the privacy. She is excused from classes for today, and as much longer as Madam Pomfrey thinks advisable."

Edgar and Ariadne nodded their understanding.

"I will make sure she knows you were asking for her as soon as she wakes," Flitwick told them. "If she is ready for company, you may see her then."

"Thank you, Professor," Ariadne answered.

Edgar took Ariadne's hand and led her away. "Why don't you owl your mother," he suggested. "She'll have read the news by now and she'll want to know that Rowan is ok."

"Good idea," Ariadne answered. "Will you come with me and help me pick an owl? We still have some time before class."

"Sure," Edgar said and walked with her towards the owlery.

Rowan muzzily opened her eyes to streaming sunlight. She recognized her surroundings; she was in the infirmary again. Startled, she sat up. How long had she been here? When had she come? Where was Snape? They had taken him away and she was ... no, that was before. Rowan gave her head a shake; the confusion from her potioned sleep gradually faded.

Rowan swung her feet over the edge of the bed and poured herself a glass of water from the pitcher left there for her. Blinking in the bright sunlight as she drank, it came back to her.

Snape was safe. She was safe. Her mother was unhurt and was here, in the castle.

Madam Pomfrey, noticing she was moving, came over to check on her.

"How are you feeling? Did you have a good sleep?"

"Yes, thank you," Rowan answered. She had been mortally embarrassed on her way to the infirmary with Flitwick. Would Madam Pomfrey say anything about her last visit there? In the event, though, Poppy's calm practicality had soothed her right away. She gave no sign of recalling Rowan's previous admission and did only what was natural in seeing to the comfort of a newly bereaved student, the latest of several that year.

Nor did she trouble Rowan with uncomfortable remarks or questions this morning.

Dumbledore entered the infirmary, and after speaking a few words quietly with Madam Pomfrey, he greeted Rowan. "I hope you were able to get some rest, Miss Bourne?"

"Yes, thank you. I couldn't sleep in my dorm earlier, but Madam Pomfrey gave me a dose of sleeping potion after Professor Flitwick brought me here. Is my mum still in the castle?"

"Yes, although she will need to leave later today, as soon as preparations for her stay are completed. You may visit with her till then. I have come to bring you to her."

Rowan hesitated. "Won't everyone wonder where I am? What should I tell them?"

Dumbledore smiled at her reassuringly. "Your friends have been asking about you. Professor Flitwick has told them you are under Madam Pomfrey's care today and shouldn't be disturbed. We will travel to the guest hall by a back passage. I do know of a few," he told her with a wink.

Dumbledore then ushered her out the infirmary door. Nearby was a statue of Cliodne, who appeared to be standing on a windswept shore with a cluster of seabirds crowding at her feet. Dumbledore pressed the beak of one of the gulls, and Rowan turned with a start as a passage opened behind her. Dumbledore lit his wand and calmly gestured for her to follow. There was a steep staircase going down, a long twisty corridor, and a spiral case up. At the top of the spiral staircase, a small door opened into an alcove behind another statue.

Stepping out of the alcove, Rowan found herself in the middle of a corridor flanked by doorways. She herded a stray spider off her robe back into the dark passage and looked around.

She didn't recall ever seeing this part of the castle, but then she wouldn't have had reason to if it were only guest rooms.

The end of the corridor opened onto a wider space with sofas and low tables, and a staircase going down, which looked as if it led to the main stair tower with the portraits and switching staircases.

Dumbledore led her to the last door but two, towards the stair end of the hall. There was a number three on the door, carved in serpentine vines. He knocked politely and, after a brief delay, Laurel opened the door looking underslept, but not overwrought.

Rowan gave her mother a fierce hug and sat next to her in front of the breakfast tray. Dumbledore excused himself and left them to speak in private.

Rowan knew her mother wasn't going to be happy with what she had to tell her; despite the wonderful smells coming from the tray, Rowan could stomach no more than a cup of tea and a few nibbles of toast.

Playing with the toast in her hands, she tried to explain to her mother about Professor Snape. She told her how he had always been cold, distant and generally nasty to students and teachers alike, somewhat less so to students in his House.

Although he was unpopular, Rowan explained he had never harmed a student before now. She told him how he had helped her solve her invisibility fabric problem; she wouldn't have succeeded without his expertise.

Laurel listened, but she also watched. She saw Rowan's embarrassment and confusion, the faint pink wash on her cheeks and ears, and the hesitant glow in her eyes. "Rowan, you have feelings for him, don't you?"

"I do."

"Do you want to marry him?"

"I do." Rowan stopped. Her mother looked hardly more surprised than she felt to hear her own answer. Last night, she'd been thinking about how much she admired and respected him...she hadn't though in terms of love and marriage, but she'd been deceiving herself. She wanted him in her life. She wanted him for his intelligence and power, his deft touch and silky voice, the way he took her ideas and showed her how much more she could make of them, and the way he believed in her. She wasn't forced now; she could wait, go slower, but it was a war and he was a spy. This could easily be the only time there was. Then again, it might already be too late for her; she'd been so childish and treated him so badly.

Rowan faced her mother earnestly. "I do, but it may be too late. I was upset, and I said some awful things. I'm not sure he'll forgive me. Even if he did, I don't know if he would have me, now that there is a way out."

"If he's as smart as you say he is, of course he will," Laurel answered promptly.

"You have to say that, mum," Rowan answered, smiling.

"I can't say I like it," Laurel continued. "He's so much older than you, and from what your Headmaster has told me, being close to him seems to be terribly dangerous."

"Everywhere is dangerous nowadays, Mum," Rowan burst in. "Especially for a Muggle-born like me."

"Don't interrupt, dear."

"Sorry." Rowan bit her lip and waited for her mother to finish.

"I'm saying, I don't like it – but it isn't about what I like or don't like." Laurel told Rowan gravely. "If you've chosen him, and you are certain – well, I think you have turned into a sensible young woman. I'll have to trust your judgement, and I'll try to see his better qualities. He does have some, right?"

Rowan choked back a laugh and threw her arms around her mother.

They broke apart at the soft knock at the door. Rowan went to answer it and admitted Professor Dumbledore.

"The arrangements for your accommodation are ready, Mrs. Bourne. It is time for you to leave us now."

"Where is she going?" Rowan asked Dumbledore.

"To your friend Edgar's family," he answered. "Their farm is remote enough that it should be safe. I have known the family for years, and I trust them. I believe she will be happy and comfortable there, for as long as is necessary. I am afraid it will be too dangerous for you to communicate regularly," Dumbledore told her. "Voldemort is growing in power. He has people within the Ministry. I am not certain how much longer the Floo Network or the Owl post will be trustworthy."

Rowan stood and took her mother's hands. "Edgar is really nice; I'm sure his family is too. You should like it there."

"I did always like the country, at least for vacations. I guess we'll find out how it goes full time," Laurel said with a rueful laugh.

"Good bye, be safe." Rowan hugged her mother goodbye.

Wiping the tears away, Laurel kissed Rowan. She then turned to Dumbledore. "No time like the present."

Dumbledore smiled his approval. "Indeed there is not. Please please put this on, Mrs. Bourne," he said, offering her a full length violet cloak. "It will cover your clothes. Yes, and pull the hood up. There. We will need to walk to the edge of the grounds so that I can Apparate you to the farmhouse. Shall we?" He offered her his arm and escorted her from the room.

Rowan waited a few moments, checking to make sure her mother hadn't left anything behind by accident, and stepped into the hall.

A few minutes later, she was in the dungeons and knocking on Professor Snape's office door.

"Miss Bourne?"

"May I speak to you a few moments, please?" Rowan asked circumspectly as a trio of Slytherins were walking past en route to their dormitory.

"Certainly. I have heard the sad news about your mother, and I have been notified, along with your other teachers, that you are excused from classes for a while. I presume you wish to learn what will be covered in your absence?"

"Yes, please."

The Slytherins had heard about it too – there was a muffled snickering as they continued down the corridor.

"Step in then," Severus responded, walking back to his desk.

"We are covering the use of magical fungi as ingredients this week," he started to say, pulling some parchments from his desk, but Rowan stopped him.

"Excuse me. I didn't really want to talk about the class schedule."

Severus stopped stiffly.

"There is something, I have to say. I ... is it safe to speak now?" Rowan looked back at the door nervously, twisting her fingers in the fabric of her robes.

Severus observed her intently, unreadably. He shut and warded the door and brought her to a chair by the fireplace.

"I think I'd rather stand." Rowan took a deep breath. Now or never. You're sure? I'm sure, she answered herself, then lifted her chin and looked Severus in the eye.

"I wanted to apologize. I'm sorry that I was so upset when I found out you were still spying," Rowan told him firmly, then, watching him closely, added, "I had no right."

Whatever Snape had been expecting her to say, that was not it. His sallow skin paled, and his brows drew together. "You have already given me an apology, which I accepted. No more is necessary."

"Yes, it is." She paused a moment. "Before, I apologized for what I said. Now, I want to say that I'm sorry about how I felt."

"Miss Bourne," Severus began, more gently, but Rowan interrupted him.

"No, please. I have to say this before I lose my nerve."

Severus stopped, leaving whatever he was about to say unsaid, and waited.

"I was afraid, and I was being childish. After ... what happened ... You-Know-Who terrified me. I wanted to stay as far away from him as possible. If we were going to be married, and you were going to have to go to him all the time, I didn't think I could stand it." Rowan hung her head, embarrassed. She poked at the carpet fringe for a moment with the toe of her shoe.

Severus moved forward as if to take her hand but stopped, not touching her, only listening as she resumed speaking.

"Attacking my mother, burning our home. That made me think harder about things. He kills, tortures, destroys, for no reason. Not for gain, not even for hate. He would have killed my mother, he destroyed our home, out of nothing more than pique." Rowan's voice started to rise in her agitation, and she no longer looked shy. "He is a blight, a cancer, and I only wanted to hide someplace safe while other people tried to stop him. Now I'm ashamed," she admitted and hung her head again. "You are doing so much, taking such risks, and I'm only making it harder for you. I'm sorry," she said, in a very small voice.

Now Severus did touch her, putting a hand on her arm and moving closer to do so. She smelled his scent, an odor of whatever arcane things he'd been working on that morning mixed with the sharp tang of his own nervousness. She breathed it in while she waited to hear what he would say.

"You," Severus started, his voice tight with the rigidity apparent in his whole body, "you are barely more than a girl, not even out of school. Yet you have already done more to thwart his plans than many trained Aurors. You have nothing to be ashamed of." Rowan felt his hand tighten painfully on her arm, stressing his words.

"I do. I'm ashamed of how I treated you." Rowan reached out her left hand to touch his wrist tentatively. "May I ... may I see your arm ... please?" she asked softly.

There was no need to tell him which one. With a grimace Rowan didn't see, because she still could not look at his face, Snape dropped his right hand from her arm, took a half-step back and raised his left to her.

Rowan took his wrist in her left hand and undid the first few buttons of his sleeve with her right. Not daring to think of what she was going to do, she focused on the fabric under her fingers. The wool of his coat was smoothly spun with a firm twist that gave it a harsh hand, but would be long wearing. Even so, the edge of the hem was beginning to go threadbare.

When his coat sleeve was open to midway up the forearm, she opened the buttons of his shirt cuff and pushed the smooth linen back to reveal the ugly red lines of the Dark Mark. Reverently, she traced the shape with her forefinger. When she finally lifted her eyes to Snape's face, he saw tears there. He scowled, and he moved to pull his arm back, but Rowan did not let go.

Now her voice was roughened and thick. "No, you don't have to hide it from me. I can't imagine anyone being as brave as you, going back to Him, never knowing what may happen. If you hadn't, my mother would have been killed."

"Taking it was about the stupidest thing I've ever done in my life." Severus growled back at her. "If I didn't have it, your mother – you – would never have been in danger."

"I know a bit about being young and stupid," Rowan responded, with a catch in her voice. "You've spent your entire adult life making up for that, haven't you? And who is to say if we would have been safe otherwise? If you hadn't been reporting to Dumbledore, You-Know-Who might have won by now. Myself, and everyone like me, dead. Can you forgive me for being so stupid?"

"Of course." His voice sounded strangled, and he stood frozen. She quailed when she saw disbelief in his face, but she looked deeper and read the longing that was there too, and took heart from it.

"I have to know," she said in a small voice. "If none of this had happened, if you hadn't been forced into it, would you still have wanted to marry me?" Now I'm in for it. She held her breath and waited through the thick silence while Severus stopped motionless.

Who was the last person to ask me what I wanted? Severus wondered. She is so young; she's still a student. I have no business even thinking such things. But, oh Merlin! I do want her.

A lifetime of reticence was no easy habit for Severus to break, and his embarrassment looked to be nearly physically painful. When he finally spoke, his voice was hesitant, but deep and certain.

"After Leaving, when you would have no longer been a student, I meant to ... I would have spoken to you. I would have asked if you would allow me to see you."

Rowan let out her breath in a deep sigh. That was as much of a declaration as any woman could expect to hear from Severus Snape. It was enough.

She took the one step closer that put her right against him and laid her cheek on his shoulder. She heard his breath catch. His arms hesitated a moment, then slipped around her and embraced her tightly. She sighed again in contentment.

"I was going to ask you the same thing, right before I got on the train, so I could run if the answer was no." Hearing his breath catch, she smiled into his coat.

Severus held Rowan there for a long moment, only breathing. She stood in the circle of his arms, outwardly calm, inwardly wild to know what he was thinking and what would happen next.

Finally, he loosened his arms and moved his hands to her shoulders, stepping back a half-step to look in her face and ask, "Does this mean you will keep my ring?"

A few days ago, Rowan would have thought his frightening, somewhat constipated expression meant he wished she would not. Now she could tell that he was afraid to hope she would. Her mouth dried and her throat became too tight for speech; she could only nod. It was enough. He pulled her close again. He kissed her deeply, wrapping his arms around her, catching her weight in them when her knees became jelly.

A/N: Well, now. About time.

From the Harry Potter Wiki: Cliodne was a famous Irish druidess who lived in Medieval times. An Animagus with the ability to turn into a sea bird, she was aided by three magical birds that cured the sick by singing them to sleep.